Only Tomorrow Until Forever -- fiction

“Tell me why I didn’t let you orgasm.”
His voice cracked as he replied, “Because you love me.”
She let the silence hang in the air for a moment before adding, “And?”
“And because you are doing what’s best for me,” he relented.

They were naked, laying on the bed. She smiled as she looked down at him. He lay on his back, skewed slightly across the bed, eyes closed with his head resting on her bare stomach. She was sitting up slightly, propped up with pillows against the headboard. She gently stroked his hair as she watched his erect penis bob and dance. “Do you want an orgasm, my love?” she asked after several minutes.

He did. She knew it, and he knew it. He wanted an orgasm almost more than anything in the world. Part of him felt that no one in human history had ever wanted anything more than he wanted an orgasm in that very moment.

“Yes, Ma’am,” he replied, his chest tight with desire.

She smiled knowing that he didn’t know what her next question would be, “Should I give you an orgasm?”

He was stunned. He wanted to yell, ‘Yes!’ but strangely, something kept him from doing so. She had never asked him if she should give him an orgasm. His orgasms had always been up to her and he felt odd being asked to pass judgement on what she should or shouldn’t do with them.

There was only one way he could answer, “I don’t know.”

She was elated. It was the very answer she had been hoping for. She needed to keep going, to see if what she suspected was true. “You don’t know if I should give you an orgasm? Why don’t you know? I thought you said you wanted one.”

“I do want one, but…” his voice trailed off as he struggled to come to terms with what he was thinking.

“But what? Tell me, my love,” she urged him.

“I can’t make that decision. Only you can,” he had never said the words and it almost felt like it wasn’t him saying them right now, like some phantom had somehow crept inside him and snatched the words from his soul before he could pull them back and hide them.

“That’s right my love. Only I can,” as she said this she felt him shudder slightly and the breath catch in his throat for a moment before he sighed and relaxed.

She was beyond happy. This had always been their way, her allowing or not allowing him to orgasm, but they had never articulated it like this. She had told him that she denied him because she loved him and knew what was best. He loved the denial and it made him very happy. But he had never verbalized the surrender of his orgasms entirely to her. She had allowed him to have orgasms fairly often with an occasional long period of denial. Right now they were in their longest period of denial yet and his last orgasm had been over three months ago.

He was trying to stay still and think of nothing but the moment. It was almost meditative to bask in this feeling. He felt the silky, liquid warmth course through his mind, this feeling that soothed all the right emotions in all the right places. It was something he couldn’t really describe but was always delighted by and he struggled to stay in that state of mind.

She could tell by his breathing that he was in his space. She felt strong and confident, like she had conquered the highest mountain and absolutely nothing could stop her. She could feel his love and devotion in the deepest core of her being. She felt it so strongly that she felt it almost hoist her to a higher plain of being, one that mere mortals were unworthy of experiencing but the quiet intensity of his adoration propelled her to these new heights.

He shifted, rolling on to his side and inching further up the bed so he could rest his head on her shoulder and wrap his arm around her waist. His erection has subsided somewhat and he pressed into her, wanting to be completely immersed in her.

She continued to stroke his head and she said quietly, “Good boy. You’re my good boy.”

He felt his chest tighten and the breath catch in his throat again. He felt like he would burst with love for her. She could tell - it made her smile even more. She felt like she could leap from the bed and scream, so overcome was she with this feeling of invincibility. She looked down at this hunk of a man, her man, in wonder and amazement that he would allow himself to be so vulnerable and bare before her. They fed off each other; she gained strength from his willing vulnerability and he gained peace and tranquility in her willingness to control his orgasm.

They never wanted this to end. They stayed there, wrapped in each other for a long while.

This is the moment, she thought to herself. She finally had the confidence she felt she needed. “My love,” she began softly.

“Hmm?” He was still trying to remain tranquil and her voice nudged him out of his thought.

“I don’t want this to end, do you?” she asked quietly.

“No, Ma’am,” he replied.

“What if it was always like this? What if we always had this feeling?” she asked.

He was slowly being pulled back to reality. He opened his eyes slightly, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, wouldn’t it be amazing to always feel this good? To always feel this strongly for each other, like we feel in this moment?” she replied.

He wasn’t quite sure what she was getting at. He pulled himself up the bed and lay next to her on his back, now fully alert. He said, “Yes, Ma’am. That would be amazing. I just don’t know how that would happen.”

She knew that they felt like this after he had been denied a few months and then they had sex without her allowing him to orgasm. She knew that sex got better with each passing day of his denial, especially when she told him beforehand that he wasn’t to orgasm. He had amazing self-restraint and even penetrating her, as she so often craved, he was somehow able to keep from coming.

“If there was a way, do you think you would try? I mean, if it were at all possible to achieve that state of being, would you be willing to make it happen?” she asked with anticipation.

