"My Journey into Denial & Chastity..."

S&S_MISTRESS's boy toy

S&S_MISTRESS's boy toy

boy toy
Oct 15, 2008
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This is my first posting. I will post more soon including some background on myself and my girlfriend (S&S_MISTRESS).

This summary is intended to cover from October 17th to October 28th.

Part One:
After my last period of lock up in the CB, I had a vasectomy. Following a vasectomy, there are two required sperm count tests that must be done with the results of both tests coming back (0) sperm before the doctor officially declares you sterile. These tests are usually done 8 and 12 weeks after the surgery; however I had read that the delay for the first test is intended to flush any left over sperm from the ducts and that after approximately 15-20 orgasms, it should be safe to have the test. During the surgery, I asked the doctor about it and he confirmed it would be OK to do the test earlier than the 8 weeks as long as I had experiences more than about 15 orgasms.

After having surgery on September 19th and taking time to heal, I kept track of how many orgasms I experienced through JOing and wonderful sex with my girlfriend. By October 15th, I had exceeded the number recommended and submitted a sample for testing. During this months time, I thought about being locked up and at times found myself disappointed that I wasn't. I knew I had to complete the orgasms to be ready for the test, however, I wanted to be under control again. Being allowed to orgasm as much as you want may sound great to most people, but I found the ones reached during JOing to be more of a habit than pleasurable.

After turning in my sample and waiting for the results, I began talking with my girlfriend asking if she had thought about locking me up at all. She indicated she had been thinking about it and developing a plan. I was excited to hear that until she indicated her plan didn't begin until around Halloween weekend which was about another three weeks away. I was disappointed because I knew I would have to provide another sample only about 2 weeks later so it would be a denial period of about 2 weeks. October 19th was the six month anniversary of our first date, and she was planning on spending Saturday evening at my home. When she does this, she leaves between 2 and 3 am so technically this would be the 19th on our anniversary.

This got me thinking of a proposal but I wasn't sure I should mention it to her. The proposal was that if she locked me up before leaving, it would be six months till our one year anniversary. I kept thinking what a great celebration our anniversary would be after six continuous months of lockup. In reality though, considering we hadn't played for more than 7 or 8 days lock-up before, I doubted that would be a good idea so as an alternative, I thought it could start on the 19th and last till whenever her plan would have normally ended which just would have added a couple weeks to it. I still wasn't sure if I should mention my alternative plans or just wait for her plan to go into affect, but it was about all I could think of the days leading up to her visit.

In addition to this issue, her birthday had came and went earlier in the month. I had promised her a birthday spanking but she had been very sick and I let it slide. She also told me she didn't think I had it in me to be able to spank her even if it was a birthday spanking. Since she was feeling mostly better, I thought the visit on the 18th would be a good time to give it to her (IF I truly could go through with it... even I wasn't 100% confident I could).

On Saturday, we talked about a football game on tv that day while she was visiting. She was teasing that my team was going to lose, and since we had been talking about a "bet your ass" football bet recently, this led to a bet about the game. She was concerned about the fact of both the birthday spanking and the bet spanking, but was confident in her bet so the bet was on.

Shortly after her arrival, I loaded the spanking videos I have on the computer and had her watch them. I hoped watching them would make her hot as well as nervous with anticipation. At the end of the videos I tried to be assertive and gave her a speech. I basically told her that fantasizing about a spanking and experiencing one is two different things. Then I gave her an option... I told her I would give her 5 minutes to decide if she wanted to go through with it. I gave her detailed description of what my plan was for her spanking and instructions on what she was to do if she wanted to go through with it. I also told her if she didn't follow the instructions, then I would interpret it as her not wanting to go through with it and we wouldn't do it and cancel the bet.

She pushed the five minutes before beginning to follow my instructions. Even then I needed a few minutes to calm myself and prepare. I went and got the implements and thought about what I was going to do. I had decided I would give her 10 strokes with the ping pong paddle, the wooden spoon, the yardstick, and my hand. I know from experience that the paddle stings a lot, so I slowly gave her 10 on her jeans. She was required to count them and provide a sting rating from 1 to 10. I wanted to have them sting but not hurt badly so I was trying for 6s and 7s. For the wooden spoon, we removed her jeans. Again, 10 more with the spoon counted with a rating over her panties. In between strokes I spend a lot of time slowly rubbing her sweet ass as well as stroking her pussy. I was happy to find it wet but wasn't going to provide enough stimulation as to allow an orgasm. After a small break, I removed her panties and gave ten with the yardstick on her bare bottom. The yardstick was too long and turned out to be awkward to use. Then it was on to the last part... 10 with my hand on her bare bottom. I was actually surprised during this as it took more to get a 6 or 7 rating than I expected. It was fun, but I was getting worried it was too much for her. When finished with the birthday spanking, I pleasured her with my fingers and she experienced an intense orgasm which I think surprised us both.

The game had already started, but I set it up to record so when the birthday spanking was over, we began to watch the game from near the beginning (there was still no score). Her team was first to score a touchdown and extra point and I quickly found myself bare assed on knees and elbows getting 7 hard points with the ping pong paddle. Within only minutes I was getting 3 more after her team scored a field goal. Finally, my team scored a touchdown and extra point, and I gave her 7 on her bare ass with the paddle as well, but I'm sure it was no where near as hard as she had struck me. Within only a few minutes, her team scored again and I received 7 more hard swats with the paddle. Finally my team began to play as they should and came back to not only win the game but dominate the second half. The score ended 46-17. I had my 17 already and she had received 39. Other than the first 7, I gave hers with my hand. I was also aware of how many she had for her birthday and how many she had received up to then, so when it was time to receive the last 7 for points, and 46 more for losing the bet, I was very nervous. I even thought about calling it off, but she seemed intent on completing it. I gave her the rest and as it got longer, gave very light hits. I was also stroking her pussy and trying to keep her mind on pleasure rather than the pain. Finally the spanking was done (I don't think she could have taken much more) and I turned to completely pleasuring her. After she achieved an orgasm, she rode me to orgasm as well. :)

While recovering, we were talking. I was still thinking about telling her my thoughts about lock-up but wasn't sure. Finally I decided to explain but I wanted her to know whatever she wanted was OK and it was her decision. We talked about it and she seemed open and possibly interested, but didn't indicate what her decision would be. We looked at a chastity contract and price list we had been talking about and started making out. At some point, she indicated I would be locked up before she left. I immediately got hard and pointed it out to her so she could see how excited the idea made me. While feeling how hard I was, she said, "I should take care of this before locking you up... or maybe I should just lock it up." My mind was in turmoil thinking, "Oh please take care of it" and also thinking "lock it up and leave me frustrated." She decided she had to take advantage and we moved to the floor where she rode me to another nice orgasm. Unfortunately I was so excited I didn't last more than a couple minutes but it was very nice. We moved to the couch to rest for a few and since it was getting late, she told me I should go get cleaned up and install the CB. She asked if I needed help and I said no. I went upstairs and washed real good and lubed the CB. While waiting for the area to dry (it has to be completely dry when installed), I couldn't resist the urge and JO'ed again. Within a minute, I had a tremendous orgasm which surprised me considering it was the third for the night and 2nd within about 10 minutes. (This also let to recommending supervision when installing in the future.) I then installed the CB and went downstairs. I had the lock in place but not latched. My girlfriend (S&S_MISTRESS) clicked the lock and shook it to make sure it was secure. We got dressed and I walked her to her car.

