Total, absolute newbie! (But not lurking.)

Giveitup

Giveitup

Long term member
May 10, 2017
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A sudden, unexplained fascination with chastity cages, and a few hours on Google led me here. I am horny as a moose, all of the time, and have been since I discovered my penis. It rules my time, and I'm thinking this may be the way to control it. I'm out on the edge here, and it's certainly just me - my better-half would freak! I'll be looking around, and may disappear, but what I've read over the past few days makes me think that I am not alone (as scary as this is for me to put myself out here like this.) We'll see.

I'm not locked right now, as I managed a minor urethral tear from inserting the 8mm bead on the end of the tube with a bit too much exuberance. Who knew there was a restriction just behind the head? But, I bought some dilators in the same purchase as my 1st cage, and so I am healing and stretching, and won't make that mistake again! My intent is to lock myself up whenever my wife is away, and to take my cage on the road when I travel. I need to focus my sexual energy on my spouse. Manual intervention is simply too easy, and my right hand is never too sleepy, too far away or not interested.
 
It took us three attempts before my wife accepted my chastity cage. You really do not need a urethral tube to be locked in chastity, especially if you have problems with it. I tried it once and ended up with a nasty infection. Be smart and don't risk your health for a sex game. Safe and sane as we say in the BDSM community. I have already had two operations on my penis and one on my anus. No fun at all.

Self locking is a much different experience than having your wife be your keyholder. It forces you to be both prisoner and warden. Guys who self lock tend to give up after the initial excitement wears off. In your mental image of chastity, your brain is not flooded with hormones that are screaming for you to cum. You only feel sexual arousal. However, it seems that most guys into chastity self lock. That is why they disappear as quickly as they appear. Some make it work or at least pretend to in their posts. Hard to tell these days. The problem you face is that an emergency key is necessary. Believe me, it is a life saver. In our BDSM world that I lived in for 47 years, our motto was play safe and sane. Things I never even thought of, happened to me when I was locked up and the emergency key was a godsend. So you will always have a key to let yourself out. Plus it is easy to orgasm when locked up. I just came tonight by my wife jerking my cage back and forth even though I was not able to get erect. Luckily it was a ruined orgasm which I only felt later on when sticky stuff started to drip.

You also lose out on most of the fun of chastity. No being edged over and over again to be kept in that area between pleasure and ejaculation for an hour or so. No being teased each day by someone who excites you. No one to direct your sexual arousal to. If I were you I would try to get my wife involved. It is the difference between whipping yourself or having a woman do it to you while playing with your junk. It is also easier to endure when you are doing it out of love for your wife. I see the joy that my wife has when she edges me. She giggles at the power she has over me sexually. Her orgasms are more intense the longer I am denied and orgasm. She no longer has to focus on giving me an orgasm and so sex focuses solely on her leaving her to concentrate only on her pleasure.

There are books and articles she can read. I bought my wife two ebooks which helped her understand why I wanted her to control my orgasms and lock my penis up. We started with jsut teasing and denial with no lock up. I just promised that I would not masturbate until she gave me permission to. Then the next time you have sex, just tell her that sex is only for her pleasure this time and let her feel what that is like. Then pay a lot of attention to her afterwards and behave better than normal. My wife loves how the littlest thing she does arouses me. Only when my wife wanted to deny me an orgasm longer than 3 weeks did I tell her that I could not promise her that I would not masturbate anymore. Told her that my small head may do the thinking for me. That is when I suggested a chastity cage. She said to buy it and even then she did not hold the keys or tease me for weeks. She called sex without my orgasm, fake sex. However I made sure that she knew how much pleasure I was getting by her denying me an orgasm and keeping me locked up. When she denied me, I thanked her afterwards. When she let me orgasm, I complained that I feel depressed and bored and wished that I did not orgasm.

It took a very long time for my wife to not feel guilty about denying me an orgasm or keeping me locked up. 3 years before she finally accepted chastity as our normal sex life. Now she does not want to go back to the way it used to be. Baby steps will do the trick. Try not to spring too much on your wife all at once and too fast. I cannot tell you how much more you will experience with a keyholder you love.
 
Uhhh Yeah. Safe, Sane and Consensual. I'm sure that's what I read somewhere. What did you think would happen when you stuck things into your penis hole. My wife is very vanilla, but chastity has changed our lives and stopped my masturbation. You should read my journal in the vault. We sound like we have similar situations... Except for the sticking things into the urethra part... C'mon man. My journal chronicles how I stopped masturbating by introducing her to Female Led Relationship and male chastity.

https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/on-your-mark-get-set-go.20789/
 
Thanks, Vinny - Good advice, all the way around. Even before I joined, I noticed that you a quite active here, open and honest in your opinions and advice. And... I'm confident in my analysis, as you are remarkably consistent across many, many posts. No alarm bells from the BS detector. Sincerely, thank you!
 
Locked N Sealed said:
There's nothing wrong with urethral play. You have to start small keep clean and be careful. If it hurts it's not right.
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@Locked N Sealed - I concur. For the few hours I had my device on, the strangest feeling was that the tip of the head of my member was touching nothing. The tube held it in place, and with no arousal, and maximum shrinkage in a very small device, there was NO feeling. I'm used to tight underwear and bluejeans, but the way the head was trapped, it felt like it was floating in space. Weird. Addicting. But, if I find it too exciting, well - things touch. Firmly. :)
 
macmagna said:
Uhhh Yeah. Safe, Sane and Consensual. I'm sure that's what I read somewhere. What did you think would happen when you stuck things into your penis hole. My wife is very vanilla, but chastity has changed our lives and stopped my masturbation. You should read my journal in the vault. We sound like we have similar situations... Except for the sticking things into the urethra part... C'mon man. My journal chronicles how I stopped masturbating by introducing her to Female Led Relationship and male chastity.

https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/on-your-mark-get-set-go.20789/
Click to expand...
Thanks, @macmagna - You're right about the similar path. I will follow your saga closely. Thanks for sharing it.

No worries on the urethra thing, I'm not new to it. Not fixated, but understand hygiene, so the cage was boiled for 10-minutes, then wiped-down with disinfectant and dried before insertion. The 8mm ball was bigger, or my restriction was smaller, than I had planned for. In my excitement to get the cage on, a gentle push caused a sudden "Pop!" There was a tiny bit of blood, only when I pee'd, so I took the device off to heal. A rookie mistake - I'm bright enough to have known better...
 
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