Vanilla wife chastity help

[The Queens consort]

I kept dropping hints while we had sex, probably for a year before actually trying a cage. I’d do it by telling her little bits of fantasy that I knew she enjoyed, with a me in chastity angle. It was like planting seeds, and waiting for something to grow. Eventually I purchased a cage, showed it to her, then we eventually tried it. She actually took to it rather well after realizing I was not injuring myself. We have gone from her saying, ok once in a while, to let’s lock you up.

It just takes time, so be patient.

 

[KyDave]

How did the 30 day "mind craze" work out?

L

Post in thread 'Teased/edged everyday'

Jul 18, 2024

Yea, I truly feel like it is the double edged sword. I REALLY want to be unlocked and teased by miss, but also it is very hard to handle everyday. Also I am afraid I will mess up and barely go over the edge and have the smallest ruined orgasm, which would reset the clock to 30 days. And although scary, that thought turns me on like crazy which doesnt help. Man, this 30 days is a mind craze, I can't imagine the longer lock ups, although the way miss is liking this...I may be in for a long fun road

• Lockedup1984

 

[Jessica Alexander]

Start simple and don’t dump a whole lifestyle on her. Start as a game that is maybe a few hour or day long prelude to her unlocking her prize at the end. Let it evolve from there and don’t push things too fast. I wouldn’t even send her any links or other info until you are well beyond day games.

 

[Sissy_Karen]

Thanks bud. I need to just man up , sit her down and tell her I think. Treat it like a game coz that’s what it is. I’m sure she’d have fun. I can be a bit cocky and she often likes to win arguments so I just know she’d enjoy this!

Speaking from experience, tell her it's all about her from here on out. Whatever she wants, needs, etc. Going forward she will get to decide about things. All things... You also need to give her a list of things she does normally from day to day that should be tasked to you instead. Dishwashing, clothes, house cleanliness, etc.. Once you show you are willing to walk the walk then she may allow you to pleasure her in whatever way she desires. Don't talk to her about it, just do it. Don't act weird (you know what I mean). And start complimenting her more on everything. Not too over the top. The point is to get her to see and feel as sexy as you see her. Occasionally compliment her on her outfits, hair, kindness, etc. Do everything you can to avoid fights. Any fights are your fault for not noticing the trigger signs before the argument. After awhile start to act effeminate in minor ways. Maybe you don't sit wide legged anymore, etc. During sexy time, really notice when she plays with your nipples or in any way does something girly to you. It's taken me forever and I'm now in panties 24x7, shaved, in self-imposed chastity/butt-plug and I'm expected to have my face next to her pussy as she comes from her favorite toy. She now refers to me as "sissy cumslut" (and recently 'whore') during sex and tells me how much I want cock, but only during sex. We have a lot of family members around and she doesn't want anyone to know. One day everyone will move out and I think things will drastically change. Hopefully I will be able to handle all the changes as I initiated this journey. Think about what you are doing and hopefully your Goddess is as kind and compassionate as mine. Good luck.

 

[Hersubbyhubby]

I have a suggestion. Make space for chastity to be about something other than sex.

Buy a cheap medal device that fits well. Practice wearing it for a few hours at a time so you know it won't cause too much pain.

Put it on Friday. Then prepare a candle lit massage for your wife with chocolate covered strawberries. Then tell her you have a big confession to make, that you have been bad. Show her the device and tell her could not help yourself, you wanted to try chastity to see how it feels. She will probably be relieved you are a perv (which she already knew) and not confessing to something worse.

So announce that you will be wearing the device all weekend. And you will be holding the key, keeping safe and clean, and she doesn't have to do anything.

Tell her that you have been wearing it for "sometime", ask her when the last time you had sex is ( or she saw you naked). Just don't tell her how long, just say "you didn't notice? Don't worry about it sweety".

Then announce, "I am wearing this until Monday morning. The problem is the device is making me insatiable, I can't get your sexy body out of my mind. It's driving me a little crazy!! But I can't have sex or orgasm!! So I want to give you a full body massage tonight. Do you want lotion or coco butter?"

Basically you need to impart that you are going to see it through. And that you will be channeling the sexual energy into non-sexual things out of desperate desire for wife.

Then do those things - breakfast in bed, clean, take the kids, special snacks, laundry, foot rubs each night. You should know what she likes. Make the entire weekend about her and not about sex, as if you are treating her to your first Valentine's Day together.

She doesn't like oral, so don't even go there. Don't touch her sexually unless she asks for it. Snuggle and kiss her for hours if she wants. Ignore the hammer on your pants, and you will make her comfortable with chastity.

Right now she thinks the chastity is a weird thing for you. Own the weird and make it about her. But don't ask, just do it.

