if you were given the chance to be device free how many of you could actually go by the honor system?
I know many people do use the honor system, I'm not one of them. There's just no way I would be able to stop myself if the urge gets strong enough (and it does). That's also why I need a cage that I can't pull out of. I wish I could say I have enough willpower, but truth be told I don't. I know it and my K/H knows it!
I feel like that would be like telling a smoker who's trying to quit to puff but not inhale. Sure, it's possible, but unlikely to be successful long-term.
And let's be honest. Having an orgasm is spectacularly pleasurable so it's no mystery why, given enough time, someone would fall into the temptation by some kind of convoluted logic or convince themselves of some justification in the heat of the moment.
I wouldn't trust any man with an honour system. Sorry, nothing personal, but I would not. They'd always be a terrible doubt lingering in my mind that he was cheating me. Besides, I’ve come to like the cage as a very literal statement of my authority over him.
I have had to come to terms with the honor system. Most of my Submissives are handled remotely, so I don't quite have a choice. I use technology to my advantage to help keep track of things but there will always be a blindspot. I have taken the approach of honesty and responsibility. I expect complete honesty, even if I wont like what I'm hearing. My Submissives know that if have need to tell me anything, I am there for them. I promise that I won't be mad, but there may be some repercussions afterwards. There will come a time where every KH will have to remove the cage and in some way, shape, or form and have to trust. Case in point; one of my Submissives has an injury, and medicly can't wear his cage. Sure, I am uneasy; but I can't force him to stay locked risking his health and welfare. I do plan to reinforce the reminder of his servitude though; I plan on making him take my lock (ment for his cage) and place it on a nice chain around his neck. Sun tan branding or a henna tattoo of my "G" on his ass would help out too. As a man that has been a Switch.. I do agree with most of you; I takes a special kind of man to not me tempted by our "member". Like Robin Williams (RIP) said: -" God gave men both a penis and a brain; but only enough to run one at a time."- G
Two parts to this. One the sub needs to have the special qualities that makes them interesting . Obviously awesome will power first and foremost and a very close conection at the mental level with their Mistress. That bond is not built in a few chat messages one night. It's got to grow and mature into something with depth and become meaningful . The orgasam thing is part of the equation. Once you get past 10-14 days you do get out of the habit. . OK so you slip up knock one out and yep 15 seconds and two kleenex later job done. But then the post spurty blues and probably the guilt because you then get a call from HER . Remember you gave spent some time getting to know each other and they fess up and then her disappointment . Not good because as a sub even a lightweight you are not really into displeasure you Mistress . If you are interesting enough to get her to want to play in the first place you will have some kind of concept of being honest . So you want to be good for both your own self esteem and keeping her interested. It just takes the right relationship and will power. It is a very interesting dynamic to explore if you are given the chance . Xx Wendy
I know with my husband and I, it's all about control and turning that control over to the other person--just like in our bondage play. I know I could trust my husband to be on the honor system if I asked him--and he would honor it as far as he could and be honest where and when he gave into temptation. I know he loves turning that control over to me and then watching me turn into the dominant and conniving tease I turn into. He loves the mystery of when I will unlock him next and what I will do when I do decide to unlock him. We enjoy the mind "game" of chastity--the threat of being locked up for good without ever being able to get release again.
I am on the honor system as the CB 6000 that I have gives me pain after a day. Also nighttime erections are pretty painful for me. Solution would be a full belt instead of a cock ring model. However, those are expensive and I suppose hard to wear in certain situations (sports, travel, cycling). Since I love submitting to my girlfriend and I found to like being denied an orgasm in our play sessions, I have suggested to try the honor system. For her, having to take care of a chastity device is just more work. And this has been the obstacle which prevented us from trying tease-and-denial, really. So on the honor system it is not more work for her; no unlocking for cleaning and all the like. For me it is more comfortable. I must admit that during edging I happen to give myself a ruined orgasm by accident; sometimes I stop stimulation a bit too late. I tell her that in teasing sessions and if I had a full orgasm by accident, I would certainly send her a text message confessing it right away. Now I am hoping for a wicked tease-and-denial session where I am tied to the bed and she perhaps gives me a soft blowjob. She could wear her leather hat and make it a strict interrogation :-D.
In my humble opinion. Being in in chastity cage is the transfer of power to another person. The psychological effect will never be the same without the cage. The transfer of power and submission to the Mistress / KH never be the same without cage.
And there's the rub, I think many men in this situation would do their best. But that times going to come when emotions overtake intellect, you just say screw it and do what you've done since your teenage years.....get yourself off! At least that's how it worked for me. I give the men who use the honor system a lot of credit, that's the true test of willpower.
Absolutely spot on Wendy. I'm on the honour system because my wife has no desire to lock me into a device. There are times when I struggle but my wife always talks and guides me through it but generally I don't have too much problem. I view secret masturbation as deceit so I do not do it. I'm kept in chastity to control my level of servitude to my wife. She would know if I had deceived her. We have had a successful full-time FLR for many years now and those years have been the happiest for both of us so what we're doing works and I see no reason to jeopardise it.
