Mood killer for the D/s dynamic

[Slave to Wife]

Now and then, my Queen will say, "Someone might hear us." Like if I say "you own me" out loud in a store of total strangers.

I respect and obey her leadership, but it saddens me and pulls me right out of subbie mindset, like a flat tire to a car. Why do we have to be embarrassed about who we are in 2023? And who else really is listening to our chit-chat?

Can you name a D/s mood killer in your FLR?

 

[flip__26]

If she doesn't want to play along like that in public, don't put her in that position. It's quite simple.

 

[Deleted member 100175]

kids !

 

[madams-sissysub]

Now and then, my Queen will say, "Someone might hear us." Like if I say "you own me" out loud in a store of total strangers.

I respect and obey her leadership, but it saddens me and pulls me right out of subbie mindset, like a flat tire to a car. Why do we have to be embarrassed about who we are in 2023? And who else really is listening to our chit-chat?

Can you name a D/s mood killer in your FLR?

you would love my Madam as she does the exact opposite! She love to take every opportunity to let people know who is in charge and she has zero embarrassment. so she loves to see me blush!

As for a mood killer I have to say madams period. She really suffers with them( very heavy and cramps) so as soon as they start she is not in the mood to for anything.

 

[docilesub]

I never say anything in pubic that would embarrass my wife. She decides who knows about our wife led marriage. She has one friend who she often talks to on speaker phone (sometimes for hours). My wife bosses me around with her friend listening. She does the same with her sister. So I know she let's some people know but for the most part she wants our wife led marriage to be private.

 

[Jessica Alexander]

Sounds like you are topping from the bottom.

 

[Slave to Wife]

Sounds like you are topping from the bottom.

I don't mean to sound like it. I obey and respect her wishes. I am owned and can't control her, and it's not like I argue with her about it. I just am a bit more comfortable with who we are and am expressing a notion here in the forum. There are other times she is more outward. Example: She, at times, up and orders for me at restaurants.

 

[Slave to Wife]

you would love my Madam as she does the exact opposite! She love to take every opportunity to let people know who is in charge and she has zero embarrassment. so she loves to see me blush!

As for a mood killer I have to say madams period. She really suffers with them( very heavy and cramps) so as soon as they start she is not in the mood to for anything.

I would love that!

Sorry to hear about the period. Mine makes me do tasks whether in the mood to play or no. Her deal is she likes being served. Do you still have to do chores or other basic things or does the whole dynamic shut down?

 

[JaySaysYes]

Cumbs in the bed.

 

[Arlentia2]

kids !

100% this!

 

[madams-sissysub]

I would love that!

Sorry to hear about the period. Mine makes me do tasks whether in the mood to play or no. Her deal is she likes being served. Do you still have to do chores or other basic things or does the whole dynamic shut down?

I’m sure you would love it! She has certainly caused a few raised brows. It is awful for her, having such discomfort, I still have to do my chores and I’m still a sub. It’s just that Madam is in no mood to reciprocate, it’s understandable though. Sometimes when she is over the worst of it, she will order me to put a tampon in as well so I have to suffer the discomfort as well.

 

[SubbyOfGrace]

My Goddess took control 12 years ago, and a LOT has changed in those dozen years.

TL/DR: health issues

Besides the obvious (covid, major shifts in society, etc), She also has gone through menopause and had some major health concerns. She's had a long list of issues, but I'll hit the highlights: 2 heart attacks, broken hip, UC, diabetes, survey on knee and both shoulders, chronic UTIs, idiopathic orthostatic hypotension (she randomly faints when standing up).

The most recent was a broken vertebrae, which has pretty much killed any sort of "impact play", anything which involves me in bondage (if she faints or falls and I can't get out of bondage, could be life threatening), and most sexual activities.

We did get a tiny window between a UTI where I was able to orally please Her, so I really still get to show my devotion (She has decreed that I do not need any more orgasms for the rest of my life) while patiently caring for Her and giving Her love and attentiveness.

I will admit, being in chastity without orgasm for more than 18 months has blessed me with a peaceful Zen that I never would have achieved without the guidance of my Goddess.

 

[IB-Chaste]

Subtleties in phrases. The one that springs to mind is this:
“Do you want to come out of the cage?”.

Now, I’m a man. I like to orgasm. I like to play with myself. Of course I want to be out of the cage! So the only real answer here is yes! Every time she asks I have this slight hope she’s going to say no! That’s never happened once.

