I gave up

I understand what you’re saying, everybody’s a little bit different. But for me, it’s not so much, the orgasm, as it is the loss of the erection. If I stay locked and don’t have an orgasm for two weeks it’s kind of a disappointment to me when I finally have one. But the loss of erection, for me that’s devastating. I’m not sure why that is. I definitely miss the erection more than the orgasm.

 

I guess I posted too soon, cause I wanted to say the chastity cage is 100% effective, against stopping erections, so for me, the cage works.

 

Sorry it didnt work out for you.

 

So I think many of us have “suffered” through the offs and ons and the issues around cages. Also the “permanence” however that’s defined in your particular relationship.

What gets me off is the denial aspect and giving up control to my wife… we have a strapon/dildo set up that is very similar in size to me, as my wife similarly, likes to ride her cock, but she LOVES keeping me denied, so that helps solve most of the PIV issues.

I too was pierced with a PA, and after healing now wear a GA2 so no base ring and it totally solved the comfort issue…I have tried and tried to jerk it and can’t get off. Wand I can but it makes me very sore so it’s frankly not worth the effort.

I get it with the frustration, I would say don’t give up…it’s a journey and we’ve been on it for about 10 years.

 

Currently not locked. But I have promised her that I would tell her if I ever came without her permission, and thus far, that has worked for us. A few times, I really wanted to, but the thought of having to 'fess up was overwhelmingly scary, and I chose to behave.

But every couple is different. Things that work for some of you have zero chance of working in my case, and vice versa. I have learned to appreciate my new position in life, and I like that she can trust me.

 

I use a tether rather than a PA and it keeps the dick 2-3 mm from the front of the cage.

Yes I can orgasm with my partners wand which is why it is locked in a toolbox and the key is on the same ring as my cage key. But it is not possible any other way. So your main objection is done right there!

Also someone else said about the inability to get an erection...that ends up being a big deal.

 

I agree with what you are saying. Pretty much the same conclusion here. First of all it interferes with sleep. Second it’s hard to find something that’s comfortable enough for long term. Third as you say don’t prevent from cuming. Forth the lost of erection. Still is hoping to find a belt these issue since have never tried a belt.

 

Some of you mention the “loss of erection” - as in while wearing the cage or when it’s off? Just like “shrinkage” any loss of erection does come back and usually that’s only an issue for any long termers…it’s just a “body memory” thing that isn’t permanent, and generally only for ball-trap devices that keep the cock in a downward curving position. One of the reasons we settled on the GA after my piercing…when she wants to play with it, it’ll always be ready. The GA doesn’t prevent erection at all, just very hard to get off with it on.

Alma’s many have said, each couple’s dynamic is different and there isn’t a “one size” answer for everyone. I think most of us go though a journey and evolution and some “need” the cage, others don’t. That’s the fun, trying new things! (Just wish the cost wasn’t so much! Lol)

 

Hypnosis ? Like the real deal. Some say many things are possible this way.

 

I think most guys could cum within a few minutes with a vibrator. But you're having an orgasm in a cage and never fully hard. There's something a bit humiliating about that which I think would psychologically keep me in sub space.

 

OOPS I SCREWEDUP THAT POST....

Solutions? I think these issues can be dealt with....

First I didn't see what device(s) you had tried. Not all devices are created equal.

...I can't wear the cage for longer than perhaps 2 days because I want to be able to be as clean as possible down there.​

For this one:

• try an open bar cage from a quality maker.
• Develop a cleaning method and regimen that does a good job.
  • Que-Tips suck as a cleaning aid. Try Amazon for some "inkjet printer cleaning wands" these are tiny sponges on a stick they can get into the smallest places, are reusable for a week or two, and do a very good job of cleaning those hard to reach places.
• Always give yourself a good dick washing, or even better, have your KH do it while your hands are tied behind your back, immediately upon release. It's 5 minutes in the bathroom that solve all the odor and cleanliness issues.

...I don't want to wear a cage secured with my PA piercing because I always need assistance with closing it again (tbh probably solvable by buying another one)
​

This is a design issue with your device.

• Switch to a closure that you can do all by yourself.
• Or make it part of your play that your KH, ties you to a chair, and reapplies your device, perhaps with the necessity of ice packs to keep your small enough go back in.

...I can't wear it too long because my wife simply enjoys riding it too much
​

A quality strap on of your KH's choosing will solve this in a jiffy!

• In fact she can choose several different ones to see what she likes.
• Even if this doesn't work so well that you will never be needed again in your penetrative role, it is possible it will tide your KH over in between your periods of extended chastity.
• It's worth trying for a change, even if your not inchastity....

...biggest problem simply is that wearing a cage simply doesn't prevent me from orgasm. If I use a vibrator I literally can cum within 2 minutes.
​

This is clearly a security problem. Get a nice finger-print locking pad lock and set it to your wife's thumb, which of course you want to be under. Put the hasp of the lock thru one of the holes in the cable of your favorite vibrator's wire (if you are old school) or use it to secure a nice plastic "tool" box from Walmart into which your KH could place all of your favorite toys, your ass toys, cock toys, and all the vibrators.

