My March (and hopefully April) Journal

PornAddict103

I help others make Solo Chastity Fun & Thrilling!
Nov 14, 2023
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Pittsburgh, PA US
Week 1 - A new experience

One week ago on March 2nd, I got my release as orginally planned, but it wasn't all sweetness like I had hoped it would be. Being locked up 24/7 for 6 weeks broke me and made me miserable. My coworkers noticed a slight change in me that wasn't very pleasant and they could tell something was different about me. They asked me what was going on and I just dismissed it as feeling literally under the weather and drinking too much coffee for it, since it had been very rainy at the time. I feel I dodged a bullet that time. Next time, I may not be so lucky.

I didn't think of it at the time, because I was attempting to live out a fantasy of having to endure months of persistent teasing without any reprieve and no hope of release. But I now know that being locked up overnight was depriving me of much needed sleep and that was the main contributor to me getting desperate to get out of the cage. My main purpose of going into chastity in the first place was just to stop myself from jerking off so damn much (many times every day, literally) and driving myself literally insane to the point of where I can't think of anything but how badly I want unlocked seems more self-destructive than productive to me. So, I'm gonna unlock myself every night just before I go to bed, since I don't jerk off at night. I'm only sexually active in the day time, so there's no risk there.

I went to work without my cage on for a few days and it felt... Risky! The first couple days I was only a tad concerned that I might get an erection upon seeing a hot lady in the store who's my type, resulting in an embarrassing bulge in my pants... But on my 4th day in this new session, the horniness returned and I got hit with an urge while eating lunch in the breakroom. Since I left my cage at home, there was a definite temptation for me to stop eating and rush to the restroom for a quick wank, but I fought it off and made it through the rest of the day. This prompted me to keep the cage on for the next couple work days.

On day 5, I barely slept the night before, because I was feeling mighty horny, so I put on my Keyholder's Prize cage with my elastic strap and it felt really amazing... The strap holds the cage in place, so I don't have to lift it up to sit down and it doesn't turtle on me, so there's no need to adjust the ring. With the strap keeping my ring closer to my body, there is no unused room in the cage and it stops 100% of any erection. I can't get hard at all, but there's no pain or pressure. Just extreme frustration & horniness, the way I like it. It was my day off, so I spent a portion of the morning watching porn to give this new combo a thorough tryout. It makes me wanna jerk off so badly and since I can't, my balls ache ever so blissfully. I'm so loving this right now.

The next 2 days, I went to work with the cage and strap combo on. My original plan was to unlock myself for work and not have to worry about the cage and I could (hopefully) focus on my job a little better... But on day 4, I had a sudden urge and I decided not to take any chances afterward, so I went to work in the cage on days 6 & 7. It's a good thing I did because on day 6 I had a series a minor urges and on day 7, I had a severe urge that would've tempted me to take a "bathroom break" if I hadn't left my keys at home. So from now on, I'm only unlocking myself when I need to sleep at night and I'm relocking myself first thing every morning.

With a bit of counseling from some friends here in CM, I realized that my problem sleeping at night after a few days post-orgasm was from "withdrawal". I spent more than 30 years of my life jerking off to porn and using that as stress relief for pretty much everything that bothered me, so my body is insisting on regular orgasms and and I'm not giving it what it wants, so it's protesting by making me too horny to sleep on certain nights. However, sleeping without my cage on this past week is making a difference. Night time erections are still very common but they don't wake me up when I'm not in my cage, so I can get my rest and start every day fresh... Save for ever-filling blue balls.
 
Week 2 - Things are getting more and more intense every day.

On day 8, it was my day off and I got a good night's rest, but literally felt under the weather, as it had been raining overnight and then it quickly changed to snow after I got up. After putting my cage on the moment I got up, I felt maybe watching some porn would perk me up while I have my coffee. As the day went on, I felt some minor surges in horniness but nothing really substantial... That is, until I thought of the concept of going consecutive months without cumming, resulting in my balls getting huge. that was a SERIOUS turn-on for me. I spent much of the day thinking about what it may feel like going a couple months without cumming, only this time without the burden of missing out on sleep. It feels alot more doable than staying locked up literally 24/7. Perhaps my last session was too much all at once and I need to slow things down a bit.