That was about 2:30 am on October 19th. I have been locked up and denied since. In tomorrows post, I will discuss the first 9.5 days of lock-up. :)
 
Part Two

After she drove away with me waving goodbye while locked up, I was very satisfied and happy. I checked the living room to make sure all the evidence was put away and went to bed. I slept very well and since I had been well satisfied before lock-up experienced no frustration with being locked.

The next couple days we talked a lot and I tried to reassure her how happy I am that she chose not to wait. The one thing that bothered be though was not really knowing which option she had in mind as far as if this was going to last till around Christmas or until our one year anniversary in April 2009. I tried to explain this frustration to her but it didn't come out clearly and she thought I was just trying to find out what her week to week plans were. Another frustration I experienced what the discomfort that comes with wearing the CB after not having it on for a while. The sack tends to need time to get used to being extended all the time so it feels like its being pulled all the time. From past experiences, I knew this would go away so I didn't let it bother me much.

Throughout the week my thoughts were on what I thought she would do during this period. My expectations were that she would probably keep me locked up until sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and that during this time period, she would deny me orgasm and make me wait a couple weeks in between. I believed she was concerned about pushing me too far and frankly, I know she enjoys me penetrating her so I didn't expect her to use longer periods of denial. In my heart however, I was hoping she would deny me orgasm completely, with the exception of the second post vasectomy test, till the end of the period whether Christmas or if by some chance she choose our anniversary, then.

During the week she assigned me a task or researching and reading about the female body and how to best pleasure it orally as well as with fingers. She has never had complaints about my techniques or skills so I didn't take offense to it and looked at it as a way of her making me think about it and tease me. I was surprised as some of what I read and learned however. Some of the stuff I had done was based on reactions/responses from past partners and it contradicted what was recommended that most women enjoy. I looked forward to using some of the new techniques on my girlfriend when I say her that weekend.

During the week I also provided a list of things she could say or do that would tease me in a way I found hot and exciting. On a couple occasions, she made it a point to tell me she was horny and going to have to relieve some tension while I couldn't sense I was locked up. At least once during the week, she pleasured herself while I listened on the phone. VERY HOT and sexy !!! We also discussed our definitions of lock-up vs. denial to be sure we both had the same expectations. I think I spent a lot of time hinting about wanting to be completely denied during this period of lock-up because I didn't thinking she wanted to or planned to.

On Saturday prior to her weekly visit, I was given an email with instructions for the evening. Parts of it were cryptic because they would require oral instructions when the time was right. I really looked forward to our time together that night, but also knew since my son would be home, things would have to wait till he went to sleep. I also found myself expecting she would deny me; however, I wasn't confident of it. I was very curious if she could or would actually go through with it even though as I said, I did expect her to.

After she arrived, we watched some tv and went out to dinner with my son. While watching tv, she discretely touched and rubbed the CB a few times with her elbow. It was a nice reminder to me and I liked that. There was another football game on and we watched it as usual. Since my son was home there was no discussions about another bet. My son went to bed before the end of the game so when the game ended, we were finally able to start playing. :)

I had promised her a back and body massage earlier in the weeks so I started by asking if she was ready for it. She said she was so I put blankets down and got her some pillows. She laid down with all her clothes still on and I massages her for a few minutes. I was having a dilemma because her instructions was for me to strip her one article of clothing at a time and worship what was uncovered. I wasn't sure how to accomplish this while she was laying down, but after a few minutes she helped but getting up and guiding the process. After some hot kissing and making out, we removed her tee shirts and bra and I kissed and licked her neck to her waist. I was very hot to see her hot body again and I love the skin to skin contact. After several minutes I unbuttoned her sexy butt jeans (they show off her sexy butt very nicely !!) and with her help removed her jeans and sexy pale pink panties. I kissed and licked her legs, belly, and breasts some more before moving up to kiss her some more. I intentionally avoided direct contact with her pussy to cause some anticipation to build up. After a few minutes, she laid back down and I proceeded to spend about 15 to 20 minutes massaging her from neck to feet. I think she enjoyed it, and I know I did. A couple of times my cage touched her leg or rubbed against her. I liked that.

When the massage was done, I laid next to her and stroked her body. She rolled over on her back after a couple minutes and we kissed very hotly. I began to kiss and lick her breasts and started my hand toward her treasure area. Again, I didn't want to rush in, but I definitely wanted to try some of the techniques I had read about earlier in the week. She seemed to enjoy the new technique. It may have taken longer for her orgasm to arrive, but seemed to enjoy the feeling I was giving her. After a bit of recovery time, she was laying directly in front of me and began pleasuring herself as I watched. I watched very closely to try to learn more about what she finds pleasurable. It was very exciting for me to watch while locked-up and it was nice to be able to concentrate on her without the distraction of thinking about me receiving pleasure. After a bit, she indicated she wanted to use her vibe/dildo so I went and got it for her. Again, it was amazing to watch from the angle I had of her pleasuring herself with the vibe/dildo. I helped by holding her outer lips open which also allowed me a perfect view. I could even see her sexy clit pulsing as she climaxed. :)

By this time, it was after 2:00 am in the morning. I was fairly confident it was too late for her to decide to give me a release and I was happy and relieved about that since it meant she was able to actually do it. She mentioned it getting late and her needing to get dressed and leave for home. This was the moment I knew for sure she was definitely denying me an orgasm this weekend, and I knew it would be at least another week before I could possibly have another chance. Before getting dressed she very sexily teased me and played with me for a couple minutes. I can't really describe what she did, but it included using her mouth to tease my caged dick. IT WAS WONDERFUL !! Unfortunately, she abruptly stopped and got dressed. I dressed as well and when ready, walked her to her car and saw her off. I was hot and horny from our playing, but also relieved to know she was actually able to deny me. I was anxious to hear her thoughts and feelings about it later. I cleaned up the blankets and toys, and I went to bed.

On Sunday, we emailed, IMed, and talked on the phone throughout the day. She told me how she felt and I summarized how I felt. It was hard for her to deny me, and I tried to reassure her. There are some issues to be worked out, but some of them are growing pains as this is very new to both of us. We both know and understand that communicating is a key part of this and want to keep the communication going.

On Monday, we IMed before she went to work. In the IM she told me her plan is to keep me denied until Christmas time with the only exception being the second required post vasectomy test that still has to be done (basically 10 weeks). She was concerned about how I felt about this length of time being denied, but I tried to reassure her that I thought it was great. In fact, I was disappointed that the test is going to interfere which we both agree on but know it must be done. We also discussed an appropriate punishment should I achieve an unauthorized orgasm during a period of denial. It was agreed to that the punishment should be significant enough to deter the temptation and we agreed on one.

It was (and is) hard for me to believe she had planned to deny me for that long. I believe she intended to keep me locked up but never would have thought she would 'plan' to deny me. Her telling me this surprised me, but made me even more proud of her. After she left for work I send her an email of my rambling thoughts telling her what I thought and how excited I am that she planned to deny me the entire time.

