Caged Wolf? How an Alpha became the Omega...
- Thread starter Caged Wolf
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Healing is going pretty well, not as fast as i would like, but the surgical superglue they put me back together with is all gone finally, scar doesn't look too bad. Still have a little pulling/sharp pain if I suck in my gut to button jeans, or if I stretch too far. i know i've been doing more than i'm supposed to, but i just am not the type to sit on the couch (or floor in my case) and do nothing for weeks...
It has been doubly hard the past week, as my dad was in the hospital with a viral respiratory problem last week, went home on Friday, but still isn't doing well. He also has heart and lung issues, major arthritis issues, etc, and is all alone at the house since mom died last year. My brother took care of things while dad was in the hospital (he lives an hour away vs my 5-6 hours trip), but dad has been alone for the past week. It has been so hard not being able to go help him...
I don't know how much longer i'll have him here, and it is so difficult to watch your parents health failing, knowing you have to let them go when the time comes. Mistress Wolf and i had a long talk last night about this, and how it is affecting me. i feel like i being pulled in two different directions, i need to be here to serve Her and take care of things here, but my dad needs me there, too. i am well enough to make the trip now, with rest stops every couple of hours, and Mistress Wolf directed that i need to go in to the Surgery clinic and get checked over. If they give me the thumbs up i can go down and spend a few days with dad next week. I won't be allowed to do much around the place, as i am still on a 20 pound lift limit, but i can at least be there as company for him, help with the animals, and drive him to appointments, etc.
How have other sub's dealt with this balancing act, especially when the parent doesn't know about the D/s - FLR relationship?
It has been doubly hard the past week, as my dad was in the hospital with a viral respiratory problem last week, went home on Friday, but still isn't doing well. He also has heart and lung issues, major arthritis issues, etc, and is all alone at the house since mom died last year. My brother took care of things while dad was in the hospital (he lives an hour away vs my 5-6 hours trip), but dad has been alone for the past week. It has been so hard not being able to go help him...
I don't know how much longer i'll have him here, and it is so difficult to watch your parents health failing, knowing you have to let them go when the time comes. Mistress Wolf and i had a long talk last night about this, and how it is affecting me. i feel like i being pulled in two different directions, i need to be here to serve Her and take care of things here, but my dad needs me there, too. i am well enough to make the trip now, with rest stops every couple of hours, and Mistress Wolf directed that i need to go in to the Surgery clinic and get checked over. If they give me the thumbs up i can go down and spend a few days with dad next week. I won't be allowed to do much around the place, as i am still on a 20 pound lift limit, but i can at least be there as company for him, help with the animals, and drive him to appointments, etc.
How have other sub's dealt with this balancing act, especially when the parent doesn't know about the D/s - FLR relationship?
I totally get you on the 5 or 6 hours to a parent thing. My dad lives conveniently near Heathrow Airport but with the drive from here to the airport in Germany, the wait, the flight and then getting to his house via public transport would take at least the same. I don't particularly get on with him, never did, luckily I have a brother and sister who never left the home town and they look after him.
My Mother on the other hand I would have bent over backwards to help. It's been over ten years now since she died, I miss her so much.
My Mum I would have been able to talk to about this, she was really open and down to earth. My Dad, forget it. But if I had to do something for him my Wife would let me, she is very independent from her family but also understands they are important.
My Mother on the other hand I would have bent over backwards to help. It's been over ten years now since she died, I miss her so much.
My Mum I would have been able to talk to about this, she was really open and down to earth. My Dad, forget it. But if I had to do something for him my Wife would let me, she is very independent from her family but also understands they are important.
Glad you are healing well too. Hang in there, that is a tough situation. Hopefully things go as well as possible for you, under the circumstances.
Hello Wolf.
