I will be brief to start. I have fantasized about chastity for the longest time. A decade ago, I was a second away from transitioning MtF (I still think about the episode in my life daily. I think it makes me better as a person and attentive as a man to my wife), and went to therapy and talked to me my wife. Time has passed and here we are. Two kids and one on the way, house, cars, mortgage, etc. Couple of months ago, I just got the courage to suggest chastity to my wife. She reluctantly agreed. Three weeks ago, finally took the plunge and ordered it. So only a couple of days now in Chasity. 12 to be exact. Two releases and no orgasms due to performance issues. Well, let's just say that after years of reading about the mental changes, all I have to say is FUCK. I don't know what the heck is happening to me. Let's go over the list. 1. I have a lot more energy (Its not endless but a significant more that I can notice) 2. I have no appetite. I have gained a lot of weight over the years, and could never diet. I haven't eaten at dinner time in three days because I'm just not hungry ?!?!? What is happening? I've lost 5 pounds 3. I am silly horny all the fucking time. Not hard - just horny. 4. I expected this, but I am really attracted to my wife. We had slacked, but all of sudden - yowza! 5. We are soooooo very far from it, but I am even considering how many years it would take to introduce cuckolding. I mean what the heck? I balked at the thought before and now I'm like oh yeah we should definitely try this. I mean who am I? 6. I gave up diet soda. Just like that. Been trying to quit for years. Totally fine. (I drink tea on the side so there was no real caffeine withdrawal) 7. I've been playing this game on my phone for the daily challenge for literally 6 years. Haven't even opened it. Don't care one bit. 8. I am motivated to get s$%* done. Hard to do no matter what with two kids, but taking steps to do it. So you tell me. I expect this is normal. It's just so much to deal with. Does it plateau? Do I even out? Will I be able to handle this? Anyways, I love it. My wife is still way to vanilla to start acting on it, I think. She knew how much I wanted to play last night but made me foot rub her for literally an hour, and then told me to just submissively snuggle up to her side in bed for another hour while she browsed Facebook, before saying she had to go to sleep. Wow. Just wow. I wished for it......
Many of us had similar experiences. May I ask, did you watch a lot of porn before starting chastity with your wife? -the footman
unfortunately I did. I had a bit of an addiction one could say. I sought out chastity to help curb my consumption, which it has. I am still looking a little bit, but it is probably more out of habit. I essentially have guilt now as well, whereas before I did not. It’s not like I can do anything about it!! Haha! Why do you ask @Beautiful and her footman ?
Because I shared the ill effects of porn addiction as well. Check out https://www.yourbrainonporn.com I'd recommend cutting out porn completely and in time your performance issues should clear up. Im my experience, all the positive aspects will remain, although some days they will be stronger or weaker than others. Best of luck to you, -the footman
I couldn't make a better recommendation than that, coming from the dedicated 'the footman", it represents the view of someone who has seen the truth of resigning the elusive release of male ejaculation and dedicate his life to the Goddess that can show him the way.
As many I feel a lot like you for many things you done, more energy, more diet, more housework, more care for children. On my side I think it is because I get more feminine in my mind and do works that is associated with. But I feel the same for porn and videogames, I was used to be addict to WoW or sex (PIV) but not anymore now. Sex move to pleasure her rather than ejaculate. I guess you are in the same way. look like your sexual energy does no longer goes to female insemination but to more productive life. A great example to follow.
In my opinion whether or not you plateau, depends on the interest level of your keyholder. I’m sorry to say that if she sets it and forgets it like a ronco rotisserie, eventually you will settle down. The excitement ebbs, and you are back to square one except no masterbation to fill the void. Without sexual interaction or domination, the thrill is gone and daily life begins to be just as routine as it always was. I cannot remain on that high without her. Whether it’s sexual, domineering, or just talking or texting, I need input or the cage just becomes part of me. We have only hit a lull a few times, but both of those times it was because we weren’t interacting anymore. Without feedback, dishes become just dishes, doing little things to please her just become favors to be nice instead of fore play, and life settles around the reality that everything doesn’t revolve around your cage. Like when you’re sick or she is. Unlocking isn’t even in the picture, it’s the furthest thing from either of your minds. Life goes on and your desire and imagination take a short break. Once both of you are healthy, a switch is flipped and you are riding the wave back up to your plateau again. So like a roller coaster, you’re not always climbing, parts of the ride are going downhill. Glad you are feeling so intense, the fantasies and hard limits melting away, I will admit are part of denial. All sorts of things change in your brain when you start putting someone else’s needs before your own. I had some limits I discussed with her before we started 1.I didn’t want pain or punishment. 2.I wasn’t going to be a maid or chore person. 3.I had no intention of being a cuckold. 4.No potty play....now... She gets turned on with pain and discipline, so that is expected. She likes how submissive I get when I’m feminine and likes a clean house so once a week I do that. I have given my blessing for her to take a lover, I am pretty small and after seeing how she likes size felt that I was limiting her pleasure. We are sticking to the no potty play rule, but for the most part, that is a lot of hard limits that went right out the window in a fairly short period of time. So chastity can affect you both mentally. Empowering her was a big deal in her self confidence and overall future decision making. Everyone may go through certain changes. Enjoy the ride.
I totally agree with Joan.T, speaking from experience porn is not good and so disrespectful to women!
So @Beautiful and her footman , @Joan.t , @Kylara , @Nicoftime , and @rebeccacd404 - I thank you so much for all of your insights. My constant mastrubation and porn habits(addiction) are something I have always kept from my wife, and she is still not aware. One of the reasons I suggested Chastity was to help put an end to this. I love her very much, and want to go onto another level with her. All of your input about putting her first and deriving my own pleasure through that is simply what I seek to accomplish. The issue is I must be patient. My wife is the definition of vanilla. She wants to accommodate me, but I can't seem to impress on her the positive impact for her. I want to expand this dynamic of our relationship but she seems to be not really taking interest in it (probably due to the performance issue), and that is disappointing and worries me like the non-interested scenario you laid out @Nicoftime . One thing is for sure, she is totally enjoying the backrubs, footrubs, and me listening to her intently for hours. The intimacy has brought us a little closer(although we are already a great team), and I think made her feel a little more confident. But not really sure if it is encouraging her at all to pique her willingness to try more. So far I am still locked from Tuesday morning, so far the longest stretch. Today is much more manageable and I am able to focus a little more on my work. It's just all so new and overwhelming. I really appreciate all of the support here.......
Just my take, and I know it would be hard, but I think letting her know about your porn/masturbation problems might help in the long run. Being honest is best anyways. But if she sees that this(chastity) is helping curb those problems and helps you focus on her and be more motivated in general than it should be a positive for both of you. She may be more invested in helping you stay on the right path.
Well, a few days have passed. A lot has happened. First let's slow things down. We lost our pregnancy at 8 weeks. We are pretty upset, and taking it hard. Although my wife was starting to get a little more involved and was reading the Book i got her to help her understand this chastity thing, this development has put the brakes on getting more involved in incorporating chastity. While we were waiting for the results of the blood tests and waiting for the ultrasound, we were refraining from fooling around, but she did allow me to pleasure myself in her presence for the last two mornings. I am still having erection hardness issues. Even though I got the prescription, of course insurance doesn't cover it damnit. So ordering from canada online. I will probably not be doing any chastity play for the next month. We'll see if I stay locked though. At any rate, I am so sad - we really wanted another child, and we are just getting older so our chances will be harder. In the meantime, thanks for all the advice from you all. You are great and very helpful. Hopefully I won't be gone too long. ......