Monday evening I typed Part One of this and sent it to her email after she went to bed. Today, Tuesday which is day 10 of lock-up and denial, she read Part One. She is understandably upset about learning that I JOed immediately prior to lock-up. I had not told her about it and she only learned of it in reading Part One. She feels I didn't follow her instructions and deserve punishment for such. I feel I shouldn't have done it without asking, but justified it in my mind as being ok at the time since she didn't tell me not to. Regardless of how I interpreted her instructions, I know I shouldn't have without permission and know my ass is going to pay a price for it. She hinted yesterday about wanting to spank me again, and now I've given her a reason to do it as a punishment. I expect this to be the most severe spanking I've received from her. Unfortunately, I don't expect it will be the last.
 
Background Info

Now you know where I am, I'll back up and provide some background info. Sorry the first two parts were so long.

I'm a 41 year old who has been divorced almost 4 years after a 13 year marriage. I have come to feel that I am very submissive in general, but especially to my female partners in the bedroom. This comes from feelings of inadequacy in size, skill, and experience. In the past 10 years or so, I developed a wife sharing or cuckold fetish. As my sex life with my ex wasn't so good, I resorted to porn and self gratification. It was during this time, that I stumbled into the concept of denial and chastity.

The first time I saw a CB-2000, I was intrigued. In many of the cuckold stories I had read, I read about husbands being kept in chastity while their wives were with lovers. It definitely fit my submissive and cuckold nature and became another fetish. My ex was almost completely vanilla when it came to sex so I didn't dare to mention it to her. After our separation and divorce though, I dated a little but due to shyness, dates were few. Once again I relied on porn and self gratification to take care of my needs. Approximately a year ago, I decided I wanted to see what it would be like to be locked up, and after some research decided on the CB-2000. It was relatively inexpensive so if I didn't like it or use it, I wouldn't be wasting a lot of money. I also read that for men of smaller sized, the CB-2000 is better sized. (I can only imagine how foolish I would look in a CB-6000 and coming no where close to filling it.)

After I received the CB-2000 in the mail, I was excited to try it on and wear it. I was amazed at how good it felt without any adjustments and even wore it about 24 hours the first time. After about a day, I had to remove it and do some adjustments due to soreness and chaffing, but over the next few weeks found the combo that seems to work for three or four days at a time. Being self-controlled is difficult and I found it too easy to unlock it to JO. I decided I was going to be disciplined and see how long I could go without cheating. I was doing well (in my opinion) until on day 13, I edged too far and made a mess inside the cage. At that point, I removed it for cleaning and decided not to put it back on. I was disappointed in my self control and figured if I could still achieve orgasm while wearing it, why bother. I only put it on a couple times after that and each time chaffed quickly and badly, so it sat in its hiding spot for many months.

In the meantime, I met and started dating a wonderful woman who would become my girlfriend and MISTRESS. She was so open about sex and sexuality, I slowly began to open up and tell her about my fetishes. I told her about my wife swapping fetish as well as a spanking fetish, but didn't tell her about the denial and chastity fetish initially. In mid August, while discussing ways to incorporate spanking and discipline into our relationship, she suggested an option that I found truly exciting. In the process of working out the details I was so hot and excited, that I confessed to her that I had difficulty sleeping that night and woke up every few hours and had to JO. She thought it was funny and said something to the affect of, "You need to learn some control." I was so worked up still, I decided this might be the perfect time to mention chastity, so I responded, "I have no control and need help with that." She didn't know what I meant but after a minute I asked if she had heard of male chastity or a CB-2000. She said she hadn't so I asked her to do a Google photo search for CB-2000. After seeing a photo of one, her initial response was that it looked like torture. I assured her it wasn't torture and confessed to owning one and having worn it some in the past. She seemed unsure about it but definitely curious about it.

We were planning to get together that weekend and I asked her if she would like to experiment and lock me up and take control before she left. Again, she was interested but hesitant, and said she needed to think about it. I asked her about it as I anxiously awaited her decision, and answered all her questions until on Friday morning I received and email that said in part, "I wanted to write back to you about the CB we talked about. I am thinking you will need to put in on before I leave Sunday so I can have the key. I will not tell you my plans after that, and you will have to follow instructions after that point." Needless to say, I was extremely happy and excited by her response.

That weekend visit was like no other. Unexpected to her, I wanted to experience my first spanking and developed a plan. I wanted to see if she would really do it and experience it as well. My welted and marked ass proved that she definitely would and could do it. Just prior to leaving at the end of the weekend, she told me it was time to go install the CB and bring her "her keys" so I happily did. When she left, my ass was sore and well marked and "her dick" was securely locked away. During the week we talked a lot about what happened and how we felt about everything. In my opinion, the communication is so important and helped us deal with little issues that arise when experimenting.

On the next visit the following weekend, after pleasing her she unlocked the CB and we had wonderful, exciting sex. It was great !! I was not asked to lock up before she left, and again, we communicated about how we felt about our first experiment. It seemed we were both happy with it and looking forward to future opportunities. In the middle of the week, I found an email from her saying, "Well since today is a beautiful day, I decided that before the hour of 10 am today you will go put on your CB for the weekend. Before you do that feel free to JO if needed, but the rest is mine." It was unexpected, but I happily complied. Again I was locked up till the weekend when after pleasing her, she unlocked me and we had mind warping sex. :) I also experienced my second spanking from her this weekend before she left.

The following week, I received detailed instructions on preparing for and what was expected during her visit. In part it said, "After I leave for the night or when I am done with you, you will lock yourself up in the CB." I acknowledged her instructions happily but explained there is something symbolic about her actually locking the lock on the device and asked if she would do that. She agreed and just prior to leaving, did just that. I was locked until her visit the following weekend. This was the last denial and lockup prior to the vasectomy written about it Part One's posting. Until with started the most recent one, the longest MISTRESS has had me locked up was 8 days, but today is day 12.

My girlfriend is my MISTRESS. I introduced her to this site and we are both registered members here (she is S&S_MISTRESS). She is very new to this and until only a couple months ago, hadn't really thought about being dominate and in control of another so we are both on a learning journey. We decided to post our journey here to share with others, but also to possibly get feedback and suggestions. S&S_MISTRESS intends to read all and posts. She's a little shy about posting, but with encouragement, I'm sure she will. This should bring you up-to-date with our journey. Feel free to comment, ask questions, or even offer suggestions.
 
I would just like to Welcome you and your Mistress, I am very happy to hear we have yet another Woman on the site!! So many sites are full of subbies and sissys but lacking in the Mistress department. This site is a super exception! All Women from the very novice to the experienced enjoy thier time here and I am sure your Mistress will as well.
Welcome, and enjoy. Love your post.

Mistress Michelle :sex020:
 
Thank you Mistress Michelle

Thank you for the welcome Mistress Michelle. I have been a lurker here for a couple weeks and see you are right. It does seem many subs have difficulties finding a Mistress and/or keyholder.

I had to laugh when I saw this under your avatar:

Last Orgasm On:
Everyday I want!!!

S&S_MISTRESS could borrow that. :)
 
I want to introduce myself. I am a 38 year old newbie MISTRESS. How I got this way is something that fell into my lap. I always looked at myself as an assertive person and not taking crap form anyone on a daily basis. But for some reason when it came to sex I always found myself in the position of being afraid to ask for things I might like and many times walked away feeling unsatisfied. In my past relationships, it even got to the point where he may be done but I was not and had to continue things to finish my urge to be satisfied. Many times this was done without him.



