Part 5 ~ The best thing about the future is it only comes one day at a time...

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Mistress Watchful, Jan 1, 2009.

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  1. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Maybe I did make it sound a lot worse than it is!

    We do have the odd occasion here and there when the kids are at school and baby is with the childminder, although we are cutting those hours and my uni hours are increasing soon.

    And we did get to go out and see a movie recently!

    We do need more time together, and we do need to sort it out as soon as possible.

    OR

    ... maybe we just need to soundproof our bedroom!!!!
     
  2. Miss D
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    Miss D Expert In Femming

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    Good idea dubsub... Five scenarios...

    Let's see - My list would include femming and femming and femming and cuckolding and then more femming....


    :happy0030:
     
  3. PuppyMaster
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    PuppyMaster Puppy Master

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    Buy a cage!!! Then you two will be forced into spending (kinky) time together!! and they are much fun!
     
  4. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Hmmm... here's me getting all keen and excited again, looking at toys and toy shops, and pet is all... well... silent.

    I'm not going to push the issue, he can decide what he wants and come to me (no pun intended) in his own time.

    I think he's gone into some sort of "if I avoid this, she'll forget about it" kind of hibernation.

    Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

    To sleep... I have an early start and a busy day tomorrow.
     
  5. PuppyMastersPet
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    PuppyMastersPet Long term member

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    New toys are good for bringing fresh interest and excitement to the relationship. Don’t let your old toys feel lonely though. I know we have loads and I feel sometime that we haven’t fully used the ones we have.
     
  6. dollyanne
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    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

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    Great scenarios, Miss D! Dollyanne loves this list!

    Curtsey,
    :ten-on-ten::heart:
    dollyanne
     
  7. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    It's 7am and I should have been up an hour ago... so no time for replies to everyone's posts. :sad0147:

    I will look forward to doing that after a long day, maybe with a Gin and Tonic in hand.

    Feeling very vanilla. Still no words from pet. All intimacy has gone back out of the window and I think he is still striving towards our old vanilla-with-twist life.

    Gotta go grab myself a coffee, do something with my hair, and dash off to University for the first day this year.

    Oh... some clothes might be good too... it's freaking cold here!
     
  8. Lady_Kismet
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    Lady_Kismet Member

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    *hugs* Sounds like things have been quickly going out of control. Sorry i haven't sent anything been wrapped up in my own depression. Think it is this time of year. Here is my hopes that it will get better. Sometimes so things can be overwhelming at the time. Sounds like you now have a way of moving forward, the whole 5 fantasies is a wonderful idea. The only thing I can really comment on is the whole safe word thing you mentioned way back in an earlier post. That actually might have been the lead up to the problem. I know from experience I have not safe worded out of a scene in the past because I was too worried of letting my Dom down. In the end I ended up hurt and caused more problems than solved. Guess that is the problem knowing when to balance truly hurtful things and things you don't want to do. Safe words shouldn't be abused but there is a reason they are there and if Charlotte is truly uncomfortable with something pet should use it. This doesn't mean anytime pet doesn't want to do something, but when maybe there needs to be a discussion before continuing on with the act that you all are involved in. I know it is a great way to completely ruin a mood, but if it manages to clear up the issues then it saves a lot of emotional problems later on.

    To tell you the truth the whole i have gathered from reading is pet is attempting to top from the bottom. Something that never works, hopefully you all can come to a resolution. I don't think discipline will help, it may make more of a problem actually. It sounds as if pet needs to get his head straight, and actually talk about what upset him. since something obviously did, and it sounds as if he maybe should have safe worded and didn't and now is in the middle of subbie ping pong with himself. Blaming himself then you, then himself again. It is a vicious cycle, and even picking up on how upset he has made you probably causes the self recriminations to become more crazy and absurd.:happy0057: It is amazing what the mind can put on through. All I know is that none of this is your fault or his really. That is the problem with emotions and brains they tend to completely interpret things differently. Hope it gets better and don't give up. *hugs*
     
  9. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Thank you Lady Kismet. I hope you feel better soon... think of the future!!!! :manga_love:

    Ok, it's 6.20 am and a 12 year old (who was an 11 year old yesterday!) is trying to batter down my door to get to his presents!

