My Intro

[Jimi123]

Hello everyone. I'm here more curious then anything else about the chastity lifestyle. I supposed in my personal history I've been a bit the Alpha Male but now I'm a happy vanilla husband. Our sex life is creative but we probably not tooooo wild based on what I've read so far. I'm all for sexually strong willed women and for males who are selfish lovers or have strayed I think the idea of some training makes perfect sense. I think it would be nice if guys were better without being locked up however.

I'm not into cuckolding for various reasons. I don't feel so good about how I acted post a bad marital relationship going bottoms up. Revenge sex I suppose and thus that Alpha Male tag. Fantasy wise its different at least.

The males seeking to be feminized and shot full of female hormones while going through full time sexual denial and chastity make me wonder whats going on in their heads. Is this lots of guilt and real transexuality? I think in some cases that might be true. Or is it all just a very extreme fetish? I don't know buts it very interesting. My only experience with Bondage was a girl who was very horny but felt a lot of guilt over her needs and wanted to be tied up so it wasn't her "fault." As cute as she was this didn't do anything for me and I opted out of that scene.

Ok, I'm sure this is boring the heck out of everyone...

 

[PuppyMastersPet]

The males seeking to be feminized and shot full of female hormones while going through full time sexual denial and chastity make me wonder whats going on in their heads. Is this lots of guilt and real transexuality? I think in some cases that might be true. Or is it all just a very extreme fetish?

Im not sure what point your trying to make but I can assure you Im quite sane. Im sure you didnt mean anything by your comment but I found it mildly offensive.
I choose to be feminized as and outlet for my feminine feelings. I think to call it an extreme fetish is a bit presumptuous also, for me at least it is a release, I often feel more comfortable rather than horny.

Perhaps if your curios you should read some of the very in depth threads and diaries that there are on here.

 

[Jimi123]

Humm.. Sorry I don't believe I doubted anyone's sanity. "Whats going on in someone's head" is simply wondering what motivates you. Maybe your reading a tone from my post. Tone of course is difficult to read in a text message. If I was saying "whats in the head of these twisted freaks?" then you would be right but note I did NOT say that.

I simply posted my best guess of what some people might be into with no intention of suggesting that its the only reason for what your into. I've read a few dozen pages of posts from various people *yourself included and still wonder what its all about at the core level. If that offends you?

Is denial all (or rather mostly) about the rush of being allowed later? I can get that. However many people list a wish to be forever denied. I can't wrap my head around that one from the denied persons perspective. Sub Space is too far from my comfortable world I guess.

The whole issue of female led couplings I get and in truth is very common (I think) in a lot of relationships and in some cultures is the norm. Is having a man who makes the same or less then the woman lay about doing nothing a good arrangement? No. Is having him do everything he can to help around the house? Well if he really is devoted to his SO I don't think it should be odd. Personally I don't see the need (in my case at least) to use a chair and a whip to get there. I'm pussy whipped enough.

Sexual gender switching is interesting to me. I've got my own hormone issues and have a TS friend but she is pretty Vanilla and not involved in anything like Chastity or denial etc. So I am curious if its just about the clothing / lingerie etc or if its about a real gender issue Transexuality vrs Cross Dressing?

The Bondage stuff as I've said I have VERY little experience with. My limited experience was with one rather troubled young lady that wanted to be sexual but was just too repressed to be open about it. Is that common? I have ZERO clue. When someone can explain it to dunce like me they will have made a communications breakthrough I think.

Cuckolding is the most difficult thing for me to understand. If a man stops doing intercourse and desires to be shut out for good with his SO and she wants intercourse I can grasp that moving outside the relationship to get it is "logical" (Outside of moral issues) But the problems of STDs/Aids etc? Yikes. And then you have the issue of pregnancy and other complications that make me really scratch my head. Is it really that exciting to watch this that its worth all this?

Anyway, don't be angry. I'm a love-able fuzzball mostly harmless but curious.

 

[newsub4a]

Well Jimi you certainly have written an eyeful! Some would wonder why you are on this site as you seem to have little in common with those of us here. From your posts i suppose curiosity might be the biggest culprit.

