One day i brought home an instructional video called "How To Deep Throat Your Lover". i thought if my Wife and i watch it, She'll get all excited and turn "porno star" on me and "DO" me right away like the girls in the movie (silly me). She explans to me... they are just what-you-call "acting" ... NO REAL Woman talks like that, nevermind, giving "head" like that. "ANYWAY, I have better things to do with my days than sucking your cock off every minute!"
"WATT??? You mean? Human male sperm doesn't taste like the NECTAR OF THE GODS, HORRORS!"
Time for drastic means so i start flexing my muscles...
"Whoa... eh? LOOK at zis BIG belching biceps und MASSIVE crotch cuz i'm vis famous SUPER Well-Endowed *Arnold SCHLONG-arzenegger* dor male actor who doez new flick called *The FORNICATOR*... ... Who can stretch and dilate dot beOOitfOOL Woman's BEEATCH cunt into ALARMing proportions!!!"
"Oooooh... pleassssse. Mister Barbarian MAN!" She cries while wriggle on the bed. "You aren't gonna ripe my filmsy underpanties off with your BIG Strong Masculine hands are you?"
i plumge onto the bed and we start wrestle in a mock rendition of the Battle of the Sexes and in mere moments i'm helpless down between Her, viselike, THUNDERTHIGHS. "THERE!!!" She growls. "PREPARE to enter the Black Treacheries Pussy Hole of DOOM!!! Tongue first!
AAAARG!!! {{{GLUSH}}} {{{SQUIK}}} {{{SLURP}}} {{{SLOOPLE}}} (neat sound effects...huh?)
"In time!" She hisses. "...the mere sniff of My vagina "SECRETIONS" will send you into an uncontrolable FEEDING FRENCY!!!"
i can honesty say we have NEVER actually seem a porno flick in it's entirety.
