My submissive journey

[sub pad]

Hi all,

I'm a submissive male and I'm known as sub pad.
First off I want to thank Mistress Claire my Dominant for helping me on what is now our journey into our Femdom relationship and chastity.

I never new that I was a submissive till I turned 40. I always felt there was something missing in my life but I just couldn't put my finger on it. I cheated on my wife I was never satisfied till I met Mistress Claire.
Mistress Claire was always vanilla in her past an assertive person but not into bdsm or Dominance.

I fell for Mistress Claire completely she has such a beautiful soul.
I started out been a gentleman I'd open doors for Mistress and anything to spoil her and so on.
Doing all these things for Mistress Claire made me really happy.
I started to want to be dominated and punished by Mistress.
Honestly at the time I didn't know this was BDSM and I was a submissive as in my work life I wasn't.

I started to get a bit down from hideing my thoughts and feelings from Mistress Claire.
One night I finally blurted out how I would like to be dominated and beaten by Mistress Claire.
She was shocked naturally enough.
I answered every question that I could and explained the emotions inside of me also the best way I could as I didn't fully understand alot of it myself.

Questions came up was I gay bisexual and alot more.
Mistress Claire started to try and get information for herself off Google ect. A lot of crap on it 2.
But alot of what I explained but didn't understand seemed quite common and indicated I was a submissive.
Mistress Claire realised how I was kinda submissive around her.

Mistress Claire agreed to give it a go and become my Dominant. Mistress took little steps where as I went full steam ahead. I wanted strapon sex to be beaten this way and that. I wanted this type of bondage.
Yes topping from the bottom was the words I discovered for what I was doing.
I couldn't help myself.

When I wanted to wear lingerie Mistress was OK with it at first but I started wearing my g-string all the time and my bras when I could. Please bear in mind we also have to be careful because of kids in the house.
Mistress Claire rightly had concerns that I was gay or bisexual wanting strapon sex and wearing women's cloths.
I explained for me the strapon represented the power exchange and my True submission to her Dominance.
As for the lingerie it gave me comfort in myself it reinforced I was a submissive and later it came to signify I wasn't a real man.

Thank God Mistress Claire is such an understanding opened minded person who instead of just judging me went and took the time to do the research and that helped us both.
My favorite pleasures been beaten and Mistress Claire fucking me with a strapon don't happen now.
Our journey thought us it's not about me but about serving my beautiful Dominant Mistress Claire.

Now I'm a domestic submissive in reality.
I do all the cooking the cleaning washing and the shopping and I could not be happier. The pleasure I get as a submissive doing everything I can for Mistress is Devine.

The chastity side of things started about 3 yrs ago just a bit of fun.
Mistress worked away 2 wks at a time and I'd wear it for that period and then free for the week Mistress Claire was home.
It was always so intense when I got released very hard to describe the powerful feeling of it all.

We stopped for a good while when Mistress Claire came home full time.
Mistress Claire started getting sore from regular love making and to her credit suggested I get other women to satisfy fulfill the need for sex.
I came back and explained how my only happiness could only come through serving her.
So I went back into chastity and I loved it. We lasted 3 months when Mistress Claire took it off to use it for sex as it had been so long I orgasumed in about 3 seconds flat.

Something had changed in me as a submissive my sexual organs were no longer in my genitals but in my head.
I started having more pleasure from giving Mistress Claire orgasums through oral lovemaking which I had been doing since I'd been locked up.
I felt humiliated cuming so quick and not satisfying Mistress.
But I also loved the humiliation of it all not been a real man I suppose was part of it.

This time I'm 2 months in to what I have begged to be made permanent.
I do now get so much more pleasure from Mistress sharing her orgasum with me.
For me now in my mind I am also a cuckold, Mistress is not keen but I have asked her to find a man with an even bigger cock than what I have when ever it suits her. For now it's not what she wants.

I have started to ask during our love making to be called a pathetic sissy and that I'm not a real man stuff like that.
What's even better Mistress Claire on occasion lately has started to do this outside the bedroom and I feel so honoured and loved by this.
Mistress Claire has told me see is very proud of me now and she herself would never wish to go back to a vanilla style relationship.

That's our journey for now and thanks for reading.

sub&slave pad.

 

[Jasmic68]

Well done for being so honest. You have written a lot of information in a short space but have managed to include some criticism of yourself as well as the positives.

I am sure you realise but softly softly is the way to go regarding the cuckoldry. It would appear you have something special going with your Mistress and you don't want to spoil that.

 

[sub pad]

Thanks for your comments,

Yes softly softly is right and that's what I would tell anyone go slow and be honest.
Neither softly or slowly matters to me anymore with us everything is out there between us.
My Dominant Mistress is a kind loving Dominant not a bully ect.
We only do what pleases her as she knows I don't get pleasure unless she is happy and that's basically it for us.
Mistress Claire's pleasure is all that counts.

Sub pad

 

[sub pad]

While Mistress is away for a few days I am taking the opportunity to amend our D/s Contract.
Our present contract is just shy of 2 yrs old now but is just as relevant today as it was the day we both signed it.
Our journey has progressed quite alot in this period of time and the amendments are to reflect this.

Aside from my submissive nature to Mistress we have come to realise I am not a real man so permanent chastity without any physical release.
The goal is to make me more docile, more obedient and to train me to have emotional orgasums through Mistress pleasures alone.

I am to wear women's lingerie from now on. This is to reinforce I am no longer a man but now a submissive sissy to Mistress.
Between the permanent chastity and Sissifying of me, this will strip away any disobedience and any remaining thoughts of being a man.

Because of the amendments outlined above.
I have asked Mistress to do me the honour of making me her cockold,
The new dynamics of our relationship makes it a natural progression for us.
I cannot provide what a real man can so nothing would give me more pleasure that to see her serviced by a true man.
This is not a fantasy it is with great though and consideration I am putting this in the contract as a very real option for Mistress.

I have emailed the draft to Mistress to make any amendments she wishes.
For anyone interested in will post Mistress response to my proposed amendments.

 

[sub pad]

While Mistress is away for a few days I am taking the opportunity to amend our D/s Contract.
Our present contract is just shy of 2 yrs old now but is just as relevant today as it was the day we both signed it.
Our journey has progressed quite alot in this period of time and the amendments are to reflect this.

Aside from my submissive nature to Mistress we have come to realise I am not a real man so permanent chastity without any physical release.
The goal is to make me more docile, more obedient and to train me to have emotional orgasums through Mistress pleasures alone.

I am to wear women's lingerie from now on. This is to reinforce I am no longer a man but now a submissive sissy to Mistress.
Between the permanent chastity and Sissifying of me, this will strip away any disobedience and any remaining thoughts of being a man.

Because of the amendments outlined above.
I have asked Mistress to do me the honour of making me her cockold,
The new dynamics of our relationship makes it a natural progression for us.
I cannot provide what a real man can so nothing would give me more pleasure that to see her serviced by a true man.
This is not a fantasy it is with great though and consideration I am putting this in the contract as a very real option for Mistress.

I have emailed the draft to Mistress to make any amendments she wishes.
For anyone interested in will post Mistress response to my proposed amendments.

 

[sub pad]

Mistress read over the amendments I put forward to our existing D/s contract.
I can't even begin to tell you how I feel inside..
Mistress agreed with everything that I wrote and she did not suggest a single change.

I genuinely hope in the future Mistress will find a bull to service her physical needs.