    Then I have the mad rush to spend the day at Uni.

    Not much happened yesterday. I spent all day in the computer lab doing GIS with 2 friends, it was great fun, and hard work, but we got a lot done. I was euphoric by the end of the day. Uni is addictive! :jumping0036:

    I came home to find my parents here. Few issues there, but no time to go into. Blah @ mother.

    Not only did I have a great day, but pet cooked me a super dinner AND he had blogged too!

    A box of new lingerie turned up and is gorgeous. I put one outfit on last night but we were both too tired... and pet is obviously too tired this morning, and now we have to get up!

    And as I say, today is #2s birthday... nearly a teenager. Wow I'm old!
     
  10. dubsub
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    dubsub Member

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    Dear MW,
    Having read your Pets blog I think you need to demand he goes back into his CB tonight and then show him his hood. Do not get into any discussion about this just demand that it is done and then just show the hood as a sign that when you want attention you will get it. It is a bit like the five favorite games have already been decided. He wants to submit he just needs you to take control.

    Enjoy the results and keep him locked for at least 14 days before he receives any type of release.

    yours,

    dubsub.
     
  11. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Please extend a happy birthday to your almost teenager. Hmmm strike that that may not go over well. Too much explaining to do at any rate I know how that is. I have a teenager who in two months will be getting her drivers license. Oh look there is another gray hair already. LOL

    Now the wearing clothes part in your previous post, isn't that over rated as well? I am sure there would be little complaints. OK seriously I know just though perhaps I could elicit a small smile from you, ah there you see it worked.

    Give some things a little time and I think they will head back in the direction you want. I too read pets journal and I can't help but sense there is something in him that is begging to be brought out. Perhaps this in it self is the challenge he is needing.
     
  12. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Huge apologies for not replying properly... I really am snowed under with Uni work at the moment.

    But you know what? I'm freaking euphoric. High as a kite. Cannot control the passion I am feeling for my studies at the moment, it's crazy. It truly is an addiction.

    I have received lots of lovely underwear through the post lately and am raring to play, but we're also both very tired at the moment.

    Fingers crossed for some fun soon!

    Oh, and time to reply to people's posts would be nice... :manga_champers:
     
  13. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Eugh I want to cry.

    I'm soooo tired and my work-life-sex balance is a uni-uni-uni balance.

    A little behind with my assignments, up late and need to dash...

    Hopefully things will calm down after tomorrow. :haha4:
     
  14. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    *hugs* Hang in there I know the feeling all to well today.
     
  15. dollyanne
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    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

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    It sounds like You are giving it Your all, Mistress Watchful! Dollyanne hopes You are rewarded for Your hard work! It sounds like You are enjoying it though, and that is a very good thing! If only we sissies could pool our blonde brainpower and help out in some way to lighten Your load! Your pet should at least give You a nice massage to help You relax. You deserve success and dollyanne predicts You will have it!

    Curtsey,
    :manga_blowkiss:
    dollyanne
     
  16. Lady_Kismet
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    :manga_bunny: It will get better I am sure. If there is one thing I know sometimes it is better to take care of real life then worry about everything else. Especially cause without real life you can't have fun behind closed doors. Just don't completely forget about it :evilgrin0042: just worry about one thing at a time.
     
  17. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Thank you... the madness is over for a while! :manga_bath:

    Handed in a 3,000 word critical literature review today, and have my hydrology essay and my GIS assignment ready to hand in tomorrow.

    Then it's on to my 4,500 Regeneration report, and a 3,000 essay on citizenship to look forward to.

    Not forgetting anything else they add in the next couple of weeks!!! :sign0023:

    But if I continue with little and often, we should be able to keep it under control! :party0042: (Unlike pet... who is completely uncontrollable!)
     
  18. PuppyMastersPet
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    PuppyMastersPet Long term member

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    Speaking of regeneration reports. Whats your take on the Heathrow runway plan? I’m usually all for regeneration and looking to the future but I think this is short sighted and any expansion will only serve London for another 20 years. The conservative's High speed rail and alternative airport plan is a lot more forward thinking.
     
  19. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    What the opposition say they will do and what they ACTUALLY do when they come to power.... Hmmmmm....

