A conversation about Sexual frustrations with my wife

[Andrea_NL]

A few days ago, my wife and I had dinner together at our home. We are always having god conversations and on open and good communication. My wife asked me about my feelings and what is on my mind and allowed me to be honest and open, without fear of consequences.



For me it always takes a lot of courage to talk open to my wife about my sexual needs, especially about releases of my ongoing expected chastity. So I carefully asked if I am allowed to speak about this topic. My wife signaled me that I am allowed exceptionally.



I told her, that I am more than 30 months PIV free and that I still miss the feeling of her wonderful soft vagina. I told her that in August she informed me that I at least would receive 1 real handjob every month with happy end because I agreed that she couckolded me with her girlfriend Lea.



In September strictly speaking it was Lea who provided me the promised handjob. On October I received nothing and now we are middle of November already. It was this sentence where my wife interrupted me and told me:

1. Lea is a wonderful young lady and my girlfriend. She gave you a handjob while I kissed you. How many flr husbands do you think ever expirienced something like this?
2. October is Locktober, followed by No-vember! You know that it I belive it is good for you to recognize from time to time that the absolute main job of the penis is to pee.
3. I allowed you to lick my vagina once in October even if I am much more excited nowadays when Lea is licking it.
4. Everytime my strapon is on my hips, I see how unwell you are feeling on your face. I see how hard it is still for you to relax and accept it deeply even after all these years when I fuck you. I would have a much better feeling, if you would enjoy it as much as I do and that it is not only a meassure to keep you in line!
5. You know that I can not imagine at the moment that you will ever put that sweet litte penis ever in a real vagina again, especially not in mine. I informed you about it years ago. Give it up and accept that this is not something I allow my husband.
6. If you are so horny again you know that you ALWAYS have the possibility to get a milking. Just lean over the table, skirt up, panties down, a bit of lubricant on a prostate stimulator and a hairbrush for your OTK spanking afterwards and we are in business.
7. I don’t like this kind of attitude from your side. If I allow you to talk about your problems with your chastity in our marriage, you sometimes act as If you are a frustrated man, who‘s wife is not in the mood today. You are my loved husband but you should always keep in mind, that you are wearing the panties in this marriage, not the pants.

I had to swallow. I was a bit jealous, that Lea should be the one, who can better sexualy sattisfy my wife. I was dissapointed that she made it clear again, that I should ever stay pussy-free and my next handjob will not before December. I felt humiliated about her last sentence and felt the tightly locked penis in the purple lingerie I was wearing for her.

 

[Mr_anonymous]

Gives you free permission to speak, then is unhappy with what you say. Seems about par for course for your posts.

 

[jemima]

well what do you want to know then.

 

[Shepherdsflock]

I don't know why she is allowing hand jobs or milking.

 

[NowIveDoneIt]

You remain one of the most manipulated and abused persons I have ever read about. I am so sorry and wish you well.

 

[LukeVallentine]

Point 4 sounds logical.

 

[MSDB321]

In a FLR the submissive male should not expect to be allowed to penetrate his wife/Mistress. Some wives allow this but a lot don't particularly if they have a lover either male or female.
I think you were very lucky to get a handjob from Lea. Many men would be very pleased.
A release every 6 to 8 weeks is good control by your wife.

 

[littleLicker]

Hello,
spouse acts completely different: Permanently locked up, orgasms for ME only PIV. NO masturbation, no handjobs.
f from bavaria

 

[anasyrma]

@Andrea_NL, Some people may question your situation. I think so long as everyone is happy, even if there is some frustration on one side, it is OK. I agree with @MSDB321 that you should have no expectations of being able penetrate your wife's or anyone else's vagina. It is up to her what you are allowed to do in any case. I think she was generous to allow you to express your frustrations over lack of activity and you should be thankful for having this opportunity. Being able to talk openly to your spouse is important, even if she disagrees with you. I can understand how you feel about her preferring sex with her girlfriend rather than you.
Personally I would be happy in your situation and would look forward to being milked to help relieve my urges. I am also not allowed to penetrate my wife and I wear the panties. I am not fortunate enough that my wife has a sexual partner and certainly not one who is willing to give me a hand job or peg me. I think you are very lucky to be in your relationship. I look forward to hearing more from you.