Glad to hear you are doing well. WOW...I could really go on about this. We moved my widowed Dad in with us 6 years ago when he had a horrific tussle with pneumonia which nearly killed him and severely damaged his already failing lungs (COPD). My father was my best buddy my entire life. The toughest, yet most fair man I knew. We carried on our lifestyle with him in our home discreetly and privately and yes it did add to the monkeywrench children put into the intimacy of a couple. More and more hospital stays each year, longer rehabs at home with me his main caregiver with my incredibly understanding Wife/Mistress/Keyholders help. He became a part of our family dynamic. Such an easy-going, fun, cool guy. I do not regret having him move in with us. The good times we all shared under our roof and on simple excursions with us and our summer vacation each year are memories I will never forget. The big picture for me--for us, was he was my Dad and my best friend and I was finally giving back. I felt like a corner man and trainer for a World Champion boxer. He would get knocked down and I would will him back to the corner to recover and fight another round (very well I might add--quit did not exist in his vocabulary). Each time it got tougher but he was a gallant brawler until his last year in 2014...he went out reluctantly the last 2 times before his final round...I knew something was different...and so did he but he would not say it...he hinted that he thought his final knockdown was lurking but I refused to believe him...I kept up my hard line rah-rah corner tactics but the message was lost. He went into the hospital one last time to never come home again. His final stay lasted over a month and was filled with one unrelated complication after another when he finally asked to "throw the towel". I was crestfallen; we all were. He lived his final 2 days as a hospice patient doing it his way; the first in the hospital, and his final in a nice hospice facility. He just stopped...his life ended with his will to fight gone even tho the doctors felt he was poised for yet another improbable comeback. God, I miss him more than words can express. I miss my Mom too, but in a different kind of way. I thank God I made him a priority and ultimately took him in after my Mom died. I know you know the bigger picture Wolf and will choose wisely for you and your loved ones. God Bless you and heed your hearts and lifes call.
allaboutHer
Glad to hear you are doing well. WOW...I could really go on about this. We moved my widowed Dad in with us 6 years ago when he had a horrific tussle with pneumonia which nearly killed him and severely damaged his already failing lungs (COPD). My father was my best buddy my entire life. The toughest, yet most fair man I knew. We carried on our lifestyle with him in our home discreetly and privately and yes it did add to the monkeywrench children put into the intimacy of a couple. More and more hospital stays each year, longer rehabs at home with me his main caregiver with my incredibly understanding Wife/Mistress/Keyholders help. He became a part of our family dynamic. Such an easy-going, fun, cool guy. I do not regret having him move in with us. The good times we all shared under our roof and on simple excursions with us and our summer vacation each year are memories I will never forget. The big picture for me--for us, was he was my Dad and my best friend and I was finally giving back. I felt like a corner man and trainer for a World Champion boxer. He would get knocked down and I would will him back to the corner to recover and fight another round (very well I might add--quit did not exist in his vocabulary). Each time it got tougher but he was a gallant brawler until his last year in 2014...he went out reluctantly the last 2 times before his final round...I knew something was different...and so did he but he would not say it...he hinted that he thought his final knockdown was lurking but I refused to believe him...I kept up my hard line rah-rah corner tactics but the message was lost. He went into the hospital one last time to never come home again. His final stay lasted over a month and was filled with one unrelated complication after another when he finally asked to "throw the towel". I was crestfallen; we all were. He lived his final 2 days as a hospice patient doing it his way; the first in the hospital, and his final in a nice hospice facility. He just stopped...his life ended with his will to fight gone even tho the doctors felt he was poised for yet another improbable comeback. God, I miss him more than words can express. I miss my Mom too, but in a different kind of way. I thank God I made him a priority and ultimately took him in after my Mom died. I know you know the bigger picture Wolf and will choose wisely for you and your loved ones. God Bless you and heed your hearts and lifes call.
allaboutHer
Thank you @Jasmic68 and @allaboutHer
Here's one of the problems/issues... Dad has always been a very gruff person, very much his way, maybe because he was the oldest son of a old school farmer, always pushed more than the rest and it made him bitter his entire life. Nothing is good enough, and worse, if someone, say Little One, does not respond as he wants he will push them away, then open up and expect it to be the same as it was before.
Mistress Wolf and dad get along okay, but when She is not there he will tell me how i should be running the house differently, making Her find a job, etc. And Little One... she and dad were inseparable until about 3 years ago when she wanted to go with us to help mom at Fair instead of spending the week with dad as before. Dad never forgave her, and now "tolerates" her, still loves her very much, but will not open himself up because she hurt his feelings. With me we talk about anything and everything, but when there are differences (relationships, politics, ideologies, wolves, etc) he will stop me when I'm talking to push his point, and not listen to my side, we just move on to the next topic.