For me it's not a matter of if I can stay chaste on my own, it's I really don't want the torture of temptation. Healing from pa piercing and waiting for a suitable cage has been very difficult. First week not quite as hard due to pain, but still was super worked up. She allowed me to cum and has been a week since then... I am at my wits end. The cage contains erections, and limits stimulus...heck, just walking, going to the bathroom, and climbing into bed arouses it physically. I won't touch it, because this was my idea, I'm serious about my commitment to her and this. But it's seriously crazy frustrating to rely on your own will, and it's only been 6 days. So short term I can use honor system but long term I would need some sort of barrier, even if it was to keep out other stimulus and not just me.
I once lasted 93 days on the honor system. After checking out my balls in the mirror for about a week, I decided to touch them touch them one night to see how full they were. It felt good, so I kept rubbing/touching them... and it eventually led to a disappointing ruined orgasm. That just proves that if a device is available, we should be locked in it for best results. If I was in a device that night, I would've stayed locked and been happier. I was actually fairly disappointed with myself that night.
My device, a Holy Trainer, is so easy to pull out of that I am essentially both wearing a device and on the honour system at the same time. It's not because the HT is bad, my body has changed so much I need to buy a narrower ring so it grips me tighter. I couldn't do this if I wasn't wearing it, or at least not as well as I can wearing it. It's a physical reminder of the pact I have made with my Wife. I have had a few accidents and they make me very upset, so any help reducing stimulation is a help. We don't know why but I am just more pliable to her control wearing the device. I have written about the subtle changes she noticed in me when we were on holiday recently. I tried really hard not to let being unlocked for nine days effect me but I didn't quite manage it. Apart from that the device has a strange effect on me, in that I am more confident wearing it. I hardly notice it is there most of the time. It is part of me now and I couldn't imagine not having it on. If Elle gave me the keys back and told me she wasn't interested anymore I would probably still wear it.
Absolutely. Unverifiable. IMO having the keys and him secured is essential. It's the authority and control and you want all the handles you can get!
I have gone over 4 months on the honor system and I have also failed once. The only possible way is if there is COMPLETE honesty and COMPLETE trust. It helped that I was in a real physical relationship with my keyholder so even if we were apart the trust and honesty of a face to face carried over.
Been a long, long time since I've posted... Been in and out of the chastity lifestyle for many, many years. Surprisingly, my loving, awesome, faithful and caring wife of 30+ years tried being a KH, and did it wonderfully for a while, but it just never stuck. There was a time when we were really into the FLR lifestyle, and I was locked most of the time. But as with many things in life, interests change and evolve, life moves on. Maybe I just wasn't the best caged pet I could have been. Maybe she just didn't want the responsibility of managing the keys. A little of both, I suspect... I mention all of this because I only recently decided to try chastity again, knowing that she most likely wouldn't be too terribly interested, but willing to let me "do my thing" if I wanted to, but that it would be me mostly on the honor system. So I bought a HTv2, small, pink, 36mm ring. I've never felt a more comfortable device,and was able to wear it right out of the box and wear it to work the very next day. But as mentioned, the HT really is dreadfully easy to slip out of. I was in the shower the first night when it happened, and that was when I had one of two revelations regarding being locked in chastity. First, the device is only there as a form of bondage. A reminder, if you will, that you've either decided (or had it decided for you) that you'll not have an orgasm unless permitted. We all know that there are all manner of devices out there, but the end result of all of them is to restrict physical access to our otherwise exposed sex organs. But that leads to revelation number two: The biggest sex organ you have is between your ears. And what I mean by that is that no matter what kind of device you wear, sexual gratification is NEVER fully controlled by the device alone. At least, that's not the case for me. I found out a long, long time ago that I could achieve orgasm while caged. In fact, we worked at it together to make it happen. She is incredibly gifted at wielding the strapon, and eventually I learned to orgasm with her taking me, chastity cage or not. So where am I going with all of this? I'm on my fourth day of being self locked in the HT. She's taken the keys and locked them away in her lock box, mostly as a favor to me so I wouldn't be tempted to use them. She used me last night, taking me with her strapon, and even throwing in a little humiliation by telling me to "take it, you little sissy slut". It was awesome, but no orgasm for me. She had to leave early to go out of town this morning. As I awoke with the memories of last night fresh in my head, I was aroused and really horny. I reached down to touch myself, and was reminded that I had something plastic locked on down there. Frustrated, I began rubbing in earnest in spite of the fact that I'd told myself that I wanted to hold out and not have an orgasm while she was away. Long story short, I went past the edge and had an orgasm in spite of the chastity device and in spite of my best intentions. The only thing I cannot answer is whether or not I would have stopped short had she asked (or told) me not to cum. My guess is that the primal urge will almost always win out. And the really funny thing about it is that although the orgasm felt wonderful, it was still a personal let down to not have the self control to stop in time and let that wonderful simmering, smoldering, energizing denial continue to build. Honor system? Obviously I wouldn't be able to live up to it!
Joro, that's sweet of you to say. Who knows? Life sometimes throws us a curve ball. And by the way, I just wanted to let you know that although we've never formally "met" (online), I've often seen your posts and remember seeing your name on some other chastity sites in the past. It makes me happy to see that you're still at it.