Hi All.
While I have always wanted bondage and light S/M, I did not realize that enforced chastity and orgasm delay was exactly what I desired.
About a week ago, I decided to try something new, and stumbled sideways into the idea of chastity and submissiveness. I have always know I was a sub, but could never get my wife to engage as a Dom. Her interest in sex was seldom and low, while mine was often and high. I would sometimes masturbate as often as 2x a day everyday for weeks straight, all the while feeling lonely and angry. I always felt rejected when she was not in the mood (most of the time) and was angry at her.
I decided that it was time for a change. I asked her to embarq on a Power Exchange program for one month where SHE was to determine what if anything was to happen at night. The crux was that she HAD to make the decision, I was giving her the power over our sexual life. I explained my desires ( sex at least once a month ) and that on other nights, for her to at least engage me in some sort of activity, if only being told to lie in bed naked next to her for 5 minutes, or even cuddle with her.
Yes, quite the aggressive submissive I am. But it is really just me trying to communicate my needs.
She was taken aback and not so happy (of course). I was demanding something of her and not really offering something in return. Realizing this was hard on her, I found a 20 sided dice and told her roll it when I am not around. Whatever number comes up can be the next time we have sex, and do not tell me when it is, so if on that day you are not in the mood, I will never know. The idea of her putting me off for weeks excited me greatly ...
Having done this, I began to face my underlying rejection issue. For me to ask and you to say you are not interested is rejection. For me to ask and you to say 'not tonight but I will tell you when' is surrendering control.
It was then I discovered male chastity devices. After reading up on them, I think I have found a solution to making it as easy on my wife as possible. If I am locked up and she has the only key, then I have surrendered the power to her. So I went off and ordered the CB-6000.
I continued to speak to her and try to open the communication. I am honest with her - I am asking her to do this to fulfill my needs. I want to serve her in anyway possible. We spoke of this and I offered that I want to be denied most of the time, but want her to use me to please her. Back rubs, foot rubs, run her bath, cuddle with her, serve her orally, just lie there naked, whatever she wanted - or even nothing. So long as she makes the decision - I can offer, she can say no. She will tease me often "maybe tonight ...",
I explained the benefits of orgasm denial and male chastity - how it completely moves my focus to pleasing her. I make sure I bring her coffee in bed every day. I clean up and do the laundry and make the meals. I hang her clothes and sit beside her while she watches tv every night. And I offer to satisfy her in any sexual way she wants.
And in that vein, she has graciously allowed me to satisfy her that way more times this week then she did in the previous year.
She may just be warming up to the role of bedroom Dom.
I say bedroom dom as we are married for 20 years and have always done things as a team - I do not know that I or she wants a 'lick my boots' relationship. But I am hoping this will help her examine her sexual needs a bit more. I believe she is getting rather turned on by the power in the bedroom
js
ps - please feel free to openly comment, criticize, etc. I have a lot to learn on this journey, and have the responsibility to make sure my wife is happy as well as myself. This may be a D/s light relationship now, but who knows where it will go.
While I have always wanted bondage and light S/M, I did not realize that enforced chastity and orgasm delay was exactly what I desired.
About a week ago, I decided to try something new, and stumbled sideways into the idea of chastity and submissiveness. I have always know I was a sub, but could never get my wife to engage as a Dom. Her interest in sex was seldom and low, while mine was often and high. I would sometimes masturbate as often as 2x a day everyday for weeks straight, all the while feeling lonely and angry. I always felt rejected when she was not in the mood (most of the time) and was angry at her.
I decided that it was time for a change. I asked her to embarq on a Power Exchange program for one month where SHE was to determine what if anything was to happen at night. The crux was that she HAD to make the decision, I was giving her the power over our sexual life. I explained my desires ( sex at least once a month ) and that on other nights, for her to at least engage me in some sort of activity, if only being told to lie in bed naked next to her for 5 minutes, or even cuddle with her.
Yes, quite the aggressive submissive I am. But it is really just me trying to communicate my needs.
She was taken aback and not so happy (of course). I was demanding something of her and not really offering something in return. Realizing this was hard on her, I found a 20 sided dice and told her roll it when I am not around. Whatever number comes up can be the next time we have sex, and do not tell me when it is, so if on that day you are not in the mood, I will never know. The idea of her putting me off for weeks excited me greatly ...
Having done this, I began to face my underlying rejection issue. For me to ask and you to say you are not interested is rejection. For me to ask and you to say 'not tonight but I will tell you when' is surrendering control.
It was then I discovered male chastity devices. After reading up on them, I think I have found a solution to making it as easy on my wife as possible. If I am locked up and she has the only key, then I have surrendered the power to her. So I went off and ordered the CB-6000.
I continued to speak to her and try to open the communication. I am honest with her - I am asking her to do this to fulfill my needs. I want to serve her in anyway possible. We spoke of this and I offered that I want to be denied most of the time, but want her to use me to please her. Back rubs, foot rubs, run her bath, cuddle with her, serve her orally, just lie there naked, whatever she wanted - or even nothing. So long as she makes the decision - I can offer, she can say no. She will tease me often "maybe tonight ...",
I explained the benefits of orgasm denial and male chastity - how it completely moves my focus to pleasing her. I make sure I bring her coffee in bed every day. I clean up and do the laundry and make the meals. I hang her clothes and sit beside her while she watches tv every night. And I offer to satisfy her in any sexual way she wants.
And in that vein, she has graciously allowed me to satisfy her that way more times this week then she did in the previous year.
She may just be warming up to the role of bedroom Dom.
I say bedroom dom as we are married for 20 years and have always done things as a team - I do not know that I or she wants a 'lick my boots' relationship. But I am hoping this will help her examine her sexual needs a bit more. I believe she is getting rather turned on by the power in the bedroom
js
ps - please feel free to openly comment, criticize, etc. I have a lot to learn on this journey, and have the responsibility to make sure my wife is happy as well as myself. This may be a D/s light relationship now, but who knows where it will go.