This is why I have been going down there alone, and having to come up with reasons (school, cold, etc), and each time dad comments about the fact that they don't want to come. There is no way he would move in with us, and that would be a miserable situation. He doesn't go out or do anything, has a little group of other old guys he has coffee with a couple of times a week when he feels good, but beyond that has no life.
I think dad is part of the reason I was always pushing as an Alpha, pushing myself, and pushing everyone around me, to do only their best, then a little more.... I see many of the personality traits, the learned ways of doing things, and that is part of what makes my submission so difficult but but also so important. i am breaking a cycle of life, and creating a new one, while relearning how to deal with emotions and express myself in positive ways. i love my dad, but it's a screwed up "love me my way, or don't at all" kind of thing. That is what makes it SO hard...
When I am down there Mistress Wolf and I text and talk throughout the day, it's what keeps me in a place to deal with it without dumping on dad. Dad will make comments about our communication ("tied to that phone?", etc), but deep down i know it's also because it makes him miss mom that much more. i know he misses mom and is still mad that she left him alone like this, he has not really been able to grieve because of things that have happened, and some other things we found out about after mom died. It's a mess....
i know i'm dumping a lot here that is not really CM D/s stuff, but it is my life and affects the FLR D/s relationship on a root level.
thanks for reading, commenting, etc.. Time to wake Mistress Wolf for the day, she has school (which is not going well... last required class to finish her degree, and it's not going well right now... ) yes, there is a lot going on...
Here's one of the problems/issues... Dad has always been a very gruff person, very much his way, maybe because he was the oldest son of a old school farmer, always pushed more than the rest and it made him bitter his entire life. Nothing is good enough, and worse, if someone, say Little One, does not respond as he wants he will push them away, then open up and expect it to be the same as it was before.
Mistress Wolf and dad get along okay, but when She is not there he will tell me how i should be running the house differently, making Her find a job, etc. And Little One... she and dad were inseparable until about 3 years ago when she wanted to go with us to help mom at Fair instead of spending the week with dad as before. Dad never forgave her, and now "tolerates" her, still loves her very much, but will not open himself up because she hurt his feelings. With me we talk about anything and everything, but when there are differences (relationships, politics, ideologies, wolves, etc) he will stop me when I'm talking to push his point, and not listen to my side, we just move on to the next topic.
This is why I have been going down there alone, and having to come up with reasons (school, cold, etc), and each time dad comments about the fact that they don't want to come. There is no way he would move in with us, and that would be a miserable situation. He doesn't go out or do anything, has a little group of other old guys he has coffee with a couple of times a week when he feels good, but beyond that has no life.
I think dad is part of the reason I was always pushing as an Alpha, pushing myself, and pushing everyone around me, to do only their best, then a little more.... I see many of the personality traits, the learned ways of doing things, and that is part of what makes my submission so difficult but but also so important. i am breaking a cycle of life, and creating a new one, while relearning how to deal with emotions and express myself in positive ways. i love my dad, but it's a screwed up "love me my way, or don't at all" kind of thing. That is what makes it SO hard...
When I am down there Mistress Wolf and I text and talk throughout the day, it's what keeps me in a place to deal with it without dumping on dad. Dad will make comments about our communication ("tied to that phone?", etc), but deep down i know it's also because it makes him miss mom that much more. i know he misses mom and is still mad that she left him alone like this, he has not really been able to grieve because of things that have happened, and some other things we found out about after mom died. It's a mess....
i know i'm dumping a lot here that is not really CM D/s stuff, but it is my life and affects the FLR D/s relationship on a root level.
thanks for reading, commenting, etc.. Time to wake Mistress Wolf for the day, she has school (which is not going well... last required class to finish her degree, and it's not going well right now... ) yes, there is a lot going on...
Dump away, treat us like free therapy! These thoughts and feelings are better expressed than bottled up.
