Lauren's Journal

Oh behaaave!

Reminds me of "Dead puppies... aren't much fun" from Doctor Dimento!

 

Daze 6-7

I had to get some dress-up :butterfly: play-time during this period of chastity so yesterday I finished up work and took myself on a drive. I ducked into a golf course parking lot and transformed into Lauren and headed off into the hills wearing my plaid skirt, white thigh-hi stockings and black 4" cocktail heels. Of course I had my chastity device locked under my black panties so I was enjoying the feel and the view of myself as I drove through the curvy hills and roads.

Here's a pic or three of me all buckled up while taking a quick driving break.



After my brief drive I headed home, but when I got out of the car I had a killer crook in my neck and I've been all messed up since. I decided I should get as comfortable as possible, remove my chastity device and see if I could work this pain in my neck out, but I've had no luck yet so I may throw on my chastity device anyway. I've liked being all locked up this week, but I'll explain a few things about myself and chastity that I'm coming to discover about myself+chastity+femming in a future post. Well... That's all for now.

 

I've had this weird kink in my neck. :help-0031: I like kinky, but not this kind! LOL. :anim_63: Anyway I've suspended my chastity activities and am taking things slow until things normalize. My neck feels better today, but yesterday I was total pain and couldn't move much - at least my neck and shoulders.

I'm not sure why this happened, but I needed to be unhindered by anything and just be as comfortable as possible to allow my body to 'reboot'.

Hope everyone else is well and enjoying their Easter Day!

 

Hottie in the Hills

Hell yes Miss D, or should I say heel yes! Driving in heels is so fun. The heels give such a different feeling and I get an extra thrill every time I use my clutch and shift gears as my MINI responds to the curvy road - my bare thigh getting tanned in the sun all the while.

I have to say it is a bit of a turn-on en femme. I can imagine Lauren being chased (or it is chaste in which case she's been caught!) through the hills, her heart beating faster as she rounds the next turn outrunning her pursuers or maybe letting them catch her... *purrr*

And yes my neck pain still persists. Probably I was looking about to see if Lauren was noticed. She gets a thrill and a scare all at the same time - quite exhausting really. But part of the fun for Lauren is the "thrill of the chase". Building up for the moment - even if it's part fantasy is a lot of fun... It takes her breath away. And it makes her quite wet too! *double growl*

 

Pain in the ...

Oh Maid Katrin, Thank you. You're such a sweetie to compliment me. I just love that skirt - it puts me in such a state... Lauren just loves that inner tension that you speak of. It's like being a sneaky cat burglar I suppose - getting away with something naughty.

That may be the best part of it all - that thrilling sensation, but not of course if Lauren climbs out of her car cockpit with a stiff neck!

I think I've gotten stares by guys checking me out in the past. I had no idea men can be so obvious with where their eyes go... Now that's a turn on too, but it also scares the shit out of me if it's in the wrong place or it's a guy that seems a bit scary - it makes me feel vulnerable and OVER-exposed. I feel for women when a guy looks at her with those wolf eyes! *yikes*

 

Update, photos, F1, oh my...

Lauren hasn't posted to her own journal for awhile, but does find time to comment on other journals here and enjoys that a lot... So just a quick post here.

Hyperenxtended my foot and so don't want to risk wearing heels for awhile. My shoulder is messed up from volleyball, I'm a wreck and need some gentle comforting - maybe a massage? But I'm so afraid about massages that I'll get turned on and it's just too icky to talk about more.

Last night: Lauren (in man form) was asked to fornicate his wife last night. Luckily Lauren had removed the CB just prior to sliding into bed guessing that this might be a fuckable (sorry to be so blunt) night - Lauren's wife had a special work event today that makes her nervous and she always has trouble sleeping the night before - so she usually looks to her man for servicing - which is fine with him, aka Lauren. Knowing this in advance (20 years of marriage and I've got a clue sometimes) I didn't pretend to be anything but her stud and enjoyed that immensely!

And yet, in the morning I wasn't completely satiated and decided that since wife would be leaving early for her business meeting I would use this oppurtunity to dress up en femme and take some photos - which I have shared here with you all! There's just something that turns me on by taking photos of myself all dressed up as Lauren... Mmm mmm mmm, that's so fun.

Anyway, that's about it for now.
Dollyanne - we'll just see about the tan lines this summer.

 

In love with her inner self

Lauren just finished reading Id Tell You I Love You, But Then Id Have to Kill You, a coming of age tale about a girl, Cammie, who attends an all girls academy for spies. Lauren really enjoyed this book because she identified with the young characters in the story. If youve come to know Lauren through some of her posts at the mansion you know that:

• a) Lauren loves spy stuff, secrecy and stealth (as they are all ingredients in her gurl identity),
• b) She loves thinking of herself as a teenage innocent (with a slutty edge perhaps),
• c) She loves to wear plaid skirts!!,
• d) She loves to go on secret sissy missions as part of her femming.