He still wasn’t sure what she was getting at, “Well, of course I would. I love making you happy. I love making us happy.”

She decided it was now or never, “What if we decided that you wouldn’t have orgasms anymore?”

He was listening to her but it took a few seconds before he heard what she had said. The room seemed to explode away and leave him in a void as he realized what she was asking. Never again? It was almost incomprehensible. Sure, he had a chastity device and he was one of the lucky few that could actually wear it indefinitely without discomfort, so he knew that logistically it would be possible. If he stayed locked up it was impossible for him to orgasm. He usually did remain locked and the only exception was when she wanted to have sex, like today.

His heart started to race and he almost began to panic, “But, I don’t…I mean, well, I…” he stammered. He didn’t know what he was trying to say. His breathing increased as he struggled to wrap his head around the idea of never having an orgasm again.

She pulled him towards her and caressed him rocking gently, “Shh, shh, it’s ok, my love. Shh, be a good boy. It’s ok. Shhh.”

He calmed down a little, but he almost felt like he would cry. Deep down he knew he could say no and she would accept that, but she also wouldn’t have asked if she didn’t truly want this. And he loved how he felt being denied and seeing how happy it made her.

He felt weak as he sat up to look at her. Her face was absolutely radiant with confidence and tenderness which instantly softened him. She reached out to touch his cheek and he closed his eyes and said, “I don’t know if I could do that right now.”

“That’s ok, darling. I understand! Why don’t we sleep on it and talk about it tomorrow after work?” He realized that at some point she had reached over to the night stand and was holding out his device to him.

“Ok, yes. Let’s do that,” he said, relieved that he would have more of a chance to think and process the thought. Seeing the device in her hand he automatically brought himself to a kneeling position on the bed in front of her without a thought and she quickly put the device on him.

Giving his penis a swift kiss she smiled at him and said, “I didn’t even have to tell you what to do. I’ve trained you well!” He blushed.

“Oh, I have an idea!” she said, straightening up. “Why don’t we each make a list? I’ll come up with five reasons why you won’t have orgasms anymore, and you come up with five reasons why you think we should let you continue having orgasms. What do you think?”

He wasn’t sure what to think about anything, so he just said, “Yeah, ok. That sounds fine.”

They lay down to sleep and he cuddled up to her. He reached his arm around to hold her and he felt a wave of contentment wash over him as he quickly drifted off to sleep.

She felt so excited about what the next day and their conversation might bring, and a little anxious, too. She didn’t know if she could sleep. What if he said no? What would she do? And if he said yes, could he really handle it? Will he truly understand what he’s agreeing to? So much apprehension, but it was outweighed by her confidence and happiness and she, too, drifted off.

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The next morning they went through their normal routine, neither of them mentioning the previous night’s conversation. They could both feel it, though. They didn’t need to say anything to know what the other was thinking. She couldn’t stop staring at him with the slightest of smiles stuck on her face. And he almost couldn’t bring himself to meet her gaze.

Distracted, neither of them were very productive at work. They droned through the day, counting down the seconds until they would be home together. He struggled to come up with his list and this task consumed almost all of his energy during the day.

He was confused by the fact that, the more he thought about it, the more reasons he could come up with for why he shouldn’t orgasm than should. Most of his reasons for why he should could be boiled down to just a simple desire to do so. He slowly realized that he didn’t have any truly good reason why he wanted to orgasm. In the back of his mind he suspected that she might know this and that’s why she suggested the lists.

He was almost dismayed when he realized that the best reason he could come up with was ‘because you want me to.’ He was realizing that the only times he truly wanted to orgasm is when she told him it was what she wanted. He was dismayed because if this was the best reason, and now it turns out that doesn’t want him to orgasm anymore, what could he possibly do?

After they were both home, the conversation that was to take place loomed in the air. He wasn’t going to bring it up, knowing that she would when the time was right.

They ate dinner almost wordlessly and after cleaning up she led him to the bedroom. “Let’s cuddle and talk,” she said as she began to remove her clothes.

He undressed as well and they lay on the bed, he on his back and she on her side, facing him, cuddling close. He had been thinking about what he might say all day but still had no idea. It was too big for him to wrap his head around and he had decided he would just take her lead and see what happened.

“So have you decided?” she began as she reached to fondle his locked penis.

“Um, can we talk about it a little?” he asked tentatively, futilely willing himself to stay soft.

“Yes, of course. I think we should. So, what did you come up with on your list?” she said excitedly.

He rolled over and grabbed his pants off the floor, pulling the folded piece of paper from the pocket. He hesitated and then slowly returned to his position on his back. He didn’t know if he could bring himself to give it to her, but he knew he had to.

She could hardly contain herself as she held out her hand. He couldn’t give it to her. “My love? What’s wrong?” she asked.

He didn’t know. Then it hit him – he was terrified, absolutely terrified and simultaneously overwhelmed with love and desire for her. “I’m scared,” he admitted.

