My Chastity Journey

Its a surprise... So I will have to wait till tomorrow.

 

Yeah she is from the Mansion, but I can't say any more without her premission. And yes she knows how to press my buttons. I've not known her very long but she already knows how my head works better then most of my long time mates

 

Yeah, I have a feeling its a mixture of both being locked up and frustrations in my own life. I can get quite low in normal life anyways.

EDIT: Just been unlocked. But no jerking off till KH is back. Going to have a nice soak in the bath, just some relaxing tunes on and have a think. KH has said I can decide then I get locked back up, But its got to be within 5 days and I've got to think about when she would want me back in.

 

Where to start...
So I got unlocked today at around 4:30, I was told to go an have a soak in the bath, get cleaned up and have a shave. Had a bit of dead skin to get rid off but nothing major. I was under orders not to jerk off till key holder was about, That was easy enough, I've never liked jerking off in the bath. Shaved (odd thing is I never shaved till I started this journey, but I like it now and KH said its suits me), washed, chilled out... But before I knew it it was 7pm and KH showed up along with my surprise wearing a open crotch fishnet body stocking. What else can I say but WOW... DOUBLE WOW... I nearly exploded right then. WOW... Such a sight
My KH loves watching men jerk off. So off I started, I'm not to cum without permission and that will not be given until KH has first. KH started playing with herself, Mmmmmmmmmm Oh just the sight of her playing with herself was driving me wild. Might as well say it, She is a distance KH as finding one local is like finding a needle in a field of haystacks. But if we was in the same room, wild horses wouldn't of been able to stop me jumping on her and replacing her fingers with my tongue. KH kept me on the brink for 40 mins before she let me cum... But it felt like double that. And when she finally let me blow WOW.... It was such a wonderful orgasm. It left me worn out for the rest of the night.

KH offered me a close up view... And like any man would I accepted but in hindsight I should of said no... Why.. Well that's when I was bad The view of her close up was too much for me, And I couldn't stop myself from playing again and I came again BUT WITHOUT KH's permission. She wasn't mad... But she wanted to play with me some more and so I'm to be punished.
My punishment is A week extra on to my next lock up which starts tomorrow morning, But I'm to also get a few more things. She wants to be able to tease me while i'm locked up. So I'm to get a vibrator to put on my balls to drive me while and some nipple clamps. And I've been told That my punishment will not start until I have got them, so the longer I take in getting hold of them the longer my lock up will be.

So My first night not locked up... Well I was drained. VERY drained. For the first time in ages I fell asleep around midnight and that's odd for me as I'm a night owl. But this morning... I over slept... Woke up to the sound of my alarm going off, it had been going off for over an hour. Ouch... That ment me running around the house like a headless chicken sorting everything out...

So was it worth it. Yes... I enjoyed myself greatly. Its just a shame she is a distance KH... Oh what I would do to serve her fully

 

Locked back up as of this morning. So begins another session of lock up this time I'll be locked up for longer then I have been before because it will be atleast a week plus my punishment 6 days (got a day taken off for good behaviour). It's odd how being locked up makes me feel more complete. But I'll prob won't be saying that in a weeks time will post a full entry when I get back home. Had a busy day at work.

 

OK So where were we???

OH YES...
Let me take you back to Thursday Morning. I got woken up early, and checked my messages. Turned out Mistress was on-line WOOHOO... Started up a chat and she asked why I was up, Well that was because I was UP We got chatting but after a while I got up and sat at my desk (I have a mobile internet device and tend to use that while I'm in bed) because Mistress wanted to see me and not just chat. Before I knew it I was nekid sitting infront of my cam wearing my chain collar, playing with mistress. She really loves watching me play with myself. She had me ponding away at myself for a good 40 minutes before she allowed me to cum and of cause she had to cum first As I cam she said how much she loves seeing me wear a collar, knowing it means i'm owned by her, and I love the feeling of being owned by her Mmmmmmmm. We chatted for a while but she had to go, she told me to enjoy my last few hours of being free but I told her that I would lock myself back up without playing again. I loved the idea of sharing my last orgasm for 2 weeks with her So I went and had a bath to clean up and lock myself back in as I find it easier to do in a hot bath. And thus started my next lock up period...

But I feel this lock up period is going to be harder then last. All Day all I could think about was her. Mmmmmmm it was such a nice mind fuck, I went out last night and again all I could think about was Mistress just wanted to be with her and play with her. We exchanged a few text messages and when I got home started texting. Got into a Nice discussion and shared some things, Boy if I wasn't locked up I would of been playing with myself, but the thought of talking dirty with her, and me lying there frustrated was such a turn on We discussed me getting a more permanent collar like I've mentioned before, been reading up on the subject and feel that I will be getting one VERY SOON, just waiting for some checks to be paid and get some christmas prezzies out the way. We stayed up late before she told me to go to bed (hehe i did protest a few times saying I would rather stay up and chat) I do like her ordering me about. I went to bed and managed to sleep, Got woken up a few times in the night thinking about her but was manageable.

