Do men like this stuff?

Well, this will be a short thread. I’ve only seen one guy (who I believed was genuine) that had his wife instigate this scenario. @Headtrip

For others, like myself the answers could be far more complex.

I started this ‘lifestyle’ because it was an added spice, something kinky or in an attempt almost to reduce the boredom in the bedroom.
Over time, we’ve changed and developed into something different. Not only do our wives become less ‘guilty’ about restricting our orgasms but ourselves, we become more attune to savouring them at the right time.

The balance of power shifts gradually. Almost unnoticed. You’ve moved from leading your sex life to having very little say, the difference is dramatic… but spread over the time it’s taken, you can’t remember another way.

I was reading @longtallsally journal recently and she talked about her partner shifting immediately back to his old ways. I may have been wrong in my assumption but it appeared that he instigated sex a few times, but it was dirty and repulsive (almost). Actually, if you put into perspective the actual events they were just typical scenarios of a married life.

What changed? The expectations. She expected a level of more romantic interest, he expected the sex to feel wilder and more pleasurable. It wasn’t the case… but it wasn’t the same I imagine they had prior to chastity. Ot was probably much less but it is the mindset that is altered over time.
Feminism? That’s a nice idea… chastity is feminism in practice. Once you’ve had a taste for it, the alternative leaves a sour taste.

So of my own relationship. I lead us down this path. When I decided it just doesn’t work: that’s exactly when she took to it. When she decided she wanted the positive caged aspects of her life to continue. The alternative left a sour taste.

So that’s me now. When she allows me freedom (and I’m not suggesting that I couldn’t remove the cage at any point, I go into this willingly) I savour it. I drag it out. I don’t want her to make those suggestions that I return to my confines. I want the freedom.

She keeps me caged because we both want something weird in our lives.

 

There are definitely days I do NOT enjoy this at all. Then there are days that the frustration and power exchange is AMAZING.

Having imposed by a real person with a physical relationship (not via the internet) is even better and, honestly, the dream. I've had it before and it's not all sunshine and butterflies, but it's better than being bored.

 

I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to return to old ways . I had a penny drop moment a few months ago which made me realize without my cage I would return to old ways very quickly. I suddenly felt the benefits caged life brings to my relationship and the uncaged life whilst perfectly ok is much less desirable than where we are now .

I feel closer and more attached to my wife more now than at anytime in the 30 yrs we have been together . Before chastity my almost daily bad habits did not promote intimacy and attachment they promoted the opposite & whilst we drifted through for years with no problems I wouldn't want to return to that . Although not engaged in my chastity I'm sure my wife recognizes the benefits and would probably recognize a return to old ways and she would also see that as a less desirable path to take.

 

Maybe removing the chastity cage is the exact engagement piece your wife needs to become involved.
I’m not saying he manipulative and remove it for your own reasons, but as humans we tend to take for granted the aspects of our lives that are present. It’s not until they have gone that we conclude that they were worth fighting for.

 

Husband isn't crazy about it but submits to it because I really like it.

 

I have considered that but in the 30 yrs I've been with my wife I've always been very considerate & done my share of the mundane task and more . It has always been our normal so she wouldn't link any of that to my chastity or my attempts to live my side of an FLR .

as for removing the chastity and returning to my old ways of regular self pleasure I just don't want to go that path as it feels so good and so right leaving it behind. It would also feel like topping from the bottom as it would be being done with the sole purpose to manipulate her and I'd be very uncomfortable with that .

I do need to explain how it makes me feel and what induced the penny drop moment
Far better for her to engage because she arrives at that point because of positive open communication than because of my scheming.

unfortunately we have so few moments alone during which this can be discussed and I am genuinely crap at talking about such personal and emotional matters.

that is why I've always ruled out the idea of trying to force the issue through return to poor behavior. I've thought about it a lot but can't bring myself to do it for the above reason.

 

Oh, no. Absolutely don’t. My point was to return to your uncaged life to give yourself a break. Relax your mind from her troubles for a few days, a week…
When she ultimately says “I think you should wear your cage” or such like, that will feel incredible!

I mean, also, you seem happy so don’t rock the boat.

 

I enjoy giving control to my Queen. She is a very sexual person, so I can rest easy knowing she will enjoy her part. It also keeps me from masturbating without her permission, which helps fuel our fires.

 

I do! When we started getting kinky our rolls were reversed. It never felt right but we knew we were into kink. My wife made the suggestion we switch the role so that she was the D and everything felt right immediately! Chastity was something we added over 6 months ago and it’s a game changer. It will be permanent and has now taken a lead in our lives not just the bedroom.