On day 9, I woke up with a serious erection and was even leaking a bit into my underwear. I put my cage on as soon as the erection went down and was horny AF the rest of the morning. I had a series of urges while at work and was very horny when I got home, so I read some chastity captions and it really made my balls ache in frustration. Had one final urge in the evening about an hour before getting ready for bed. I didn't want to take a chance, so I kept the cage on when I went to bed... I woke up 3 hours later because I really had to pee, but I was calm enough afterward that I could take the cage off and sleep uninterrupted for a few more hours.

On day 10, I woke up feeling very horny again and my pelvis was a little sore... But I liked it. I put on my cage upon getting out of bed, but I was in a bit of a haze from the changing weather in my town, so I watched some porn while having my coffee to help me fully wake up. The ache and frustration was very enjoyable. Went to work with blue balls and smiling. Had a couple urges while at work, but nothing really severe.

Day 11, My balls are starting to plump up! Last night while at work, I had to walk the sales floor about an hour before closing time because our overhead wasn't working and I had to inform customers we were gonna close in an hour. While walking the floor, my balls swung like a pendulum and it was very distracting. At home it would feel wonderful, but at work I really try to focus on my job, so before we closed I bought 2 packs of Jockey stretch briefs to (hopefully) hold my balls in place while at work. I tried them on the next day and they worked exactly as I hoped they would.

The Peaks & troughs have returned! I noticed I'm getting suddenly super horny for a couple hours then I feel nothing for a few hours and then it comes back again. This has repeated itself for the past couple days and it still persists.

Day 12, I actually kept the cage on all night, because I felt I was too horny to avoid blowing my load if I took it off... I actually slept alright with it on all night. Maybe I was lucky, maybe it was just one of those nights when my body was more tired than horny. Who knows? Feeling a bit horny this morning but not as much as the previous few days. I have a short work shift so I'm gonna try to take it easy today and enjoy it while I can. I'm off work tomorrow, so I decided to wear the cage all night once again and see how it goes. I figured there's no risk since I'm gonna be home anyway, so I can just take a lengthy nap if I lose sleep.

Day 13, Today is FRIDAY THE 13TH!!! As I approach 2 weeks, I'm starting to feel pent up... I'm getting antsy and even a bit shaky, particularly when watching porn for fun. I'm starting to get that familiar feeling of not needing as much sleep because I have some unspent energy waiting to be "released"... Pun intended. ;) Had a truly fun day at work yesterday. I was already feeling mighty horny when I got to work and my task for the day was setting up the Ladies' Lingerie department, including dressing the Mannequins. Oh boy, what a day it was! ROFL! I'm off work today, but I feel like I'm already riding the edge and on the brink of orgasm, so I best be careful today if I wanna keep my load. I wouldn't be surprised if my body tries to induce a spontaneous orgasm on me... Again.

Day 14, I was so tired after getting out of the shower last night that I just put my cage on my nightstand and crashed out on the bed right after. Slept the whole night without waking up once and got up feeling like a million bucks! It's a good thing I was feeling much better, because at work I was bombarded with "visual stimulation" by having to help literally dozens of athletic ladies who were totally my type! One of them was my own cousin who was dressed like a Super Sexy Biker MILF! I know it's generally not a great thing to think sexually of a relative, but being locked up for 2 weeks and seeing her that way, I couldn't help checking her out. It really made me swell in my cage. I spent the rest of the entire day with my balls aching and wanting to jerk off. I decided I wasn't going to unlock myself until at least the following night, lest the temptation overwhelm me and ruin my current session.

TO BE CONTINUED...
 
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As tantalizing as it might be, it would probably make things really weird to ask her to hold your key. You've found the right KH for now in a timer controlled lockbox.
 
As tantalizing as it might be, it would probably make things really weird to ask her to hold your key. You've found the right KH for now in a timer controlled lockbox.

She's married to my 2nd cousin, so asking her is a serious NO NO. And yes, the timer controlled KeyPod does the job... You just have to know how to use it.

I created a user guide for it if anyone here is interested:
Key Fob User Guide - By request!
 