My Dad has never been a people person and is awful at communicating. My Mum was larger than life, involved in the community and loved by everyone. She was definitely in charge in that house, maybe that is one of the reasons I am so happy in my version of an FLR.
To put the type of man my father is into perspective here's just one story, one of many.
My mother loved my two boys, doted on them. She had toys for when they visited which my dad hated as they made a mess. He couldn't see they made both my boys and my mum happy. When she died, after she was cremated, we visited my dad. It turned out to be the only time we ever did with my youngest son.
He went into the room the toys had been kept in and my dad said "I don't know why you're going in there, there's nothin in there."
He had thrown the lot away.
My son sat on the sofa, his hands between his knees, rocking backwards and forwards in obvious distress. I was absolutely furious and I have never forgiven my father for that. He didn't even ask if we wanted the toys, he just threw them out. He also threw out all my mothers baking equipment, all the trays and bowls and so on I had learnt to cook with. No thought that anyone else might want them.
I don't think he did it maliciously, but that isn't a good thing. He never thinks about anyone else.
I wouldn't listen to my dad if he had any opinions about my relationship with my Wife. I wish we had a better relationship but there you go, it is what it is.
I think you are doing what you can in difficult circumstances and it is good you have that link with your father. I don't have any advice, just acknowledgement that many of us have similar problems.
Do you know the Philip Larkin poem about parents? If you don't I recommend you look it up. It is certainly worth a read.
My Dad has never been a people person and is awful at communicating. My Mum was larger than life, involved in the community and loved by everyone. She was definitely in charge in that house, maybe that is one of the reasons I am so happy in my version of an FLR.
To put the type of man my father is into perspective here's just one story, one of many.
My mother loved my two boys, doted on them. She had toys for when they visited which my dad hated as they made a mess. He couldn't see they made both my boys and my mum happy. When she died, after she was cremated, we visited my dad. It turned out to be the only time we ever did with my youngest son.
He went into the room the toys had been kept in and my dad said "I don't know why you're going in there, there's nothin in there."
He had thrown the lot away.
My son sat on the sofa, his hands between his knees, rocking backwards and forwards in obvious distress. I was absolutely furious and I have never forgiven my father for that. He didn't even ask if we wanted the toys, he just threw them out. He also threw out all my mothers baking equipment, all the trays and bowls and so on I had learnt to cook with. No thought that anyone else might want them.
I don't think he did it maliciously, but that isn't a good thing. He never thinks about anyone else.
I wouldn't listen to my dad if he had any opinions about my relationship with my Wife. I wish we had a better relationship but there you go, it is what it is.
I think you are doing what you can in difficult circumstances and it is good you have that link with your father. I don't have any advice, just acknowledgement that many of us have similar problems.
Do you know the Philip Larkin poem about parents? If you don't I recommend you look it up. It is certainly worth a read.
45 days since last allowed to pleasure Mistress Wolf, keep hoping and thinking "maybe today/tonight" already past our regular bed time, so not going to happen tonight... Life is good, healing physically, Her last required class is not going well at all, dad is not doing well...
It just occurred to me that the roller coaster you warned me about might still be affecting you. In fact it sounds like it definitely is. One of those twists and turns you get when you think all the fun is over, maybe not as wild and invigorating as the early ones, but still 'interesting' nonetheless. In one way I suppose it is good that life has parcelled up all these issues at one time for you to get over. It probably doesn't feel like it to you but hopefully your medical issues will be resolved around the same time your Mistress' last class for school is finished is. While I hesitate to add your father to the list of things that are a problem that can be resolved I think you understand what I mean. At least then you will only have one issue to deal with where at the moment you have multiple.
I think you know that at the very least your new attitude towards your Wife and Mistress must be making her life better and easier for her. Imagine how things would be right now had you never started along this path of realigning your roles and responsibilities? It is also true that the 45 days is the same period of time she has gone without being pleasured by you, so she also is missing out.
Stay strong. You can do this.
I think you know that at the very least your new attitude towards your Wife and Mistress must be making her life better and easier for her. Imagine how things would be right now had you never started along this path of realigning your roles and responsibilities? It is also true that the 45 days is the same period of time she has gone without being pleasured by you, so she also is missing out.
