Some background: I've been locked now for 10 days. As part of an anniversary "present" I asked my wife to keep me locked for 30 days. It is rare I go more than 10 days because either she feels bad for me and lets me out or she wants real penis and lets me out. Which of course is great, but in either case its her choosing it, so its cool either way. I worked out at the gym late and she was in bed when I got back. I showered up and noticed she left the key out but I did not unlock because I did not have permission. I joined her in bed and she asked me if I wanted to remain locked. I said yes, and so we fooled around a bit and I gave her oral. She definitely seemed to enjoy herself. But now I feel bad because _I said_ I wanted to stay locked. Before when I chose to remain locked when given the choice she was upset or hurt because she feels like I don't want sex, which is obviously not true. I do of course, but I also feel like I should be denied. Its definitely a challenge. I enjoy being locked up but not at the expense of her happiness. Are we alone in this dilemma or have other couples faced this challenge? If so how have you worked around it?
Perhaps talk to her and tell her how much you enjoyed giving her oral and how the sex you had satisfied your needs as well, hopefully, hers. If she is equating your experience of sex with PIV and you do not, you could make her aware. That might assuage some of her guilt about keeping you locked. Good luck
For us it's much the same. I wear my cage to make sure that I don't get to have "Me" fun. But I generally know where the key is kept. She much prefers me over any toys. So I wear the cage more often than not leaving the key alone, and letting her decide when I get to be freed.
Explain to her that when sex is rationed, it becomes precious to you. While I enjoy sex daily, a rationed orgasm is always a solid 10 that makes my toes curl and electrifies every nerve in my body. Sex is ALWAYS better when she really wants it rather than her simply allow me because I want a quickly. It’s about making intimacy more intimate rather than a mechanical process that leads many couples into a sexual rut.
I'm only locked when Mistress is at work and unlocked when She gets home. Many times, I secretly would prefer to stay locked up rather than being unlocked. I've suggested that a couple of times, but was unlocked anyway. I know there won't be any PIV or other penile activity, so I guess I'm resigned to the idea of being locked and don't mind it so much.
When we started I was waiting for her to take it to weeks or months, she didn’t, and was unlocking me almost every night. It was fun and she was enjoying it but I secretly wondered what it would be like to longer. As chastity lost its newness it started turning into weeks and the occasional month and one time two. I think in the beginning both think way too much about locking and unlocking, but as time and her attitude adjust to it actually being about her, it gets unlocked less and less. Especially since our toy selection is just what the doctor ordered for her, any activity with me is now just for me and usually after she has had her needs met first.
Something I don't have to worry about! I stay locked and have no choice! She did say once "Would you like me to unlock you?" I said "yes please" her reply was "thought you might, what a shame I'm not going to!" Then a little touch of my caged penis. "You'll be alright".
I think the OPs point was that the KH had to get passed the idea that many women have when a guy asks to be locked and denied which is, “you don’t want to have sex with me anymore”?
I think the couple really needs to discuss what the desires are. I really want to have sex with her more, and I would like a little more than vanilla, so I try to make her life less stressful. I may be going about it the wrong way, but I'm willing to try different things.
We do often and did a bit today again. I guess I should have included in my post that we're not new at this. We've been practicing male chastity on and off for almost 20 years. Despite not really understanding the why she gets that I enjoy it so she's on board. Ultimately if she's not on board or not enjoying it she just unlocks and we just take a break from chastity play for a while, its not a big deal. That has happened before and its not a big deal. She's not into this 100% as a lifestyle thing.
it is not only like this, it is more, I would have an enjoyable sex with you, that gives you pleasure because I love when you have an orgasm. And to avoid me to harrass you or try to have sex the cage is a tool to control me. When you need me I am here, when you don't I am safe and I have something that remind me your power, desires and that makes me thinks that I have to wait until you decide to have sex, not when I decide. A mark of your dominance. Does the other men feel the same ?
As I written here some other contribution, my wife tricked me into long chastity this year. So I will stay, I could not say yes our no, she's doing this at this moment with me. I and she enjoys this so not nothing to change about this
She left you the key out. That was perhaps a hint she wanted your WHOLE attention. There would I think have been no harm in giving her everything she wanted ...but not cumming yourself without asking her permission. Which would at some point raise questions which you should answer truthfully and in the knowledge that your replies will potentially contribute to her decision about your future denial. You know your lady better than we do so what might push the right buttons for you both whilst remaining honest will probably help form your best responses. Its early days for you both so you do need to both guide and communicate with each other. I know of at least one author that says one of the best things that comes out of male chastity for women is the increase in mutual communication and general conversation and their guys opening up. If we want them to play this game with us then there needs to be a lot going back their way. Its a small price to pay. Communication ...opening up.. conversation .. I know, and I said it was a small price. Maybe not that small but in comparison it is.