Have you ever taken your key back?

I've been tempted to call it enough a few times. But she was reluctant and uncertain when we were first trying it out. I assured her I was willing to explore it with her and we've had fun with it. But if we get to deep into it for me, and I say I want it early or need a break, she probably would rethink the whole year and incorrectly conclude that she is doing something unpleasant to me and probably feel guilty about it.

 

The ex and I used a contract. Renewed once a year with her wishes for the upcoming year. She had become meaner and more strict. I could not agree with what she wanted for next year for me. It was over the top.

I refused to sign. We were divorced within a year. I hope nothing but the best for her and new guy. I know what he's going through. I stayed caged till the end and she handed me back my keys

 

Same with my KH. She let me out for a few hours yesterday for PIV And man am I struggling today.

 

I ended up safewording after 12 months of chastity in mid-2021. We got a bit deep.

She pressed me to expect permanence and “never again” and I tried to live that way. But in the end I feel made a mistake. We unfortunately mixed a vow with hard limits I did not realize I had. It made me feel untrustworthy. She gave me my fantasy but the reality drove home too many negative emotions.

Hearing she could not trust me felt wrong.
I wanted a key-holder, and a key user.
She understands me better: I am a good boy that needs to be indulged a little occasionally.

She and I played to fantasy tropes that strained the relationship and muffled clear communication. I wasn’t ready. I thought I was.

I wanted to give her my acceptance of permanence as a positive thing: as a ceremony or gift. Instead, she immediately leapt to permanence once I handed her keys with a vow to never touch them.

Her perfected skill of giving me ruined orgasms from exceedingly gentle touches of the underside of my penis, while I focused on not twitching in the slightest, and just letting myself pour out slowly without force became “sex” for me. Her “taking that away” from me was too much to accept. It also felt sad to feel like I needed all hints of penile pleasure taken away.

I twisted and cracked in July 2021. It was very sad when she gave me the keys back. I didn’t want them back. I waited a month before I used them. I didn’t want to break my vow.

I was just confused. It was just too much too quick. I wanted a celebration, not a prison sentence.

So yes. I did not ask for my keys back explicitly. But she gave them back because I broke down. It took 12 months.

I took a break. Now we’re back to “normal” and we’re enjoying my chastity together again.

We are focusing on encouragement rather than enforcement right now. And it’s working well. I know I am at my best when I am “kept”.

I enjoy this and am grateful for her.
I’ve been a good boy, even with access to the key. And I’ve been not requiring her to chaperone me to medical appointments and such. In hindsight it got a little too “Fantastic” to maintain.

 

Got into a fight with my ex while we were both blackout drunk. Don't remember it but I guess it happened. That was a long time ago.

 

No I haven't and have been told I will be rewarded if I obey her completely. This weekend she said I will be locked permanently until I can have an anal orgasm. She has given me a vibrating buttplug which is the only sex toy I've been allowed and is a reward for 4 years of chastity with a handful of orgasms over that time. I am very grateful. If I take the key back we'll stay friends, I would be free to masturbate behind her back but would be lucky to even be allowed to lick her feet. Not much of a choice but I'm very happy to have earned the butt plug I'm free to use as I wish.

 

Not yet, but I’ve been thinking about it. M likes PIV so I still get that, but she is making it more and more frustrating an experience for me. When we have long runs of that, I crave some satisfying sex. Then I start thinking “this can’t go on.”

My situation is probably unique. I can ask for freedom at any time, but the cost is that I forfeit some money I gave M to hold in escrow. It is not a ruinous amount, but enough that I really, really don’t want to forfeit it. I proposed this arrangement out of desire to feel trapped. Really, I’m never trapped because I always have the right to my freedom. There must be some cost to freedom. Other posters have described some upset in relationship, break of trust, a feeling of going back on a vow. My cost is monetary. Forfeit of money does not negate my right, but makes me very reluctant to exercise it. Thus, I’m stuck with M’s control until I’m willing to pay the cost. M has told me she is quite serious about retaining control and I will have to forfeit to get freedom.

Now, you might think, if the arrangement has no end, that money is gone already. Not really. If I needed it back, M would return it. But it is not a ruinous amount so that is unlike. More to the point, if I were to forfeit to get my freedom, in a couple months I would be strongly fantasizing about being controlled again. M would require another escrow deposit to resume our chastity arragement. It would be an expensive break. I may, or may not, be able to re-negotiate boundaries.

Fortunately, M is not strongly motivated by denying me. She does like teasing and denying, but never extensively. She likes getting what she wants. I’m on the edge of wanting escape. I keep sending her fantasies of more denial. It is what excites me and I share. M generally does not choose to take them up. I’m both disappointed and relieved.

 

I’ve never asked for the keys back.

In the first month or so she would have handed them over without a second thought. Probably also thinking “well at least that is over”. After that, she would definitely question me why first, and now she would not give me the keys back without a solid explanation and made plans on returning to wearing it again.

She has been a keyholder for for 8 years now, she wouldn’t just change our life without figuring something out or an alternative solution.

