Making a dildo feel nicer

[longtallsally]

I hate the word 'dildo' but here goes...

We've been experiementing with him using a dildo on me while he's locked. Some kind soul here previously advised that warming it in hot water really helps. I can confirm that!
A couple of other things I've just learned. First, having him kiss me and say nice things while he's holding the, er, 'thing' makes the experience much less mechanical. And second, when I asked him to try to move it as if it were him inside me, that really made a huge difference to my enjoyment.
Finally, seeing him brandishing it while he was locked, when in our pre-cage days he would have been very much in control of the situation and of me, was very, very strange indeed. I felt powerful and excited but it also felt (and looked) a bit weird and I found myself thinking about how I was reacting, which slightly took me out of the moment. He'd chosen a dildo that's rather bigger than himself, so I felt I had to be doubly careful about what I said.

The rest of the experience is here.

Sal

(My reason for cross posting like this is because I accidentally typed my diary entry here rather than on the blog, and then found I couldn't erase it completely, only edit - so I thought it was better to cross-post. Apologies.)

 

[Deleted member 97201]

Thank you for sharing. I bought a hollow dildo to use. My wife has not adjusted to the cage idea. She’s afraid I’m going to cause damage as I am to (I lock myself up, still experimenting)

She’s does not like chemicals inside of her, so spent a lot of time looking for a body safe one, but I doubt they make them out of organic materials.

I have not brought up the idea yet, still processing how to approach the strap on subject

 

[anasyrma]

Hard to find alternative names, but here are a few that might work:

strap-on
phallus
dong
consoladora (Spanish feminine form)

My wife penetrating me with one was a fantasy she had until we tried it. I recommend it.

 

[longtallsally]

Hard to find alternative names, but here are a few that might work:

strap-on
phallus
dong
consoladora (Spanish feminine form)

My wife penetrating me with one was a fantasy she had until we tried it. I recommend it.

Consoladora!! Sal

 

[NowIveDoneIt]

When you say nicer do you mean a more natural feeling? If so then the warming up as you have found is very important. I would also say to get one close to the size you are used to (presumably your partner). Society over and over talks about the importance of size but in practice I think most women care far more for good technique. My wife would actually prefer if I was slightly thinner (2"). The second is to get one that is closer to your desired body color. I can't imagine it being very personal going to town with a tie dye dong. And the brand is also important. We have a strap on we played with on me a few years ago that wasn't cheap but it never felt good. Recently I purchased a vixen and what a difference!! One suggestion I might add is to try a blindfold. If it is something you are ok with have him blindfold you and give you a nice massage followed by your preferred foreplay and eventually sex. Focusing on what you are feeling and not what you are seeing can get you into the mindset to just enjoy it. I hope this helps.

 

[Chaz69]

You could always give it a name, like "Go get 'Dave' for me" rather than "Go get the dildo"

 

[longtallsally]

You could always give it a name, like "Go get 'Dave' for me" rather than "Go get the dildo"

I've already decided. It's called Dora (as in Consoladora, above). I know Dora is a girl's name, but that just makes it more fun! Dora! Dora! I adore a Dora! Sal

 

[longtallsally]

When you say nicer do you mean a more natural feeling? If so then the warming up as you have found is very important. I would also say to get one close to the size you are used to (presumably your partner). Society over and over talks about the importance of size but in practice I think most women care far more for good technique. My wife would actually prefer if I was slightly thinner (2"). The second is to get one that is closer to your desired body color. I can't imagine it being very personal going to town with a tie dye dong. And the brand is also important. We have a strap on we played with on me a few years ago that wasn't cheap but it never felt good. Recently I purchased a vixen and what a difference!! One suggestion I might add is to try a blindfold. If it is something you are ok with have him blindfold you and give you a nice massage followed by your preferred foreplay and eventually sex. Focusing on what you are feeling and not what you are seeing can get you into the mindset to just enjoy it. I hope this helps.

By 'nicer', I meant more exciting, more stimulating. I'm getting to like the one that My Pete has used with me, essentially because he chose it, which is nice, and he's learning to use it in a way that feels good. It's bigger than he is, but that was his choice, not mine. I think your suggestion of a blindfold is really spot-on - I'll definitely try that. Thanks! Sal

 

[Tom Allen]

hate the word 'dildo

Mrs Edge (my wife) does not like the term either. For a while we called it a "faux cock", and from there derived the term "foxing" for when I wore it when we made love. Now it's become the norm for us, so she just calls it my cock, and the thing between my legs is simply my cage.

I may have been the person who suggested warming it up beforehand. I put it into a tall thermos mug of hot tap water. I'm embarrassed at how long it took me before coming up with the idea.

 

[Tom Allen]

It's bigger than he is, but that was his choice, not mine

A lot of men choose this to reinforce their feelings of submission. They are (in their minds) giving you a bigger, better experience than they could otherwise do with their natural equipment. The enjoyment their partner gets can make them feel both happy for being able to give them such pleasure, and push the "submissive" buttons because of the typical male tendency to compare themselves in that way.