This book had all those ingredients and was told in such an innocent way that it sent her into gurl heaven. About all Lauren can do is sigh when she thinks about it, fantasizing that she herself has entered the academy, wearing a school girl uniform and living amongst the other girls fitting in as if shes just one of the sisters. (Much like the comradery she feels with the sissies here at the Chastity Mansion).
This is her favorite quote from the book: All those years Id thought being a spy was challenging. Turns out, being a girl is the tricky part. That line hit home in such a fun way. Its hard to express how much this turns her on, gets her juices flowing, and sends Lauren into such a sissy tizzy. Lauren is learning all about "the tricky part" of femming and loves the results so far.

The thing is that this is all so innocent of a feeling. Lauren identifies with those girls as herself and its a pure innocent feeling. Its her true inner self shining through the outer male exterior and it feels wonderful. This is the feeling that Lauren strives for when shes feeling her most sissy self. This is the essence of sissydom that she desires when she dons her coquettish outfits. This is what shes feeling deep inside at her most vulnerable moments.

Alas, Lauren knows that its all a big fantasy life she yearns for, but she does love thinking of herself in this way. For her, its the fulfillment of a lifetime of being in the wrong body and wanting what she cant have, but still strive for. For some of you, you are already living out your fantasy and I applaud you for it.

Apparently theres an entire series of Gallagher Girl books by Ally Carter, so Lauren has more fuel to stoke her inner flames. Good thing shes locked up this week and even wearing POIs during the day!

 

Where to start...
Dollyanne I had no idea you were into this genre. Lauren always had a fetish for books like this, but never let her inner gurl roam into this territory before, but it's soooo her and she's glad she did. Thank you for the link to the Spy Girl book. That looks fun too so she'll have to put it on her list for summer reading (maybe whilst working on her tan). And here's another potential author to check out. Lauren loves the author's name and may have to read her book just because of that. The summer reading list grows.

Too bad Lauren's little clittie can't grow right now being all locked up with POIs poised to bring her back down. She has the smallest POIs in place and is wearing it with her CB3K. Not really sure why, but it seemed kind of thrilling to give it a try for day use. For the most part she has stayed "in check" with few problems during the day, although writing this post this morning was a bit of a struggle. Lauren will never wear POIs at night due to the intense night -time erections she experiences.

Lauren loves the spy toy photo you attached. It looks like fun and of course it's pink! :butterfly:

Lauren can't wait to post some more pictures while out doing special ops. Some secret sissy spy work can't be far around some dark corner. No telling when she'll be brought out from her deep cover and be photographed. She's ready when the moment strikes, but right now she's keeping her cover and laying low. Her cover story: a mild-mannered male living as a father of two and happily married to his special wife. ...No one would ever suspect... Intrigue, romance, secret rendezvous, high-security CB locks, special coded messages - it's all wonderful fun! :character0028:

 

Plaid's my thang

What can I say dear?
If the shoe fits, wear it! And this gurl loves to "work it" in her plaid skirt that's for sure. But you've got me thinking...
...Maybe a new color is in order - that would be a fun shopping trip to do. First one must :character0180: surf the web to find something to build a fantasy around. Then in her most spy-like sissy secret way, Lauren will have to turn on her feminine charms and purchase a much sought after plaid garment in person, hopefully from a cute young sales girl. *gush*

Oh dear, gotta go...

 

Lauren has been busy, but not as Lauren so it's sort of dull from a sissy chastity way of thinking. So what have I been doing lately? I bought a really nice road bicycle - carbon composite, very light weight and a lot of fun. So instead of working myself up into a heated frenetic sissy gurl state, I've just been working myself up into a heated frenetic bike-riding state.

As sissy slave kris has asked in the past: what do we all do outside of our sissy chastity existence? - this is what I've been up to with the rest of my life right now. It's been all just normal boy stuff instead of sissy gurl things like what you're used to reading from Lauren.

Lauren was starting to dream about buying some girl-style attack shorts, a sports bra and her bike shirt and head off somewhere away from home and do a ride. Now you surely know that bike shorts leave nothing to the imagination and it would be very, very sexy to her to ride in this fashion - passing (she hopes) as a girl and feeling oh so vulnerable in her way-exposed sexy shorts showing off her shapely legs. She would have to shave all her hair from her legs and that would be super sexy to do too. No fat or flab on those legs I can tell you that much! But alas, there is that bulge in the front to consider... I just don't know if Lauren could pull it off, but it does stir very erotic feelings for her - even as she types this post. Oh, what's a gurl to do? :anim_03:

 

Funny you would say that Respectful. The next book in the series that Lauren is reading DON'T JUDGE A GIRL BY HER COVER due out in 31 days has this teaser: "He can't be...bad?" Liz asked softly.

Oh heavens, yes Lycra/spandex bike shorts do offer a certain ability for tucking! In fact even now when she's in the saddle, Lauren will look down and see only a tidy crotch that looks more girl than boy - where are the sausage and gibblets, we know not! That always gives her a secret thrill.
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Aww, gosh! :butterfly: