Should a sub in a FLR be allowed free access to the household finances?

[BR_Saiph]

@MrsBR_Saiph has been teasing me about only allowing me a debit card with a daily allowance of $2 for coffee, even though I'm the primary bread winner.
I'd carry a credit card for real emergencies.

So say the guys wanted to go for beers, I'd have to ask her permission, and ask for $ to be loaded.
Or, say I wanted to buy her a donut or treat that day, I'd have to sacrifice my coffee for her.
Etc.

Likely someone already is livimg this existence in some fashion, but for us right now, it's just fun smack talk.
(I think!)

 

[Unlucky]

Both partners should always be involved in major financial decisions and setting budgets, even if the dominant partner is a financial wizard.

An allowance for small purchases with anything beyond that requiring authorization from the dominant partner could be fun as it would be another avenue of control. It has the added benefit of potentially giving you some feelings of submission without any active work on her part if you find yourself mentally debating whether to ask to go over the allowance for something or not.

 

[BR_Saiph]

Both partners should always be involved in major financial decisions and setting budgets, even if the dominant partner is a financial wizard.

An allowance for small purchases with anything beyond that requiring authorization from the dominant partner could be fun as it would be another avenue of control. It has the added benefit of potentially giving you some feelings of submission without any active work on her part if you find yourself mentally debating whether to ask to go over the allowance for something or not.

Yes, every day and each purchase would be a silent reminder of his place.
So many ways for the Mrs to interpret the daily / weekly choices. I.e. " why didn't he sacrifice and buy me a treat?" It wouldn't be about the treat, rather the subs willingness to display his devotion on another level on top of the financial submission.

For sure, both must steer the ship regarding the major things, after all a lady still needs her partner to do his part.
In fact I advise on all our investments, she manages the bills.
The day to day personal choices most subs take for granted, would be no more...

 

[Droog]

Sounds like fun, but I'd make it $3 so you have a way to "save up" for treats. Don't you have to do the grocery shopping though @OP?

We went down the route of "forced wearing of Panties 24x7" as a way of reminding the sub of his place. When that get's routine, she will pick out which Panties must be worn on which day of the week and punish any deviation - spot checks may happen any time in person or IM.

-droog

 

[BR_Saiph]

Sounds like fun, but I'd make it $3 so you have a way to "save up" for treats. Don't you have to do the grocery shopping though @OP?

We went down the route of "forced wearing of Panties 24x7" as a way of reminding the sub of his place. When that get's routine, she will pick out which Panties must be worn on which day of the week and punish any deviation - spot checks may happen any time in person or IM.

-droog

Coffee is $1.85, so I could save $0.15/day

The Mrs does the shopping, as everyone's flr dynamic is unique, ours is such that she chooses ( her choice not mine ) to handle certain domestic affairs.

 

[MrsBR_Saiph]

Sounds like fun, but I'd make it $3 so you have a way to "save up" for treats. Don't you have to do the grocery shopping though @OP?

We went down the route of "forced wearing of Panties 24x7" as a way of reminding the sub of his place. When that get's routine, she will pick out which Panties must be worn on which day of the week and punish any deviation - spot checks may happen any time in person or IM.

-droog

$3 a day is unreasonable. He will have the ability to save 15 cents daily.
He is lucky that I don't want a daily donut as I might get my feelings hurt if he chose his coffee over buying me a treat.

 

[Nicoftime]

I mentioned it on another thread(about your allowance), and we don’t have that particular dynamic. Some actually love and even get excited by that level of control.

I think she would agree to it lol, but I myself have been down that road with my ex wife and I have learned to love that portion of independence. I can save, spend, and plan like I want. She has her own independence as well, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t buy or chip in on if asked or needed.

I could see how it could work if it was sexualized or incentivized.

By the way, I think not being able to purchase anything while hanging out with friends would be more embarrassing than them knowing about my cage.

 

[Guest 3729]

I too am the current bread winner in the house but I wouldn’t be opposed to trying something like that. Probably be good for me lol. That being said I’ve never viewed anything as “mine” I’ve always seen everything as “ours” whatever it is especially after marriage. Honestly it would be kind of a thrill to hear my wife insist on those terms.

 

[MrsBR_Saiph]

I mentioned it on another thread(about your allowance), and we don’t have that particular dynamic. Some actually love and even get excited by that level of control.

I think she would agree to it lol, but I myself have been down that road with my ex wife and I have learned to love that portion of independence. I can save, spend, and plan like I want. She has her own independence as well, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t buy or chip in on if asked or needed.

I could see how it could work if it was sexualized or incentivized.

By the way, I think not being able to purchase anything while hanging out with friends would be more embarrassing than them knowing about my cage.

I wouldn't want my BR to go without when with friends. But isn't it fun that he has to call and ask permission for a little more money. Isn't it fun that he has to deal with the insecurities of not having enough money. Having this kind of control excites me very much and I know the submission of bending to that which also causes him to panic a little excites him . There are so many fun psychological games I can play here, this one is pretty hot.

 

[filltee]

No one can really answer this question for you.

As it depends of the dynamic of your particular situation in reality you are left trying to work out for yourselves what does and does not work, when and where to compromise and what you both want to get out of it all as you go along... just like most of the rest of us.

 

[BR_Saiph]

I mentioned it on another thread(about your allowance), and we don’t have that particular dynamic. Some actually love and even get excited by that level of control.

I think she would agree to it lol, but I myself have been down that road with my ex wife and I have learned to love that portion of independence. I can save, spend, and plan like I want. She has her own independence as well, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t buy or chip in on if asked or needed.

I could see how it could work if it was sexualized or incentivized.

By the way, I think not being able to purchase anything while hanging out with friends would be more embarrassing than them knowing about my cage.

Oh the shame of them knowing about the lack of financial freedom would be immense!
For the cage, as bad as that would be, their minds couldn't absorb what it all meant and it could all be joked away as sex/kink play.
Money though, and a woman denying a guy access to what he earns, oh man now that is something that would trigger most guys because they understand money and the fear of a woman ( usually ex wife or gold digger, etc ) wanting to take it.
The reaction would be swift and brutal, they'd never look at the sub the same way again!
A concept I'd never considered, fear of chastity exposure vs financial domination... That's what I love about this site, so many ways to look at something.

 

[BR_Saiph]

I wouldn't want my BR to go without when with friends. But isn't it fun that he has to call and ask permission for a little more money. Isn't it fun that he has to deal with the insecurities of not having enough money. Having this kind of control excites me very much and I know the submission of bending to that which also causes him to panic a little excites him . There are so many fun psychological games I can play here, this one is pretty hot.

This is what happens when you let the Mrs into your head...

 

[BR_Saiph]

I too am the current bread winner in the house but I wouldn’t be opposed to trying something like that. Probably be good for me lol. That being said I’ve never viewed anything as “mine” I’ve always seen everything as “ours” whatever it is especially after marriage. Honestly it would be kind of a thrill to hear my wife insist on those terms.

We joined our finances when we first moved in together just after college, so I know what you mean. All in.

 

[MrsBR_Saiph]

No one can really answer this question for you.

As it depends of the dynamic of your particular situation in reality you are left trying to work out for yourselves what does and does not work, when and where to compromise and what you both want to get out of it all as you go along... just like most of the rest of us.

Absolutely, I don't believe in polls, polls are nonsense. This was BR's bright idea. Thank goodness I do the leading in the dynamic. I will make my own decision. This is just him having fun with the idea.

 

[Nicoftime]

I wouldn't want my BR to go without when with friends. But isn't it fun that he has to call and ask permission for a little more money. Isn't it fun that he has to deal with the insecurities of not having enough money. Having this kind of control excites me very much and I know the submission of bending to that which also causes him to panic a little excites him . There are so many fun psychological games I can play here, this one is pretty hot.

I will say, If she told me it made her hot or got her off, I would probably end up handing her my wallet and list of passwords lol

I am so easy lol

 

[Suewiang]

@MrsBR_Saiph has been teasing me about only allowing me a debit card with a daily allowance of $2 for coffee, even though I'm the primary bread winner.
I'd carry a credit card for real emergencies.

So say the guys wanted to go for beers, I'd have to ask her permission, and ask for $ to be loaded.
Or, say I wanted to buy her a donut or treat that day, I'd have to sacrifice my coffee for her.
Etc.

Likely someone already is livimg this existence in some fashion, but for us right now, it's just fun smack talk.
(I think!)

I have no money at all. I am taken shopping at times but it’s not regular and even when I go It’s for a reason always so there is something specific that I’m taken to buy that needs me there or I’d not be taken.
My lady chooses everything I wear and hence buys it all. I never go out of our house well off our land without her so I have no need of coffee money etc.
When it comes to gifts for her I ask my mum and she will get for me. And when I want to buy things for my family I am allowed to do so and my lady will help me choose and of course she pays for them.
The food and general things we all need each week I do the orders and once I’ve set the order she will pay for it.
So I have no money of my own I can use.
I do however have a savings account my lady adds to every year for the unexpected in the future and as a safety issue if things ever went badly wrong between us and it was something she set up when I became hers.

so the vote options needs a third option for no money at all ever.

 

[BR_Saiph]

I will say, If she told me it made her hot or got her off, I would probably end up handing her my wallet and list of passwords lol

I am so easy lol

We're all easy, and sooo obvious!

 

[Droog]

$3 a day is unreasonable. He will have the ability to save 15 cents daily.
He is lucky that I don't want a daily donut as I might get my feelings hurt if he chose his coffee over buying me a treat.

Oh Sounds fair then!

 

[Isopropylforyou]

First off why are you buying Coffee? You can make far higher quality Coffee at home or at work that will surpass anything the Evil Green Mermaid can produce. If you (or anyone else reading this) are interested in taking your Coffee drinking to the next level, send me a message. I will point you in the right direction.

When it comes to Coffee, that is serious territory. Personally, I drink Coffee for the Safety of Others. I take it very seriously. Just to give you an idea how nuts I am when it comes to Coffee: The water temperature must be between 195 - 205 degrees in order to get optimum extraction from the Coffee Grounds. I am a COMPLETE Coffee Snob.

So when it comes to playing with the ability to deny someone to be able to drink of the sweet nectar of the Bean, it is not cool. Allow him to have his cup of Coffee and give him some extra $$$ to get you something to if you want.

Besides, B.R. is the type of Man who would save up the extra money and then spend it on you anyway.

Iso.

I really want a cup of Coffee right now.

 

[MRS.Lilith]

I rule the finances, my husband always asks when he wants to purchase something not directly necessary. For instance, necessary things are tanking fuel and stuff like that. He needs not explain necessary purchases. But he asks permission for things he wants for fun, as he's not the one watching our budget.
But he does not have an allowance, this to me is a fine middle ground.

 

[LesterBallard]

the question of financial control comes up quite regularly, and it tends to split the crowd. For some it's a complete no-go area, for others it's integral. There will be some who may like to experiment with it. Whatever you agree to together will work.

 

[Sipriotes]

We've had co-mingled finances for a long time, and we are on the same page about goals, savings, budgeting, and most of the other things that people would normally argue about. I manage the day to day, mostly because it interests me and I'm at the computer more than she is.

Recently she has told me that I need to ask her before making unnecessary purchases. Online shopping was one of my vices, so I agree that it needs to be curbed. She isn't overly strict with it, and having to make the case to someone else why I "need" a new gizmo does help me to avoid wasting money on stupid things.

 

[MissyB]

Personally, I think that is a wonderful idea. Any way to increase control of a sub is a positive. Plus this helps extend control into real world in a fairly safe way. A little embarrassment in front of friends or having to sacrifice a cup of coffee for her, are simple ways to remind him of his status and why he loves to serve. Even bigger financial issues could be done that way, with his input and her choice. As long as the bond is strong.

 

[Maid Denise]

@MrsBR_Saiph has been teasing me about only allowing me a debit card with a daily allowance of $2 for coffee, even though I'm the primary bread winner.
I'd carry a credit card for real emergencies.

So say the guys wanted to go for beers, I'd have to ask her permission, and ask for $ to be loaded.
Or, say I wanted to buy her a donut or treat that day, I'd have to sacrifice my coffee for her.
Etc.

Likely someone already is livimg this existence in some fashion, but for us right now, it's just fun smack talk.
(I think!)

Even though I was unlocked for 8 or 9 months , the finances in our house didn't change . She is in charge of the money , although it's my money coming in. We have a joint account and I ask before I spend. Also letting my Goddess handle the money , I haven't seen any bills in a long time. That is a stress relief in its self .

 

[Guest 8927]

One of the contingencies my Goddess had in our FLR contract negotiations was financial control. We have both been the primary income earner at times in the last few years together. I am given a weekly allowance of 20 dollars and she manages the rest.

She is a meticulous financial person and does a great job, and if anything, adds to my own fantasies of being her kept little sissy house husband. For me, it speaks to trust in the process.

An Alpha female has to have certain checks and balances in order to fully feel like She is in control, and I have noticed this one is big for Her.

In my case, it does help cure my Amazon Lingerie and shoe buying urge, I suppose. I'm ok with it, and it is something important for Her. It takes a bit of negotiation to get there, but it works very well in asserting each other's place.