 

No, when I gave my then GF now wife the keys it was with the understanding that if we did this it was going to be her way. I did not then nor do I now have a problem with that, she is in control and makes the rules. I suggested this to her as a way for me to submit control over our sex life to her and we have come to realize that her being the top and me being the bottom is just how it is meant to be for our relationship. I am locked by default with her being in full control of when, why and how I am unlocked. For the past couple of years my only form of orgasm is nocturnal emission unless she permits otherwise. I was told to orgasm after we returned from our honeymoon and that was the last orgasm that she has wanted me to have. I have had a few ruined un-permitted orgasms from PIV or edging sessions that made her upset. This has become how our life is now and to ask for it to end would be more problematic than when we first started this journey, it would probably be the end of our marriage. I say this from both of our prospective, we both fully identify with our roles and enjoy what this dynamic brings to our marriage.

 

May I ask what she wanted that was too me as and strict?

 

I will add to this that it was the only time I demanded my key back.

Since then there have been times when my keyholder had been unable to fulfill his obligations as a keyholder and I thus mentioned such and we called it quits. Life happens for the dom, too.

I was very young in the first instance, and the second scenario I have learned that it's important to discuss with the keyholder his role right from the start and to maintain clear communication. I'm sorry, we can talk about CNC all we want but there are certain things I expect in return.

 

We were young and life was extremely difficult at the time. At least I'm willing to admit it.

 

No but tempted to so bad....

 

it's hard to think about but sometimes relationships end, and having compatible kinks does not mean you are necessarily compatible in life.

I was incompatible with a woman because she had children and wanted more, but I didn't want a family. It was painful but we were not meant to be together.

I love this kink, but for me at least it cannot be everything in my life

 

I didn't ask for them but was given them back. My wife just isn't interested in anything sexual and ended the game.

 

About fifteen years ago, my wife spent a month overseas for work. I was locked during the time, of course. When she got back, she told me that having had time to really think seriously about things, she realized that she loved the idea that keeping me locked meant having a certain amount of control over me, even half a world away. She then explained that she wanted that control all the time, whether or not I was caged. I agreed (admittedly, i was so horny that I'd have agreed to anything).

I have (with only a couple of minor infractions), kept my word. It has been difficult at times. When you're arguing with your partner (keep in mind we do not have an FLR), knowing you've got a hunk of plastic or metal on your tonker feels really stupid. You want out, you want to take it off and toss it in the bin.

I have never done that. And here's the interesting thing: later on, when things cooled down, my wife found it sexy as hell that I remained committed to remaining caged. It gave her confidence to continue exploring, knowing that I took it as seriously as she did.

 

No. I've never asked for them back and have no idea where they are. My experience with chastity might be better than others as I have always been submissive and being locked 24/7 has been relatively easy. I've had some tougher days and times but never so bad that I wanted the keys back.

 

I didn't think my mistress would actually get a fetish about me being locked. It's been 4 years and she's keen as ever. It would hurt her if I asked for them back. She would also hold back any sexual activity so I feel I have to stay with it.

 

My Wife allows me access to a key to shower every few days, I know if I cheat she will know by my attitude, and I’m not a cheater so I remain being her obedient subby. She used to enjoy taking little breaks from chastity play in the first couple years after starting cage use, I’d get a week or so of freedom, expected to not masturbate which wasn’t difficult as I’ve never been a chronic masturbator as an adult any way lol. We’d have lots of sex and I would be allowed to orgasm every time during that freedom. But as we went along, she realized the depression and blah’s would over take me, my interest in being submissive and being her pet who was highly attentive went out the window, and I became penis focused instead her pleasure focused. Neither of us enjoyed those things, the negative outweighed the good, so those free days dwindled to almost nothing. Now I am lucky she’ll allow me to sleep out of the cage about one night a month or so, to allow the overnight erections for penis health.
She’s been wonderful in granting me a ruined handjob about every 3 weeks, piv used to happen a handful of times a month until a cyst that required surgery and a three month recovery took that away since last December. We’ve had it a few times this year after her recovery, but she’s still nervous about it, so my tongue and her Womanizer vibe give her orgasms daily instead.
I do miss the daily piv and lengthy fuck sessions we used to have over the first 28 years of marriage, but these last 5 years of giving up dominance to her and having her embrace it and run with it have been amazing in so many other ways. I wouldn’t trade it and go back now. There are days and weeks I don’t think I can go much longer, but I know the outcome if I beg to end it for a while. Our marriage would be fine, but I don’t think either of us would be as happy as we both are with me locked and my Wife being free to dominate as she sees fit. So that key sits and really isn’t a huge temptation, as my orgasms become more and more rare, if it does tempt me too much, I’ll let her know and I’m sure that temptation will be hidden away and my attitude will get a re-adjustment via the rug beater

 

Early on I was going insane with horny and my mind simply couldn't handle it. I searched everywhere for the key and in the end I called her and explained I needed to be released.

She was an hour away and our conversation calmed me down.

That was the closest.

 

Do you mind if I ask what did she wanted to do that was so bad ?

 

He had to sell his Marvel figurine collection

 

I was at this point this morning. A little teasing, but not enough to feel satisfying (ironic how getting MORE horny leads to satiation of some kind), and some emotional discussion and release left me really feeling into the horny energy while at the same time not getting any stimulation. The pressure on the cage and not being to get erect added to the effect,

I nearly couldn't take it, I needed out.

Explaining that to her, and some meditation calmed me back down.

She looked at me, kind of perplexed in the way of a woman who wouldn't understand this about a man..."you want out, but you don't really want out, don't you? Fascinating."