I have been divorced for 8 years now and during that time my focus was else where and I did not date anyone during that time or have sex – yes I did take care of myself. I had to! About a year ago I decided it was time to start dating again. I received a lot of encouragement from family and friends, but it always came down to, “What do I want?” It took some time and soul searching. After some trial and errors I met my boyfriend who you all know as S&S_MISTRESS'S boy toy.



From reading his posts you will have discovered how the topic came about. From my side I never could have possibly imagined this even happening – especially not to this degree. But through my soul searching I discovered that I want someone who will take care of me and put my needs first. I want to feel the feeling of being his one and only everything and having him do anything for me to make me happy and satisfied. That is something I have found and yes I enjoy every minute of it.



As I said, this is all new to me and I also look forward to reading comments and questions as well as suggestions I can use in the future.
 
Welcome to the site both of you, but especially S&S Mistress.

We have a growing base of Dommes here from completely inexperienced to learning the ropes to in complete control.

I hope you both will enjoy your stay here, and I look forward to catching up with you both. :animal0008:
 
Summary of Days 11-15

In the past few days leading up to MISTRESS's Saturday visit, we did a lot ot talking about how we each thought things were going. It came out that MISTRESS was battling a dilemma in that on one hand she enjoyed the control, lockup, and denial, but missed the close feelings we receive when she uses her toy. On the other hand, she wants to do right by me and believed I want long term denial. This was causing an internal battle in which she was feeling denying me was also denying her, but not denying would be a disappointment to me. She also stated she wasn't sure what the payoff was yet.

I explained my feelings which are that I'm excited about her having control. I explained I would like to try long term in order to experience the phases it brings, but don't think it's something I want to experience all the time and it doesn't have to be now. I also explained that considering the longest we had gone in the previous play was about 8 days, the idea of approximately 10 weeks of total denial may have been over zealous. I reminded her that this was our first lockup period of longer than about a week, and should be used so we can try different things and see what works for us. I further explained that we don't have to (and shouldn't expect to) have everything go perfectly this first time. I also reminded her that it was my suggestion to start earlier than she had planned and didn't even know what her plan was at the time and I was (and am) excited about it. I told MISTRESS that I was OK with whatever she decided. She said she just wanted something we both could be happy with and after some additional discussion I believe we came up with something she was more comfortable with. I was happy with where things ended up, but it left me unsure what her Saturday visit would bring.

On Saturday, Day 14, I received my pre-visit instructions as usual. It was specifically vague so she could include elements of surprise. Unfortunately, "life" interrupted in a couple ways. First, MISTRESS's monthly curse as she calls it started Friday night which limits activity. Second, my son who was scheduled to be with his mother for the weekend, told me Saturday morning he wasn't going because his mom has been sick. I notified MISTRESS immediately so she was aware and could alter her plans.

Upon her arrival, we both seemed uncertain how things would play out but as always, we enjoyed our time together. My son wanted to go to a post-Halloween party at a friend's house so we dropped him off giving us a couple hours to ourselves. After a bit of alone time, she asked about my release and cleaning. I said whenever she wanted. We decided to do it then. It felt weird to be supervised after being unlocked and allowed to shower and clean the CB. While it felt weird, it also felt good too. After cleaning and showering, I was allowed to be free knowing that before she left I would be locked again.

We watched television and made out some till it was time to pickup my son. After returning, we watched more television until after he went to bed. During this time, she fell asleep and napped on the couch next to me. I wanted nothing more than to lie next to her and hold her in my arms while she slept, but there isn't room. Around 12:30 am Sunday morning, I realized it was getting late and considered installing the CB. I decided not to because I wanted it to be her choice and direction (as well as not wanting to be tempted to JO). A short time later she awoke and asked for the back rub I had promised. I happily got out the stuff and proceeded to give her a nice back rub working out the stress in her muscles.

When finished we moved to the couch and kissed and made out. She was teasing her toy and wanted some pleasure as well. I caressed her topless body as we made out and she guided my hands to her wonderful breasts. She helped show me how she enjoyed it best and I enjoyed that. I knew it was possible that she may allow me orgasm but wasn't sure. About 2:00 am, she told me, "You are not allowed to finish no matter what I do. If you feel you are getting close, you MUST tell me." I responded, "I understand."

She proceeded to kiss and lick my neck and chest working her way down. She quickly licked me and began sucking me. It was heaven !! After 14 days of complete lock-up, I was shocked I didn't orgasm immediately. After a couple minutes I started feeling some tingling, but managed to hold off until she decided she was finished and said, "Since its getting late, its time to get this locked back up. Come on bt." After a few seconds, she took my hand and I led her to my bathroom so she could supervise the installation without me cheating. I lubricated the CB and installed it, and she installed and locked the lock. After shaking the lock to ensure it was secure, I got dressed and when she was ready, walked her to her car. I was still highly aroused and just wanted her. We kissed and hugged and kissed some more. I even whispered to her that I wanted her so badly, but I was also very happy that she was denying me. I think this was when we both started seeing the payout of this kind of play.

I went to bed, but it was hard to get to sleep still aroused in the CB. I was also still a bit surprised, yet happy that she had denied me considering the discussions we had during the previous days. I was hoping she would deny me though because I didn't think it was fair for me to get an orgasm when she wouldn't be able to.

We talked about it today and now she has an insight into the payoffs, she is rethinking if she wants to push it or not. While I have felt sexually frustrated and found myself asking why I would possibly want to give up the freedom and control, I have not even considered changing anything with my MISTRESS.
 
This week, we did a lot of
talking about how we each thought things were going. I was struggling
with concept of the control, lockup, and denial. While I am enjoying it, at the same time I miss
the close feelings I get during intercourse. This was causing an
internal struggle in which I was feeling that by denying him I was also denying
myself. We also talked about the payoff of it and that has not been seen
yet. My boy toy (bt) explained his feelings on the matter and I realized
we are on a learning curve at best. Since this is our first lockup
period of longer than a week, we can try different things and see
what works for us. We should not expect to have everything go perfectly
this first time. I was reassured that it was ok with what I
decided. I want something we both could be happy with.

With that said I was looking
forward to my visit with my bt on Saturday,
and even planned out what I wanted and was ready to send it out before I got
there for the night. That is, until Friday when my monthly curse decided to
show up! Really bad timing!! Throw a monkey wrench in to it. So I had to think
things through and take stuff out etc... Eventually came up with some ideas and
sent them out Saturday morning.
Shortly after I received an email from my bt that is his son was not going to
his mothers for the weekend. SHIT!! Another change in plans. The short notice
made me scrap my second plans and at this point was going to have to wing it! I
wanted to make cleaning the cb a first priority and had to include it some
where.

When I got to bt's house I was
informed that his son was going to a party and it would give us a chance to
have a little time to ourselves. During this time we managed to clean the cb
which required supervision on my part. That I enjoyed! I had planned on doing
something else but because of my lack of energy I had to scrap that too. Next
time! Later that night we were watching TV and I fell asleep. I guess I needed
it. LOL After waking up I realized it was late and had to lock bt back up
again. So I asked for my back massage that was promised to help relax me and
finish my thought process. Well it worked and I was able to do that. I needed
to have some fun and deal with the curse at the same time. HMMM! What a better
time than too teach my bt how I like play time with my breasts. And at the
same time tease the crap out of him.

