Hardships of Chastity

Goddess goes through spurts where she has no interest at all for a week, or two, or even three. These weeks are incredibly difficult to say the least, but then she snaps back. When she snaps back and shows interest again, it makes it all worth it. If the lack of interest ever became perpetual, I don't see how chastity could possibly work for either of us. I am certain I would resent being locked and forgotten, that resentment would manifest itself in my demeanor, and in turn make her resent the cage as well.

 

For us it is about intimacy first but not at the expense of actual sex. Right now we are having sex often to meet my requirement for the vasectomy. Believe it or not it is possible to have sex too often. It ceases being special. When things are normal we are extremely intimate almost every night and it culminates in sex about once a week. Chastity for us has taught us balance and what loving someone is actually all about.

I agree, I cannot imagine being in a relationship where sex and intimacy were denied. I remember our early years when we struggled with both. Missy had a problem with sex and I didn't appreciate intimacy. In spite of loving each other very much, the lack of a physical intimate relationship almost destroyed us.

 

I do not see staying locked or being denied orgasms in chastity play as a hardship. As I have gained more experience with chastity I have come to realize that orgasm isn't really so important and can even be an underwhelming let down when compared to the long, steady buzz of chastity and denial.

I totally agree that a lack of intimacy would create a hardship in any relationship. However, I think there is a big difference between 'sex' and 'intimacy'. Sex can of course be intimate, but you can also have sex without intimacy. You can also share incredible intimacy with someone without any sex at all. I sometimes think about very senior aged couples who most likely aren't having "sex" anymore for a number of reasons, but they are still very intimate and in love with each other and have a very fulfilling relationship. I don't think advanced age is a necessary precondition for this type and level of intimacy in a relationship without physical sex and any couple can choose this path if it works for them, even if a chastity cage might be involved.

 

Excellent question. I can survive without orgasms (for a while, at least). I can't survive without human touch and affection.

 

I agree with the others. If we are intimate, either with her initiating or me chastity is not hard, or especially hard but as she gets pleasure and you are left wanting there is the mixed feeling of wanting out, but also wanting her to do what she wants.

But when we go a long time with no intimacy or teasing it becomes more of a burden. The more teasing and acknowledgment that you are locked and not in control the better. Lack of anything is the worst.

 

Through trial and error, the wife and I have learned that we need some type of intimacy between us. By practicing chastity, we've also learned that intimacy doesn't have to involve the use of my penis.
Total denial doesn't work for us. We stay close in many ways while I'm locked up and it's great.

 

For us it's primarily tease and denial, which seems to lead to lots of intimacy (sexual and non sexual). I really like that the focus is on her pleasure. So it's not "no sex", but instead lots of sex when and how she wants it.

Over the last five and a bit weeks she's let me have three orgasms. I suppose that could be described as a hardship because I love to make love to her. But on the upside there has been lots of sexual activity over those five weeks, initiated by her, and I love that.

In some of the posts on this site I get impression that more extreme orgasm denial might be alignment of different libido in a way that allows people to still connect emotionally, though I could be wrong.

 

Intimacy doesn’t have to suffer. Intimacy isn’t limited to flesh on flesh intercourse. I have actually seen intimacy increase in my marriage with me locked in chastity. I am more affectionate. We cuddle more. I perform cunnilingus much more frequently and am much more enthusiastic when I do. I also wear a strap on to satisfy her penetration needs, and being that the faux cock is bigger and thicker, she enjoys it even more than my cock. We warm it up by soaking it in some hot water. She says it feels amazing! I love having sex that way too! So, we’re still very intimate. More than we we were before she locked me up.

 

My wife is more 'willing to take' where before chastity she was much more concerned about giving. Overall it is the switch that flips in her to demand cunnilingus without any pressure to see me orgasm or even take the time to touch me below the waist.

I would LOVE to have more teasing sessions and when she decides that she wants to spend specific time teasing me, the intimacy is just unmatched. The time we spend together is now on her terms and when she gives she does so with joy.

I have my opinions on how often I'd prefer to be teased, unlocked and be permitted an orgasm but I'm a poor judge of those things which is why I surrendered to her making the choice.