If you can get off by leaning against the washing machine when it's in spin, god help you!

I came to the conclusion that this whole chastity thing for me doesn't work because it doesn't offer the possibility of 100% orgasm prevention. I know that there is probably no such thing but in my head it was THE goal/phantasy at the beginning and it still is. And this goal won't be fulfilled it seems. ​

100% perfection is tough, no matter what. Will 99% do?

• Chastity hypnosis could be helpful if you've played with hypnosis before or haven't, experiment with Vive https://vive-hypnosis.com . Lots of free stuff.
• Make promises to your key holder about your conduct.
• Try complaining to your KH that you are considering trying to cheat, let her lock your hands to your collar or otherwise immobilize you for a few hours. I find that the rawest need only goes in fits and starts and you can stave off bad behavior by submitting to some physical restraint till the worst passes...

Good luck,

ShieldingMatrix

[/QUOTE]

 

Like you, I would love to find a realistic (and non frivolous) way to be denied access to my penis. Also like you, I keep trying to make cages work. I read comments here for motivation and try again but always end up thinking what's the point. When not using my piercing I can escape my cage in a faster time than it takes to put it on. Even with a tight fitting cage a little soapy water or oil enables me to slip my balls out albeit with some discomfort in the process. Piercings are touted as the answer but they can become quite sore and difficult to contend with long term, particular at times when real life takes over. I can orgasm easily when in my cage, with or without a vibrator, ... and I am in my seventies. I have even used SSRI medication and it works to some extent in reducing my ability to wank but it diminishes my desire for just about everything thing else sexual as well. So you can see, like you, I have tried and I have given up too, except for some short time play occasionally.

I agree that a lot of what one reads here is fantasy, or more like wishful thinking while trying to make it work. The financial outlay can be enough to justify keeping one trying.

Sorry for being cynical, however, I have been following topics on this here for quite some time, like years. I believe that for most a cage is a short time thing used in the lead up to some sexy fun and is not suitable for long term chastity. Rather than going down the same old path that does not really work we should strive to think well and truly outside the square and come up with something new and perhaps totally different (to plagerise Einstein).

 

There is no right or wrong way to incorporate Male Chastity into a relationship as long as there is the right type of communication & cooperation. Contrary to popular belief, you can even incorporate Male Chastity & orgasm denial without a chastity device; it might be the least important aspect of Male Chastity.

Also, male orgasm denial can be implemented under the provisional idea that it is only denied when the partner wants it denied.

 

This is an essential point to remember when seeking a fulfilling relationship, in chastity or otherwise.

The corollary I would add is: To reach your own "perfect chastity" will require a successful, comfortable, and reasonably secure device, and some level of "fantasy" to bridge the gap between real world limitations and your perfect vision of magically inescapable, undefeatable, chastity.

Good Luck

ShieldingMatrix

 

I agree, having a vibrator verses uncaged and being stroked.

 

truth there is a different mental aspect having your dick locked up. Like an itch you can scratch. Sure, you can use a wand, but doesn’t seem to take care of the mental aspect of being able to stroke your cock. I’m been self locking, My wife still isn’t excited about a cage, so I’m going to try 5 days locked 2 days unlocked, so I can mix it up, take a break and hopefully adjust her to the idea. I have a fingerprint lock, which sh agreed to us to lock up the main key. I have a timer lock to lock up the spare “emergency key”.

Relationship are different as for me I enjoy my wife owing my cock. Having it locked is a reminder. Yeah, I could escape, use the spare key, vibrator, guess you have to decide why you are doing it

 

I agree too, especially that it can be humiliating especially if done n front of the key holder.

 

Take a look at this :
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChastityCo...he_6mm_hook_on_his_chastity_cage_permanently/

 

If it doesn't prevent you from orgasm, but it pleases your wife do it for her, it's all about her. Just my thoughts.

 

Since my comments earlier I am trying yet again to get a cage to work for me. The most comfortable cage for me has been a Chinese knockoff, called a Jailbird, I think. I squashed the coils together to make it smaller and relatively long lockups were okay. The longest was 42 days. Unfortunately it rusted inside after about 5 years and my search for other type replacements were not satisfactory. After my earlier reply I got it out again as I had found a very fine jewellery chain to make a loop through my foreskin piercing. The very light weight of the chain has meant that my complaint about the chain pulling on the skin is no longer an issue. So I now am able to at least have a tamper evident cage, which is probably the best one can hope for anyway. I also purchased a new similar cage, so I am back in chastity and my wife is happy again.

 

My tamperevident (hopefully) method has now worked well for two weeks. My wife has a few links of the chain stored with the keys so she can check if she wishes to see that it is the same chain. I would probably be caught out by the time I found a similar replacement chain myself. I quickly lose any interest when I am in continual discomfort, especially while doing vanilla things like paying bills etc, and this has removed that problem. I can temporarily forget I am caged. Let's face it, my hobby Dremel device could cut me out of any ball trap device in seconds so, in a way, my method is more secure.

 

Try hypnosis. Cal's Curse is a well known anti orgasm file that seems to work for some.