Correlation Between Chastity and Crossdressing.

[vengash]

I'm not a crossdresser - the idea of wearing women clothing does absolutely nothing for me.

It wasn't until I came here to this forum that I noticed that many men who are into chastity are also into crossdressing. I brought this up to an old friend of mine - I've known her since the early 1990s - and I unexpectedly crossed paths with her on FetLife recently. Well, it turns out that she was in a kink relationship with a boyfriend who was into chastity and crossdressing. Hmm. So, now I'm kind of wondering how common it is for those who are practicing chastity are the same individuals crossdressing.

What are the ratios? Given a random sample of 100 men into chastity how many are also crossdressers? 25%, 50%, 75%?

Or, maybe correlation is more that if you're a crossdresser the likelihood of practicing chastity is higher. I bet that's it.

Thoughts?

 

[chasteandcold]

I can't say for sure but I'd bet a 50/50. I'm not into it into it but...
Set and setting.
I've worn women's underwear at the encouragement of my wife and voluntary. That about as far as I'd go personally. I imagine there are degrees some folks do it too. Some may like it but, some may hate it and like being told to do it.

 

[Mr_anonymous]

Being in chasity doesn't make anyone do anything they're absolutely against in my opinion. It does however serve as a gateway to other kinks that have been ignored or suppressed. So the ones that do cross dress, suck a dick I could go on. That's always been there. The cage just gave them an excuse to finally do it. Being feminized, homosexual, bisexual all that has zero appeal to me. That wouldn't change if I spent a thousand years in this thing. As far as a ratio it's hard to tell. Here skews any actual realistic figures. As it it does seem to attract alot of sissies and the like.

 

[atxmtb]

You brought it up. I wasn't going to. But lately when I'm reading posts on this site, I'm thinking, "Why are there so many posts about crossdressing on a chastity site?" I don't see the overlap. To me they are entirely different. I have zero interest in female clothes. I don't like the look. Yet there seems to be a fair amount of folks interested in it. I don't get it. I suppose it has something to do with humiliation. This begs the question, why do folks want to get humiliated? I guess locking up your junk is a form of humiliation. It doesn't have to be though.

 

[SubBill1959]

As for me trying to look like a woman, like many others, I have no interest. I’d be a pretty ugly woman, too. I’ve seen what I look like without facial hair.

That said, I am very turned on by being humiliated. That is, being embarrassed. My keyholder has once (so far) had me dress in stockings and a cheap, Halloween costume of a maid’s dress. That was just for her. No public display. It was hot because I was “made” to do it.

But no. I would not go out and buy real women’s clothing, shave my face, put on lipstick, makeup, and a wig, etc. just not something I’d do. Again, I’d make a pretty ugly woman.

 

[Mr_anonymous]

We're not big on humiliation either, none at all publicity. In our case she'll have me hump her butt caged with a condom on. Avoids messing up her panties, while telling me this is closest I'll ever get to being inside her again. Thats about the worse thing we do I'd label humiliating. Cross dressing, being cucked etc has no appeal to either of us.

 

[DonnaSue]

I suspect that you are correct, @Mr_anonymous , when you suggested that being caged provides an excuse to unleash hidden desires that otherwise would not have come to the front. In my case, I fell in love with Women's lingerie in puberty and suppressed and hid those feelings for decades before my wife discovered it and forced me to confess my weakness. She then used that very weakness as a way to control and to humiliate me. That went on, casually, for a few years before She suggested the cage and now, the rest is history. I have chatted with other sissies who have had similar experiences. As far as percentages, I think that would differ greatly depending on whether caging was initiated due to the interests of the Mistress or the sub. I always seemed to know, deep down, that I had the lingerie fetish, but it would still be a secret though, had She not acted upon it.

 

[DonnaSue]

Forgot to mention that I think that comparing cages to crossdressing is a matter of correlation rather than causation. It's like the correlation between ice cream and drowning both happening when the weather is hot - a correlation but not to say that "people who eat ice cream will drown", which would be a "causation". IMHO, there are many correlations that can exist between chastity and Crossdressing, but there is no direct causation.

 

[vengash]

I completely forgot about this (well, more like blocked the memory).

I know a transgender person in real life. For years we've had a professional relationship together - and we are friends. When I first met this person he was presenting as a male. After working together for a couple of years he/she came out as female - and informed all of us that she was coming out. Okay, cool. It was during his/her coming out period that I noticed a lack of confidence over transitioning. He/she was always asking the rest of us for permission to wear women's clothing - if it was okay if she/he wore this or that.

