How do I inform my wife about locking me

I dropped hints over time as we were having sex. Mostly about how hot it would be to be locked and watch her masturbate. Eventually I purchased a cage and showed it to her, which led to a discussion, then actually wearing it an her calling the shots.

 

She wasn’t dominant as such, and she usually had me take the lead, but she led once in a while. I could see her potential, but I had to let her see her inner dominant.

 

Just tell her you don't have sex with her because you wank when she is sleeping.

Explore that conversation before you attempt to coerce her into your sexual fantasies.

 

You need to flat out tell her how you feel and tell her that you want this without making her feel upset/uncomfortable. The initial convo is the key first step, but cannot happen if you don't bring it up. Don't use anonymous emails, because that could backfire on you. Just talk to her. If you want, you can directly reference your findings to her yourself but only if she must see for herself.

As for me, I got into chastity 8 months ago because my years-long jerking habit was way out of control and stopping me from doing everyday things... If your jerking off is stopping you from having sex with your wife then you need to tell her that and ask her (not demand) to lock you up and make it clear that you want this just for her. If she's not sure about it or makes it clear that she doesn't want to lock you up, then don't pressure her... Simply talk things over and find something else that may work for the both of you.

Point is, you need to get over your fear and talk to her. Most guys don't have the balls (pun intended ) to admit things like this so it'll make you a better man to say this yourself and not send anonymous emails to her. Trust me, she'll take far more kindly to you talking directly to her.

 

Open and honest conversation. You could also read a few of the popular articles or sites that many people have used to help them along the way. “The secret to a happy marriage “ or other similar articles that are more towards informing a spouse.

for me it was a series of conversations and I shared some articles as well just to kind of broadly explain things.

 

Yes, that's what I was getting at when I suggested he refer his "findings" directly to her instead of anonymously emailing them.

 

The orginal fantasy is better, and certainly less wordy: https://tpe.serve101.org/altarboy/nt160107.htm

 

Slowly

 

What has worked for me, although very slowly, is simple. When you are around her, you unlock. When you aren't, or you're not doing anything, you lock. You don't talk about it unless she asks and when she does you say you are doing it for her (you've got to believe that though). Eventually she might see changes in you and prefer the locked you. The downside is it's not kinky and it doesn't involve sex or an orgasm. The upside is it shows a commitment and it tends to make you very virile. When she gets there, she will support you being locked up. It's pretty much taken us 8 months for this. She kept thinking it was just a phase. But she noticed a change in me when I was locked. Through no action of her own. At 6 months, I stopped wearing it for about a month. I reverted to the old me. Not a horrible guy, but not whom she had been appreciating. She actually missed me locking up but never mentioned it. Until I started locking back up again. She was relieved. "I'm glad you decided to put it back on" she said. For the last few weeks now, I am locked and she is happy about it.

 

That's risky, but I'm glad to hear it worked for you.

 

Sit down on the evening with a tipple and talk to her about it, maybe ask her if she wants to try something new first.