Truthfully, it's not so much the sissy thing.
I'm transgender and that's the problem. Sissy, she can deal with on an occasional basis. But I've been using the sissy inside to cope with the female feelings inside, like an aspirin.
My therapist and I decided that transition would be bad for me, medically and otherwise. I work in a hypermasculine field and stand a fair chance of being murdered one day by some transphobe. Pity, as the job itself is trans-friendly. I know of three other gurls in transition here and there, but they go home every night and work in an office. I deal with the customers directly and sometimes sleep in out-of-the-way places.
So, besides my medical issues which will complicate HRT and my smoking habit, which I wish I could conquer inhibiting surgery, I'm basically stuck like this!
I dress to escape this costume I wear every day and relax and be me for a change. The wife doesn't want all "her" time spent with the transperson but from my point of view, I only dress once a month. From hers, it's every time she sees me.
I need to talk to another therapist to help me cope with this, as my inner female is demanding to be let out and I'm having a harder and harder time keeping her inside. I just want to explode sometimes, you know?
Sheesh! Look at me, baring my soul in a public forum! I must be having a tough day.
Anyway, I'll stop bending everyone's ear about my problems and let us get back to business as usual.
Keep up the good fight!
Love
Brianna