If you seek enlightenment to your many, many ramblings then i suggest you post individual questions for folks to respond to. Heck, it might get some stimulating threads going!

Right now i am far too tired and have too little time to even attempt to answer your many questions coherently.

oh... welcome to the boards!

 

[mikecb]

Welcome Jimi,

The lifestyles enjoyed by many here sure ARE complicated. I'll touch on a few things that I think about when I try to understand my own kinks.

Chastity and denial: I think what I love most about it is just how horny I get. Imagine that sensation of getting all worked up during sex, and your 80% "there"... and then just holding it there for days at a time. There are times that I can just LOOK at a woman, and my heart will flutter. That was business as usual at age 14, but at age 45, I think it's pretty cool! lol.

Submission: I think this is a big part you can't identify with, based on your self-descriptions. No harm there, but I think it is one of the barriers to understanding folks here. Some folks get more pleasure from serving others needs (sexual or otherwise), than from serving their own. My own submissive tendencies are strange even to me. I'm sexually submissive, but otherwise rather dominant. If only my lover or I could have an orgasm during sex, I'd choose my lover every time. However, outside the bedroom, I prefer to call the shots. I still haven't figured that one out myself! lol.

Cross-dressing: Others will have to speak to that one. Those don't tickle my buttons either, but I see lots of people here taking delight in it. I enjoy reading about their adventures, and how happy it makes them.

Cuckholding & Full-time-denial: I "get" this a fair amount, from the chastity perspective. Being sexually submissive myself, I can see the intrigue in having my sex SO owned that it's no longer a "right" in my relationship. Those interested in Poly relationships probably also get intrigued by aspects of cuckholding, if they end up serving multiple partners. It doesn't do much for me unless I imagine serving two women. I love my male friends, both straight and gay, I just don't want to have sex with 'em! lol.

Enjoy the forums. I DO suggest you tread gently with your questions. It strikes me that you're are not ill-meaning, but you ARE somewhat blunt. As we all know, "tone" is really tough to convey.

Welcome, again,
Mike

 

[PuppyMaster]

I think the point is, we all get off on different things, what does it for one person does not do it for another, we are all individuals. You can not generalise within the bdsm community that we are all guilt ridden or messed up in the head as that is not the case. We all do it for our own reasons and thats great in my eyes.

 

[PuppyMastersPet]

I don’t class myself as transsexual, transgender or even a cross dresser. It’s not easy to put into words the emotions and feelings involved at any one time. I do know though that I’m most content when dressed in female clothing including make up, hair ect and I’m also most content when I’m in my subspace. For me dressing alone is not a turn on, I sometimes dress without any sexually connotations being involved. When I am dressed my penis is usually tucked and I make all efforts to look as feminine as possible.

The forced feminization is an outlet for my desire to appear feminine. It also goes hand in hand with my chastity which is another subject which seems to confuse you.
Chastity for me is a way for me to stay horny and it also increases my feminine desires.
I chose to be placed in chastity and have never looked back since. An orgasm for me does not compare with the intense experiences I have when I’m in my subspace.
The feeling of denial can not begin explained easily. You can go from complete frustration to the feeling of complete euphoria.

I would say that chastity and forced feminization is by no means an extreme fetish or kink. If you look on google you can find a lot more kinks out there that are actually extreme and in some cases unhealthy. Feminization, BDSM, chastity and bondage are in my opinion healthy forms of release from every day life. Some people choose to go out take drugs, drink and have fights in order to unwind. I on the other hand with my Master choose to partake in BDSM related activities.

I’m not sure any of this is helping you to understand what it is that is going on in my head, but I hope it goes some way to explaining how I feel.
Just to add I’m a relatively successful person and I’m usually quite controlling in my normal life. Most writings on submission often refer to dominant successful people preferring to be submissive when it comes to sexually activities and visa versa for Dominant people. This isn’t the case for everyone but it goes some way to explaining why most people do what they do.

