Yes. You may be right. Now my wife and I are basically vanilla folks too in most ways, but like any modern thinking married couple, like a little kink. She’s more seriously talking about denial than ever before. We both like the whole naughty O denial dynamic but my wife is totally on board if it means a happier marriage.
Well today is January 10th.....
- Thread starter denied_one
- Start date
I am jealous and I wish I could take those feelings off you for a while. I'm sitting here, quite comfortable as I type that I doubt I will have an orgasm in 2025 just as I didn't in 2024. I am really wishing I were suffering more. I would be a better husband.
Peace!
Some of my wife's comments and actions also show a true commitment to this denied_one. I think that our house becoming an empty nest last year probably made my wife more comfortable with exploring my interest in the kink, and her own. One of the first rules she made was that she was in charge of the sex and intimacy if we were going to play the game. She has little interest in dominating outside the bedroom because we basically work together and some things she decides and others I decide. But before making a commitment to chastity and denial play (we tried off and on for over a decade), I had to agree to her authority over intimacy, which I did.
There may be other changes for 2025. My wife/KH told me wants us to have a leisurely day tomorrow to go out to a breakfast place we like, and then later discuss where she would like to take orgasm denial, where I want it to go, and where we have common ground. I've been put on notice that she wants "No baloney about Yes Mistress or No Mistress comments tomorrow." She wants a mature discussion as husband and wife. She was totally up front and said, "I like to deny you and I know you like it or you would have never for it, so I want to make sure we're both on the same page" or words to that effect. My comment is added because she was fine with me posting it while some anonymity is maintained. She may not ultimately want too much in the way details posted, so she says, and I will honor it.
In my experience, this is clearly good.
It also means a couple of things.
1. She will want you caged all the time, unless She wants it off, She without a doubt loves the cage and loves. No ABSOLUTELY loves controlling your erections. The cage does that.
2. She is very nurturing and She will want to help you through this and She wants you two "on the same page" because you two are on the SAME TEAM.
That is how She will approach this in Her mind, as a team effort. She will want to HELP you along the way if him are honest with Her and communicate your needs. Communicate, not pester
She’s fast asleep and I’m wide awake thinking about tomorrow with excitement and worry. Before sleep my wife said she’s never been happier and felt almost like she was back in college (playful and popular gal when I first knew her).
You could be right. She was even always somewhat worried about my prostate later, when we began just light playing with orgasm denial when we were in our 40s. Now in our 50s it’s obvious her confidence is higher and maybe worries are less. She’s open to new things too, She might be very comfortable with it all now.
I'm still at zero. Probably will be a couple weeks for my first O of the year.
I thought my Wife had gone crazy, she gave me two full orgasms on January 31st, and I haven’t been unlocked since other than once a week deep clean and shave. She is of course having an orgasm every night before bed and I’m not expecting much of anything until my bday in a couple weeks. Maybe I’ll get a handjob tease session and possibly a ruin then. I’m expecting 2025 to be more strict than last, that’s been the pattern since 2019 and neither of us see a reason to go easier now
Same...idk when...maybe Valentine's Day...maybe not....not for awhile I know that much
1. My wife wants to be a keyholder in a positive way rather than an abusive one Yes, her longer range vision is to keep me locked all the time (gulp!) since we both like the idea. She also believes jumping into it too quickly will result in failure. My wife feels that at some point I'd get too upset or frustrated and want out. She wants this to work moving forward.
2. My wife's aim is to accomplish this in increments. We'll carry on as we have been now up to our anniversary in June, which is a year after we started this retry. Then, I have to accept the fact that there will be far fewer orgasms just around the corner, but there will be more leniency on other things (materials for artwork I do, the two of us going out more frequently to nice restaurants, or on trips or with friends and so on). My wife doesn't want me to become miserable and give up.
She proposed experimenting with more teasing and occasional PIV intimacy, but almost never not allowing happy endings. It's naughty, but will teach more ontrol. Eventually, there would NEVER be an orgasm from these activities, sadly. She sees this as a sacrifice I should be willing to make since we are getting older. There are other personal things we touched on. I won't share them here, except that a device for far longer wear will be purchased and a regular acknowledgement that she is boss is expected from me.
After another year goes by she'll propose more control.
The real power to end chastity and denial play is all mine in her opinion. But, if I want an end, it won't restart again. She doesn't want more infomation givne at this point but we have mutually agreed to this general plan.
Wow that sounds amazingly well thought out.
Good luck, but you two really have a good thing moving forward it sounds like.
Thanks for the response!
My wife is the highly analytical type. I’m a bit nervous about a couple of the things she discussed, but she was open to my concerns and I didn’t want to put up too much resistance. I certainly trust her but don’t want to discourage surprises either.
Really?? Care to share what those things are at all?
That is very encouraging!
Spot on. Dont dissuade! Good show!
Given then the knowledge that you two have engaged in chastity play for over a decade, has this been an issue previously? Getting upset and bad frustrated, and wanting out?
Yes, but I know my wife wasn't as motivated as right now because we worried that we still didn't have the privacy to be naughty at home until last year. We never defined how far we wanted to go, or maybe it was how far my wife wanted to participate as the KH. That caused me frustration and uncertainty. Now it appears she finally wants to go up to a permanent locked arrangement for me. Even my wife admitted, in the past, that a chastity device on a man and orgasm denial seemed so unfair. She also worried about hurting me. So we'd quit and we'd put it on hold. Now those feelings changed. BCWYWF
"Really?? Care to share what those things are at all?"
No, she insists on me NOT releasing too much, and prefers not to micromanage posts/comments. I can admit that she's reading chastity posts on the internet and repeated what many of us have probably heard: she reserves the absolute right to change the rules of the game to keep things spontaneous or maybe to keep things unpredictable.