 

I don't doubt for one minute just how wonderful it would feel to hear her say those words , she says she loves my chastity but has never shown an interest or engaged so anything will make me feel on cloud nine.

I've had a 6 week break from the age as I've not long had a PA , it's only in the last week I've been caged again but I remove it every day for cleaning and a salt water wash . God did my attitude change when I was uncaged , I lost interest in it completely for 6 weeks but the age love returned after just a day back in the cage.

 

I initiated it, but she is slowly growing to like it. If she reaches that tipping point it is all over for me being out. I have been wondering if that point is coming.

 

yes! i love serving as a house and personal maid while in long term chastity! my last G/F took me as Her house maid for 6 months, reporting weekly to Her home for housekeeping/laundry; and for the last 3 months i served as Her more intimate, personal maid and oh my yes, She enjoyed it! when She moved away, She gave me the chastity keys which i then returned to my long-term keyholder since i'm looking again.

 

Most days yes. Days I get frustrated I remind myself this was all my idea and I should be grateful she's embracing it like she is.

 

Men like anything that involves their dick.

Want to get your man to make bread? Involve his dick.

Want to get your man to do more DIY? Involve his dick.

Want your man to make more money so you can both retire early? Involve his dick.

 

Sad but it’s probably true

 

I'm not locked but in permanent denial at my request but my wife is now on board with it. She likes the fact that I am always horny and want to lick her pussy and ass all the time. Plus I do all the house work now.

 

It works! From the early days of us dating, without coming out and actually saying it, I gave husband (then boyfriend) the impression his penis was oh so important to me.

Now, it's MY penis.

 

It was me who tried to convince her to try it and after many years I said , look this is not a kink but is an object that allows us to be together without you feeling under pressure to have sex and it worked after a while she could see and feel the benefits of it so much so I tested the waters by suggesting I take off the chastity cage and I could see she was not relaxed and enjoying herself but very much turned off by me been uncaged.
So in short we will not be going back to the old days.

 

I’ve learned to love and crave the frustration, the caged erections, desperate to cum but not being allowed very often. It’s really become an incredibly addictive experience after my Wife truly embraced all this and realized denying my orgasms and limiting my erections actually makes me happier than when I was the dominant one in our sex lives.
Having sex daily through most of our marriage was of course wonderful, but it all started to become kind of hollow and dare I say boring, and now doing simple little things for my Wife keeps that sexual energy intense, and when she decides to tease and edge me, it’s mind blowing, even without the orgasm.
Plus, the more strict and dominant she gets with me, the more enjoyable I find it. She’s told me she’s planning on keeping me living this way for the rest of our lives, so I’m pretty sure she’s enjoying it too

 

I just baked my first loaf of bread last week lol

 

Anyone who has been locked long term, lives this life 24/7, I’m sure has had the occasional “what did I sign up for? Did I say I would do this forever?!” Moments.

I think my first one was after we had a tiff, we weren’t married yet, and I was like “well this is not going to be any fun with us being upset with each other!” The next time I believe it was when I was sick, and I thought how ridiculous it was wearing a cage when playing with its contents were the last thing on my mind.

There have been several others, like long car rides, fishing trips, and selfishly when she was in a funk that wasn’t going to resolve anytime soon.

When we started this, I had an idea of what I wanted…lock up for periods to be determined, like a week or two, teased and played with with an eventual unlock and orgasm. She was hesitant to be my keyholder and was unsure of the responsibility. My reassurance to her was she couldn’t do anything wrong, that she could unlock me whenever she wanted and no expectations. When she did agree she was adamant that if she was in charge of this, she was in charge of all of it. Either she had total control of the cage, sex, and was going to be my dominant, or she wouldn’t start. I agreed, and let’s just say, it wasn’t what I had mapped out in my head beforehand.

So yes I’m into this, but I’m not experiencing what I had envisioned, and there are moments I just want to quit.

 

Oh, I can empathize! I asked my ex-partner (who knew about my desire for chastity) if she would monitor me during Locktober, 2020. I had underestimated her determination to keep me locked, as she has been my keyholder ever since. For almost 18 whole months I've been locked 24/7, but it's no longer about what I want: I don't get to choose if I ever get let out again. Chastity has become very 'real' all of a sudden!

 

Not really what I was getting at, but glad it’s working out for you

 

What I understood was that the reality of life in chastity can be quite different from fantasy. What our partners get out of it may not be what we had envisioned for ourselves. I am learning to see things from my KH's perspective more and more.