One night the lack of confidence showed itself yet again. That's when I flippantly decided to use an opposite psychology approach to address the issue. I wasn't being mean - but, I felt that this person just needed a good kick in the ass. Just put the f'ing dress on or quit asking us if it's okay. So, in a tough-love style I said something like, 'we're going to put you in the girliest tutu and make you wear that in front of everyone next week.' I suppose that was my old school approach - similar to how they once taught kids who were scared of the water how to swim - just throw 'em in the water - and it'll work itself out.

Boy, did that approach backfire on me. Anyone care to guess what unexpectedly came up - and totally blindsided me?

Apparently, He/she liked that I was verbalizing the act of 'forcing' her to wear a tutu - AND THEN ADDED to that conversation by suggesting that we also put her in a chastity belt. We work together - the work we do has absolutely nothing to do with kink or crossdressing whatsoever. Most importantly *I* do not want to interact with this person sexually in any way at all - ever.

You can't make this shit up. I just looked at him/her straight in the eyes and said, "What the fuck!?!?" and never interacted on that topic ever again. Jesus.

It was then I made a mental note that all of this, the crossdressing, was just a fetish - at least with this one individual.

 

[SissyAnnabelle]

Hello there
Fascinating forum , with a lot of good vibes
Sorry for my English, as I am French.

In my opinion, they are different ways to use the cage :
The first one is one that’s the device was designed : your partner , the KH, controls your hability to have sex.
But with no cuckolding, humiliation or dom-sub relationship. You do it because your sexdrive is bigger than your will, the same way you use glasses if you have bad eyes.
The cage free your mind, and you don’t have to make an effort to stay faithful to your partner. One you are together , you can remove the cage, have a balanced relationship.

The second one is the FLR , which some kind of femdom relationship (assuming is a MF relationship) : they are humiliation , privation of sex for long period , and you can had cuckolding
Deepest in this kind of usage , the Woman can remove all masculinity by CD the partner, against is will,
It is clearly a sub-dom relation.

The third is the CD utilisation
The cage removes a part of your masculinity , it is a fetish , as stockings, wigs or high heels, it helps to focus on other parts of yourself.

Of course you can mix-match all this categories

 

[Mandrake_74]

Not for me I'm afraid.

 

[VATickler]

... This begs the question, why do folks want to get humiliated? I guess locking up your junk is a form of humiliation. It doesn't have to be though.

Well, that's an entirely different topic for sure where loads of men and women enjoy intense arousal from erotic humiliation play (be it light or heavy). I mean, I don't think it's a reach to say that CFNM (privately with their partner) has a conscious or subconscious appeal to most into chastity. They may not be actually thinking about it as they're naked and locked and their partner is clothed and less vulnerable.
Also, we don't find it unusual for submissive or vanilla women to get a charge when the male is topping and calls her a dirty little slut during sex. Anwyay... LOL
But yes, surely, erotic humiliation and chastity are mutually exclusive things.

 

[Nostromo]

I am not into crossdressing at all, but after a decade on this forum, the connection seems obvious. Some (not all) CD/preop TS folk seem to like the idea of nullifying the penis. I think that is also the reason you see so many inverted cages here - the penis disappears entirely. I know that dynamic isn’t true of every CD/TS person here, but it seems true of some. But, I’ll defer to people who are actually into this on whether this makes any sense.

 

[VATickler]

I completely forgot about this (well, more like blocked the memory).

I know a transgender person in real life. For years we've had a professional relationship together - and we are friends. When I first met this person he was presenting as a male. After working together for a couple of years he/she came out as female - and informed all of us that she was coming out. Okay, cool. It was during his/her coming out period that I noticed a lack of confidence over transitioning. He/she was always asking the rest of us for permission to wear women's clothing - if it was okay if she/he wore this or that.

One night the lack of confidence showed itself yet again. That's when I flippantly decided to use an opposite psychology approach to address the issue. I wasn't being mean - but, I felt that this person just needed a good kick in the ass. Just put the f'ing dress on or quit asking us if it's okay. So, in a tough-love style I said something like, 'we're going to put you in the girliest tutu and make you wear that in front of everyone next week.' I suppose that was my old school approach - similar to how they once taught kids who were scared of the water how to swim - just throw 'em in the water - and it'll work itself out.

Boy, did that approach backfire on me. Anyone care to guess what unexpectedly came up - and totally blindsided me?

Apparently, He/she liked that I was verbalizing the act of 'forcing' her to wear a tutu - AND THEN ADDED to that conversation by suggesting that we also put her in a chastity belt. We work together - the work we do has absolutely nothing to do with kink or crossdressing whatsoever. Most importantly *I* do not want to interact with this person sexually in any way at all - ever.

You can't make this shit up. I just looked at him/her straight in the eyes and said, "What the fuck!?!?" and never interacted on that topic ever again. Jesus.