 

[Jimi123]

Thanks for the replies. And I'm sorry if I come off as being negative or blunt. Yes, I do understand that people get off on a variety of weird and wonderful things and I didn't come here to be a jerk or tell people off. Trust me I'm not a prude.

Ok on seeking the pleasure of your SO more then your own. Kudos! Thats very laudable and I think many women would be thrilled to switch the men they have that only think of getting their rocks "off" for a guy who only thinks of getting their SO off.

In my early experiences I had a SO who made it very clear that "Ladies come (climax) first" and I got well trained so to speak on how to do oral sex so some of what I read is very DejaVu. Its interesting because the first sexual experience with my DW was me doing OS on her and no attempt at anything that would give me a happy ending. She nearly feel over dead because her previous experiences were with the PE type Wham Bam *And not even a thank you madam!

The submissive aspect? Well I spend a lot of time as a "A" type person. I'm trying NOT to be. Heart Attacks etc al.... And we all could use a break but.... I think a little of that might be interesting but I'm concerned for us it would change the way my DW and I relate to each other so....

BTW thank you. I really do appreciate what your all saying. That this is not a one set of "Rules" or motivations fits all. I probably have more incite into Vanilla Transexuality then most guys. So if I am trying to punch a square peg in a round hole because of my own perceptions of what thats about its my own dumbness. However if anyone IS really having thoughts about that I know some people. I have some info... Lets talk or PM.

As to how I found you. I was (yikes) Ahh err... Googling Strapon sex. I know your eyebrows are all lifting? Vanilla Jimi?! You perv! Well I have had some medical "issues" and we use this when the Vitamin V runs out... Plus she likes the Variety *Ok, now all the Cuckold fans can say "Hey we have an even BETTER plan!" Uhh.... yikes... Nope - Not really ready for anything like that...

I've had one relationship where I was what you would call the Alpha Male type and.... It wasn't right for me. Church Morals etc.

 

[Jimi123]

Hi Mikecb.
I do get the edging part but what we do is not for any great length of time. Days on edge? Yikes... Well with my ED issues that would be VERY expensive. But thanks. I do get that now...

The Poly part I probably don't "dig" because I had one SO who was very VERY into just switching partners on a whim. I understand now that this is just her nature but it wasn't made clear to me and caused a lot of anguish. More along the lines of "What the hell"

 

[Mistress Watchful]

Welcome, welcome Jimi.... it's good to have you here, I'm just sorry I wasn't here to unravel your questions as they came up, so forgive me if I miss a few bits.

Working in no particular order...

I understand now that this is just her nature but it wasn't made clear to me and caused a lot of anguish.

Infidelity and Cuckolding are VERY different. I was DISGUSTED with cuckolding when I first came to the chastity world. How could they (the Mistresses) possibly fuck someone else and have such little regard for their pets/submissives? I did not understand at all, but as time goes on I see the attraction... but am still not sure if we will ever take it to that level. Each to their own.

For the record, I too had infidelity issues in my marriage and it hurts like hell. The big difference for me and the relationship I have now, is that cuckolding would be a 100% negotiated and agreed on pursuit. Honesty and openness are crucial.

As for the sissies/TS/TV...etc etc. Can't really answer for them, I'm a real girl. When pet started to become interested in sissification it became an overwhelming, all consuming occupation for a while. Clothes shopping was no longer just for me, if I asked if something was nice he would ask "for you or charlotte" and that drove me nuts... and worried me that he would want to go down the hormone route, etc. I visited a TS/TV site to chat to the "girls" and their wives and girlfriends and realised that pet is nowhere near that "I'm a woman trapped in a man's body". Some people have the full genetic urge to become female, some love to wear dresses and false breasts and high heels to either please their Mistress, or to become closer to that image of perfection - a woman.

At the other end, some never wish to wear women's clothing and therefore wearing women's panties can be used as a punishment by the Mistress.

With respect to denial - yes for some it is the rush of being released, for others it is the fact that it helps them to become focused on the needs of their Mistress.