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Yeah I was only joking lol :)

Someone who I was chatting with privately wasn't joking... He said "a taboo affair would probably be the hottest thing I ever did in my life" and I replied saying "I don't know about you pal... But I'm 43 y/o and I wanna live to be 44!" He laughed and after a few minutes of total silence he closed the convo. :rolleyes:
 
Ok, I need to remind myself from now on to NOT swap out cages in the middle of the day, because I just accidentally shot my load again... :(

I wanted to try using my chastity strap with my Vice and I started throbbing after I applied the anti-pullout and snapping the lock closed pushed me over the edge. Aye Aye EESH!

This was an accident, not a release, so my session continues. I'm not resetting the ticker in my signature.
 
I'm gonna call it a Ruined Orgasm, because I'm sure most of my load stayed in my balls... They don't look or feel any less full this morning and I'm still horny AF, so I didn't get any sense of release at all from it.
 
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I'm gonna call it a Ruined Orgasm, because I'm sure most of my load stayed in my balls... They don't look or feel any less full this morning and I'm still horny AF, so I didn't get any sense of release at all from it.
Your balls don't store up semen. Most of semen comes from the prostate and seminal vesicles. Only sperm comes from your balls and it's a very small quantity of your ejaculate. Arousal stimulates your body to direct blood flow to your genitals. Chastity restricts circulation and that can contribute to the fullness you feel in your scrotum and balls where the blood is pooling. A ruined orgasm maintains your arousal.

If your balls stored up sperm, men who get vasectomies would have enormous testicles.
 
Well, lets not get into a debate... The topic has been argued by both sides literally endlessly across every fetish community on the planet. I'm going by my own experience and a full release will make my balls go down even while still in the cage. Everyone is different, so your experience probably won't mimic mine.
 
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Week 3 - I'm getting SERIOUSLY horny!

Recently, I was behind the sales counter at work, talking to a co-worker and suddenly a very attractive young lady walked up and asked "Where are the boys'?" and I thought she was asking for date. LOL! Fortunately, my co-worker immediately answered her by pointing her to the Kids' department and I thought "Oh yea... Like DUH!" It was very embarrassing. I told my co-worker I needed to use the restroom, but truth is I just needed to get away from the counter for a few minutes.
It really is amazing what a little Chastity-induced horniness will do to you.

As if that weren't making me horny enough, I very recently had torturous back-to-back work days... First day I was tasked with dressing female mannequins in Lingerie at the store, and then the next work day I was helping a bunch of lovely ladies who were my type. On the same day, my own cousin walked into the store dressed like a Super Sexy Biker MILF and that just drove me crazy! I told myself not to be looking at my cousin, but I'm so horny I really couldn't help it. I'm still feeling the effects of seeing her like that.

Day 15 - Although I slept alright, I woke up horny AF from what happened yesterday. I still can't take my mind off seeing my hot MILF cousin dressed in a sexy biker outfit yesterday. It's still making me wanna jerk off. Hopefully I'll be back in my element at work today and not have to endure another day of being surrounded by hot ladies who make cock swell and my balls ache. I love how it feels but I have my limits like everyone else and the past few days was bit much for me.

Day 16 - I'm still locked up and haven't taken the cage off, because I still wanna jerk off from that awkward but HOT AF encounter the other day. It's my day off today, so I think I'm gonna find something physical to do and hopefully it'll help me calm down enough so I don't wanna blow my load anymore... I'm surprised I slept alright while still in the cage and as horny as I am.

Coming to terms with my body, if it really wants an orgasm while I'm still locked up (spontaneous) then I'll let it happen and not try to fight it. Fighting off a spontaneous orgasm has proven to be miserable for me every time. Yes, I can hold my load but it keeps me on the edge literally for hours and totally drains me of both energy and concentration. So it's not worth fighting with my body. I'll let it take what it wants, but I won't actually try to cum.

Day 17 - My balls are starting to feel really heavy! I'm swapping out my Keyholder's Prize cage and Chastity Strap combo, because it's unrounded ring is starting to get a little difficult to routinely slip in & out of, because my balls are getting bigger and fuller. I'm using my slightly shorter Cage of shame, which has a perfectly round circle ring, so it's much easier to deal with. I slept without the cage on last night and got a full night's rest again. I'm horny as fucking hell, but I'm not suffering. I'm actually enjoying myself now and I'm going to work with a smile once again.

