My question is this: I have been into Chastity for numerous years now and only a few people I think knows (Wife/KH obviously) but as this is getting more and more mainstream it is slightly possible that others in my social media circle are also into chastity. Is there a secret message you could put as your status etc to let like-minded people know but to the vanilla person, they wouldn't bat an eyelid? I was thinking something like When do the cLocks go back/forward? (purposely capitalising the L) or Looking forward to November. or I must be losing weight because I have to wear a belt more often or Just watched Luke Cage for the first time suggestions please and possibly answers so we know the person knows the real meaning.
Unless you have a bunch of kinkster friend on social media, there is a very low chance that you even have 1 friend that owns a cage. Most men are horrified of the idea unless it’s a short term prelude to sex.
If you posted a pic of you and your wife and she had a small padlock key on a chain around her neck, chastity users would get it immediately but most others wouldn’t think twice. Especially if it was one of those funky “magic lock” mortise lock keys.
I can’t imagine it personally, certainly not with my friendship circle, well maybe 1 could but only as I know his Mrs used to be on FetLife (0: Maybe needs a lot more time before chastity would be more mainstream (but I guess you never know).
Chastity play would be far more acceptable if it’s framed in the terms of tease and forplay. For instance a day long lockup as a prelude to fun and games in the evening. I think a good number of people would find that fun and interesting but when you start talking FLR and full time or even overnight lockup’s then people would start squirming from TMI. Best to introduce it as a forplay method and let them evolve it from there. If they really seem interested and dig for more you could tell them you’ve gone further and that after a few days had the most mind bending orgasm of you life.
There are all sorts thing that could mean numerous things. For example... -Let's say your wife started wearing the key as jewelry -Make the lock screen on your phone, a small padlock -Make the Wallpaper on your Facebook the mention above -On Halloween, dress up as a rooster in a cage These things could all mean nothing, but if they know... they know...
Trouble is there won't be universal knowledge and acceptance of any 'secret' signal. Even a key or padlock on a necklace can just be a decoration or an indication of love and commitment without any sign of chastity. I used to see rumors all the time about a man's earring in left ear meaning he's gay or an anklet on woman meaning she's a hot wife. It may be true some, but no guarantee.
Even though my wife has been comfortable telling others about my tiny penis, she has told me she will not discuss my being in chastity with anyone. As such, she will not wear my actual key on her neck or an anklet or wherever. She does however wear various symbols of our chastity lifestyle that I've bought for her: lock & key pendants, earrings, a toe ring, etc. I do often wonder if chastity is more common than we might think... There are so many different makers of chastity devices and all kinds of products and styles, so there must be quite a few of them out there unseen and unknown to us. However, I only know one friend that has ever mentioned it, and it was just a couple jokes and various comments that made it clear it's a topic he knows about. But instead of raising my suspicions that he might be in chastity, it actually had me seriously wondering if maybe he mentioned it because he thought or knew I was. And there is no doubt now that he knows I own chastity devices, because I accidentally made a comment about my chastity cage when we were drinking together one night.
it's difficult to let the "right" people know the signal or symbol without it leaking out into the wider community, at which point it becomes redundant at best and problematic at worst, ie everyone will see it and know your secret.
There was a thing going around online that if you wore a white paper ring on your finger it would signal that you were a paypig and could be approached. I've worn countless times and nothing happened. Think these signs are good idea in theory but it's difficult for it to become something that's accepted.
Thanks for the comments. I was wondering more like a secret post and for other like-minded in the circle to give a silent nod as if to say I know what you really mean. I have a few friends that I think might know about chastity and all its benefits but I am not 100% certain though and if we were in a conversation and the subject was right I would feel awkward bringing it up in conversation. It would be nice to know if those people in my social group were at least aware of it and weren't frighten to discuss it as a taboo subject.
I agree, I’ve seen a few suggestions like this over the years, I’m sure they all stem from the handkerchief code used in the scene.
I wear my key on a gold chain and Hubby had it gold plated (which is starting to wear off.) I wear it inside my blouse so it doesn’t attract attention. The day we went trail riding on our ATV with a group from the club it came out. When someone commented on it. I quipped it was the key to my heart but it somehow became a topic of conversation including did I give Hubby sex when he gave it to me. For those of you who have read our threads you can imagine how uncomfortable I was. I was about to lose it. There was an older couple there and she must have sensed my discomfort because she started talking about how romantic her husband was and let me recover my composure. Just the way she talked Hubby and I both got the feeling she and her husband were into chastity and she knew what the key was. She really saved me that day. Thanks to her everyone else sees it as a romantic charm. We haven’t had a chance to see them since so I don’t know for sure but I think they know. In any case I owe her a debt of gratitude.
It's an interesting question. A lot of activities that only a few years ago, would have been considered kinky, a fetish, taboo etc are becoming more and more accepted in mainstream society. Social Media and the Internet are the key drivers in this. They allow people that have never met, who have thousands of miles between them but share an interest, the ability to connect at the click of a hashtag. It's a little over a year ago that my sister in law confessed to my wife that her and my wife's brother had dabbled in hotwifing and that he had talked about looking into chastity. Both things that my wife and I had been doing on and off for several years! My wife didn't let on about our ways but had it been a friend of a friend of a friend, it could have been different I guess. I suppose that unless someone is wearing a symbol of some sort, perhaps some kind of jewellery, or has a tattoo, you would have to be knowingly in a circle containing participants that were already somewhat in the know. Even then, in vanilla circumstances, it's going to take that physical symbol or someone brazen enough to just say it out loud. Thankfully, kinks and fetishes like chastity are still very much behind-closed-doors activities. If they were to become normalised, they'd become very unexciting very quickly.....in my opinion.
Chastity is so young yet has grown so much, this could easily turn into a widely excepted and honored symbol of how a relationship has progressed. Likely to evolve similar to the wedding ring, I'm sure to first generation that started wearing those got some questions, a visible symbol of the depth of your relationship. Chaste people will not always need to be underground in secret communities, soon wearing a key will show how much your partner trusts and loves you, and women will long for the day there man wants to adorn her with one.
I know that chastity and submission are different things, but some people who are submissive wear day collars. So if your wife was into you wearing something like that, it would be a subtle signal, not noticed by most people, but some would notice. A couple of years ago there was a woman at my workplace who wore a necklace with a small loop every day that I was sure was a day collar. I want to make clear that I would never mention it, both because it would have been completely unprofessional, and anyway I'm not going to talk to a woman who's not my wife about sexual matters, but I have to admit I was dying to ask her, because I've never met anyone else IRL who was submissive. subbnh