Stay strong. You can do this.
I can't speak for Mistress Wolf, obviously, but I have noticed that I'm feeling extremely stressed and worried, my libido decreases.
of course, orgasms do help relieve stress, but it can be hard to get there when stressed. So it becomes a cycle, sadly. Again, at least for me. Other ladies probably differ.
In any case, I hope you feel better soon, @Caged Wolf !!
of course, orgasms do help relieve stress, but it can be hard to get there when stressed. So it becomes a cycle, sadly. Again, at least for me. Other ladies probably differ.
In any case, I hope you feel better soon, @Caged Wolf !!
@MistressPhedre Thank you Mistress for that comment. My Mistress and mine find that stress does to ours as well and usually stress and children cause any attempt at flr to break. Yes I'm still collared and love her but I'm not locked and being intimate happens when we are both not stressed.
Stay strong @Caged Wolf
Hugs
Lucy x
Stay strong @Caged Wolf
Hugs
Lucy x
This is perhaps a sexual example of Men from Mars Women from Venus. For men the best stress buster would be a damn good sex session, of whatever type our wishes desire. In our environment probably a fabulous tease and denial session with lots of orgasms for our mistress until she is in a complete orgasmic mess followed by a ruined orgasm for us and being told to lock ourselves back up. For women though stress puts the idea of sex out of the question. I know that my Wife and I fit that stereotype.
@MistressPhedre , @Lucy , and @Jasmic68
Thank you all for your thoughts and understanding. i know the stress of the current situation is not conducive to sexual play, and that, in itself, is as frustrating as any T&D....
IMHO, our relationship is actually stronger than ever right now, and Mistress Wolf is still very much in charge. i am leaving this morning to go down and help dad for a few days, and last night as we were going to bed Mistress Wolf told me "IF you go down there and get hurt I'm going to kick your ass!". i know Mistress has said She would "probably" never use corporal punishment, but from Her choice of words, and tone of voice, i wonder if she would or not... i definitely do not want to find out, so i will follow the rules and limits currently imposed while i heal.
i really do not want to go, but i need to go see what is really going on, and to take care of a few things that i am able to (doing some house cleaning and mowing the yard), things dad has not been able to take care of for the past couple of weeks. He also has a couple of appointments, and i am concerned about him driving that much in his current condition. Talking with my brother, and with dad, if he doesn't start feeling and actually GETTING better soon.... don't even want to think out losing dad this soon after losing mom...
Anyway, lots to do this am before leaving, ad i will not have internet until i am home again... if you have a moment please send a positive thought, prayer, or energy for Mistress Wolf, dad, and myself this week...
Thank you all for your thoughts and understanding. i know the stress of the current situation is not conducive to sexual play, and that, in itself, is as frustrating as any T&D....
IMHO, our relationship is actually stronger than ever right now, and Mistress Wolf is still very much in charge. i am leaving this morning to go down and help dad for a few days, and last night as we were going to bed Mistress Wolf told me "IF you go down there and get hurt I'm going to kick your ass!". i know Mistress has said She would "probably" never use corporal punishment, but from Her choice of words, and tone of voice, i wonder if she would or not... i definitely do not want to find out, so i will follow the rules and limits currently imposed while i heal.
i really do not want to go, but i need to go see what is really going on, and to take care of a few things that i am able to (doing some house cleaning and mowing the yard), things dad has not been able to take care of for the past couple of weeks. He also has a couple of appointments, and i am concerned about him driving that much in his current condition. Talking with my brother, and with dad, if he doesn't start feeling and actually GETTING better soon.... don't even want to think out losing dad this soon after losing mom...
Anyway, lots to do this am before leaving, ad i will not have internet until i am home again... if you have a moment please send a positive thought, prayer, or energy for Mistress Wolf, dad, and myself this week...
Back home today, 5 1/2 drive (with required rest stops).. pretty good visit actually. Will post tomorrow... trying to catch up on everyting right now.
So, Mistress Wolf was not 100% okay with me going to visit dad, but understood that i needed to g, both for dad and for myself. She was (rightly) concerned that i would over do it and end up hut, or worse, undo the whole surgery. She knows how i am, even as i try to change myself.
