Half year or just halfway through?

Hand him the keys and give him 30 seconds to decide. If he hands them back then well I guess it would need to be the year

 

@margarett has his fate been decided? It’s June now..

 

If your comment was addressed to me ....then your perception of my partner's gender is, under the circumstances, as wrong as it could ever possibly be.

 

Nope, just the first line.

I suppose I could have tagged @margarett at the beginning of that next paragraph.

 

Tell him if he can go a month without him letting you play with his penis, he can have an orgasm. He has to refuse to let you play with it even if you ask. If he can’t resist the temptation for 30 days, he doesn’t get an orgasm for a year. That would be to torture but you would be making him make the choice which he will almost certainly end up locked for a year.

 

It’s hard for me to answer this question because every couple is different. My wife really enjoys me being chaste. I love pleasing her and there is an emotional component involved for me that makes being chaste seem very rewarding because I see how happy it makes her.

I am also a very compulsive person when it comes to orgasms. Once I start having them on any regular basis, I can’t get enough. I want more, and more, and more. It’s very much all or nothing for me. I either need to abstain totally from orgasms or have them two or more times per day. So, we have decided that it is best for me not to be allowed any, because I find it very hard to control myself.

I don’t know how to describe how desire changes over time, I’ll do my best. The desire level fluctuates over time. The first month of being denied is pretty intense. This is the phase most couples never get beyond, and why those practicing short term chastity find that the man’s desire for orgasm increases.

After about a month you start adjusting to being the orgasm-less partner. You start learning to enjoy your partner’s orgasms and that, for me, was when I started accepting that being chaste could be satisfying. Once I got used to focusing solely on my wife’s orgasms, I started really enjoying them more than my own. And as my wife felt safer and more confident knowing that I was dedicated to being chaste, her orgasms really improved. We both enjoyed her orgasms much more, and it became clear that mine were an obstacle to intimacy.

It’s usually around the three month mark that the cycle changes. I’m not sure if it’s hormonal or what, but this is the timeframe when for some reason I start really wanting an orgasm. Maybe it’s hormonal, or maybe it’s a kind of jealousy of wanting to feel what my wife feels. I’m not sure. I just know that around 90 days I yearn for it.

That usually lasts a week or two, then the cycle starts over and it just goes like this indefinitely. Over the months it gets easier to cope with.

The one thing that I see that is kind of a red flag is that you seem like you’re doing this because he likes it, and other wise you wouldn’t really be all that interested in it. If it doesn’t really excite you, then you’ll have problems when the going gets tough. He’ll want quit when it gets hard, and if it isn’t special and important to you, he won’t really feel motivated to keep going. Then it will be back to how things used to be.

 

I just read some of your history (maybe I should have done that first) and I think you can keep him going as long as you want. It seems like you like what you’re doing.

I would keep your promise, though. Give him a release in May as promised. What you do after that is up to you .

I will say that starting over after a long lockup is tough as the chaste partner. I would keep the next lockup long, too, just to keep him from having to go through the starting over cycle too frequently.

I haven’t seen keyholderwife on here in a while, but you might want to look her up and message her for advice. She also keeps her husband locked for long stretches. I think a little over a year last time she posted. She can probably give you advice on how to keep things interesting if you want to go much longer than 5 months.

 

Really well said @Shepherdsflock I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm somewhat in between the long term and short term lock-ups myself. Twice now I've done about 4 months. More often it's in the 30 - 90 day range. We never have scheduled releases. I think @margarett question about frequency of orgasms affecting desire is insightful. I have found my orgasms to be less pleasant after long lock-ups as opposed to really pleasant after shorter lock-ups.

 

I have experienced the same thing. First orgasm after a long lockup is usually not that great. The excitement and pleasure of some teasing is usually better than an actual orgasm once you get past a few months.

 

To quote Nick Lowe, you gotta' be cruel to be kind. Keep him locked up so he doesn't suffer from too many orgasms

You realize, of course, that calling 30-90 days less than long term just shows how far we've fallen? 4-12 spurts per year? I used to masturbate that much every week, and have sex too. How the mighty have fallen.

 

well i guess..im still learn for long term..so im voting for 1 option...

 

I recall reading about a guy that was given a 6 sided dice. His score was to be the number of orgasms he could have in a year. And he could choose when. But every time he chose when to have one the number he could have next year was to be reduced by one.

What became of him I do not recall ever knowing.. probably just the ramblings of a fantasy merchant.
None the less it's quite a dilemma ...as would be any situation where you know the number of orgasms you are going to have each year is gradually dwindling.

Just thought I'd add some food for thought.

 

let him have one sometimes it is worse, because one is never enough

 

None is also never enough. Depends on what she wants for him.

 

You're absolutely right! I didn't think that through, did I?

Okay, I would go for his birthday. What you don't need to say until afterwards is that it's the last until his next birthday...

 

Totally agree and at times this freaks me out. Still in the interest of transparency my releases seem to be different from most. Once she lets me cum I usually have a 48 hour window with at least 3 orgasms total. It seems like am averaging 4-5 releases a year. So that equates to probably 12 - 20 spurts a year.

 

Sort of a chastity-free vacation or long weekend. I remember reading a similar mode of release from Sarah of BCWYWF.

 

Tell him maybe you meant May next year.

 

I think you should keep him guessing. Perhaps offer him a date for his orgasm but then when it comes to the time have him securely restrained and on the brink of orgasm before announcing that he made some sort of indiscretion (you can decide what this is - it could be very trivial, it's not like he's in a position to protest!) and inform him that as a result he will be locked back up for another x number of months.

He'll be going mad with frustration and will work even harder to keep you happy. I think it is also worth having fairly regular edging sessions where he knows he's not going to get an orgasm. In my experience of being regularly edged my Mistress prevents me from hitting that lull period and I am pretty much horny at all times.

Good luck in whatever you decide. One thing is for sure, your boyfriend is an incredibly lucky chap!

 

I recall that too. I believe at one time they used to have a week where John would not be locked and be free to initiate intimate relations with no restrictions.

I could see that working for quite a few people.

 

My Lady has questions about your chap margarett.
Does he know you are in charge?
Why does he think he needs to know when his next orgasm might be?
What makes him think he even knows whether or not he will be having another orgasm?

I have been told my denial is Indefinite. That is to say it might not be permanent yet or indeed it might already be.. as I have promised never to ask anything about my orgasms like when how or if, or indeed future erections, I will never know my Lady's intentions. Of course she might choose to tell me but she might change her mind. Why would I want to know when not knowing is so much more ?

 

Indeed, for many husbands such a practice, if rare enough (1-3x per year?), might create even more submission as a periodic reminder of what you have sacrificed for her./ what she's taken from you.

 

Perhaps it would serve better to refresh your awareness of what each of you have received from each other and why.