 

[CorvoAttano61]

I’m sure there are plenty of these type of posts. Some background here;

I’ve been with my wife since I was 17. Im 42 now. She’s my world. We have beautiful kids . We have a typical husband wife relationship, I’m fairly lazy, I often get told off, I absolutely know she has a dominant streak in her but sexually she is very vanilla. I’m awful at sex and she’s my only partner I’ve ever had. I climax within minutes and although unfulfilled she likes our intamacy. We only do it missionary. I’m dying to be put into chastity but just do not know how to bring it up. My gut feeling is she’ll shut it down straight away without listening to me or looking into it.

Do I maybe speak to a friend of hers?

Do I wear a cage in the hope my attitude to choirs change and she finally asks what’s up with me lately ? Then reveal it?

Straight up just chat to her about it? Risking me coming across weird ?

Any help greatly appreciated

Just be honest with her.

 

[Woodys Locked Up]

I have a suggestion. Make space for chastity to be about something other than sex.

Buy a cheap medal device that fits well. Practice wearing it for a few hours at a time so you know it won't cause too much pain.

Put it on Friday. Then prepare a candle lit massage for your wife with chocolate covered strawberries. Then tell her you have a big confession to make, that you have been bad. Show her the device and tell her could not help yourself, you wanted to try chastity to see how it feels. She will probably be relieved you are a perv (which she already knew) and not confessing to something worse.

So announce that you will be wearing the device all weekend. And you will be holding the key, keeping safe and clean, and she doesn't have to do anything.

Tell her that you have been wearing it for "sometime", ask her when the last time you had sex is ( or she saw you naked). Just don't tell her how long, just say "you didn't notice? Don't worry about it sweety".

Then announce, "I am wearing this until Monday morning. The problem is the device is making me insatiable, I can't get your sexy body out of my mind. It's driving me a little crazy!! But I can't have sex or orgasm!! So I want to give you a full body massage tonight. Do you want lotion or coco butter?"

Basically you need to impart that you are going to see it through. And that you will be channeling the sexual energy into non-sexual things out of desperate desire for wife.

Then do those things - breakfast in bed, clean, take the kids, special snacks, laundry, foot rubs each night. You should know what she likes. Make the entire weekend about her and not about sex, as if you are treating her to your first Valentine's Day together.

She doesn't like oral, so don't even go there. Don't touch her sexually unless she asks for it. Snuggle and kiss her for hours if she wants. Ignore the hammer on your pants, and you will make her comfortable with chastity.

Right now she thinks the chastity is a weird thing for you. Own the weird and make it about her. But don't ask, just do it.

This is really good! Maybe you should post more often!

 

[John&Ann]

For what's it worth. Don't give up your masculinity. If I was giving that up, no way would my wife ever go for it. Male Chastity doesn't require men to become weak like the Internet shoves down our throats.

Awful at sex can always be worked on instead of giving up and accepting that term related to yourself. Part of this for us was for me to focus on her and become better. I may understand that I can learn to be better at something, but I'll never accept it's just the way it is because then it becomes an excuse.

For me to pick a name like Sissy John would be a negative confession and if that was my goal, Ann would have never gone for me becoming a sissy. Odds are if your wife married a man that's what she wants

If your wife married a man in her mind, keep giving that to her because you said you loved her and maybe she might be willing to use male chastity to aid you to be even better.

My 2 cents worth.

 

[chasteandcold]

Awful at sex can always be worked on instead of giving up and accepting that term related to yourself.

Ya, this part I don't get.
Think this guy maybe in his own head too much, and that ain't anything strangers on the Internet is going to fix.

 

[Herman]

I had many of the same trepidations, worries, concerns, as many here have talked about. It took me a year or so to get the courage to broach the subject to my wife of 52 years. It did not go well initially. But it did plant a seed. It took me another 3-4 months to bring up the subject again (she did admit to thinking about it a little since our last conversation). I tried to articulate the benefits of chastity to her in the best ways I could. I finally came up with one that made her smile - I asked her how many times over the last few years has she agreed to have PIV sex, when she really wasn't in the mood. She grudgingly said more often then not she agreed to have sex because she would feel guilty if she said no (some folks here have called it "obligation sex"). I explained to her that if I was wearing a cage, and she agreed to hold the key, then we would only have PIV sex when she felt like it. I also explained that saying no to me would not upset me, in fact, just the opposite. It took a bit of time to convince her to try and see. She agreed, and within a couple of weeks she told me I could only take the cage off once a day in the shower to clean it and me, and then right back on. That was about 6 months ago. She has now bought me several new cages. She told me yesterday that she sees a difference in me, nothing huge, but the little things I do for her that she really likes (I always tried to be an attentive husband). Our sex life has never been better. She now enjoys me going down on her, and she has no problem rolling over and going to sleep. She has gotten quite good at teasing me because she no longer has to 'worry' about it going any further than she wants it to. She is happy, I'm happy, life is good when your locked!