 

[Chaz69]

I've already decided. It's called Dora (as in Consoladora, above). I know Dora is a girl's name, but that just makes it more fun! Dora! Dora! I adore a Dora! Sal

So, it's full name then, surely, is "Dora the Explorer" !!!

 

[longtallsally]

So, it's full name then, surely, is "Dora the Explorer" !!!

Brilliant. Sniggering out loud at that one! Sal

 

[Chaz69]

Brilliant. Sniggering out loud at that one! Sal

I wasn't sure if you got that show in England, my kids used to watch it when they were little. I hope YourPete doesn't need "the map".

 

[longtallsally]

I wasn't sure if you got that show in England, my kids used to watch it when they were little. I hope YourPete doesn't need "the map".

Seriously, you've finally made the thing into an object of fun. Dora the Explorer, Dora the Explorer!!

 

[Jay Sub]

So, it's full name then, surely, is "Dora the Explorer" !!!

I was just scrilling to comment. You beat me to it!

 

[NowIveDoneIt]

I wasn't sure if you got that show in England, my kids used to watch it when they were little. I hope YourPete doesn't need "the map".

First you beat me to "Dora the Explorer" but the need the map comment has me in stitches. I'm picturing Sal stopping everything and then looking toward the screen saying "Does Pete need the map?"..

 

[longtallsally]

First you beat me to "Dora the Explorer" but the need the map comment has me in stitches. I'm picturing Sal stopping everything and then looking toward the screen saying "Does Pete need the map?"..

This is brilliant! I am chortling away here in my underground lair where once again I'm waiting to edit footage tonight that hasn't turned up. Maybe someone should do a 'Chastity Map' - I'm suddenly imagining a section of it m=ysteriously labelled 'Here Be Dragons', where all the scary stuff can go, such as 'The Plains of Permanence', 'The Land that Mistress Forgot', The Place of Lost Keys' etc... In the more inhabited regions, one might find The Fields of Frustration (which lead via the Depths of Denial) to the Region of Ecstasy...
Sal

 

[asastype]

i put Your question to my Domina, @MistressAMA, and She simply said, "How do you not like a dildo?" and giggled. But more to the point--we have named them as well to personify them. We have "Phil" (get it?) and Vic (for Vixskin one). In cold weather, i have to sleep on it so that it is warmed up when She wants to play.

More practically, getting a higher quality dildo really helped, too. Phil is an entry-level dildo, but Vic is a Vixskin one and that feels more realistic.

asa

 

[longtallsally]

i put Your question to my Domina, @MistressAMA, and She simply said, "How do you not like a dildo?" and giggled. But more to the point--we have named them as well to personify them. We have "Phil" (get it?) and Vic (for Vixskin one). In cold weather, i have to sleep on it so that it is warmed up when She wants to play.

More practically, getting a higher quality dildo really helped, too. Phil is an entry-level dildo, but Vic is a Vixskin one and that feels more realistic.

asa

Phil!!! Love it! And we'll see about spalshing out on Vixskin. Thanks for the tip - people seem to rave about them. Sal

 

[madams-sissysub]

lol! My madam doesn’t like dildos in any way shape or form! For her self that is! She only likes the real thing!! And no exceptions! Xxxxxxxxxxz

 

[NowIveDoneIt]

This is brilliant! I am chortling away here in my underground lair where once again I'm waiting to edit footage tonight that hasn't turned up. Maybe someone should do a 'Chastity Map' - I'm suddenly imagining a section of it m=ysteriously labelled 'Here Be Dragons', where all the scary stuff can go, such as 'The Plains of Permanence', 'The Land that Mistress Forgot', The Place of Lost Keys' etc... In the more inhabited regions, one might find The Fields of Frustration (which lead via the Depths of Denial) to the Region of Ecstasy...
Sal

I just finished setting up the house for Thanksgiving tomorrow and spent the last 7 hours prepping food for the big day. It's 1am and I am sitting down with a nice glass of vino and I opened my notices to see your comment- thank you for making me laugh as I sit here exhausted. It is exactly what I needed. And we all should build on this glorious map- I propose Lube Falls and Orgasm Oasis....

 

[cogman]

We simply call ours "John" we have a big John and a little John, the little john is roughly my size, big John is a vixskin Maverick, little John is a Mustang.

Try using a bean bag in the microwave, I can be wearing John while warming it up lying down, while my partner warms up, or I help warm her up, more continuous that way.

Yet to use Maverick, but apparently the Mustang she says feels just like I do.

 

[Chaz69]

Now I have the song "Big John" in my head, lol

 

[Queens servant73]

We’re still looking for the perfect toy to use when she would like to have piv but deny me. We’re considering the RealDoll RealCock2 models, and the Vixskin models as well. Right now we have some decent cheaper ones, but my Wife still prefers her locked cock, fortunately for me

And we also warm them in a heating pad prior to use, she’ll tell me to prepare her “boyfriend” for playtime on the somewhat rare occasions she wants to use those toys.

 

[Jay Sub]

Now I have the song "Big John" in my head, lol

I grew up on this song. Had to listen to it all.