Reading between the lines, you say that men should be like that anyway: help their partners, do some chores, etc - especially if both work, and yes that works for some. My husband saw to my every need, but was not submissive, or kinky... he did nearly all the cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc, and didn't like sex - you would think he was prime chastity and sissymaid material, but he sounds more like you - he did it because it was the way he was brought up, to respect women, but not on a sissy/serving/submissive level... that I think is for the kinksters.

My pet NEEDS training! He wants to please and to serve but to be honest he's a lazy, selfish 23 year old. And who can blame him! Here he is, thrown into an established house with 4 kids, bills, etc... what 23 year old knows how to cope? For us, we can make the transition sexual... training, discipline, cross-dressing, what fun!

Bondage: I love to be restrained, so does pet. Part of it is the reason your repressed girlfriend asked for it - responsibility for your pleasure is taken away, you can't help it, it's being done TO you. For me it's like being regressed to childhood, no worries, no thinking about anything, just give yourself over to someone and have all the pressures taken away for a while and just ENJOY! Play the game, have the fun...

Nice to know we're coming up in Google under strap-on sex... spread the word! :nerd:

Hopefully you have found some good information here on strap ons. In the UK we have a lovely ladies shop called Shh. They do very nice strap on harnesses and a WIDE WIDE range of dildos, in colours to match your bedroom, your outfit, or your mood. They are very tasteful, and I love them.

Ask all the questions you want Jimi, we just love to answer them. :angel:

 

[Jimi123]

Welcome, welcome Jimi.... it's good to have you here, I'm just sorry I wasn't here to unravel your questions as they came up, so forgive me if I miss a few bits.

Working in no particular order...



Infidelity and Cuckolding are VERY different. I was DISGUSTED with cuckolding when I first came to the chastity world. How could they (the Mistresses) possibly fuck someone else and have such little regard for their pets/submissives? I did not understand at all, but as time goes on I see the attraction... but am still not sure if we will ever take it to that level. Each to their own.

For the record, I too had infidelity issues in my marriage and it hurts like hell. The big difference for me and the relationship I have now, is that cuckolding would be a 100% negotiated and agreed on pursuit. Honesty and openness are crucial.

As for the sissies/TS/TV...etc etc. Can't really answer for them, I'm a real girl. When pet started to become interested in sissification it became an overwhelming, all consuming occupation for a while. Clothes shopping was no longer just for me, if I asked if something was nice he would ask "for you or charlotte" and that drove me nuts... and worried me that he would want to go down the hormone route, etc. I visited a TS/TV site to chat to the "girls" and their wives and girlfriends and realised that pet is nowhere near that "I'm a woman trapped in a man's body". Some people have the full genetic urge to become female, some love to wear dresses and false breasts and high heels to either please their Mistress, or to become closer to that image of perfection - a woman.

At the other end, some never wish to wear women's clothing and therefore wearing women's panties can be used as a punishment by the Mistress.

With respect to denial - yes for some it is the rush of being released, for others it is the fact that it helps them to become focused on the needs of their Mistress.

Reading between the lines, you say that men should be like that anyway: help their partners, do some chores, etc - especially if both work, and yes that works for some. My husband saw to my every need, but was not submissive, or kinky... he did nearly all the cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc, and didn't like sex - you would think he was prime chastity and sissymaid material, but he sounds more like you - he did it because it was the way he was brought up, to respect women, but not on a sissy/serving/submissive level... that I think is for the kinksters.

My pet NEEDS training! He wants to please and to serve but to be honest he's a lazy, selfish 23 year old. And who can blame him! Here he is, thrown into an established house with 4 kids, bills, etc... what 23 year old knows how to cope? For us, we can make the transition sexual... training, discipline, cross-dressing, what fun!

Bondage: I love to be restrained, so does pet. Part of it is the reason your repressed girlfriend asked for it - responsibility for your pleasure is taken away, you can't help it, it's being done TO you. For me it's like being regressed to childhood, no worries, no thinking about anything, just give yourself over to someone and have all the pressures taken away for a while and just ENJOY! Play the game, have the fun...

