Questions from a couple of newbies

[Nannie]

Hi,

I have no idea where to start. So maybe it is best if I just list off all of my questions (and some of my boyfriend's).

• I very much like it when he leads or goes dominate on me. Will him wearing a cage change that?
• I struggle with denying him. It goes very much against my nature, yet, he says he likes it. No real question here, just looking for more insight or advice.
• Does anyone have any advice about how to start? We don't actually have a cage yet and we are long distance. We usually get together every other week for a couple of days. Though we communicate daily.
• We have ordered a cage, but it is doubtful that it is the one that we will stick with because it was ordered on a whim before I fully understood what we were getting into, and we did no research. We welcome any advice.
• He thinks he masturbates excessively, and wants help stopping. I struggle with the idea of controlling his orgasms, it is a turn on, but at the same time it is something that I really struggle with the thought of, any tips?
• Additionally, he is asking if people on here thinks he should be locked up?

 

[Beyondheat]

Great to have you here and welcome to a fun journey. I don't want to overburden you with info and the fun might be finding out for yourselves what works. It sounds like your partner is pretty up for this and maybe hoping you'll take a bit of a lead?

It might be interesting to check out Sal's journal that she's been writing. She's started with little knowledge, but written well about where they've got to:

Thread 'Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes'

May 1, 2022

Hello folks,

I joined this site, nervously, just a few days ago and have had my prejudices delightfully dismantled. Nobody’s lectured me, or indulged in ‘mansplaining’ or been rude or overbearing. I’ve had such lovely, positive gentle advice. So, with another deep breath I thought I’d keep a little diary of my journey with my partner. I can’t bring myself to call him ‘Pet’, so I’m going to call him ‘my Pete’, which isn’t his real name. He’s in a responsible job, and people can be very judgemental.

Here goes.

My initial post is here

To recap. We’re in our mid-forties. I work in...

• longtallsally
• advice cage embarrassing forum newbie kh novice novice training pee public
• Replies: 2,160
• Forum: Journals and blogs

• 

We often switch who's dominating. Right now I've been locke up a few days so frustration is building. She loves how much I desire her constantly and guilt free orgasms. I'm loving my libido go through the roof and feeling everything. Well Switch it up again sometime, I'm sure.

Have a read about cages. Don't go crazy to start with. AliExpress or eBay etc will have some cheap versions of more expensive products to find out a good size. I've got into 3d printed Cherry Keeper because there is so much possibility in sizing and tayloring. A bit more expensive, but not as much as a properly made metal cage. They can cost a lot. Be wary of allergies to metal and to black dyes.

Good luck! It should be fun.

 

[Nannie]

Great to have you here and welcome to a fun journey. I don't want to overburden you with info and the fun might be finding out for yourselves what works. It sounds like your partner is pretty up for this and maybe hoping you'll take a bit of a lead?

It might be interesting to check out Sal's journal that she's been writing. She's started with little knowledge, but written well about where they've got to:

Thread 'Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes'

May 1, 2022

Hello folks,

I joined this site, nervously, just a few days ago and have had my prejudices delightfully dismantled. Nobody’s lectured me, or indulged in ‘mansplaining’ or been rude or overbearing. I’ve had such lovely, positive gentle advice. So, with another deep breath I thought I’d keep a little diary of my journey with my partner. I can’t bring myself to call him ‘Pet’, so I’m going to call him ‘my Pete’, which isn’t his real name. He’s in a responsible job, and people can be very judgemental.

Here goes.

My initial post is here

To recap. We’re in our mid-forties. I work in...

• longtallsally
• advice cage embarrassing forum newbie kh novice novice training pee public
• Replies: 2,160
• Forum: Journals and blogs

• 

We often switch who's dominating. Right now I've been locke up a few days so frustration is building. She loves how much I desire her constantly and guilt free orgasms. I'm loving my libido go through the roof and feeling everything. Well Switch it up again sometime, I'm sure.

Have a read about cages. Don't go crazy to start with. AliExpress or eBay etc will have some cheap versions of more expensive products to find out a good size. I've got into 3d printed Cherry Keeper because there is so much possibility in sizing and tayloring. A bit more expensive, but not as much as a properly made metal cage. They can cost a lot. Be wary of allergies to metal and to black dyes.

Good luck! It should be fun.

Thank you so much!
I will check out Sal's journal.

 

[FDcage810]

Hello there, welcome to the forums.