It was then I made a mental note that all of this, the crossdressing, was just a fetish - at least with this one individual.

Digressing...

Youch. Yeah that seems definitely over the top. IF that person was truly hurt, I hope you were able to apologize (not for your thoughts but for how/what you spoke). Your first thought to just say "We're all fine with you being you, but were not fine with you constantly asking for permission when we already approved," is extremely VALID!

Because "her" constantly doing that is almost them pulling you all into "her" kink, whether "she" intended to or not. Just as we wouldn't ask if it's okay to wear chastity at work and a woman who is submissive at home wouldn't ask permission to use the bathroom or sit in a chair just because their home dominant told them to.
Or, even worse, this person may have been constantly asking hoping elicit a moment of humiliation or public shaming (it's possible but odds are against. For example, waaaay back in middle school, a girl I knew pretended to be lesbian in order to get attention and would try andbait people into saying anti-gay things so she could react in an offended manner. Nobody took the bait and she wound up giving that up!).

Either way, it's wrong for "her" to do that.

You mention CD being a fetish. I'd tend to agree with that, and might even go so far to say that CD in a vacuum could be considered inappropriate in the work place...? However... if this person is "transgender", that's not a fetish. That's a whole different thing that doesn't have anything to do with sex/kink/fetish/arousal.

Most likely is this person, though brave enough to come out, has spend the majority of their life feeling EXTREMELY insecure, and "she" feels a need for validation and comfort and approval. Problem is, it is NOT "her" co-worker's responsibility to provide anything other than a safe/accommodating workplace. So you were right to say something... but that something just happened to be "not the right thing".

Man, this thing went 90 degrees, didn't it? LOL

So if "she" happens to do that again, that's the approach I would take. Explaining that it isn't appropriate to "involve" you all in affirming their sexuality that way. "She" might see the light bulb go off and become aware that's what "she" has been doing, and then it likely would never happen again.

 

[VATickler]

Long version of what’s already been said.

Correlation?

Well, judging by the fact that any search of kink/porn media for chastity winds up with the bulk of results including forced fem / cross-dressing… there seems to be one*.

HOWEVER, we all know correlation does NOT = causation.

I am not into CD, FF, or sissy myself, though I understand the erotic/emasculating/ego reducing humiliation appeal of FF for subs.

Here's how I see it.

The alleged correlation is NOT from a chastity-based foundation. Rather, chastity is a “part” of erotic pleasure on TOP of that person’s arousal from CD/FF/Sissy/humiliation, etc. I'd hypothesize chastity is merely the cherry on top for their kink... maybe an oversized portion of whipped cream, but still not the main dessert.

Logic being if a male is no longer male/masculine, then that also means not being able to access the penis or pleasure it, hence (short of neutering), chastity (particularly, tiny, PINK chastity). What was a penis looks more like a clitoris or “unmanly” male in said device. In a way, it’s removing the physical maleness via genitals being compact, emasculated, and unusable.
YET, remove chastity as a physical device, those individuals will still be most intensely aroused from CD/FF/Sissy.
That can’t be said of anyone who’s foundation was in chastity and orgasm control. They might get a kick out of their partner occasionally humbling them forcing panty wear or something like that simply for the erotic humiliation or punishment aspect, but that person is less interested in the attire as they are the D/s play and the consensual non-consent aspect of obedience.

To throw a parallel: Ask those in the other sections whether CD/FF is correlated with bisexual sex (forced or other). I doubt the # who’d say yes would be very small.

Is it very possible that chastity can be a gateway toward those other things? Sure, that’s possible. I was well over 30 before chastity/tease and denial and orgasm control were revealed to me and that came from increased exposure to media/stories via my one of my primary fetishes (which genuinely has no correlation with chastity at all).

For me, it stops there. For someone else, they may be very interested in chastity and orgasm control… but because so much of the media and shared fantasies of others involve CD/FF/Sissy, it may indeed start to have an appeal for them.
It really depends on the person, but I would estimate that the number of “gateway to CD” folks is minute compared to those who started with that interest and chastity became part of it.

If anything, I’d like to think that those who primarily stay in this section of CM are more aroused and excited by their PARTNER’S femininity being the catalyst. That their femininity is the power over the sexually denied/frustrated submissive male. NOT because they wish to be feminine themselves.

*I never yuck on someone else’s yum. But personally, I find the lack of balance and variety very very frustrating. For example, look for pegging videos and it seems 90% involve feminized or CD male and titles that are violent, derogatory, or humiliating. Search prostate orgasm and it seems you have to go past dozens of solo amateur flicks of CD males riding realistic shaped large dildos while they wear fishnets/garters, bras, etc. before you might see a female milking male clip.
So sadly, it can be misleading for someone trying to introduce chastity play to their partner. And that partner might immediately imply (based on having seen at least some media) that the person is into CD.