I may be smiling but the horniness and sudden urges are getting more and more intense... If this keeps up, I may end up getting a spontaneous orgasm before the month is done. Hopefully that doesn't happen but there isn't much I can do about it, other than hope it doesn't happen while at work. :pray:

Day 18 - Went to bed with my cage still on because I didn't feel I needed a whole night's rest, plus I needed to get up early anyway for an early work shift. All was well in the morning and made it through the work day without any trouble. However, after I got home I wanted to try my Vice on with my chastity strap as a new combo... I put the strap on the ring, then put the ring on. Upon putting the cage shaft on, I got instantly aroused and immediately started swelling. It was a warning I ignored. Putting on the anti-pullout made me throb and then finally snapping the lock closed pushed me over the edge. It was a ruined orgasm and not a release. Very frustrating and totally unsatisfying.

Day 19 - I think the ruined orgasm from yesterday made me even more horny... I went to work with a sore pelvis and had a series of urges throughout the day. I felt like I got close to bursting in my pants more than once. Arriving home, I'm still horny as fuck and I'm surprised I'm not riding the edge while eating dinner... I think I'm gonna leave the cage on again tonight to avoid taking any chances. I'm liable to end up jerking off for relief, should I remove the cage tonight. I've showered with my cage on many times already, so I'm alright with doing it again if necessary.

Day 20 - I slept alright with the cage on, thankfully. Woke up feeling mighty horny and getting aroused and excited by little things I would normally see as insignificant. Just seeing an attractive lady, young or mature, I can't help wondering what they'd look like in their underwear... I feel like my body is angry over the ruined orgasm the other day, but I gotta see to it that my mind is in charge and not my cock.

Day 21 - I left my cage on again last night to avoid taking any chances... That's 3 nights straight and it went better than I expected it would. I'm so fucking horny, I'm surprised I even slept at all! Maybe the rainy weather helped me get through the night. I can't help putting my hand down my pants and wanting to jerk off, only to end up grabbing the bars of my cage. My balls are so full that they take up my entire hand when I hold them. They ache but they don't hurt. They're a lovely shade of purple, but not dark. They're warm to the touch and not cold, so I know they're alright... They're just really full! My body really wants me to empty them, but I don't want to. I wanna keep them full and plump. How long I can stand to be this horny and full is anyone's guess.

TO BE CONTINUED...
 
Week 3 is the killer, well done for staying caged the last few nights :strong:

I just showered with the cage still on and I'm gonna sleep with it on again, because I'm still too damn horny to risk taking it off. I was off work today and wanted to jerk off the whole day. I still do. Better safe than sorry, as I like to say. :cool:
 
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Week 4 - My session is shifting from thrilling to Burdensome!

Day 22 - I wore my cage without using the key once for 4 days straight, because I've been so horny that I didn't want to take a chance by unlocking myself. I'm going to keep it on as long as I continue to be this horny. All I can think of right now is badly I want to jerk off. It isn't funny! Since I can multi-task, I feel I can still be productive at my PC while being crazy-horny all the time. I just gotta find a rhythm and stick to it... At work at the store is another matter altogether. There's no shortage of lovely ladies at the store and last week really was "Torture Week" for me. Trusting I don't get another such week any time soon, I feel I can withstand whatever lies ahead.

Day 23 - I went to bed last night with the cage on once again & I woke up with a small wet spot in my underwear. I was still feeling super horny, so I watched some porn this morning while having my coffee and I was leaking the entire time. That took away alot of pressure from my pelvis and the horniness seems to have eased off a bit... Or so I thought. Work was pretty uneventful until the second half of my shift when the urges returned. The last hour at work I got hit with a severe urge and thought I was gonna involuntarily blow my load in my work pants. Thankfully, that didn't happen and I took a cold shower the moment I got home. Some friends in World of Warcraft wanted me to host an in-game raid so I did that the rest of the night and it calmed me down enough to allow me to go to sleep.

