Chastity device to control my masturbation and phone sex addiction

Hello and welcome. Good luck with it

 

Welcome and good luck, being caged doesn't have to include full on FLR, its whatever you want it to be, my KH locks me up as and when she wishes but that does not translate to her running the whole relationship, just access to my cock.

 

its got more an more permanent, currently im locked 24x7 for usually 2-3 weeks at a time then I get a few hours to a few days off then locked again. She likes PIV so I usually get to cum when released.

 

My advice on the rest of it would be to find a well fitting comfy cage loads to read about that on here. Then start off slowly, self lock for ever increasing amounts of time. Once you have a good cage and are able to do a few days to a week I would talk to your wife about it. I dont think you should talk to her while you are still figuring it all out as she may not want to be involved in those ups and downs and it may put her off.

 

Yes I love it, I have always loved the teasing and denial side of BDSM, I have been experimenting on my own for probably 10 years, usually without my GF's knowledge as they were not really in to it but for the last couple of years my current GF has been my key holder, it brings a fantastic dynamic to our relationship knowing I can only cum when she allows and she is getting stricter and stricter all the time which we both love. Its an incredible feeling knowing you probably wont get to cum for at least the next 2 or 3 weeks, it keeps you in a constant state of arousal which is much better than the peaks and troughs of constant masturbating. @PornAddict103 is fighting a similar porn based battle to you, he might come along and chip in some tips to help you.

 

Ok, you need to do 3 things here... First, cut the phone sex altogether. That'll fuck up your marriage in every way you don't want! Second, you need to tell her you're locking yourself in chastity for her because you want to cut the jerking habit and be more faithful & attentive to her. Trust me, she'll appreciate that. Third thing you need to do is reach a mutual agreement for her to be your keyholder... She has to want it as much as you do or it won't work out. Agree to some rules and some timeframes for how long you'll be locked up before she'll let you out to play (play with her and not your cock).

Do these 3 things in the order I listed... But you really need to cut the phone sex and forget looking for a another woman to tease you. That should be your wife's job and not someone else's. Remember that from now on.

Yes, I have a very serious porn addiction and spent a small fortune over the years on videos, NFT's, tapes, DVD's and Blu-rays. Personally, I locked myself in chastity because I have a SERIOUS jerking off habit and I just can't keep my hands off my cock and it was just getting worse every year. It's gotten to a point of where I was neglecting chores and making myself late for work some days because all I wanted to do was jerk off. So, I need chastity more than I need a relationship right now. A relationship won't work for me right now the way things are for me... That may change over time, but now just isn't the right time for me.

It can get depressing for me at times, I will admit it, but my best weapon is persistence. I know I'll be fine if I just keep going and stay locked up. I was nervous AF when I first locked up my cock in my first cage, but feeling a total confinement was so great that all my worries just went away after I snapped the lock closed. Point is, the sooner you get past that first barrier, the easier it will be to deal with the lifestyle.

As my signature suggests; "An orgasm is only momentary pleasure... Chastity is continuous pleasure!" But that's only true as long as you stay locked up and the moment you unlock and cum, you have to start all over again. Something to consider.

If you want, you can open a chat with me in private or just keep talking in this thread... Either way, I'll be around if you have questions or need an opinion/guidance.

 

Welcome to our community. Good luck on your path.

 

Keep it simple. You want to stop masterbating, and focus on only having orgasms with her. The wanking, is probably the elephant in the room, anyway. I wouldn't mention the phone sex, just stop it. Handing her the key, may or may not work. There are practicalities like cleaning that can make it seem like work. My took the key when I presented being caged as wanting to wait for her, and need something to help me achieve that. After a couple of months we keep a.cleaning key in the bathroom. The play key is by the bed, and an ornamental one around her neck.

 

You basically repeated what I said.

 

I'll just shut up then...

 

I stand by using a cage without telling her is a terrible idea. Imagine she grabs you being playful or finds it in a drawer. Be quite a shock for a vanilla wife.

 

The bigger issue I think are your desires and urges for bdsm that you know your wife will not indulge, im not sure what the solution for that is, could she be persuaded? Allow you to see a dom? The answer to both is probably no so you have to accept they must just stay as fantasies.

 

My wife was extremely vanilla and over has really grown to love some bdsm being incorporated in. You'd be surprised but you have to dip your toe in test waters first.

 

She found it the first morning, I had to think on my feet.

 

I have self locked and kept it secret from multiple girlfriends over the years but never maried or living with them so it was easy, i guess you know your relationship and how hard it would be. I would still find a comfy cage that works before you rasie it with her personally, but only you know her would she be pissed off you did it behind her back? Could be better just to have a discussion

 

@Pronto Guy don't get ahead of yourself... Stopping the phone sex should be the very first thing you do. It'll threaten your marriage. Cut that and then you can focus on what's next.