    I don't actually know much on the Heathrow expansion (or Gatwick expansion, or Stansted expansion...!) but from an eco point of view, more air travel is bad whichever way you look at it. Unfortunately, we live on a small island which relies on import and export, it is perfectly possible that expansion is needed.
     
  20. PuppyMastersPet
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    PuppyMastersPet Long term member

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    Hmmm. I think airports are old hat now. I won’t go on, I don’t want to hijack your diary but I think that the Labour government is still in the pockets of the London bankers even after the recent crash. Something a lot more creative is called for if we are going to make the most of our small island. You only need to look at Japan to realise what you can do with a small island, from hi speed rail links to creating entire islands to house there International airport. As Boris Johnson said, you can’t go expanding an airport that was built in the wrong place to begin with. I think the Labour government should start looking outside the box or this country will suffer. That’s all I’ll say else I’ll have to start a new thread in the bar.
     
  21. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Good thinking! :jumping0044: I might even find time to do some qualitative and quantitative research to back up my arguments! (If I'm not drowning under piles of benefit fraud!)

    Ok guys - I'm late again leaving for uni. I'll still get there on time, I just won't be quite so stress-free.

    Hopefully pet will blog about last night. We had quite an emotional night, but I think it's ok now (fingers crossed!). We really need to have sex more often. We're missing a lot of connecting time at the moment and neglecting each other's emotions. Gotta be put right!
     
  22. PuppyMaster
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    PuppyMaster Puppy Master

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    I know what you mean, Emotional night tho?! I hope everything is good?
     
  23. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Thank you Kris' Master. pet has blogged about last night, so I thought I'd add my side for you all!

    I had 2 final assignments due in today and they were finished and on the dining room table. After 2 weeks of solid work, I somehow expected to be able to relax and be relieved, but I found myself in some sort of lost-space. Not quite bored, just a bit confused!

    I knew I was being hard on myself because I wanted to start having lots of playtime and kinkiness when I finished all my work, but now I just didn't feel like it. :sign0055:

    I had been home quite late and we went to bed quite late, so when we snuggled down it was around 11pm.

    We needed to start reconnecting as we've both been dashing past each other, and pet seemed really upset by something.

    He started talking about missing his job and being at home with baby all the time and doing the shopping and housework, etc. and just seemed really blue.

    I've been there, having been a SAHM with 3 kids before, I remember those days where you just feel utterly worthless, even though you are doing the most important job on the planet - being a parent.

    I wish I could help pet out of that feeling, because if he looked at it from the "sunnier" point of view he should realise that he can mould his day, go to the park, chill out in the afternoon, fit in housework around keeping baby busy... but it takes LONG time to learn that.

    When I read his blog about how desperate he feels in his situation I was very upset for quite an odd reason. I want him to be happy in this "domestic bliss". I want him to be my secret sissy maid and enjoy cooking and cleaning... maybe that is madness, but it's also what I thought he wanted.

    I know he doesn't get to dress up whilst doing his chores, and that won't help his mindset, but I just hoped I had provided him with a set up where he could be a housewife, and I thought that made him happy.

    Again, with the money situation. I give him housekeeping and he is budgeting that fantastically, much better than I did with groceries, etc. He knows he can treat himself out of that, but it's only January (first proper month of him budgeting without Xmas) so he hasn't got any "leftovers" to treat himself with yet.

    I guess I was deluding myself about what he wanted. But he is a complicated little flower and rarely knows what he wants himself!

    There was a moment last night when I was lying on my own, in between our emotional problems, thinking "I really REALLY need to have sex with him... not because I'm horny (which I was :happy0158:) but because I really love him so much, and I need to be intimate" That may sound odd.

    Enough of my ramblings! Hopefully after a couple of good night's sleep and a lot less stress we should be back on an even keel.
     
  24. PuppyMastersPet
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    PuppyMastersPet Long term member

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    You're both so lucky to have each other. It's at times like this you realize how good you are together. I'm sure as soon as the days start to get longer your energy levels will pick up.
     
  25. Lady_Kismet
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    *huggles* it is hard at least you are understanding and trying to help him adjust. and i can understand the need for intimacy, so get some sex and sleep and I am sure it will all look much better.
     
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