“Oh, my love! Don’t be scared!” She reached over and gently held his face. He met her eyes and she could see him melt inside. It made her wet to see and she felt her fluids moisten her inner thigh.

She smiled warmly and said, “We’re in this together, no matter what, right?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he said. He could feel her gaze pierce him. He knew that she knew how he felt, as he held his hand out. She took the piece of paper and slowly unfolded it.

She read it aloud, “Reasons I Should Have Orgasms. Number one: because I like them. Number two: because I want to. Number three: because you want me to orgasm. Aww, that’s so cute!” She kissed him deeply, her juices now nearly dripping down her thigh.

She asked, “So you could only come up with three?” He nodded. She continued, “That’s ok. I only needed two.” She reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her list, almost vibrating in anticipation as she handed it to him. He took the list and unfolded the paper. He turned white. “Go ahead and read it!” she goaded him.

His heart began to pound as he began, “The Reasons You Won’t Orgasm Anymore. Number one, because it’s what I want. Number two…” he paused.

She felt like she could almost orgasm right that moment. “Come on, number two,” she said hoarsely.

He looked at her and swallowed hard, “Number two, because it’s what you need.”

She shuddered with a tiny orgasm.

He realized that she really did want to permanently deny him, maybe even more than he wanted to orgasm. He felt like he was in a hopeless position, hopeless and at the same time oddly exhilarating.

She looked at him, “So what do you think? I can see the idea excites you!”

He realized in alarm that he was straining against his cage. He stammered, “I don’t know. I mean, I really, I, I…”

“Aww, come here my love.” She held him as she did the previous night, consoling him. He was breathing rapidly and his heart was pounding. “It’s ok, I know, I know. It will be really hard for us, I know,” she said softly as she stroked his hair. “But that’s ok, we can handle it together. We’re in this together, remember?” He nodded, his breaths slowing. “We’ll help each other, don’t worry. We’ll be better off if you never orgasm again, trust me. It’s the best for us.”

In some odd way this comforted him. He was sacrificing his orgasms but somehow she had started to convince him that they would be sharing that burden equally. Maybe that was true, he didn’t know.

He started to say, “But I don’t know…”

She stopped him with a finger on his lips, “Its ok. Right now is not forever. Tomorrow is not forever. Let’s just stay in right now and see where that takes us, ok? And you can go one more day without an orgasm, right? You can get through tomorrow without an orgasm?” he nodded, looking her in the eye.

“Good boy. You’re my good boy. Let’s not think about forever. That’s too hard. Let’s just think about tomorrow, ok, my love?” she asked. He nodded again.

She embraced him again and then she dropped the bomb, “Let’s just think about tomorrow. If we do that it will just turn into forever, eventually. I bet it will happen before you even know it.” His eyes opened wide and he pulled back from their embrace. She looked him in the eye and repeated, “Just tomorrow, right?”

“Yes, Ma’am,” he croaked. She smiled.

“Ok! Are you scared, still?” she asked.

“A little,” he admitted.

“Aww, let’s make you feel special tonight. How about I fuck your bum really hard with my strap on? That always makes you feel better, right? Want me to fuck your bum?”

“Yes,” he said. He really liked that idea. He liked being fucked by her so much that the thought momentarily distracted him.

She grinned mischievously, “Yes, what?”

“Please fuck my bum really hard,” he said. He realized he had begun to strain against the cage again.

“Since you asked so nicely,” she giggled as she went to grab her strap on.

He moved to the middle of the bed and lay on his back. She enjoyed fucking him in the missionary position and he loved the role reversal of being penetrated by her while she looked him in the eye. Standing next to the bed she tightened the straps and began to lube up the dildo. He saw that it was the largest one they had and his eyes opened wide.

She giggled and said, “You know you want it, my little butt-slut, don’t you?”

His mouth went a little dry as he croaked out, “Yes, Ma’am.” He knew he could take it, and he absolutely loved to take it, but he knew in the morning he’d be sore. He also knew that she would ask him in the morning if he was sore even though she already knew the answer. And when he would tell her yes, she would be overjoyed to hear him say it and she would probably get turned on enough to tell him to go down on her.

She climbed on top and lined up the dildo with his bum. She slowly began to enter him, gently. She knew his every breath and muscle twitch and knew exactly what to do. Very slowly she worked the dildo all the way in. She paused and she lay on top of him, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “I think eventually I’ll be able to make you squirt just by fucking your bum.” She slowly began pulling back.

“Wouldn’t that be nice, my love?” Slowly back in, and then out again.

She paused for a moment and he wiggled slightly, wanting more. “Do you want me to make you squirt from fucking your bum? Do you?” she asked. He nodded as she suddenly rammed all the way in with incredible force.

He gasped, knowing that if tomorrow was like this, forever would be here soon.