very confused, need lots of help, PLEASE!!!

Bliss

Bliss

Junior Member
Mar 5, 2009
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hello A/all!
my name is bliss and I'm the proud new owner of a cb-3000. I bought it as an anniversary gift for my Wife and it came tuesday (3 MAR 09). I've been locked-up tight since, but my Wife did let me out last night so that I could service Her.
a little about me; i'm 33 and have been interested/participating in bdsm in some form or another for about fifteen years now. until recently i had acted/thought i was a Dom. i very recently (3 MAR 09)discovered that i was way wrong. i have been trying to get my Wife into some kind of bdsm since we've been together, about 3 1/2 years. as a last ditch effort to spark Her curiosity, and to put some spark back into O/our love life, i ordered a cb-3000 as Her anniversary gift.
when it came in I assembled it, did as much as I could to size it properly, and put it on...all but the lock. i called Her into the bedroom telling Her that i had finally received the rest of Her gift (i had already given Her the keys to the lock i was going to use on O/our anniversary which was 1 MAR 09). when She came into the bedroom and laid on the bed i handed Her the lock, to which i got a confused look. i stripped down showing/explaining Her gift to Her. i then asked Her if She would please lock me up and keep the keys, to which She timidly agreed.
at first i don't think She was really too keen about the idea, but i am very glad to say that in the two days since She seems to really have embraced and begun to love the idea! as far as me; like i said, until then i thought i was a Dom, but the minute She locked me in I knew... nothing has ever felt so good, so right...i love it! i love the fact that She seems to be getting comfortable and excited by it more and more everyday! i love how it feels to know that i'm under Her control, at Her disposal, only functioning to bring Her pleasure. i would go so far as to say that if there is heaven on earth that i have just entered the pearly gates!
my next project is to try to get Her to make some rules for me. right now W/we've only gotten so far as to have me locked up and the occasional inference on Her part that I had better do as i'm told or i will remain locked up longer than She had planned. i'd also like to see Her evolving more into the role of a Domme/Mistress. i'm pretty open-minded and, if told, would do damn near anything She commanded without thought or arguement. i never thought i would hear myself say this, but i guess basically i want to be Her little slave bitch in every since of the word. my only question to A/all of Y/y'all is wouldn't this be considered Topping from the bottom? i've thought about it a lot since tuesday and i can make countless arguements for either side, and the last thing i want to do is to be disrespectful to Her in any way for any reason. what do i do? how can i help Her to explore and grow and (hopefully) become the Mistress from hell for me?
any ideas, advice, suggestions, words of support and encouragement would be so greatly appreciated.


most humbly,
bliss
 
Dear bliss... welcome to the site!

Congratulations on presenting yourself to your wife and being accepted as her submissive.

The only advice I can give you in these very early days is to let her explore in her own way and own time. Anything more could be seen as topping... something I feel you should avoid from the beginning.

Be very very careful what you wish for... these things can overtake the women in your life... :manga_champers:
 
if she is really interested, then suggest that she read some of the blogs on here. She may not be 100% sure how to go forward (though it sounds like she has more ideas than you realize) and reading the blogs let her know that she is not alone.
 
I have to say...in the beginning when you are first starting out I would not consider helpful suggestions to be topping. Its a learning process and helping her navigate through obstacles would be helpful. Have her sign up here at the Mansion, its the best site available and she will be in good hands here.

Mistress Michelle :sex020:
 
I agree with Mistress Michelle here.

My Mistress, Mistress.K, and I have had very detailed conversations about what we both want out of my new device (of course, when i say what I want.. it's actually what she wants..).

But the point here is that Mistress.K needs to know where my limits are, where my desires are, where my thoughts are, etc. It's up to her whether she uses my thoughts and suggestions, and i would never ever expect her to follow my suggestions. But at least she knows what's going through my head.

I think the very thin line is when you try work it so you get what you want.

That's my two cents... but be careful what you wish for.. :heart:

gabby :cat:
 
I would suggest that you and her read the book, “Male Chastity, A Guide for Keyholders” by Lucy Fairbourne together, and talk about it. It sounds like she is not clear, on what you are wishing for, and as a new k/h, this book will open up some interesting discussions.

My wife, k/h, read it together, and talked about our ideas, but as they say, "be careful for what you wish for!"
 
thank Y/y'all for all the advice, and keep it coming, please! i will try what has been suggested here, but don't know if it will ever go anywhere past where it is now :( She just seems really "ehh..." about the whole thing... :( :( :(
 
Why don't you suggest that the two of you sit down and make up some rules (just for fun). Maybe but an initial limit of 10 so she doesn't feel like she's being dragged into something more than she can handle. You could take turns suggesting rules. If she is not used to dominating you she will probably want the process to be equal. You should be able to figure out from her suggestions for rules what degree of domination or control she wants or thinks she can handle initially. From your suggestions she may get ideas she hasn't thought of and tips to what you want to do in the lifestyle. Take is slowly and over time you both can joke about what might be added to the rules. Keep it light and humorous and gradually she should be able to see where the fun and enjoyment will be for her. This is such an exciting period when new things are being tried I really envy both of you. Keep us posted on your progress and please publish your list for us to read.
 
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