New keyholder. Not sure if this is the beginning of a journey

Chastity is what you make it. I'm a little late to the game, but following your various posts, I think the point to get to is understanding that the point of chastity plan is that it's up to you to make the decisions.

Decision on when to unlock and/or lock him up. What he should do. What pleasure you want to get (and/or give in return). Keep in mind it doesn't have to be all sex - if you want your feet massaged, or a sensual full body massage, though things are all on the table too.

One other thing to think about: the "chores" thing is somewhat common on here, but it doesn't have to be. My wife and I haven't a pretty "normal" life. We split chores. I do the cooking (because I like to), she does most of the kitchen clean-up, that sort of thing.

The main difference between us and a vanilla couple is that I'm in my chastity cage, almost always ... and my wife decides when it comes off. I can ask, or I can try to "seduce" her, but she ultimately holds that key and makes the choice. Which nowadays only happens if she wants real sex. Short of that, she gets anything else she wants in bed whenever she wants it.

 

Just a quick note on an earlier post about humiliation. You said you weren’t really into that but liked embarrassing situations etc, or something to that effect.

Although it can be called the same, there are many levels. I myself am not into derogatory humiliation. I don’t get excited or turned on by having her call my penis worthless or pathetic. What really does do it to me is complete honesty. For example when she says “that feels so much bigger than you” as I’m using my fingers. Or “ I’m not unlocking you because I don’t need it to cum”, or “I want to feel your tiny dick inside me”. All of those are fairly well used phrases for her, none of them are mean, but all of them are very honest.

Another form is the occasional off comment to others. To me it’s a sense of embarrassment enough to redden my cheeks, but also pride. For example Frieda were discussing getting behind at home…she said “ oh I don’t have to worry, Nic does all the cooking, cleaning, and rubs my feet every night” Or another time they were all talking about infidelity of someone, she said something “I never have to worry about that…I have him locked up tight, don’t I honey?” Now of course they didn’t know it was literal, but it was still a moment between us.

So in general, it doesn’t have to be like…get on your knees pig and tell me how worthless you are! It can be…I’m not sure if letting you cum is worth it, you’re so much more attentive when that little thing is locked, don’t you agree. There are degrees.

Glad you are getting on so well, my wife did as well.

 

Sal, I don't get the humiliation stuff that others are into either, and I don't think my wife would get off on being the humiliator either. Even the "honest" stuff that Nic mentioned isn't something we'd do. So just do whatever works for you. The main thing that, I think, everybody experiences with chastity is that, once you start keeping him locked for weeks at a time, and more importantly, orgasm denied for weeks at a time, you will see an improvement in his behaviour and personality, so that should be your #1 goal right now. Just ignore all the other stuff for now. Then, as you proceed towards that goal, you can soak up information, as you've been doing, and decide what additional things work for you and what doesn't. The only rule is to have fun.

 

But just imagine if you really see him starting to put your needs first, being much more helpful around the house, really starting to care a whole bunch more, and then imagine the intensity of your love and romance increasing. This is what most of us experience with chastity. It's been a life changer for my wife any myself.

 

The thing is she already made a great catch and is enjoying what she has and is exploring some new ideas to she what she likes so that she can fine tune it. Her questions have been about different things so that she can understand it better. I’m looking forward to hear about how things work out with what she has learned about so far. She has a good idea of what she wants.

 

Chastity can also be used to help motivate him to accomplish his OWN desires. Maybe he wants to be more fit and knows how to do it but needs that nudge to stay on track. He can make a plan for success and you can make sure he stays on the path. If his goal includes making it to the gym 4x a week, you can use the carrot/stick approach to do what he already knows he needs to do.

 

Thank you for sharing!

 

That's the beauty of this, you don't have to actually DO anything to make all that happen, it will just happen all by itself.