It turns out that when she wants me out of the cage she asks my feelings on the matter. Which is actually really respectful, and as a caring partner it’s everything I could wish for…

She will follow this up with “you can’t cum though” or “get the [emla] cream” so I guess she doesn’t actually lose any authority…

Yeah, it’s not a mood killer as such. Guess we don’t actually live in a D/s dynamic as much as we play with orgasm denial these days.

 

[Slave to Wife]

My Goddess took control 12 years ago, and a LOT has changed in those dozen years.

TL/DR: health issues

Besides the obvious (covid, major shifts in society, etc), She also has gone through menopause and had some major health concerns. She's had a long list of issues, but I'll hit the highlights: 2 heart attacks, broken hip, UC, diabetes, survey on knee and both shoulders, chronic UTIs, idiopathic orthostatic hypotension (she randomly faints when standing up).

The most recent was a broken vertebrae, which has pretty much killed any sort of "impact play", anything which involves me in bondage (if she faints or falls and I can't get out of bondage, could be life threatening), and most sexual activities.

We did get a tiny window between a UTI where I was able to orally please Her, so I really still get to show my devotion (She has decreed that I do not need any more orgasms for the rest of my life) while patiently caring for Her and giving Her love and attentiveness.

I will admit, being in chastity without orgasm for more than 18 months has blessed me with a peaceful Zen that I never would have achieved without the guidance of my Goddess.

I like your dedication. It's hard for me to submit without dominance at least, oh, once a week or so. We have a few daily routines to keep me in sub brain. There's a fine line where a sub/slave can turn into a mere frustrated vanilla man.

Yeah, mine has told me I will never fuck again but I am getting out of chastity for a week on a vacation. Looking forward to it.

 

[Slave to Wife]

Subtleties in phrases. The one that springs to mind is this:
“Do you want to come out of the cage?”.

Now, I’m a man. I like to orgasm. I like to play with myself. Of course I want to be out of the cage! So the only real answer here is yes! Every time she asks I have this slight hope she’s going to say no! That’s never happened once.

It turns out that when she wants me out of the cage she asks my feelings on the matter. Which is actually really respectful, and as a caring partner it’s everything I could wish for…

She will follow this up with “you can’t cum though” or “get the [emla] cream” so I guess she doesn’t actually lose any authority…

Yeah, it’s not a mood killer as such. Guess we don’t actually live in a D/s dynamic as much as we play with orgasm denial these days.

Our rulers like to rule, and they often are quite nice about it, huh? I have a saying when we weighed switching our marriage from vanilla to D/s again that went, "I don't want to be locked in chastity unless you want me locked up. I don't desire you to lock me up to please my submissive urges. You decide based on your wishes to control and own me." And after thinking about it, a few days later, she said she wants me to live my life as her chastity slave because it is our natural tendency anyway. She said she wants me locked up more than I want her to lock me up. I loved that.

I always want out of the cage. It's the denial that is sexy.

 

[Woodys Locked Up]

Subtleties in phrases. The one that springs to mind is this:
“Do you want to come out of the cage?”.

Now, I’m a man. I like to orgasm. I like to play with myself. Of course I want to be out of the cage! So the only real answer here is yes! Every time she asks I have this slight hope she’s going to say no! That’s never happened once.

It turns out that when she wants me out of the cage she asks my feelings on the matter. Which is actually really respectful, and as a caring partner it’s everything I could wish for…

She will follow this up with “you can’t cum though” or “get the [emla] cream” so I guess she doesn’t actually lose any authority…

Yeah, it’s not a mood killer as such. Guess we don’t actually live in a D/s dynamic as much as we play with orgasm denial these days.

Funny! My wife never asks me that.. Every once in a while when she's teasing me, I test her by asking her to let me out sooner than planned. The last time, she said "Nope!". But her usual response is, "Do you really want me to do that?" To that question, I answer, "I always want you to let me out when you tease me."

She's never let me out when I've asked.

 

[peter7447]

Kids!

And everything that reminds me from her side that this "is just a fun sex game we like to play, its not like those rules are really rules" ... argh! ...

 

[shannonsanders]

My wife is turned off when something seems like “work” to her versus being “playful”. This depends on mood, but she doesn’t want to micromanage me.

besides kids, life stresses - big and small - generally. Work, illness, family obligations.