I did surprise myself
when I decided that was enough and bt had to be locked up. The feeling of it
was cool! To realize I was being denied because of the curse it would have not
been fair if he was to finish. So I told him not too. The response from him was
awesome. After that I told bt that it was enough and he had to be locked up
again. After lock up bt told me that he wanted me badly, this made my heart
soar high. I could not be any happier than to hear that from him, and then to
feel it. Almost made me high and has motivated my reasons for it and what I
want. I totally floated home and could not help but think about nothing else.
Even took a while to fall asleep and managed to wake up with a smile on my
face. Maybe I am starting to understand the power behind it all.
 
I'd like to add my welcome-to-the-group, to you, S&S Mistress and to S&S Mistress' boy toy. It would be wonderful to have either of you, but it's so much better to have both halves of an alternative relationship, particularly an emerging one.

This is such a great start to what is already an instructive and inspirational thread. I hope you're both able to keep us updated.

Kinkish1
 
Days 16-20

Thank you to everyone taking the time to read and reply to our blog. We look forward to hearing your comments.

On day 16. I awoke better than usual, probably due to the recent time change, but it didn't take long to realize I was feeling horny... hornier than normal !! When I IMed with MISTRESS, I told her how I was feeling. First, I feel on edge in the sense that it would take very little to push me over the edge and orgasming... even while in the cage. If I wasn't locked and was alone, I'd likely JO three or four times to really feel satisfied. If MISTRESS was here, I would attempt to pleasure her with the hopes she would unlock me. I had to try to think about something else to lower the tension. I even thought about the punishment we agreed to that I would receive for an unauthorized orgasm in an attempt to calm the edge I was feeling.

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), life interrupted and the tension and need was gone. Since then, there has been little urge. Today, which is day 20, I'm getting excited about MISTRESS's weekend plans. As usual, she hasn't shared with me her plans but I know she has been working on an email of instructions to send to me Saturday morning. I always have an anxious time waiting for the email; both looking forward to it which is exciting, and also just waiting for it is very frustrating. Listening to her pleasure herself on the phone last night may have helped build my excitement for the weekend too. :)

As I've said before, with or without the tease, denial, and chastity, I enjoy the time we spend together so I'm really looking forward to our time together this weekend. I have no idea what plans she may have and it doesn't even matter... I just look forward to seeing and holding her again...
 
The weekend

On Friday I ordered the book, "Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders." I have never read it, but have seen it mentioned several times for newbies. I showed it to MISTRESS online and she also seems interested in reading it. After ordering it, I am anxious to receive it and read it.

I awoke Saturday (day 21) earlier than normal anxious to read MISTRESS's instructions. In short, they indicated since I have been denied, locked up, and completed all assignments, I was to be rewarded during her visit. MISTRESS was planning to spend the night (YAY) and indicated she wanted to experience six orgasms before she left Sunday. If I achieved her goal, I would receive a ruined orgasm.

I was both excited and anxious about her visit, and couldn't wait for her to arrive. We knew my son was going to be here so it limits the alone time we have. After he went to bed, we began to make out and her clothes began to come off. Until then, I would try to get some touching in on the sly without being seen, but once the clothes started coming off and we started making out, I suggesting going to bed. I needed to shower and clean still, so MISTRESS unlocked the CB and supervised the shower. I like to shave the area where the ring goes but was nervous about doing this while being supervised. After contemplating it I decided I had no choice but to do it anyway so I did.

When finished we went to bed. I tried to combine some of the new techniques from last week along with some old as well. She seemed to be enjoying it and experienced an orgasm. After some recovery I continued pleasuring her. Just as my arm was about to cramp in fatigue, she reached a second orgasm. I decided it was time for a break and was surprised by her next actions. MISTRESS went down on me licking and sucking until I was erect. It felt wonderful, but all to soon she quit. She moved up so she was laying on top of me and told me I was not allowed to finish. I said OK and she slid down on my erection. The first time in 21 days I felt her warm wet spot and it felt very good. As it stroked in and out of her getting used to the penetration, I found it very difficult to resist finishing. In fact, I had to ask her to slow down and stop after a very short time. After I gained some confidence in having some control, she began to ride "her meat." Before I started feeling I was going to lose control, she abruptly got off me and laid next to me. That was all the pleasure I was going to receive that night. It was frustrating, but as we lay kissing and making out, I was surprised that her denial had actually causes me to become even harder than I was when she was riding me. I wanted so much to climb on her and continue, but I also knew I would have finished and been in trouble. After calming down I asked her what she'd like to now. She said she didn't know so I suggested a drink. After a cold drink, I held her in my arms and she quickly fell asleep.

I awoke Sunday morning needing to use the restroom. Upon returning and determining she was mostly awake, I began to play again to provide her more pleasure. After a bit, we brought out the toy and I used it on her until she reached an orgasm. She took it from me indicating I had to stop. I didn't understand why at the time, but now know it caused her to have a bad headache. After a little recovery, she again brought me to an erection and allowed me to penetrate her. Again, it felt wonderful and during the first moment was very difficult to resist finishing. I tried to slow her down again, but she still continued. It's important to note here, that she had not told me I could finish nor that I could not. In my mind, I knew we hadn't achieved her goal of six orgasms so I was still trying to resist. When she didn't slow down and stop as I was asking, I quickly became aware I wouldn't be able to resist any longer. I lifted her off with the intent to prevent finishing, but that simply pushed me over the edge. Without any further touching, I spurted in a ruined orgasm. I won't lie and say it was horrible because after 21 days, it did feel good, but wasn't as good as a normal orgasm would have been. I was also worried I was in trouble for finishing since she hadn't told me it was OK. Thankfully she laughed and my frustration of the ruined orgasm and I knew it was OK.

After recovering, we went about our morning. Prior to her leaving she told me privately that she needed to lock me up soon. When she announced she had to get her stuff from my room, I offered to assist her. We took advantage of the time and I installed the CB. It was a cool morning and things were shrunken so it took a little extra effort, but before long MISTRESS installed and clicked the lock shut. I love seeing the smile on her face as she's doing it. A few minutes later it was time for her to leave. As always, it's going to seem like a long week before we see each other again.

In the 21 days prior to being allowed a ruined orgasm, MISTRESS had received 25 orgasms. Technically, today is day 1 again for me, yet I still want to log how long before I'm allowed complete satisfaction. All I know at this point, is I shouldn't expect that till December 27th which is nearly seven weeks away. Hmmmm......
 
