I've not cum since October 6. I've been caged since October 11 (we couldn't get on with the first couple of cages we used and it took until the 11th before we got the one I've been wearing ever since).
I've been let out for daily showers as it's an inverted cage and we both want me to keep smelling fresh. I've not cheated in the shower even once. I've also been let out a few times for my Goddess to tease me and even once for PIV on the strict understanding that I was not allowed to cum.
My wife is gradually adapting and finding her feet as my dominant and I'm doing much less topping from the bottom. One thing she understood and accepted right from the start was that she had to put some effort in to tease and arouse me every day, even when she had no use for me sexually, in order to keep my interest in the cage and my orgasm denial.
She's gone out of her way to tease me multiple times a day and I'm overwhelmed with her commitment beyond my wildest expectations. I didn't expect the progress we've made when I took my brave pill and confessed my newfound submissive femdom kink desires to her last summer.
One signal that she was up for this was when we had to decide how long my initial denial period would be for. In the first place I suggested that I wanted it to be entirely her decision. She took that on board and did some research before coming back and informing me that the initial target for review, but by no means a guaranteed release would be 90 days! Wow. Some might say be careful what you wish for at that initial big commitment, but it thrilled me.
She explained that the guidance she found resonated with her on two counts.
1. She has no experience of dominance and hadn't fantasised about herself in a power position. She argued that a considerable first stint would give her time to learn, adapt and get used to being in charge. She hadn't had that role before and felt that time would relieve the pressure on her to find out about herself before I might be released. If I was released before she established herself and her confidence, I might not be willing to go back in the cage and submit to her as I'd told her I needed to.
2. It would give me the opportunity to test my submission and find out if this was really what I wanted. She felt smaller periods wouldn't be enough to make it real and could risk it being just an extended role play.
Since then we've come so far and surprised ourselves. We've already confided in each other that we can't see or would desire to go back to our old vanilla dynamic. We both know that our relationship was heading to failure after 25 years on our previous course.
Our love for each other is regenerated. We kiss and cuddle with the passion of teenagers. It's been a revelation. It's well documented on here, but it took me about 2 weeks of denial before I started to notice all the classic benefits that femdom couples claim. I focused all my attention on her, put her needs first without question, was attentive, caring and so amazingly in love with her. Oxytocin was clearly flooding my bloodstream.
On her part, the ability to call the shots and dictate our sexual interactions without having to consider anything other than her own needs and desires has seen an awakening of a previously suppressed sexual monster . She's a naturally considerate, caring and unselfish person. Being encouraged to be sexually selfish is an ongoing journey for her, but she's finding her feet day after day.
The freedom to act as she pleases in sexual matters is massively obvious when we consider the frequency of our sexual interactions.
Old vanilla us spent the last 2 years classically having one interaction every 2-4 weeks which typically consisted of her performing oral sex on me to completion and then me getting her off with a vibrator and then going to sleep. No spontaneity, no variety, just a reluctant race to get each other off as quickly as possible.
Compare that to this month so far. She came twice today, hours apart, and has had 8 orgasms since November 1. She's never been multi orgasmic and requires several hours to recharge after every orgasm. So today's achievement is revelatory in the context of our entire 25+ years. Twice in a day hasn't ever really been a thing for us. Until now! In short, calling the shots without having to consider my needs has supercharged her libido. She's still accelerating. I'm glad I'm not expected to perform PIV or P in anything for that matter - I don't think I could physically keep up with her if that was needed.
We've got this far without her letting me perform oral on her once (she has some hangups about letting me down there, but says I will get to do it soon) . She's also committed that at some point in the future I'm going to fuck her with a strap on. I'm looking forwards to both.
As I'm documenting this I'm developing some apprehension that even without having to bring my stupid weak dick into play, I may struggle to keep up with her. She says cuckolding will never be a thing she wants. Time will tell!
An epiphany for me, that I never expected to happen after this period of denial - how much my body looks for sensory experiences to replace penis stimulation, erections and orgasms.
I notice tactile sensitivity that never existed before. Any skin to skin contact is exhilarating.
But most amazing, to me at least, over everything else, is the discovery that I'm a masochist. This was not expected.
As everyone here knows. A ball trap cage presents our crown Jewels very much front and forwards. They are thrust into the limelight like never before and can't help but get noticed (by our partners at least)
After 10-14 days of denial, while cuddling naked and caged, I begged my Goddess to caress my very obviuos balls, arguing that it felt nice and a little simulation is better for me than no stimulation. I think I said something like "at this stage I'll take any kind of erotic simulation that I can get"
Now, in our entire relationship, my Goddess has never really paid any attention to my balls. And I've never encouraged her - why would I when the main event of my penis was adjacent and available?
The upshot of this was - she was reluctant to touch them and didn't really have any experience of doing it with the objective of stimulating a man. Her understanding went about as far as knowing that they are a man's weakest point and can be massively painful if manhandled.
So I encouraged her and pleaded and asked her to just run her fingers over them, brushing them lightly. She acquiesced and gently traced her finger tips over the skin of my scrotum. I purred with approval hoping to elicit further contact.
Seeing my approval, she continued. Buoyed with my success at breaking down her reluctance I suggested she might get closer and get to know them in more detail. She gave me an inch and I asked her for mile. That's a failing of mine and I need to recognise that it's better to let her go at her own pace.
I don't know if my drive to enhance the stimulation further influenced her mood (I can well imagine that I pissed her off), but she did continue to touch and even inspect my balls more closely.
But maybe, I did push to hard, because at some point in that interaction, she managed to move one of them somewhat clumsily, by accident (or maybe not?), and induced enough pain to make me yelp. She immediately pulled away, apologising profusely, looking genuinely distressed that she had hurt me.
Meanwhile I was having a eureka moment. Yes it hurt. But after maybe 2 weeks of daily teasing and total denial, hurting was feeling. Hurting was stimulating. Hurting was not an orgasm, but in the continued absence of anything even close to one, hurting, especially there, at the focal point of what was being denied to me, was closer to an orgasm than anything else i had felt in some time.
And so I said, trying to calm her down - she was genuinely panicking - "it's really OK. Could you do that again please?"
WHAT?
She said it. I was thinking it. Did I really just ask someone to deliberately hurt my balls?
Oh boy.
And so began my journey into masochism and a request that she finds the sadist within her.
We've gained confidence in ball busting and have came quite far in a short amount of time. She can genuinely induce a considerable amount of pain just by crushing them in her fist. She does this multiple times a day. She's sustaining the crush, making me writhe in agony. She also reads me pretty well too. She's pushed me to the edge and has released me milliseconds before I would have safeworded. I can't believe that I keep asking her for more.
She isn't a natural sadist - tonight we did something new - she wrapped her fingers around my sack, underneath my balls, strangling them, forcing them to bulge and stretch the skin, appearing like two shiny bald heads atop her fist. She went on to hit them multiple times. Then she stopped, exhibiting remorse. "I think I'm damaging you." she said.
I laughed - I'm 49 , we've had enough children, I don't need sperm any more, and 18 months ago we found that they weren't releasing testosterone anymore, forcing me onto a lifetime TRT prescription. The only thing my balls are actually good for is to provide an anchor for the bloody cage!
She laughed at that and hit them again!
She's asleep as I write this. It's 2am here. I can't wait until she wakes up and I'm really hoping she chooses to put them to the crush during our wake up cuddle as she sometimes chooses to do.
Masochism. I never expected it to be something for me! (He types while still feeling the pain in his nipples from the clamps she removed 3.5 hours ago!)
I'm such a lucky, happy maggot.