Nice to know we're coming up in Google under strap-on sex... spread the word! :nerd:

Hopefully you have found some good information here on strap ons. In the UK we have a lovely ladies shop called Shh. They do very nice strap on harnesses and a WIDE WIDE range of dildos, in colours to match your bedroom, your outfit, or your mood. They are very tasteful, and I love them.

Ask all the questions you want Jimi, we just love to answer them. :angel:

Ha! Well the way you describe it sounds a lot less unusual. In particular the part about having a 23 year old SO who needs serious training. I was probably much worse because I got married at a younger age (ack) and was... Without a clue.

The betrayal part of sex outside the marriage thing... Yes. I hated having it done to me and the "revenge sex" I did after the Divorce didn't sit well with me. I think as exciting as the fantasy aspect of being in such a relationship would be I also would be very very hesitant to make a step that can't be undone like that.

Helping around the house. Taking a part in raising your kids, cooking?? Thats a pleasure. Plus ahh... my wife is not too good at cooking... Burning yes! But her mother blerted out that she "used" to be good before she met me... Hummmm.... I wonder what that means?

As to sex. I guess the idea of denial for anything more then really short term would probably make my head explode. I had a few sex drive issues a while ago but through the magic of medical science I'm revved up pretty much 24:7. Does anyones Chastity device crack open or burst into flame? ;-)

I tried to comment to you on the whole TS/TV thing but It may have exploded in cyberspace. I'm not as techno as I should be. Anyway. Through my own medical issues and making friends with a couple TS folks to share notes on how hormones work and the best mix I've been "edumacated." I think some people feel a great deal of fear about admitting they are "wrong" and when it does come out they are so relieved. Others such as your Pet may just be so turned on my the wonderfulness of the female in form etc that they want to emulate it? Thats if nothing else very interesting. The danger (I think) is playing with hormones. I don't think anyone who hasn't lost them and got them back can understand how powerful they are and how they hard wire everything that makes us male or female.

THANK YOU for spelling out your slant on Bondage. Thats pretty much what I thought. I liked the lady who wanted me to do that but really wasn't into her sexually. *Not sure why? Anyway I thought at the time "Why not just say your horny and take it from there?" and yes... She really had strong problems with being open and direct about sex. It was easier for her to be "done" to "do" others. And thats ok but maybe I'm too afraid of what would be done or I would do?

 

[Mistress Watchful]

Does anyones Chastity device crack open or burst into flame?

Maybe you should try it and find out.... *giggles*

The danger (I think) is playing with hormones.

Absolutely, I agree. I very much doubt we would go that route, and I think that maybe that route is reserved for those who are already hard-wired into the "wrong" body... I would not do anything to pet's body that I didn't think was 100% reversible.

To those that want to, I don't have a problem with it at all as long as it is a considered process and what they need to make them feel comfortable in themselves.

I'm going to make a big sweeping statement now, but you appear to have trust issues. I completely understand given the previous abuse of trust, but the D/s world is built on trust... without it, there is nothing. :crossedlips:

 

[Jimi123]

Thanks for the reply. I've read more of the site and I'm starting to get more of it. Your and Pet's blog is very interesting. How you juggle your sex life with kids... Anyway, good on you as my Australian friends say.

Hummm... Well I have to admit (Alpha Male out of control hormones talking now) that you tempt me. You DO know you are soooo smoking hot in that red corset right? ;-) Now, if only my Mrs would dress a tad more like that SIGH.... Just a compliment I'm sure you get lots of Kudos....
I see your from the UK btw? Which I associate with beautiful women, garters and stockings... *and now male chastity and bondage?

As to ME??? trying Chastity.... <gulp> To be honest. I think I would probably be one of the guys we don't read about with his ahh... "unit" in a Vice using a hammer and a blow torch trying to get it off after about.... 1 or 2 days... I enjoy sex waaaay too much... I'm a considerate lover (I think / am told) and not the type that rolls over and is an "ass" afterwards... There is a sort of Gentlemen code of sex. "Ladies come first" in the door and orgasm wise but whew.... Ok, rambling but... Seriously what would terrify me most would be this. What if I did this and got "used" to a orgasm free life? in other words it didn't bother me to go days, months or years without an orgasm. My wife would (I think) either become upset, asexual or want out or at least "a" sexual relationship with someone functional and more important "interested." That wouldn't work for me (for sure) and I think it would be a pain for her as well... And might explain why some relationships turn to cuckolding for some sort of sexual relief?