This week was a little odd to say the least. I had some life stuff come
up which made things off. It put a damper on the mood in the game.
After going to a Dr.'s appointment I was put on some medication to
improve a medical condition. I have a problem with side affects of many
drugs and am allergic to several. So my fear became overwhelming at
several times.But decided to stay on them and give them a try not
expecting the outcome. I was looking forward the the weekend with my
boy toy. I emailed him on Saturday with my instructions. I decided that
after 3 weeks of denial, lock up and that fact that he followed through
with tasks that i asked him to do, I would reward him.
Since I was able to spend the night with him i decided he had to give me six
orgasms before I left on Sunday and after that was done I would allow
him to have one and only one ruined orgasm. Well that was my plan.
Unfortunately the side affects of the medication got in the way. It
took me longer than usual to have an orgasm and one of them caused a
headache that made me wish my head would explode.
(Wouldn't it be funny to hear him explain that to the investigators?
She had an orgasm and her head exploded... really officer. LOL)
But needless to say I had a hard time just getting to three,
and it wasn't his fault that I had to ask him to stop. It sucked for me, but next time, I will lower my
count. I also decided because of that I would let my boy toy
off the hook for six and reward him by giving him a ruined orgasm. I did owe it
to him for his good behavior. I was amazed at how willing he was to
receive it at the time. I would have held his hands down if I had too,
that would have been fun. And I all could do was laugh at the time
because it felt really good being able to have that power to do that.
And I enjoyed every minute of it! What a turn on! LOL!
 
Summary of week and weekend

Hmmm. Where do I start? I'm not even sure. LOL

During the week, things were basically very normal. While last weekends ruined orgasm left me wanting more, it also sated my frustration level for a few days. As the week progressed I found my desire level to be with my MISTRESS to be increasing. I wasn't feeling I needed an orgasm, but definitely needed to spend time with her. We had plans to spend Saturday morning and afternoon together with our children but the weather caused that to be cancelled.

On Saturday morning as is tradition, I received an email with my instructions for the day and her visit. In part it said:

"You will be giving me a 20-30 minute back massage after you remove my clothes from my body, one layer at a time. You will be required to give me a minimum of two orgasms before I leave for the night. One of them will be done orally. You may use any methods or tools at your disposal to achieve both of them. BTW you will not be unlocked during this time."

After seeing my instructions, I was both excited and a bit disappointed. I wasn't expecting an orgasm after the privilege of having a ruined orgasm the previous visit, but I was looking forward to feeling her touching me while unlocked. I mentioned this to her and she said, "You never know, I could change my mind." Even then, I didn't expect it.

I was checking the mail as she arrived and found the book we had ordered ("Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders") had arrived. I was excited about this as we were looking forward to reading it. I hid it in my bedroom without my son knowing but had to find an excuse to invite her to my room to show her the book and other adult toy I had ordered at her direction. At about 7:30 I found the excuse needed and we went up to my room.

In the privacy of my room I showed her the book and toy. I could hardly keep my hands off her and before I knew it, I had her pants open and my hand found her very hot and wet pussy. Within what seemed like only a minute (but was probably 5) she experienced what seemed like a pleasurable orgasm. We were standing and I held her tightly as she seems unsteady. When she was steady on her feet again, I couldn't help but want to taste her so I sucked her juices off my fingers. Hmmm... YUM !!

We returned to the living room and whenever possible I would give her a secret caress. Touching her intimately as I felt I could never get enough. A little while after my son went to bed I suggested getting the new book and reading some of it together which she agreed to. While she read it, I again couldn't help but caress and rub her. After a bit I worked her jeans open and gently caressed her sweet pussy. I tried not to do it so much that it distracted her away from reading but I did notice her breathing and reading rate changed a few times. At the end of Section One of the book she had read enough. Now the nights real fun was about to start but it turned out in a way I never expected. In fact, the events were so exciting and pleasurable that the details of the evening are clouded in my memory. I couldn't recall the exact order of events now if I had too.

In short though, I was able to bring her to another orgasm orally and using my hand. She also decided to uncage "her meat" and have some fun with it. She told me as she was doing it that it did not mean I was allow orgasm and I would not be allowed to have one so if I started to get close, I was to warn her. She also said if I had an orgasm I would be in trouble. She rubbed and sucked me until I was hard and climbed on top of me. She worked it inside of her as I fought the urge to orgasm. In what seemed like only 15 seconds, she pulled away and said, "That's enough of that I guess." My mind was screaming, "WTF??? Not already !!!" as I moaned in frustration. Little did I know that for the next couple hours, this would happen several times. Sometimes she would stroke or suck me till I was nice and hard and then stop. Other times she would get me hard, mount me for a minute or so and then climb off. At one point, I was so filled with desire I climbed on her and rubbed it at her entrance. I didn't go further because I was so worked up, I would have finished and been in trouble.

I calmed enough that I was able to give her a back massage. Prior to adding the oil I worshipped her body kissing and licking every inch from her neck to her feet. As I said, I couldn't get enough of touching her and giving her a back rub is as enjoyable for me as it is her.

One final time, she sucked me hard and had me lay down and she climbed on top of me. This time she allowed me to stroke in and out of her and feel the wonderful sensation of her. Just as I was about to tell her I was close, she climbed off again (very good timing). After a bit of a cool down, she said it was time to lock it up again as it was getting late. I offered to let her install it but she was afraid of hurting me so I installed the ring. She then installed the spacers and cage, and then clicked the lock shut. We laid together and as I held her she proceeded to pleasure herself as I watched (VERY exciting for me to watch) to "give me something to think about for the week ahead."

After she reached another orgasm, she fed me her wet fingers to lick and clean. We kissed for a while as we calmed down before it was time to get dressed and for her to go home. I walked her to her car and saw her off. While I wasn't allowed to have an orgasm, it was definitely a mind blowing experience, and I believe we were both very happy with the way things worked out.
 
Well this week was a normal week as far as life goes. The headaches when I orgasm seem to have stopped, but it does seem to take a lot longer to orgasm than it did before. So unfortunately I have to limit myself to how many I have when I am with my boy toy. I do not want us to get to the brink of insanity. LOL All week I was thinking where my limit was going to be because of it and how to incorporate it in my plans. But I was able to do that and write my instructions on Saturday for my boy toy. I was looking forward to spending time with him.
We had made plans to go out for the day but because of a wash out with the rain things got changed the night before. Oh well! I arrived at boy toy’s house around 3 pm. We had talked about the fact that I was not going to unlock him while I was there but I could always change my mind; I can do that! That made things interesting to me. I found every chance we had alone he would try to tease me into being unlocked. Hey I do not mind getting felt up! What girl doesn't? LOL We had also made two purchases online during the week which was waiting for us in his bedroom. Because his son was watching tv with us at the time my boy toy was very creative in giving us an excuse to go upstairs and be alone for a few minutes. That is where our night began.
One of the items we bought was a book on chastity which I was looking forward to reading when I could. We even decided to read it together out loud. The other item we got was a new adult toy. My boy toy was excited about it and wanted me to use it right then and there. But I decided not this time… it will have to wait. Then it got interesting! My boy toy hugged me from behind and it started to get a little hot and heavy. Before I knew it his hand was down the front of my pants and was quickly bringing me to orgasm. Damn, it did not take long before I had to collapse into his arms because I could not stand anymore. Talk about weak in the knees. LOL It was something I was not expecting which made me horny and wanting to unlock my boy toy for playtime later.
Later that evening when we were alone we decided to start reading the book we got. I started to read it aloud to my boy toy in case there were things we wanted to stop and talk about. I think we got through the first section before we had to stop for playtime. Not sure if reading made me horny or the earlier event... none the less things started to get playful again and I found myself unlocking boy toy's cb for a while. What better way to get my meat craving? LOL! Just as long as he did not finish, what was the harm? I never could have expected the one moment that followed.
There was a brief but intense look boy toy had on his face… one of those that I could read and feel at the same time. The look of love and worship on his face was priceless to me. I could see what he felt for me on his face and in his eyes. All I could do was soak in that feeling which made my heart melt. I guess that was the point we were trying to get too with our denial and teasing of sex. For me it was such a turn on knowing my boy toy loved me and adored me. How could I not appreciate that? I had to reward him a little and let him feel inside me on and off for the rest of the night never allowing him to finish of course. LOL When I was done I had to lock him back up in hopes that he understands the privilege it is to be inside me.

