In some ways, I'm in an FLR. But it isn't talked about really.

DrChastity

DrChastity

sub CD, mtf (ish?) seeking keyholder
Mar 7, 2018
54
255
33
Oregon
I'm way into chastity but my wife is not. So I self lock and continue to feel her out from time to time. It just doesn't call to her. But what's funny is that when it comes to running the household and family, she usually comes up with the plans and makes the big decisions on the high level aspects, and does so really well. I have much more confidence in her leading me and our family that with me in charge. I don't mind being responsible for maintaining the home, the tools, the yard, the dog, etc... I work from home and don't work that much anyway.
She's so busy with work and all the other stuff she's involved in. Yep, she's that type. I love her and respect her and would do anything for her, but deep down she's not a dominant person. But letting me do my chastity thing on the side I think she'd be cool with. If she got to keep 1 key just in case... Hmmm... This could work. If only I could find a Keyholder... They're pretty rare indeed.
 
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My wife is an interesting combination of some of the various characteristics. On one hand she is so smart, talented, friendly, supportive, giving, caring... She doesn't seem to know what a strong person she is and how much her peers and team respect her. You get the picture. But when it comes to FLR and/or chastity, she seems truly non-interested. Maybe if I brought up the FLR aspect and told her that I just wanted to support her but would like it if she led the relationship. Things would just flow better, I'd get more done, I could make her life easier... So many things could result from her stepping up that would make her life easier. And I'd love to get to (or rather, be 'forced' to) worship her pussy, ass, feet, heels, etc. every night if she wanted.
I think I'll give it one more go with her and if that doesn't work, I'll bring up the idea of having someone else be my keyholder. So would she allow it and what would her conditions be? I guess we shall see.
 
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DrChastity said:
I think I'll give it one more go with her and if that doesn't work, I'll bring up the idea of having someone else be my keyholder. So would she allow it and what would her conditions be? I guess we shall see.
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I can't speak to your wife, but I can't see many women being ok with the idea of her partner finding another woman to manage his penis, even if no physical contact ever occurs. For one, there is some sort of emotional connection otherwise you'd just continue to self lock and that can and probably should be viewed as a form of cheating.
 
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DrChastity said:
My wife is an interesting combination of some of the various characteristics. On one hand she is so smart, talented, friendly, supportive, giving, caring... She doesn't seem to know what a strong person she is and how much her peers and team respect her. You get the picture. But when it comes to FLR and/or chastity, she seems truly non-interested. Maybe if I brought up the FLR aspect and told her that I just wanted to support her but would like it if she led the relationship. Things would just flow better, I'd get more done, I could make her life easier... So many things could result from her stepping up that would make her life easier. And I'd love to get to (or rather, be 'forced' to) worship her pussy, ass, feet, heels, etc. every night if she wanted.
I think I'll give it one more go with her and if that doesn't work, I'll bring up the idea of having someone else be my keyholder. So would she allow it and what would her conditions be? I guess we shall see.
Click to expand...

My opinion is you're playing with fire if you suggest a 3rd party handle a key.

First and foremost, I'd recommend evaluating what is it that she objects to. A famous author Steven Covey once said "Seek to Understand Before Being Understood". With that mantra as a starting point what is it your wife objects to? Have you tried self locking and staying chaste for 2-3 weeks? See if your wife recognizes the benefits. DO NOT TOP FROM THE BOTTOM!

I can go on and on but I hate to write. Others have written very good outlines. I suggest reading and doing what they suggest.

My wife and I have been playing with Chastity since 1993 a whopping 25 years. When we first started, there was only one good source; Altairboy's web site (RIP Q3 2018). It took my wife 5 years to understand her control, and me to become more submissive.

Good Luck!
FlyBoyCFI
Down & Locked...Check
 
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Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I can almost always use them too. I will read more and talk less, and keep my fingers crossed. Something pretty awesome happened this morning also, which I was very surprised by.

I had used Chastikey last night to self lock, with no other plans. But this morning, when I was lying in bed with my wife, in chastity, I asked her if she wanted to fool around. She needed to get going for the day and had to decline, but she took her time in actually getting out of bed and we did cuddle enough for her hand to make its way down to my penis. So she immediately knew I had self-locked. The awesome thing was how long her hand loitered there. Several minutes. It was heaven.

So I'm going to take another stab at presenting something attractive to her, and go slowly with it. I think if I can wake her up to servicing her pussy either orally or digitally, and try this several times, then maybe she'll see one of the benefits of having a chaste man. And if I kick things up a notch around the house, staying self locked, maybe she'll have some appreciation for that also, and might be more inclined to experiment with FLR and chastity. Fingers crossed. Maximum Effort! (ha ha ha)...
-dc
 
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Getting someone else to act as KH seems a really bad idea.

I'd also be careful how you broach the subject with your wife. She sounds wonderful, but you can be assertive without knowing or meaning to be or even wanting to be. So you may just need to accept her as she is. Good luck to you both.
 
DrChastity said:
So I'm going to take another stab at presenting something attractive to her, and go slowly with it. I think if I can wake her up to servicing her pussy either orally or digitally, and try this several times, then maybe she'll see one of the benefits of having a chaste man. And if I kick things up a notch around the house, staying self locked, maybe she'll have some appreciation for that also, and might be more inclined to experiment with FLR and chastity. Fingers crossed. Maximum Effort!
Click to expand...

By your description, you have a great woman and a great wife. Rule #1 of bringing chastity into your relationship is to quietly let her know what's in it for her. You need to make it about how you can improve your marriage, what you will bring to the table. What are the things she has been asking you for over the years? How does she want you to improve in your marriage? Do those things.
 
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