Our focus has been on how to have more wild sex with each other and look for Hot things that work when the ahh.... Viagra runs out.

Ok, there you know my big secret. Damn Blood Pressure meds....

Your comment on trust really makes me think. Sad to say that my friend from eons ago who wanted to try that with me was saying a very nice thing. "I trust you to tie me up and do whatever kinky thing you want to." I saw it more as being Immature (Her not being "adult" and saying Look I want to have sex with you) I suppose which is a blot on me being open to things that are different. Oh well... Live and learn!

A close minded male with too much Testosterone?! Naw... that CAN'T be!?

 

[Mistress Watchful]

You're a scream Jimi! I love your honesty.

Nothing wrong with looking for "hot" things to spice up your love life, but for some people (99% of the people here) having cocks locked up, teased and denied is uber-spicy!

I have a very open mind, I thought I'd been there done that on most sexual techniques, and it blew me away that my naive young boyfriend found a kink I didn't know existed!

I resisted and resisted, but it grows on me more each day... now it grows faster on me and he is the one resisting, but I have plans. :xd:

This may pass, or it may develop into 24/7, as long as I am with pet I'm sure we can make most things work.

Don't knock it till you've tried it!

 

[Jimi123]

Whoooo...

My wife would conk me over the head for saying it but... If my wife showed up looking like you and suggested this at the wrong time... Like when I was really horny? ha! Well... I might be tempted (and probably really regret it) but.... As I said I really like sex way too much and if I understand it the goal is to deny men orgasm to make them more willing to please their women? At least at some point? And to make them willing to participate in doing things around the house etc?

My wife knows that I am happy to do just about anything in bed that she likes whenever she likes and for as long as she likes so... Not sure that Chastity would provide much change there.

I think men masturbating when there are willing (or better yet Horny) women around is a waste. ;-) Sorry more Alpha Male type talk.

I'm far from perfect but I do cook, wash floors on occasion, get the kids to participate in the house work and break up the fights <grin>

I think the female form is wonderful / delicious etc but I don't want one myself.

 

[Jimi123]

You're a scream Jimi! I love your honesty.
Don't knock it till you've tried it!

BTW by its nature is it even "Possible" to try it? I mean as the male is not the most important part of this that you give up your sexuality??? Or are you trying to trick me??? Soooo evil.... But cute! ;-)

 

[Mistress Watchful]

You are definitely putting a lot of emphasis on helping round the house and women coming first... there is a lot more depth to it than that.

Can I even begin to explain? Oh no!!!

Any normal, vanilla, Alpha Male would be happy to do the things you suggest (I have one particular Alpha Male in mind here *blushes*)

Alpha Males still adore women, and worship them... just on a different level to the submissive sluts.

Anyone else here help me explain this one?!?!?!

Soooo evil.... But cute!

Why, thank you.

 

[mikecb]

Alpha Males still adore women, and worship them... just on a different level to the submissive sluts.

Anyone else here help me explain this one?!?!?!

I wish I could, adequately, because it's a struggle I have understanding my own submissive tendencies.

For a while, I thought it was just letting go of decision making. The Domme should make all the decisions. Lately, I've come to feel that a lot of Dommes find that WAY too high maintenance. Also, in my own mind, I can't imagine that someone so completely incapable of taking care of themselves to be very alluring or attractive. It's like having a baby to take care of, not a partner.

If I try to put myself in a Domme's shoes, I would be attracted to a sub who was capable, powerful, and yet completely mine. Of course, this is probably my alpha-male, testosterone fumed idea of what a Domme would want. One metaphor in my own mind is that of a trained lion. Imagine befriending a lion. It's powerful, scary, majestic, and yet will protect you to the death. Imagine how it would feel to have a lion at your feet, there to please and protect you. It will do anything you wish, but ONLY for YOU.