 
I'm so pleased to have you both here... you have my sense of humour!!!

I'm glad you're enjoying the book. I always mean to re-read it and post a review here in the Library - maybe you'll beat me to it!

Thank you for posting your journey for us to share... here's hoping it remains a horny and happy one! :animal0008:
 
Weeks Summary 11/23/08

This week was unusual in some ways. During the week, leading up to the first weekend in the past several weeks when MISTRESS and I would be alone, we were both excited about our time together. It was obvious MISTRESS had spent significant time thinking and planning our time together. I received special instructions on Monday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday of assignments to be completed for her visit.

One of the obstacles MISTRESS had to plan around was my son and I having an appointment with a dermatologist on Thursday in which I would have to be unlocked. Because of this, we decided the second post vasectomy test should be done on the same day while unlocked anyway. MISTRESS couldn't be here to unlock me so we agreed that on Thursday morning she would email me the location of the spare key. I would then be able to unlock myself and do what had to be done, and lock myself back up. We had also previously had an envelope with her signature on it in which I would seal the key after lockup.

The email arrived with instructions indicating I was only to do what was required and nothing else. I wasn't really looking forward to doing it anyway since MISTRESS couldn't be here, but it had to be done. I did as required and as soon as possible after, I reinstalled the CB, sealed the key in the envelope, and emailed MISTRESS that everything was done and I was once again secure. I also experienced several days of anxiety regarding an issue with my employment which came to an end on Friday morning. These issues created strange feelings in me that I am having a difficult time understanding.

Saturday came and I received my instructions for MISTRESS's visit. One significant fact from the instructions stated, "I decided to reward you for your good behavior in doing your test this week and being a good boy about it. You will be allowed to orgasm once ( ruined of course) and only once while I am there. So you will have to tell me when you get close and I will decide when I will allow you to do it. It will be the last one till Dec. 27th. For me I will have as many as I feel like. LOL"

Based on my assignments during the week I had worked out a scenario of what I thought MISTRESS's plans included. It was very similar to MISTRESS's instructions; however, in my scenario I was allowed to have as many orgasms as I could before being locked and denied until Dec. 27th (5 weeks). Being informed I would be allowed only a ruined orgasm was a bit disappointing but it might have been from my leftover mood as well. Again, I'm not really sure why I was feeling the way I was. After all, wasn't it me that was excited 5 weeks ago to find out that she intended to deny me the entire 10 weeks I was to be locked?

Mistress arrived on Saturday and as usual we were happy to be together. Shortly after her arrival, we started watching a college football game that we had bet on. Shortly after the game started, her team was behind and I decided to see if I could negotiate a change of terms. She asked what I had in mind and I offered cancelling the bet completely if I was to be allow to orgasm as much as I could before we went to sleep for the evening. She agreed relatively quickly and easily. It's a good thing because my team ended up winning easily. LOL I was surprised however that there wasn't more negotiation before agreeing though, but needless to say, I had won.

After a nice dinner and the end of the game, we watched some other television for a while. Then it was time for some fun. We went upstairs and I took the candles to the bathroom and drew her a bath. While the water was running, I slowly removed her clothing as we kissed and made out. My fingers found a very hot and wet spot that I continued to pleasure until she achieved an orgasm. YAY !! After she recovered, she entered the bath to relax. I had the towels in the drier and ran downstairs to turn it on before returning to her. After a bit she asked if I would join her and after a brief discussion I agreed. I ran to get a towel for me and returned. We sat in the bubble bath for a bit until she wanted to get out. I told her to wait as I got out and dried off. I then ran down to the drier and brought a nice warm towel back and used it to dry her off. I think she was pleased with my planning the warm towel.

We returned to watch more television. During one of the shows she fell asleep on me. I enjoy the closeness when this happens and let her sleep until her phone indicated she had received a message and I assumed it was from one of her children. It was getting fairly late so I suggested going up to bed and she agreed. After some making out, I proceeded to orally please her. After a bit, we got the vibe out and I encouraged her to use the vibe on her clit while I penetrated her with my fingers. I believe she had two more orgasms during this time.

After a brief recovery time, MISTRESS orally stimulated me to get me aroused and then climbed on. She rode me until I could hold out no longer and I achieved the first full orgasm since lockup five weeks ago. It definitely felt good !! We both had to get up early Sunday so I didn't want us to stay up too late. We cuddled while we recovered and went to sleep for the night. I went to sleep after one full orgasm knowing it would be 5 weeks before I'm allowed another orgasm and wondering why I hadn't made more use of the unlimited orgasms we had agreed to when we negotiated cancelling the football bet. I still don't really understand that other than the stress of the past few days.

I awoke Sunday morning as MISTRESS placed her cold feet on me to wake me. I'm not much of a morning person, but she was able to wake me. LOL Brrrrrr. She proceeded to tease me as I woke and stimulated me to get me aroused. When I was ready she climbed on and rode me. It felt very good as usual and I quickly was telling her, "I'm going to cum." She rode me for a couple more seconds and pulled off, grabbed my hands and held them down, as I experienced a ruined orgasm. It provides me with pleasure, but also some frustration as she laughed and said, "I promised you a ruined orgasm and there you go."

We had plans to take the kids to a sporting event on Sunday. She mentioned needing to lock me up and I requested being allowed to lockup upon returning if I promised to be good. I explained I was worried about using a port-a-potty in temperatures near freezing while being locked up, and she agreed. Other than being cold most of the time, we had a nice day. On the way home, we stopped at her house to drop her and her child off and before I left she reminded me about being good and locking up when I got home. I promised I would be good and do it later when I could.

Again, for reasons I can't explain, I really didn't want to be locked up right away but was more than willing to be good. When I got home I took care of some things I had to do but put off installing the CB until about 8:00 pm. I was still reluctant, but knew it was time. I sent her an email to let her know all was secure. She asked if I had been good and I responded, "of course." Later when we talked on the phone, I admitted I was very reluctant for some reason and did put it off. She asked why and I couldn't really answer because I wasn't even sure. All I knew was that it felt good to not have to feel the discomfort of being locked up for while. I also think it still had to do with the way I was feeling but don't really understand it.

While it was a bit of an unusual week and weekend, I believe it was still a good weekend. To summarize, I was locked up 24/7 for 5 weeks with only a few brief releases. During this time, I was provided two ruined orgasms, a orgasm for the post vasectomy test, and one full orgasm, and I have been told already that I will not have another of any until Dec. 27th. I also have a writing assignment due Thursday in which I am to describe in detail how I would like the December 27th goal release to go.
 
Reply to Mistress Watchful...