Trip down Monday went well, easy traffic, nice weather, etc. Got there and saw the condition Dad was in... not good. Should have still been in the hospital, but they hadn't even treated the problem in the 4 days he was laid up so he checked himself out and went home. i believe just being there with him helped, as did making sure he ate, stayed hydrated, and got up and moved around some. Had a couple of dr's appointments that i went to with him, did some needed shopping, mowed the yard again, cleaned on the house some, etc., but mainly just was there to be there for him, talk to him, etc.
It was a pretty good visit, tense at times, as we have fundamental differences of opinions on relationships, politics, etc., but got thru those topics and had some other really good, if slightly depressing conversations about family, Mom, growing up, etc. By the time i left Thursday he looked and felt better, had proper meds to finally knock out the infection he's been fighting for 2 weeks now, and has an improved appetite.
Through the week Mistress Wolf and i communicated via text and phone calls, no further instructions or demands, other than drive safe, no real discussion about relationship, etc, beyond my replies of "Yes dear" and "you are the boss".. Trip home went pretty good, caught the start of rush hour traffic thru the major metro area, but only lost about 30 minutes due to the heavy traffic. Got home, unloaded the truck, unpacked and sorted laundry, grabbed a quick shower, and took Mistress and Little One out to dinner. Was kind of hoping for some funtime after Little One went to bed, but Mistress was working on the homework for Her Statistics class and studying for the exam this week. BUT, it's so very good to be home!
Trip down Monday went well, easy traffic, nice weather, etc. Got there and saw the condition Dad was in... not good. Should have still been in the hospital, but they hadn't even treated the problem in the 4 days he was laid up so he checked himself out and went home. i believe just being there with him helped, as did making sure he ate, stayed hydrated, and got up and moved around some. Had a couple of dr's appointments that i went to with him, did some needed shopping, mowed the yard again, cleaned on the house some, etc., but mainly just was there to be there for him, talk to him, etc.
It was a pretty good visit, tense at times, as we have fundamental differences of opinions on relationships, politics, etc., but got thru those topics and had some other really good, if slightly depressing conversations about family, Mom, growing up, etc. By the time i left Thursday he looked and felt better, had proper meds to finally knock out the infection he's been fighting for 2 weeks now, and has an improved appetite.
Through the week Mistress Wolf and i communicated via text and phone calls, no further instructions or demands, other than drive safe, no real discussion about relationship, etc, beyond my replies of "Yes dear" and "you are the boss".. Trip home went pretty good, caught the start of rush hour traffic thru the major metro area, but only lost about 30 minutes due to the heavy traffic. Got home, unloaded the truck, unpacked and sorted laundry, grabbed a quick shower, and took Mistress and Little One out to dinner. Was kind of hoping for some funtime after Little One went to bed, but Mistress was working on the homework for Her Statistics class and studying for the exam this week. BUT, it's so very good to be home!
It happened last night... Was burning time surfing the internet after Little One went to bed, Mistress Wolf came over, rubbed my shoulder and asked "Want to go get naked with me?". i had been waiting for weeks to hear that question...
It took a while to get things going, i kept waiting for something to interfere or a change of mind, but once things got going it was pretty awesome. Touching Her, rubbing Her thighs, slowly getting closer to the spot, finally touching Her there and feeling Her tense with pleasure and excitement, then, as i continued to touch Her there She sudden;y got very wet, and whispered " I want you mouth there!". Was allowed to bring Her over the edge twice orally before being asked if i felt healed enough to take Her, and was allowed to find out for sure!
It had been so long, i was so hard, had to go slowly to make sure i did not hurt her (i'm not small there...), but once everything was comfortable i was able to bring Her right to the edge and keep Her there, was able to watch Her expressions and how She grabbed the sheets, how She squirmed in Her pleasure. i told Her i would be honored if She told me i was not allowed to finish, She replied "I don't know if I will be able to do that...". After several minutes more i could feel Her tightening, gripping me in Her as She started to go over the edge, taking me with Her. As i felt myself reaching the point of no return i quietly asked Her permission to finish with Her, to which She moaned "Oh, Yess". i don't remember ever orgasming that hard for that long, everything else except Mistress Wolf and our connection ceased to matter, There was only She and i, me giving Her the release and pleasure She needed, and She returning that gift wrapped in Her love and caring.