I think that's somewhat how I envision my submission. I want to be the lion. Maybe that just makes me a protective Alpha male, and not a submissive at all. I don't know. I'm still trying to sort it out. :tongue:

 

[newsub4a]

Chastity is very difficult to explain and is often different for most people. Perhaps to put it is the most basic, simply terms is that for me it is the ultimate in bondage and submission... you are giving up your core sexual identity to another.

That was the simple, basic explanation but it goes beyond that and then things get trickier to explain. Another key element is that it is akin to tantric sex... being in a constant state of arousal, always on edge, living in a sense on the outskirts of nirvana. Being denied release is pretty tough, but after a while without orgasm i get to the point where i both crave it and dread it :squigglemouth: i crave that sense of bliss that comes with an orgasms, but i dread it because i know that the bliss will last only seconds and that after i will drop into a horrible place (aka away from nirvana) and it will take me several days to get back (this is even true with ruined orgasms).

I should also point out that before we started chastity play i was a very skilled and considerate lover. i was also a chronic masturbator... 2-3 times a day (and then having regular sex also). Needless to say, chastity is very tough on me and my body works hard to break it's bonds every night :sad: i wish i could sleep 8 hours without waking in pain every hour :sad:

Now that we have implemented chastity into our lifestyle i am unable to last long enough to give Goddess the great sex She deserves and wants (hence cuckolding). This is the side effect of being in a constant state of arousal and sexual nirvana, but it is the current game of choice for us both and will likely last until we get bored with it and move onto something else.

So here's the rub.. have you ever had an emotional orgasm just from watching the woman you love take off Her clothes? i did just last night and it is an intense feeling! :angel:

 

[newsub4a]

I wish I could, adequately, because it's a struggle I have understanding my own submissive tendencies.

For a while, I thought it was just letting go of decision making. The Domme should make all the decisions. Lately, I've come to feel that a lot of Dommes find that WAY too high maintenance. Also, in my own mind, I can't imagine that someone so completely incapable of taking care of themselves to be very alluring or attractive. It's like having a baby to take care of, not a partner.

If I try to put myself in a Domme's shoes, I would be attracted to a sub who was capable, powerful, and yet completely mine. Of course, this is probably my alpha-male, testosterone fumed idea of what a Domme would want. One metaphor in my own mind is that of a trained lion. Imagine befriending a lion. It's powerful, scary, majestic, and yet will protect you to the death. Imagine how it would feel to have a lion at your feet, there to please and protect you. It will do anything you wish, but ONLY for YOU.

I think that's somewhat how I envision my submission. I want to be the lion. Maybe that just makes me a protective Alpha male, and not a submissive at all. I don't know. I'm still trying to sort it out. :tongue:

mike jumped in while i was writing my post... what a great post he wrote!

From talking with female dominants at the dungeon, i have to say that you have hit the nail on the head with the type of men they look for. After all, it is a POWER exchange... if the sub has no power, then what is there to exchange?

Goddess and i have also dealt with those same issues that mike brought up, but i tended to refer to myself as Goddess's submissive champion.

i think it was Mistress Michelle that told me (on chastity lifestyle) that the job of a submissive was to make his dominants life easier and i thought that was great advice. i have tried to live up to that and make that the cornerstone of my submission. Sometimes it works and at others... well, i'm trying and still learning

 

[Jimi123]

I appreciate all your responses. From everything I've read it seemed (to me) at first there was a spectrum of how far people take Chastity... The more I read it the more I think its more of an evolution. This is probably wrong but here is my guess.

It starts as a pretty simple sexual "kink" Lets lock up DH and tease and deny him a little to he REALLY gets off when he is allowed. *And from what I see this is that "Be careful what you wish for" because its this first step that might be the already to late to change your mind step. ;-)

While this is going on the dominant female starts to use this as a tool to "train" the submissive to do her will and the sexual dynamic generally becomes more and more centered on the female (and her sexual pleasure) and less and less on the male and his orgasms / erections. The female may start off thinking this is weird and twisted but the power and control and sex on demand are all very seductive. So what may start in an innocent way becomes very serious. Soon the sexual control extends into other areas where the typical male duties are expanded to include the non sexual needs of the female dominant.