Which brings me to today. I've not done much, stayed at home and did some remote support work. Again she has been on my mind all day. Something I've been loving.

 

One of these days I'll get used to sleeping in this thing. Had another night of being woken up by the device and having to "Walk it off".

I'm not really a jellewery person either, I have been wearing for a couple of years a couple of "memories". Me, one of my friends and my sisters went on a couple of camping holidays over the summer of that year. Long story short I've had a piece of guy roped round my left wrist ever since. So I've got used to wearing something all the time.

Thanks Goddess Jen, Any advise would be great. I'll have to pass on what you say to Mistress though to make sure she approves. I might just ask her to PM you, she stays out of the thread as she wants to stay "Under the radar" but she does get to see what I and others post thou, as she said to me. She loves holding my key but she doesn't want more people pm'in her to hold there's.

 

Mistress Gave me a task to do today. In her words "I'm in the mood to make you do something you don't want to." Boy she is right. I didn't want to do it, but number one on my list of things to do is "Obey Mistress at all times" so she asks, so I do.

The task was to upload a few more pictures of myself and upload a few pictures of my fantasies giving descriptions on why.

Not something I enjoyed doing, I'm reserved, I write in my journal as its mine, its my thoughts and what I want to write publicly gets written and what I don't doesn't... But as I said above, I said I would obey at all times and if I had "copped" out and took the punishment it would of either been a) twice as worse as this task b) got extra time on my lock up and this task would of come back around anyway... So I took a big breath and got on with it. I was given to midday to get it done, but I thought if I had slept on it I would of bottled out of it and thought it would be easier just to crack on with it and get it done.

So here it is, Its missing one pic, but I can't upload that yet.
I hope you enjoy the gallery more then I enjoyed creating it.
http://www.chastitymansion.com/forum/album.php?albumid=1107

NOTE: Just re-read entry... And it sounds a bit whiny. I'm not trying to be whiny but just trying to say its a task I didn't want to do.

 

Yeah, she wasn't doing it to pee me off or a punishment. But as you said she did it to get me to open up and relax abit more. I feel better today for doing it now I've had time to reflect on it.

 

<RANT> I'm pissed off right now... Why? Cause I can't sleep. For two I've laid here trying to drop off. But I can't. Every time I close my eyes my head starts working. Even questioning the whole chastity thing right now it's the lack of psyical contact I think... Not sex, not cuming but a simple hug would be nice right now.
Blahhh what I would do for a simple off switch to my head.

I know... I know... I'm over thinking... But that's the point I can't stop right now and get some sleep.
</RANT>

well of to try and go to sleep again... Hopefully see you in the morning.

 

Slept for an hour and half last night. couldn't get any more then that.
Not sure what I'm thinking right now, lack of sleep. couldn't focus at work which pissed me off as I love my work.
Gonna relax and try and get an early night, which sucks as I wanted to do some work on one of my projects but not got the energy to focus on it right now.
I kept myself locked. But I dunno... I need to think things though... I love this lifestyle, I love she is bringing me out of my shell, but that is also bringing out parts of me that misses being in a full relationship and not a distance one. What to do... what to do... This is gonna take some thinking. Picked up some sleeping pills today. Gonna go neck a few and climb into bed and try and drop off.

 

Had a long hard think... including a visit to doc's and a good sit down with my sis.

And OK my emotions was running wild, but i would like to say sorry, because I was using this as a vent. Yes I need to vent. but i don't need to bring you lot down at the same time.

I said I was re-thinking the whole "lock-up" thing. Well... I have stayed locked up during the whole time. There is more to say, but right now I can't put finger to textbox.

Sorry if you read my last few entrys and I put a downer on it, Yes i was down but I'm feeling a lot better now

As a positive note. i've been chaste for almost a week (Will be a full week tomorrow morning) and its not worrying me at all. Right now I'm thinking another week will be nothing... As long as i'm open with my keyholder...
(Wont go into detail but of my childhood, i've always held all these thoughts in my own head, this is a bad thing. My key holder is only trying to bring myself out of my shell, to stop being so self defensive.. to let myself go...
So i would like to say this right now (sorry for font )

Thank you key holder... I'm sorry about the past few days... I know you are trying your hardest to be there for me and i'm not making it easy on you at times. But thanks for sticking with me... As you know i'm already a better person for it and things can only get bettter