Do we function as a male chastity support group?

While there are some 'less than helpful' posts/comments, I've seen a number of people who rejuvenated their relationships with chastity. Who figured out a way to be intimate with their partners in a new way. Guys usually initiate sex which isn't always on the same schedule and priorities as their lovely lady; chastity gives her an excuse to grant, defer or deny and exercise power without being 'cold.'

My own journey into being chaste for her was a little bit emotional as I realized the toll that kids, responsibilities and my own solo play had created a divide in our intimacy. For as many years as we have been doing this, she still doesn't understand how important it is to me but has seen the results and has taken advantage of the benefits. Most importantly for us, it has opened a path for communication which maybe we had taken for granted over decades of marriage.

I can't think of anyone other than you folks (the chastened few) with whom I can share these revelations. Along the way maybe we encourage someone else to take up the way of the cage which might enhance the relationship of another couple. How you do it and what rules you set are up to you as long as it works. It brings you together and that is the entire point of the exercise.

When we started, I read about people going a year or more without an O and couldn't imagine what would drive someone to a monk-like status of chastity. These days I'm a little disappointed when she decides she wants me to orgasm without a proper duration like 90 days. Be careful what you wish for.

Are we a support group? Sure. I am thankful that you're all here and sharing your own experiences as I measure what else we might consider or do differently. Why we do it. What outcomes might be expected or goals set.

 

Good stuff right here!

 

A guy who does weekend play dates trying to lecture someone lives with his kh and lives it 24/7, priceless. Keep ranting though.

 

Really, stop. It’s unseemly.

 

Oh for fuck sake. Stop it. Dial it down and let's actually be supportive. We have more in common than our differences, most likely.

 

You annoy the crap out of me, pal.

Just kidding. I find you fascinating, even the cranky part.

Peace!

 

For what it's worth, I've been really active on this site for only a few months, but I've found it very supportive. Maybe it's the threads I choose to read.

And if I ask a question, I try to do so in as bland and businesslike manner as I can. I've had very good responses to cage questions, etc. If I felt like I needed support, I'd ask for it without appearing to brag about my situation or even giving many details.

Once I asked if anyone else felt the way I did about taking pride in my lock-up duration, instead of going insane with desire to end it, since my Wife had a low libido and I was committed to staying chaste until She wanted me. I thought that was humble and boring enough, but I was definitely told that I was doing it wrong, including one wag who said "all couples truly in love have fantastic sex." Fortunately @Muppet told me to relax and let it slide.

So there are bland ways to ask for support that bore the trolls. But the judgmentalism and combativeness? You gotta just look past that, I guess. One of the reasons I end all my posts with...

Peace!!

 

Try striking up a "chat" with someone whose posts work for you. You might develop a real friendship, like I have.

Peace!

 

That’s a great idea. Surprisingly not one I’ve considered since I didn’t want to “step out of line and bother anyone” or be told I’m “doing it wrong”. Thanks for the recommendations. I think I will do just that.

Have to ask, have you done that and created a real friendship from someone on here? That’s truly awesome.

 

Yes I have. More than one, but one very good one. My humble advice; put a thoughtful description of your situation in your profile “about me” (whatever it is called) and maybe a couple of photos in an album, and keep posting nice things. People will find you.

Conversely, search out relatively recently joined (last couple of years) people whose posts you appreciate, and send them a “chat” hello message, saying you have XYZ in common that you thought you could talk about. If I were that person, I would definitely take you up on the offer, but that’s how I’m wired at this point in my life.

Ergo, feel free to chat me up!

Thanks for the nice words, and to everyone, Peace!!

 

I’ll sometimes initiate a private chat if want to learn more about something someone has said, or offer some form of advice without placing it in a stream where I know some third party is likely to jump in and trash it. I generally aim to avoid fanning the flames of conflict and judgementalism that occasionally appear here. Private messaging is a way to do that. If someone doesn’t want to pick up on it, no harm done. But what I’ve found is that most are appreciative.

 

It can't hurt to try reaching out to someone who you resonate with...there are very real, sincere people on here. I've made several good relationships and had some meaningful, great conversations.

If you're told you're doing it wrong, you'll know you're talking to the wrong person for you (nothing against them, don't take it personally). If you strike up a good conversation, you've found a keeper.

 

It really is a very benign community. Even some with whom I frequently joust are decent folk, it’s amicable banter. @JaySaysYes for example is a thoroughly top-notch sort of a cove.

 

Agreed. And @JaySaysYes and I have had some great conversations, he's provided some good insights and been very helpful.

 

I'm tearing up, we need a group hug.

Currently, I'm larping as a female, you insensitive clod

 

is a thoroughly top notch bit of totty?
is a classy dame?
is a gal in a million?

I don’t really know how ladies like to be spoken of these days, it’s possible those epithets might offend the more woke types.

 

Ducking misogynistic bustard! Leave the poor girl alone.

 

I love how autocorrect tries to stop me from cursing.

 

It matters not. I was thinking about changing my gender ID anyway since I get around 1,000 metric tons of messages each day from horny overweight middle-aged men asking me to control their peens.

It's just so tiresome.

 

It's behaviour control, to stop your potty mouth from spewing its foul contents all over the webosphere.

 

I call Bullshit. Why don't you bugger off to the fantasy section.

 

@OrdinaryGuy this is another classic example. Note the size of the penis, the poor structure, the inconsistency with other posts by same person.
I’m sure the last sentence is true though.

 

Obviously you’re correct but why even bother to “call” it? It’s not good enough for the fantasy section.

 

Definitely learning here; thank you. It's a shame because there such an important need to learn about this. There are serious pitfalls to avoid regarding health, safety, emotional distress, and serious relationship consequences.

Fantasy is fun when you know it's fantasy, but when it's framed as truth, it's just misleading misinformation that could cause unnecessary distress.

Thanks for helping me sort this out. The whole thing is new to me (about a year in) and I'm just trying to make this all work. It's hard at times and I rely on other people's experiences for guidance. But when they exaggerate like that, it makes me feel like, oh boy, what am I in for? Is this what it's going to be like if I continue playing this game of hers? Is she going to ask this of me next? It's anxiety inducing when the best benefit of this site is the exact opposite!