Day 24 - I woke up leaking again... I was finally able to put on that Vice V2 & chastity strap combo I've been wanting to try. I tried it twice before and it turned me on so much that I ended up giving myself a ruined orgasm in my cage. This time, I swapped cages the moment I got out of bed while I was still in a sleep-daze, so I managed to hold my load. It worked very well and felt amazing, but I couldn't keep it on all day, because as my balls began to retract toward my body after a few hours & the pin in the hinged ring stuck out and dug into me, OUCH!!! So, after giving the combo a test run by watching porn for about 3 hours, I waited to calm down before swapping back to my Cage of Shame. Thankfully I was still able to hold my load. I was VERY horny the rest of the day and I started leaking again in the afternoon. I had another big urge in the evening, but I rode it out... No pun intended.

Day 25 - Woke up wanting to jerk off and get releif but kept my cage on... I took my Key Pod off my desk and locked it away in the safe on the other side of the residence so I cannot cancel the timer on it. I played a video game to help me pass the time before getting ready for work instead of watching porn. It honestly didn't didn't make much difference, as I still wanted to jerk off the whole time. I started getting some serious urges only a couple hours into my shift and got very antsy from it. I was also leaking throughout the day. Things finally calmed down in the evening so I went to bed a little early. I felt exhausted from being so horny all the time and constantly wanting to jerk off. This is starting to feel more like a burden than a thrill at this point... I really need a few days reprieve from this torture.

Day 26 - My balls REALLY ache this morning... I didn't hear my alarm clock go off, but a serious erection woke me up about 15 minutes after it went off, so I kind of owe it for that. Funny how things sometimes work out in a humorous way. I decided that instead of watching porn while having my coffee this morning that I was going to resume an in-game project I started last week. I got that much done, but I still can't take my mind off of how badly I wanna jerk off... I had one hand controlling the gaming mouse and the other hand holding my cage all this morning before going to work. Things seemed to have calmed down in the mid to late afternoon and I can finally relax this evening and get some much needed R&R...

My balls feel very heavy. I can feel them resting on my chair when I sit down and I have to use my off-hand to hold them out of the way just so I can use toilet tissue. I feel them moving about between my legs when I walk around. I almost feel like I need to walk with my legs a little further apart, but I don't want to walk around looking like I shoved something up my ass. That'll draw alot of unwanted attention.

Day 27 - Woke up very horny again... Had nothing better to do so I watched some porn for a half-hour and I've wanted to jerk off the rest of the morning. I went to work feeling heavy & full down there, but the horniness went away the moment I arrived at work and it didn't come back until I got home in the evening. I went to bed late because I was very horny and couldn't stop thinking sexual thoughts.

Day 28 - I went to bed late, woke up twice in the middle of the night, then woke up early because I'm too horny to sleep right now... I can only really focus on 2 things this morning; How badly I wanna jerk off & a new cock cage is arriving today and I gotta be careful when swapping out to give it a try or I'll risk another accidental ruined orgasm. I wonder if another ruined orgasm will either soothe my urge to want to jerk off or make it even worse, but I don't know if it's worth taking a risk. I'm not desperate to be unlocked (yet) and I really don't want to be. I wanna keep going. I told myself No cumming until sometime in May, but I'd like to go further if I can. Honestly, I won't complain if I only last one full month because it's still great progress going from only a couple weeks at a time earlier this year to back-to-back full months.

I'm thinking maybe I can avoid desperation altogether and last even longer if I stop whining about how badly I wanna jerk off and instead focus on how wonderful my balls feel... They're so full & heavy after a whole month of not cumming and I love it! Every now and then they get a slight cramp, particularly when aroused, but it's not painful... I actually enjoy it. Don't know how long it'll last before my body rebels and unloads itself, so I'm enjoying it while I can.
 
Week 5 - I'm leaking every day!

Day 29 - Things seem to finally be calming down... I got up early this morning and watched some porn because being a holiday not going anywhere, I had nothing better to do. It made me wanna jerk off for sure, but it only took me a few minutes to calm down after I stopped watching. I hosted a gaming session online for some friends today. After the session was over, I decided to "customize" one my female characters in the game and that triggered an urge and made me wanna jerk off again. My balls really ache and I'm riding the edge & leaking all this evening.