This morning i need to make sure i stay focused on Her and Her needs, and that i don't allow myself to drift into the old post release ways....
and no, i was not totally healed, had some discomfort from the surgery site, but am okay this morning... will have to try to go a little easier next time..
It took a while to get things going, i kept waiting for something to interfere or a change of mind, but once things got going it was pretty awesome. Touching Her, rubbing Her thighs, slowly getting closer to the spot, finally touching Her there and feeling Her tense with pleasure and excitement, then, as i continued to touch Her there She sudden;y got very wet, and whispered " I want you mouth there!". Was allowed to bring Her over the edge twice orally before being asked if i felt healed enough to take Her, and was allowed to find out for sure!
It had been so long, i was so hard, had to go slowly to make sure i did not hurt her (i'm not small there...), but once everything was comfortable i was able to bring Her right to the edge and keep Her there, was able to watch Her expressions and how She grabbed the sheets, how She squirmed in Her pleasure. i told Her i would be honored if She told me i was not allowed to finish, She replied "I don't know if I will be able to do that...". After several minutes more i could feel Her tightening, gripping me in Her as She started to go over the edge, taking me with Her. As i felt myself reaching the point of no return i quietly asked Her permission to finish with Her, to which She moaned "Oh, Yess". i don't remember ever orgasming that hard for that long, everything else except Mistress Wolf and our connection ceased to matter, There was only She and i, me giving Her the release and pleasure She needed, and She returning that gift wrapped in Her love and caring.
This morning i need to make sure i stay focused on Her and Her needs, and that i don't allow myself to drift into the old post release ways....
and no, i was not totally healed, had some discomfort from the surgery site, but am okay this morning... will have to try to go a little easier next time..
Fabulous.
I honestly wish I had your level of self control but it just isn't in me. I used the numbing spray this morning and was completely unable to feel myself, but I still had an orgasm before my wife managed to. It was the only down side on an otherwise wonderful morning.
I'm really pleased you got this chance and it sounds like Mistress Wolf did too.
I honestly wish I had your level of self control but it just isn't in me. I used the numbing spray this morning and was completely unable to feel myself, but I still had an orgasm before my wife managed to. It was the only down side on an otherwise wonderful morning.
I'm really pleased you got this chance and it sounds like Mistress Wolf did too.
I asked about the numbing spray also, but was told "No, not this time...". i think Her plan was for me to finish also, i know it really pushes Her farther over the edge when we both finish together.
Saturday, spent time with friends, out and about, finally home around 8:30, Little One off to bed, Mistress Wolf worked on homework/studied for a bit, then we went out for a soak in the hot tub. First time since surgery, and since getting the temp control fixed so i could get the temp up over 98*... No nakee fun last night, we were both too relaxed to get excited!
This morning dog woke us up, Mistress let him out and came back to bed, i lightly rubbed Her back as we talked, then up and started the day.
Life is good.
This morning dog woke us up, Mistress let him out and came back to bed, i lightly rubbed Her back as we talked, then up and started the day.
Life is good.
Wednesday update...
Little things...., the way instructions were given, the intimacy without sex, the conversation. Things are good, just too much stress from school for Mistress Wolf to relax and play. It's been a good week so far, still healing up but able to do most things as long as i remain aware of the weight limit. No chance to pleasure Mistress for at least the next 5-6 days...
Little things...., the way instructions were given, the intimacy without sex, the conversation. Things are good, just too much stress from school for Mistress Wolf to relax and play. It's been a good week so far, still healing up but able to do most things as long as i remain aware of the weight limit. No chance to pleasure Mistress for at least the next 5-6 days...
Life is good, still not back to work, but able to start doing a little more. Mistress Wolf is doing much better in Her last required class, which results in a better home environment as She is not stressed as badly. AS i sit at the computer She will walk past and stop and give me a hug, scritch my back, or just touch me in passing, a gesture of Her love for me which i greatly appreciate. Often times She will stop to see what i am doing or reading, and i will lean against Her and express my love for Her. It actually seems more intimate than sex most of the time, those little moments of true connection and shared love.
