Does anyone find they get a bit irritable when not locked? Sex has always been a struggle with us. Chastity has helped. There are times when she doesn't want to play the and leaves me unlocked. I find myself becoming irritable with the lack of sex and free access to my cock. If i'm going to be denied I'd rather be locked.
Just a guess but when you're locked you feel more secure in your relationship because chastity is something you started to help improve intimacy between you and your partner. When you're unlocked and left unlocked for a period of time you might feel as though you partner doesn't care or seen as interested. I've had similar feelings and experiences, what I discovered is that my mistress doesn't think about our lifestyle as much as I do. So after we've had sex and she doesn't lock me up or make mention of locking me up right away sometimes for a day or two, I used to get a little disappointed or even slightly irritable because I felt like she didn't care as much as I did about developing and growing our lifestyle. I discovered it wasn't that she was disinterested or didn't care but it was more about her taking her own time and doing things the way she wanted to do them. Even though this lifestyle is something we've been working on together the concept of the lifestyle is to make it all about her wants and needs therefore also here timetable. I don't know if your partner has any rules against this but you should ask your partner if it's okay for you to lock up right after sex because mentally it's better for you and helps put you in the right head space. If you guys are still new to this you need to give her time to discover her inner domme and work on her timeframe. My mistress and I have been at this for over 3 years and I'm learning new things about the both of us all the time. Just talk with your partner and let her know your feelings but be respectful and remember it's about what she likes. Just my 2 cents hope this makes sense.
Oh yeah, I wanted to add my mistress at this point expects me to lock up without being told after I've been released. She doesn't ask me about it unless she thinks I've been unlocked for to long... a couple of days... Maybe that's what your partner is waiting for you to do too, just expecting you lock yourself afterwards...
Due to a trust issue, I am only locked when Mistress is away from home - at work, on business trips, out with the girls, etc. When She arrives home, I am usually unlocked with my ring remaining tightly in place, but then am required to tie my package tightly with a pink ribbon secured to my ring. At first, I looked forward to the freedom this permits me, but have come to wish to be locked securely in my cage. It just feels more natural and feminine for me that way.
On the rare occasion that I’m unlocked I can’t wit to get my cage back on. It has become my safe place of comfort. I know my limits I know what I can and can’t do. When the cage is removed and I’m alone I have a tendency to touch myself a lot not because I want to masturbate but more because I can, when I’m doing this I have that inner conflict that I shouldn’t be doing this but if she didn’t want me to touch myself than she would have locked me up. It becomes rather frustrating. I hear what your saying if your not going to use it or make it cum than keep it safely locked away.
I agree with everything @Mash2214 says, except that I do want to masturbate but know I'll be unhappy with myself if I do, and so need that option removed. If you're an alcoholic, stay out of the saloon; if you're a masturbator, keep it locked.
There's simply a lot of temptation when I'm unlocked and it just feels better and keeps my mind in the right place when I'm locked up.