Day 30 - I woke up with a damp area in my underwear. This is starting to happen frequently, so it's a good thing I stopped wearing white underwear and switched to dark colors. Other than going to work with blue balls as usual, not much happened and the horniness went away as the evening approached. A new cock cage that arrived a couple days ago didn't work out, so I ordered another one that's more similar to the one I'm currently locked in and I'm just waiting for it to ship.

Day 31 - A FULL MONTH WITHOUT RELEASE! The changing weather is really making my system go haywire! I slept in and got up 2 hours later than usual, so it's a good thing I had a late work shift and not an early one. I had a frustrating conversation with the relatives about something pointless and I decided to remedy that with one of my video games instead of watching porn again, because I just wasn't in a teasing mood at the time. About an hour after I got to work, I went to use the restroom and had a semen discharge. That took alot of pressure off pelvis and the horniness decreased for the rest of the day but didn't go away entirely. In the evening I can a couple minor urges, but they were short & tolerable... I actually enjoyed them this time.

Day 32 - Woke up horny again and feeling really full & heavy... I really want to jerk off right now, but I also want to keep my balls full. I was holding them in one hand while drinking my coffee with my other hand at the same time I was watching porn to help me wake up. The weather outside is making me want to call out work and go back to sleep, but I gotta get up. I wonder if my body is playing tricks on me just to get any kind of orgasm at all, because I felt a little irritation between my cock and my balls, so I momentarily unlocked myself to check down there to ensure everything was alright and then while relocking myself, I started throbbing and I tried to fight it off and ended up with an accidental ruined orgasm. So frustrating! I've never been so physically sensitive in my entire life! Several hours later, I had some minor urges... My body wants more, but I ain't giving it what it wants!

Day 33 - Woke up with a serious erection in my cage and leaked ALOT after it went down... I think it was a wet dream and not a typical leakage this time, because not only was it different, but so much came out that it soaked my underwear. I've had 2 ruined orgasms this month a couple weeks apart and still, my body acts like it never got one in the first place. I'm getting minor urges this morning, making me want to jerk off regardless if I watch porn or not. Since they're only minor, I can actually enjoy them on my day off today. Had a whole series of minor urges throughout the day and felt mighty horny the whole time. Going into the evening I had 2 serious urges. Even though I had a ruined orgasm just yesterday, I damn near involuntarily shot my load during one of the severe urges. My balls really ache right now.

Day 34 - Went to bed last night very horny but woke up calm and doing just fine this morning. I watched a few short porn clips to get some screenshots for my chastity caption projects and it made me swell a bit in my cage, but I wasn't on the verge of popping so I really enjoyed it. also sorted through a few of my recent porn downloads to put them in the appropriate folders on my PC. Spent the remaining half hour doing other things to calm down before getting ready for work, since I have a busy weekend ahead of me. Had a severe urge twice while at work and was generally relived that it was gone by the time I got home so I could get some uninterrupted sleep. I really need it!

Day 35 - Woke up rested and had some new ideas for chastity captions. Had to watch some of my porn collection to take screenshots for the images. It really made me leak & swell in my cage and I went to work with blue balls. Work was absolutely crazy! A new sporting good store on the other side of the mall had a celebrity football player for their grand opening and much of the crowd found its way into my store. I was on literally on the run the entire day and was so tired when I got home that I totally forgot how horny I was and just plopped onto the bed and crashed out.
 
Week 6 - I'm constantly horny and thinking of sex!

Day 36 - I called out work, because I was physically burned out from the craziness ay my job the past few days... Stayed home, watched some porn in the morning, made a few new chastity captions and played a few video games. Pretty uneventful day but that's a good thing for today because I'm getting some much needed rest. It's been a few days since that ruined orgasm and I already feel like I'm getting full again. Horniness seems to be increasing again. Just looking at one of my female video game characters, or seeing an attractive women on Youtube is making me want to jerk off.