Thank you for stopping by and leaving a message. I know my postings are typically much longer than other peoples and it takes longer to read. I really appreciate the comments and we both hope more people will comment, ask questions, or offer suggestions. This is a great site and I'm glad it's available to us all. I was a lurker for a while before I finally started posting. I hope our story leads to others posting as well.

boy toy
 
This week we had a time where my boy toy (bt) had to be unlocked for a period of time on Thursday. I did not have a problem with it as long as he did what was planned. And that he did, which made things go well for him. I decided he should be rewarded for his good behavior. I was looking forward to spending some time with my bt on Saturday. We had a chance for some alone time together and was planning on using that time. I had asked my bt to do some projects before my arrival on Saturday for the night and was happy that things were done. Before I got there on Saturday we discussed a "Bet your ass" bet with a college football game. It gets interesting and is very enjoyable to me. But for some reason my bt offered a trade for the bet. I think it was after he saw I would have lost the bet after seeing the way the teams were playing. But I decided to take him up on his offer.
We were able to spend some nice time together. It also included a nice hot bath to help me relax. Plus it seemed like I was chilled to the bone with the weather lately so why not. LOL My bt was a little creative in this which I enjoyed. The fact that he took his time removing my clothes and finding his way to bring me to an orgasm. Nice! But I have to say the best part was the warm towel after my bath; that was a nice touch. Maybe there is hope for my bt yet. LOL
After my bath we watched tv for a while and I managed to fall asleep on the sofa again. Lately I have been so tired because I have not been sleeping well. Not sure why but it is getting to me and hope it does not affect my work in the long run. Even after we watched tv we decided to go to bed and have some more fun. My bt made me happy by giving me oral, maybe someday I could have an orgasm that way, almost wonder what that would feel like. Hmmm! But there is always more than one way to skin a cat and still was able to have at least two. Helped me sleep for a little while knowing I had to get up early the next day.
So 4am came and yes, I was awake. It would have been better if it was 6 but not me. I quietly went down stairs and tried not to wake my bt or the dog. I kept myself busy for a little while before I had to go upstairs and get ready for the day. When I went into the room and saw bt sleeping so nice and did not want to wake him, but I did say he could have a ruined orgasm before I left. What better time than now? LOL I had to wake him with my cold feet and aroused his cock. Little did he know I was watching porn for an hour before I jumped on top of him. A girl has got to do what she needs to do. LOL
Sunday we were going out and I was asked to not lock up my bt for the day which I agreed to. I understand as long as it is done before the end of the day. After I came home from our activity I instructed my bt to lock himself up when he got home and was told he was going to when he got to it. WTF!! When he got to it. What happened to yes I will Mistress? HMMMM!!! Lucky for him he did, but still might have to act on his delay and defiance.
 
I know it has been two weeks since our last postings but wanted to write a quick update on things. My work has been very busy with the holidays coming up which has given me extra hours. My bt has gone on two separate work related trips that has kept him busy. We have not had a lot of time to write lately but are continuing having my bt locked up through it all. Hopefully we will have more postings in the near future and would value everyone's comments, thoughts, and suggestions on what has been done so far and hope everyone is doing well.
 
Update to 2009

It's been a long time since I've written an update due to family issues, work issues, health issues, and the holidays, so MISTRESS instructed me to write something now. I won't bore you with all the life issues though. Unfortunately with the long delay of everything going on, my memory of events isn't as detailed as it otherwise would be. Therefore this will be a quick summary of some events rather than a detailed description as in the past postings.

S&S MISTRESS intended to completely deny me for five weeks ending Dec. 27th. On her visits we enjoyed our time together and she seemed to enjoy teasing me and bringing me pleasure and leaving me hanging. On day 28 however, when I got to the edge I let her know and tried to get her to stop, but she continued to the last second and I experienced the most frustrating ruined orgasm ever. With no contractions, it simply flowed and felt extremely frustrating. MISTRESS seemed to enjoy that a lot. LOL On the Dec. 27th, we enjoyed our time and I experienced a pleasurable normal orgasm for the first time in 5 weeks.

Since this was the end of our planned time, we are taking a break and reflecting on our experience. During the break, I am not locked however I am still under a level of some control. We have talked about our next period, but are unsure at this time. We've discussed that after some of the personal issues work themselves out, we may start something any time after Jan 15th. My next post will be my reflections upon looking back at the last 3 months.
 
Looking forward to reading your reflections boytoy... What I wonder most is whether your previous fantasies have changed at all from the experiences of the past 3 months. Sometimes when fantasies become reality, it takes the shine off them a bit and sometimes they become an even more intense need...
 
Reflecting back on the past three months:

Thank you Miss D and xcitex for your comments. We look forward to hearing your thoughts after reading my reflections and feel free to ask questions should you have any.

Reflecting back on the past three months:

- I realized initially the experience was exciting but over time the excitement reached a plateau. Maybe it was just the newness that wore off, but I'm not really sure. I went into this knowing fantasy is often better than reality so I don't think it's because I felt let down. At times I was very excited about the experience. Other times, life kind of overwhelmed the feelings of the experience. I also wonder if we lived together as a couple if the added time together would have allowed more teasing and keep the frustration and desire levels higher.

- While I have never been one to like surprises, I realize not knowing what MISTRESS's plans were was more exciting than when I knew for sure. For example, I enjoy pleasuring her regardless of if I'm going to be allowed an orgasm or not, but found it more exciting when I didn't know than when I did know she intended to keep me denied 5 weeks. I think not knowing helps build the feeling that I may earn an orgasm rather than just pleasuring her and waiting for my turn when the calendar says it's time.

- I enjoyed the times when MISTRESS and I would be engaging in sexual activity and suddenly she would stop and say something like, "That's enough. Time to go lock you up." While this was frustrating to not be allowed to finish, it even surprised me how much I enjoyed it.

- I realized how much MISTRESS enjoys giving me ruined orgasms. I can't say the ruined orgasm was extremely pleasurable for me, but seeing her reaction of enjoyment definitely was.

- Being unlocked as I have been since Dec. 27th yet still being controlled and not allowed to JO unless I earn it is having a negative affect on me. One part of me thinks that if I'm able to comply without the CB, then why use it at all. The other side of me thinks I should use it 24/7/365 and only be released for short, necessary periods and when MISTRESS wants to use me. This part of me thinks that if I'm unlocked for longer than a few days I should be able to JO, but it would cost me something. After a few days of being unlocked, it is becoming very difficult to comply with not JOing without being caged while earning the right. This issue is something MISTRESS and I will likely have to re-evaluate.

- Circumstances beyond control often seems to mess up the well planned out intentions of our time together. This leads to disappointments when plans have to be cancelled or changed because something out of our control requires it. In my opinion, this is another example of why it would be best to simply submit to MISTRESS's wishes without her having to plan them all out in advance. Maybe then if something has to change or a date has to change, it will be less disappointing since MISTRESS can choose to delay or cancel it at her whim anyway.

- It appeared that MISTRESS was able to enjoy using me and get pleasure from it without allowing me an orgasm. This was something that I don't believe either of us originally thought would be the case. It seemed initially she felt denying me meant she was denying herself, but it seemed she found she could use it and enjoy it yet stop before I reached orgasm and she could still receive enjoyment and pleasure from it.

- The biggest negative to being locked up for me is using public restrooms. I have always had a thing about anyway, but when locked up it is even worse. I often fear someone will happen to notice I always use a stall, or will happen to be able to see through the cracks around the door.
 
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