We’re in this section of the forum for a reason. This large contingent who don’t have interest in CD/FF/Sissy. That, alone, confirms the lack of causal correlation of chastity and CD.

 

[Now Alexandra]

Our journey is different than the majority of this thread because chastity was a gateway to feminization for us. Couple of thoughts here:

I disagree that a desire for femininity must be suppressed within the submissive for feminization to flourish. I was not predisposed prior to us choosing this path.

I believe what we see online skews the ratio. There’s so much feminization and sissy play tied to chastity on the interwebs. Being on this site - and even this thread - confirms it’s out of whack. I’d put the real world number at around 75% chastity/no femme and 25% chastity/femme. That’s cocktail napkin, anecdotal math, but feels about right based on my conversations with people here at CM.

I enjoy humiliation when my wife does it. I’m not entirely sure why, but it taps into my basest submissive feelings and turns me like crazy.

My wife (and Domme/KH) didn’t choose feminization because femininity is “weak.” Think about it - why would a Dominant Female who views women as superior equate feminization with weakness? We think that’s a submissive male construct. It makes zero sense.

 

[Thomas Gangman]

There are plenty of men who are not into chastity who are cross dressers or wear ladies undergarments under their clothes. While there may be a number of cage wearers who cross dress, I don't believe it is rampant. M y wife prefers I wear no clothes in the summer out by the pool or indoors when we soak in the hot tub. This way she gets to see my cage on full display and nothing in the way. The rest of the time I'm in my normal clothes going about my business.

My wife tried putting me in panties once and nearly broke her ribs laughing her ass off. Besides, I would never make an attractive woman.

 

[starflyer]

In my case chastity and wearing fem clothing go hand in hand, I'm hetro, not in to make up etc. or going out of the house dressed, only in undergarments.... so far LOL.
I love that my wife owns my cock and my sex life, and the humiliation this brings with me wearing fem clothing.
But each to their own.

 

[JaySaysYes]

Nope, not forme.

I see no relationship between being in chatisty and being a transvestite or LARPing as a woman.

 

[cagedclarissa]

I’m in an FLR in which my Wife has encouraged and supported my cross-dressing for years. It was only when she began cuckolding me that she started to cage what she now refers to as my “sissy stick” or “sissy clit.” I can imagine a cage without panties (and vice versa), but for us they are both integral parts of the same dynamic / lifestyle.

 

[Rick in chastity]

Not for me and really not for my wife/KH. She's all about her control over a type A man, in our case, me. But we think every couple should express themselves the way they see fit. I believe you are correct with your thoughts on the actual break down of who's into what. On some sites you'd think that all FLRs and cage wearing husbands just want to sit and watch their wives with other guys. The whole cuck bull thing.

 

[Lancerexford]

I'm not a crossdresser - the idea of wearing women clothing does absolutely nothing for me.

It wasn't until I came here to this forum that I noticed that many men who are into chastity are also into crossdressing. I brought this up to an old friend of mine - I've known her since the early 1990s - and I unexpectedly crossed paths with her on FetLife recently. Well, it turns out that she was in a kink relationship with a boyfriend who was into chastity and crossdressing. Hmm. So, now I'm kind of wondering how common it is for those who are practicing chastity are the same individuals crossdressing.

What are the ratios? Given a random sample of 100 men into chastity how many are also crossdressers? 25%, 50%, 75%?

Or, maybe correlation is more that if you're a crossdresser the likelihood of practicing chastity is higher. I bet that's it.

Thoughts?

What are you waiting for? Do the research. Get back to us.

 

[WillieBDenied]

none

 

[shannonsanders]

For a lot of people, whatever your kink is, chastity spices it up. At a fairly young age, I realized that my interest in crossdressing had a strong sexual component, so building up my sex drive with chastity also built up my desire to dress. I think there is also an overlap with gender identity/roles that chastity involves placing the p-nis into an unconventional role.There is also an overlap of being open minded, fluid etc.

But - I’ve been in and out of kink for half of my life, and am always surprised by what real people do in their lives and why they do it. It’s not really possible to draw conclusions based on some message boards.

Sometimes there seems to be unnecessary angst that pursuing desires in one kink will uncover unwanted desires about another kink. Overall, I think life is too short not to experiment.

 

[sissybetawimp]

Personally for me the wearing of panties was something I did from when I was a teenager to humiliate myself and as a reflection of my feelings that I was not a “real” man, hence thinking of myself as a sissy. As I learned more chastity became obvious because locking my dick away and denying my orgasms made me even less of a real man, so for me it was more been a beta male was the causation that led to chastity for me