Day 37 - Got up feeling horny but went to work just fine. In the middle of the day I got a series of urges and towards the end of my shift I had a severe urge that made me moan and whimper... It's a good thing nobody was around when it happened because it was very difficult for me to contain myself and keep my voice down to stay descrete. I had more urges as the evening went on, but they stopped about an hour before my usual bedtime, so I was lucky in that regard.

Day 38 - Got up a little later than usual because I was tired from a hectic past-week. I decided to try my "Little Cock Restraint" cage one more time before the new cage comes arrives in a few days. It was very tricky to put on because of its unusual ring shape and that made my balls genuinely hurt the last 2 times I tried it on... This time I shaved my groin first and that made it much easier to put on. So far it hasn't made my balls hurt after about 3 hours, but I'm going to keep it on all day and the key with me to work just in case things change and I have to take it off. Well, it didn't happen and I went through the whole day with no pain. Strange... I tried that cage without shaving my groin and it hurt my balls. I shave my groin and the pain just goes away... I don't know. It's anyones guess.

Day 39 - Tried to sleep with my "Little Cock Retraint" cage on overnight and I couldn't do it... A erection pushed the whole cage forward and it was painful, so I swapped back to my "Cage of Shame" this morning and all is well again. GOD, I'M SO FUCKING HORNY THIS MORNING!!! I can't stop rubbing my crotch and can't get sexual thoughts out of my head! Around this time during my last session I was seriously breaking and in tears, but I'm doing much better this time around. I know I keep saying that like a broken record, but it keeps me going and comforts me so I don't crack again. It seems the longer I go, the more intense this gets and there's just no leveling out in the honrniness or urges.

Day 40 - Woke up with a major boner again but I also had to pee BADLY, so I rushed to the bathroom and used my "hygeine only" key to unlock myself and releive myself, then after the erection went down, I locked myself back up very carefully. I tried to go back to sleep but I was too horny to drift off. Since I couldn't get sexual thoughts off my mind, I watched some porn for a couple hours and it really made my balls ache... I was supposed to go shopping today, but I really wanted to stay at home and watch porn and ache all day today. I had to tell myself to let go of my crotch and drink my coffee before it gets cold. I did my scheduled weekly cleaning as planned and I had to be very careful because I was already very horny and a consistant rub on my cock would've pushed me over the edge made me blow my load. Thankfully, that didn't happen... I managed to hold my load while in the shower and while putting the cage back on. After leaving the bathroom and going back to my room, the horniness took off again and I was on the edge for the entire afternoon. Went to bed in the evening feeling exhausted.

Day 41 - Got a full night's rest without waking up once. Feel much better now! Still very horny, but feel calmer now. I keep telling myself chastity is what I need to improve myself... But GODDAM, I wanna jerk off so badly! I know watching porn doesn't help sooth the frustration, but I really cannot help myself in that matter. I'm very glad I have a busy day ahead of me, so hopefully I can take my mind off of how badly I wanna cum, even if it is only temperarily. The weather has taken a turn for the worse this afternoon and made me physically tired due to atmospheric changes. I was supposed to go shopping since I didn't yesterday, but the weather won't allow it. It's windy AF and it's coming down like a waterfall! Got home, ate dinner and played a video game and a couple hours later I crashed out.

Day 42 - Tied my longest session today! A thunderstorm woke me up about an hour earlier than my usual time and kept me up. It didn't clear out until after I was already wide awake and it's a nice day outside, but colder... Having nothing else to do this morning, I watched some porn and ached & leaked. Interestingly, I don't feel desperate at all. Even though I'm constantly horny and always wanting to jerk off, I feel more like I'm finally gaining control of myself through the horniness and lack of orgasms. I'm giving some serious thought into possibly staying locked up from now on, not permenantly, but going forward I'll save full orgasms out of the cage for very special occassions and If I go a long time (couple months) without any kind of orgasm at all, then I'll give myself either a ruined or caged orgasm just to maintain my desire. I want to make full orgasms out of the cage special, so they would have to be "justified".

Nothing is set in stone, as I know situations change and an emergency can literally come outta nowhere, but I really wanna keep this going for as long as I can and find ways to make it enjoyable to keep my desire up (no pun intended) and get continuous pleasure by means of denial, instead of going back to constantly jerking off for momentary pleasure.