Funny (in a sad and screwed up way) that i said Friday Mistress Wolf was not as stressed about Her last class... Today, while working on Her homework while i was puttering on the computer, i heard Her sniffling. It quickly registered that it was not a normal sniffle, but a teary one. i turned to Her and asked if She was crying, She said Yes. i went to Her and gave Her a kiss and a hug, a brief neck rub, and then told (yes, i told Her) to put the work away, we were going out to lunch.
Took Mistress and Little One for a drive up by the lake, stopped at a good little restaurant there, then went on to the Mountain and spent some time just relaxing in the lodge together with a cup of hot chocolate. Talked a little but mostly just let Her relax and unwind. Finally had to head home, once there i fixed dinner, fed the pupper, cleaned the kitchen, and let Mistress Wolf continue to clear Her head before going back to finish Her homework.
This class is really getting Her down on Herself, making Her feel (in Her words, not mine) "stupid". i quickly asked Her to not think that way, as She has gone far beyond my level of math, and has done so much to get this close to Her Degree. As we were going out the door i told Her not to worry, just do Her best, and if She needs to take another class then we'll deal with it.
It pains me to see Mistress Wolf struggling and not be able to help Her. She has tried to explain Her homework to me and it goes WAY over my head... She is NOT giving up though, She will fight through to the end and do Her best. She is also talking about attending a Study hour with Her Professor, as well as a tutoring hour at least one day a week. i will do whatever is needed of me to take the load at home to give Her the time She needs to apply to it.
Took Mistress and Little One for a drive up by the lake, stopped at a good little restaurant there, then went on to the Mountain and spent some time just relaxing in the lodge together with a cup of hot chocolate. Talked a little but mostly just let Her relax and unwind. Finally had to head home, once there i fixed dinner, fed the pupper, cleaned the kitchen, and let Mistress Wolf continue to clear Her head before going back to finish Her homework.
This class is really getting Her down on Herself, making Her feel (in Her words, not mine) "stupid". i quickly asked Her to not think that way, as She has gone far beyond my level of math, and has done so much to get this close to Her Degree. As we were going out the door i told Her not to worry, just do Her best, and if She needs to take another class then we'll deal with it.
It pains me to see Mistress Wolf struggling and not be able to help Her. She has tried to explain Her homework to me and it goes WAY over my head... She is NOT giving up though, She will fight through to the end and do Her best. She is also talking about attending a Study hour with Her Professor, as well as a tutoring hour at least one day a week. i will do whatever is needed of me to take the load at home to give Her the time She needs to apply to it.
Intellectual pursuits are a "bitch" ... in fact the joke in our household when I am working on a serious technical issue she can literally scare me out of my socks by a loud noise due to the intense focus required.
As an example, I migrated her phone to Google's Fi service, but on our horse farm (15 acres) I wanted to make sure she never dipped into her data ... so I whipped out spare networking gear and pieced it together ... this required a lot of years of education (which she is doing for herself now) and time/experience (which is she is doing) ... which required a lot of frustration.
Net-Net ... all 15 acres work ... saving $10/gb and nice/clear and clean service .... time to make happen 4-6 hours ... lifetime knowledge requirement ... probably 1000x as much ...
So why the blabber ... what is hard makes you stronger, what takes forever will be simplified and made easier over time. Plus if she is frustrated ... know she can frustrate you in ways ... 10,000x as hard
As an example, I migrated her phone to Google's Fi service, but on our horse farm (15 acres) I wanted to make sure she never dipped into her data ... so I whipped out spare networking gear and pieced it together ... this required a lot of years of education (which she is doing for herself now) and time/experience (which is she is doing) ... which required a lot of frustration.
Net-Net ... all 15 acres work ... saving $10/gb and nice/clear and clean service .... time to make happen 4-6 hours ... lifetime knowledge requirement ... probably 1000x as much ...
So why the blabber ... what is hard makes you stronger, what takes forever will be simplified and made easier over time. Plus if she is frustrated ... know she can frustrate you in ways ... 10,000x as hard
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