At some point the submissive learns that his orgasm = a temporary lack of devotion to his dominant and he embraces an orgasm free life to maintain a 24:7 full time devotion. (Excluding Milking, ruined orgasms etc) Pleasing his Dominant = Pleasure and no pleasing her/him = pain.

The dominant female may decide that the sexual services be they oral, vibes, toys etc of her submissive are not working for her (*Plus long periods of being locked up = Premature Ejaculation for example and probably penile atrophy.) and then the couple goes into a cuckold lifestyle where a non submissive Alpha Male provides sexual service and possibly co-domination.

Uhh... Is this correct so far?

I'm still trying to get a "theory" that fits most for subs seeking feminization. I think that the fact that most transexuals are m2f and that industry is pumping us all full of synthetic Estrogen is part of this plus it seems to be more allowed by the Dominants (In general) so there maybe a freedom to express that side that would not be possible in a Vanilla relationship???

 

[newsub4a]

The more I read it the more I think its more of an evolution

That is probably true... at least it is for me.

I'm still trying to get a "theory"

I don't think there is a theory at all.

It seems like you are trying to put everything into a neat box and in fact you can not. There are simply too many variables. Most of these relationships that you are reading about have evolved over years and there has probably been a lot of back-sliding and re-negotiating along the way as well. D/s relationships require a lot of work to maintain, more so than a vanilla one and the only "box" you can put them in is that the people involved are committed to each other for the moment.

 

[Mistress Watchful]

I agree with newsub, but I also think you have got the general grasp of chastity as far as long-term couples are concerned.

Of course, when you move into the realm of submissives who are using chastity as a "kink-mechanism" (difficult to explain what I mean...!) to deny themselves with the help of a distant-Domme type relationship, there are many more aspects to consider...

As for the TS/TV + Chastity + submission, they are not inextricably linked and each exists in their own right.

I never knew about chastity when I was a submissive (maybe because I was female?) and I never linked the cross-dressing to either chastity or submission...

Not every cross-dresser or sissy is in chastity, not everyone in chastity participates in (for example) humiliation or water-sports or pony play... ad infinitum.

It's a true pick "n" mix and you choose what works for you and ditch the rest!

 

[PuppyMastersPet]

I remember when I first started to realise that I enjoyed dressing in female clothing, I tried to categorise myself. I often wondered if I was transgender or Transsexual, I asked the question, what am I. I tried to find people on the net that had similar feelings and in some ways I have, but I found that no one person felt exactly the same when it comes to feminization.

I’ve found people that started out with feminization and have ended up living as women full time and at the other end of the scale found people that only wear panties in order to show there submission. I feel that I’m somewhere in between, but there is still no categorization that’s fits.

I know now that I enjoy dressing. I like the clothes, I love stocking and I like to do my hair and makeup. I can’t though see myself living as a woman full time, in a perfect world I would probably choose to but as things are I’m happy staying as I am.
I choose forced feminization because it fits into our lifestyle (Master and I). It allows me to fully explore my feminization whilst having Master’s control over me, it shows his dominance. In some ways it makes it easier for me to accept my cross dressing desires, having the change from butch alpha male to sissy maid forced upon me.

I agree completely that you shouldn’t mess around with hormones, especially artificial estrogen unless a lot of thought has been put into it. I must admit I have taken natural supplements that are supposed to boost natural estrogen levels but this was only after much consideration. I was looking to increase my breast size just slightly in order for me to have some much desired cleavage.

What I’ve written has only come from my personal experience but as you can see it is hard to come up with a theory for why some one would choose forced feminization because there are so many factors involved which can be both physical and psychological.

 

[PuppyMastersPet]

Not every cross-dresser or sissy is in chastity, not everyone in chastity participates in (for example) humiliation or water-sports or pony play... ad infinitum.

Chastity does help to make these activities seem more erotic though. As you can see from my pictures I was more than happy to be Masters pet dog and found it extremely erotic but that has a lot to do with denial. The hood helps a bit too .