 

[Surrendered]

@Andrea_NL, Some people may question your situation. I think so long as everyone is happy, even if there is some frustration on one side, it is OK. I agree with @MSDB321 that you should have no expectations of being able penetrate your wife's or anyone else's vagina. It is up to her what you are allowed to do in any case. I think she was generous to allow you to express your frustrations over lack of activity and you should be thankful for having this opportunity. Being able to talk openly to your spouse is important, even if she disagrees with you. I can understand how you feel about her preferring sex with her girlfriend rather than you.
Personally I would be happy in your situation and would look forward to being milked to help relieve my urges. I am also not allowed to penetrate my wife and I wear the panties. I am not fortunate enough that my wife has a sexual partner and certainly not one who is willing to give me a hand job or peg me. I think you are very lucky to be in your relationship. I look forward to hearing more from you.

Well said and agree.

 

[WillieBDenied]

You are complaining about this? I would be thrilled to get a handjob to completion once a month from a "girlfriend". I have been PIV free for 60 months as of this week. It's interesting how different people have different perspectives of situations.

 

[NowIveDoneIt]

You are complaining about this? I would be thrilled to get a handjob to completion once a month from a "girlfriend". I have been PIV free for 60 months as of this week. It's interesting how different people have different perspectives of situations.

I guess it comes down to the backstory. This is against OP's will. He never wanted any of this and is being forced to do it...

 

[KyDave]

I guess it comes down to the backstory. This is against OP's will. He never wanted any of this and is being forced to do it...

My Wife and I are not flr, so I realize I don't have any standing.

I believe once I realized this was not what I signed up for I would have gotten the bolt cutters, freed myself, and tried to talk our way to some resolution. Unless both sides want to heal the relationship, it's hard to call it anything other than irreconcilable.

It's just my opinion and I'm not trying to make any value judgements. But I believe I can be saddened by, and for, the plight of others. I hope you both can (and, indeed, want to) salvage your marriage.

 

[HouseboyForHer]

Gives you free permission to speak, then is unhappy with what you say. Seems about par for course for your posts.

I have to agree. On both points.

If the set-up includes "I'll change the rules and you've signed up to me changing the rules and fucking with you by ignoring agreements," then that's what he signed up for.

However, the way I read it, he didn't. He was legitimately expecting a handjob a month in return for sacrificing PIV. That's capriciously not happening, and when he is encouraged to speak his mind, he gets told off for noticing its absence.

Some people want that, or claim to. Clearly he does not.

Peace!

 

[cogman]

The first time I read this I saw the same thing as many others. That it is cruel.

After reading it a few times and the responses I am not sure I still think that. It seems to me that your wife is more unhappy with the fact that your not happy with your current arrangement.

A lot of men here would dream of a wife who actually enjoyed pegging their husband, she just wants you to learn to enjoy it.

Maybe you should be happy she doesn’t Decimate December with her strap on, maybe that could be a new thing for you to look forward too haha

While I’d hate it if my partner banned me from having sex with her it’s still many months since I was allowed to lick her and she never touches my penis with her hand any more. Not that I am complaining there are alternatives we do.

Point being it doesn’t sound that bad actually. Being kissed while her girlfriend gave you a handjob would be a dream for some people.

It wouldn’t work for me but based on your dynamic she is right …your the one with the panties around your ankles.

 

[SAHDSubby]

A lot of men here would dream of a wife who actually enjoyed pegging their husband, she just wants you to learn to enjoy it.

Maybe you should be happy she doesn’t Decimate December with her strap on, maybe that could be a new thing for you to look forward too haha

While I’d hate it if my partner banned me from having sex with her it’s still many months since I was allowed to lick her and she never touches my penis with her hand any more. Not that I am complaining there are alternatives we do.

Point being it doesn’t sound that bad actually. Being kissed while her girlfriend gave you a handjob would be a dream for some people.

It wouldn’t work for me but based on your dynamic she is right …your the one with the panties around your ankles.

I wonder how that comment would play here if it was the husband wanting the wife to learn to enjoy anal and getting upset about it.