My wife and I are mid forties Marr for 15 years. I have been in chastity for the last 18 months. It basically started because I was masturbating too much also. I started to self lock whenever I was away from my wife. She found out about it when I had fallen asleep one morning after work and she got home early and say me wearing it. At first she was super pissed and weirded out by it. It took about 2 weeks of trying to explain why I was wearing it and the reasons was because I wanted to feel closer to her and not some silly porn anymore. At that 2 week time she asked me to put it in and see it. She had lots of questions about pain, and just a general why. About a month after she said she wanted to hold the key to make sure I was holding up my end of the bargain.
Well over the next few months the unlock time went from 2-3 times a week because she "felt bad" then it was down to once a week. She said that my mood was always a little worse after I was able to cum. She said that I wasn't as affectionate and playful towards her. She wanted to try a little longer time between unlocks. So twice a month. That went on for a bit. Now I haven't had an unlocked orgasm in 72 days. She has used the wand on me 3 times to cum in my cage. She said it was an experiment to see how my mood was. I never had that let down feels after having an orgasm in the cage.
So now I'm not sure exactly when I'll have piv orgasm again. But I do know that I'm the happiest I've been in my life. I wish we found this lifestyle sooner.

 

[Lancerexford]

Hi,

I have no idea where to start. So maybe it is best if I just list off all of my questions (and some of my boyfriend's).

• 
  
• I struggle with denying him. It goes very much against my nature, yet, he says he likes it. No real question here, just looking for more insight or advice.
• ...
• ... I struggle with the idea of controlling his orgasms, it is a turn on, but at the same time it is something that I really struggle with the thought of, any tips?
• Additionally, he is asking if people on here thinks he should be locked up?

Hi Nannie,

I'm sure he knows there are a lot of folks on here who are rooting for him to be locked up.

About your reluctance... I invite you not to let your guilt or sense of propriety stand in the way of denying or otherwise dominating him. There must be experiences in your life where you would want revenge on a guy, yes?? Use that to take it out on him. If he's like me, it's the service he wants to provide you. And if he's like me, being your sub won't reduce his dominant side. Dominance and submission are two halves of a whole. I have both inside me, and I'll wager you do too. Me, I needed to set my other half free. Maybe you too.

Just my two cents and maybe that's what it's worth.

 

[Nannie]

Thank you.

Hello there, welcome to the forums.

My wife and I are mid forties Marr for 15 years. I have been in chastity for the last 18 months. It basically started because I was masturbating too much also. I started to self lock whenever I was away from my wife. She found out about it when I had fallen asleep one morning after work and she got home early and say me wearing it. At first she was super pissed and weirded out by it. It took about 2 weeks of trying to explain why I was wearing it and the reasons was because I wanted to feel closer to her and not some silly porn anymore. At that 2 week time she asked me to put it in and see it. She had lots of questions about pain, and just a general why. About a month after she said she wanted to hold the key to make sure I was holding up my end of the bargain.
Well over the next few months the unlock time went from 2-3 times a week because she "felt bad" then it was down to once a week. She said that my mood was always a little worse after I was able to cum. She said that I wasn't as affectionate and playful towards her. She wanted to try a little longer time between unlocks. So twice a month. That went on for a bit. Now I haven't had an unlocked orgasm in 72 days. She has used the wand on me 3 times to cum in my cage. She said it was an experiment to see how my mood was. I never had that let down feels after having an orgasm in the cage.
So now I'm not sure exactly when I'll have piv orgasm again. But I do know that I'm the happiest I've been in my life. I wish we found this lifestyle sooner.

I have a lot of questions too. Mostly I want to ensure that he is comfortable. Right now he is using self control but really would like a cage.

 

[Nannie]

Hi Nannie,

I'm sure he knows there are a lot of folks on here who are rooting for him to be locked up.

About your reluctance... I invite you not to let your guilt or sense of propriety stand in the way of denying or otherwise dominating him. There must be experiences in your life where you would want revenge on a guy, yes?? Use that to take it out on him. If he's like me, it's the service he wants to provide you. And if he's like me, being your sub won't reduce his dominant side. Dominance and submission are two halves of a whole. I have both inside me, and I'll wager you do too. Me, I needed to set my other half free. Maybe you too.

Just my two cents and maybe that's what it's worth.

Thank you

My boyfriend laughed when he saw your reply and said "see!"

 

[lockedforfun]

I very much like it when he leads or goes dominate on me. Will him wearing a cage change that?

While he's caged, it very well could, but... if while he's caged you tease and deny him with no mercy, when you do unlock him, tell him he'd better take what he wants while he can because you're going to lock him back up before you leave town again... he may get very dominating with all that pent up frustration.