I wonder how many subs recognise themselves here:- What would be an even more interesting talking point would be how many subs who don't see themselves here, yet would be placed in this category by the dommes they have talked to.
That is not me at all. First off I only call a woman Mistress when we are playing. Before and after sex play we are back to who we are and that could be her boss or equal. I never met a Mistress. I made them. Most non professional women do not decide to become Mistresses, they have to learn and even then, few are truly dominant after the play is over. I have only known one woman in my life who was dominant both in play and in real life and I had the privilege of serving her for 38 years. She was also married to a submissive husband but he was submissive by nature while I was an alpha male outside of the bedroom. She married him so that she did not have to work and she needed someone to support her and her son. I could not afford to buy her a condo and support the two of them and having her move into our place with a son would kill our fetish games. I cannot even imagine myself acting like in the video. I am submissive to no one. I surrender to some women who I can trust and have an emotional bond with. For me, sexual preferences ends at the bedroom door. I can be whipped until I bleed by my Mistress and when done, ask her to get me a drink and she will. I do not top from the bottom, although that was necessary to educate her about BDSM as most women know little to none about it. Over time she got to know what I liked and what we shared in common. Even then, we usually discussed our session and scripted it together for maximum pleasure for both. We might leave off the little details and specifics most times but if she knew I wanted my butt punished and I did not tell her not to use a particular device, she was smart enough to know that I did not like what she was using and switch to something else by saying something like she really wants to punish me so she is going to use the flogger instead of the cane. Now that may not be true but the way she said things created the fantasy. For instance if she accidentally whipped my balls when aiming for my butt and I yelled out in agony, she would not apologize but rather tell me to take it like a man or I would get another but really make sure she was more careful from then on. That is a good mistress in my opinion. Someone who can feel you out as you go along and know real moans of pain from those coming from subspace and adjust accordingly while making it seem that she is going to make it worse. Lots of stuff I see online seems to follow a script that someone said was the way to do things. In real life, non pros rarely live the BDSM lifestyle 24/7. There are jobs, kids and even just the love between the couple. I know that there are many days where I am not in the mood for BDSM and would hate anyone who tried to force me into it. Although videos and written fantasy posts are harmless, I often wonder if it does make some think that this is the way to do things rather than creating your own version of the fantasy. I do not know as really was not into the BDSM culture. I just learned things here and thee and bought BDSM toys. My Mistress knew even less but we learned over the 38 years we played together even if we did not know what something was officially called and how it was supposed to be done.
Ok, so why post a long, rambling, ego stroking reply that has nothing to do with the original post. Hijacking a thread with the first reply is rather bad form. Or, perhaps it touched a raw nerve.
It may be long but I do not think it is off topic. I talk about how people seem to follow a script like in the video and how that is not how it is really done. There is so much fantasy on this board that it is hard for a newbie to sort though and find real information. Too many read these fantasy posts and think this is how it should be and then are very disappointed when they do not follow the script in their head. Why would you think it is ego stroking. I was just saying how it really is instead of writing fantasy posts. Posting how long you have been locked up or been allowed to orgasm is ego stroking and boasting. It is the equivalent to comparing penis sizes. Stating facts is stating facts. I do not need to stroke my ego. Others do it for me. Plus there is no option to edit or delete after 3 minutes and I write while I work so by the time I got to review it, I could not edit it anymore. Who wears the pants here anyway.
It's a brilliant video. I think many subs start out like that, if only in their heads. I rather like what Oldtimer has to say--it's not the only way to approach things, but it sounds very healthy. I certainly agree on the need for personal authenticity rather than off-the-shelf BDSM. There's nothing wrong with scripted scenes. Not my bag though.