You learn to enjoy my kink, dammit!

 

[starflyer]

After reading a couple of times, I think he finds it quite humiliating and quietly enjoys it, as a submissive myself i give off the impression to my wife that i hate it, but to myself i love it.....In my opinion / case i believe a submissive isnt supposed to enjoy being dominated

 

[cogman]

I wonder how that comment would play here if it was the husband wanting the wife to learn to enjoy anal and getting upset about it.

In my experience it is quite surprising how many women do actually like anal, indeed I knew one once that preferred it. But I get where you are coming from.

 

[MSDB321]

.In my opinion / case i believe a submissive isnt supposed to enjoy being dominated

In my experience as a submissive, I have found that most dominant women do expect the submissive to enjoy the domination as I did. I don't think they would get the pleasure out of being dominant if they felt the submissive was unhappy about the experience. In fact if the submissive was actively not enjoying it, then it would be non-consensual.
As Elise Sutton used to say "Loving female authority". Dominant wives/girlfriends are sort out by submissive men, it is a win win situation. We want strict dominant women because we enjoy it.

 

[NowIveDoneIt]

My Wife and I are not flr, so I realize I don't have any standing.

I believe once I realized this was not what I signed up for I would have gotten the bolt cutters, freed myself, and tried to talk our way to some resolution. Unless both sides want to heal the relationship, it's hard to call it anything other than irreconcilable.

It's just my opinion and I'm not trying to make any value judgements. But I believe I can be saddened by, and for, the plight of others. I hope you both can (and, indeed, want to) salvage your marriage.

I'm not sure if you were directing the marriage saving to me or OP.

If you read OP's story from the beginning you may understand the backstory I keep mentioning. OP lost his job during Covid and his wife said he was pathetic and the only way she wouldn't divorce him was if he feminized and went into chastity because he could never satisfy her. Now while there are some here who dream of this, you have to wrap your head around the fact that it broke him at the time, he didn't want any of this. It was cruel and disgusting and she has manipulated him over the years to the point that he craves whatever she will give, even when it's still cruel.

We on this site all live in a world that 99% of the population would call cruel, manipulative, weird, you name it. So we are used to the whacky side of things and look through that lens. But sometimes we project that dream we have onto others. Imagine you having the dream of being locked in a cell while in chastity by a dominate woman and beaten and used as a slave for the rest of your life. You would LOVE to read stories of that. You would be so happy to hear someone else is living that dream. But what if that's not their dream? That would be a dystopian nightmare worthy of that woman serving life in her own prison...

 

[Pronto Guy]

I'm not sure if you were directing the marriage saving to me or OP.

If you read OP's story from the beginning you may understand the backstory I keep mentioning. OP lost his job during Covid and his wife said he was pathetic and the only way she wouldn't divorce him was if he feminized and went into chastity because he could never satisfy her. Now while there are some here who dream of this, you have to wrap your head around the fact that it broke him at the time, he didn't want any of this. It was cruel and disgusting and she has manipulated him over the years to the point that he craves whatever she will give, even when it's still cruel.

We on this site all live in a world that 99% of the population would call cruel, manipulative, weird, you name it. So we are used to the whacky side of things and look through that lens. But sometimes we project that dream we have onto others. Imagine you having the dream of being locked in a cell while in chastity by a dominate woman and beaten and used as a slave for the rest of your life. You would LOVE to read stories of that. You would be so happy to hear someone else is living that dream. But what if that's not their dream? That would be a dystopian nightmare worthy of that woman serving life in her own prison...

Excellent points.

 

[Gentile Joe]

i think you are a very lucky man. You should put more effort into enjoying what she enjoys.

 

[NowIveDoneIt]

i think you are a very lucky man. You should put more effort into enjoying what she enjoys.

I rest my case...

 

[Mr_anonymous]

I do tend to agree this is alot of people's fantasy so they overlook how messed up it really is. That is if it's true, which at this point I'm 50/50 it's wank fodder.

 

[anasyrma]

I guess the debate is about the difference between a submissive putting his or her master/mistress's wishes first and the latter actually being cruel and not caring about their slave. I'm not sure where this situation lies. @Andrea_NL can you clarify how you feel about this?