Week 8 - I'm starting to miss my cock and this is just getting more and more difficult... Is desperation setting in?
Day 50 - I had a really hectic day at work yesterday. Nothing bad happened, it was just a non-stop grind the whole time. When I got home, I was so tired I didn't bother to pee before going to bed. I just crashed out. Woke up at 4AM to pee and crashed out for another 2 hours and then got up with mixed emotions... The weather has gotten cold again and I'm feeling it. I also feel very hungry from the non-stop grind yesterday. But, most notable, I think I'm starting to miss my cock. I got up this morning wanting out of my cage, not because I want to cum, but because I just wanna hold it. It's a little depressing. I'm starting to feel like a child who wants his toy but it's just out of his reach and there's no parent to help him get it. Maybe this'll pass... I'm off work for a few days, so I'll find something useful to do in the meantime.
Day 51 - Yesterday I accidentally gave myself a ruined orgasm while doing my weekly hygiene upkeep. That soothed the horniness and urge for the rest of the day, but this morning it's starting back up again. It's only minor for now, but I know it'll start growing again in the coming days. I'm going to try to last until June 1st without release since I keep getting these ruined orgasms. Hope it's not so, but they might become the new normal for me if I remain so physically sensitive. If this doesn't change, then I might need a new plan, but we'll have to wait and see.
Day 52 - Slept in on my day off. Woke up a bit horny, but less than usual after that accidental ruined orgasm, but I still wanna jerk off. Every day, I'm either watching porn on my PC or I'm playing it in my head and even visualizing myself in scenes with women who are totally my type. I really wanna jerk off and it's making start to feel a little depressed that I can't. The thrill of not being able to jerk off when I really want to is slowly turning into a sad burden. I'm always horny, always grabbing my cock cage, always wishing it would somehow unlock itself... It's starting to get difficult to stay focused on the good feelings of being locked up for so long, but I'm determined to pull through and keep going. I never expected to last nearly this long when I first started 8 months go, so I have hope that I can last even longer if I just keep going. Maybe those ruined orgasms are what I need.
Day 53 - Pretty uneventful morning... Posted some replies in CM threads and gave some advice to a newbie looking to order their first cage. Instead of watching porn this morning, I decided to resume leveling up a character in World of Warcraft. Other players with female characters are wearing some pretty skimpy outfits... So, do I really need to watch porn? LOL! These other players are something else! As mid day approaches, the horniness is increasing and I'm starting to get urges again. My balls are aching as well. If I wasn't locked up right now, I would definitely be jerking off for much needed relief.
Day 54 - Woke up with a damp underwear this morning, because I leaked alot while sleeping. Been horny since I got up and having urges pretty much all morning. Been trying to stay occupied by sticking to hobbies & research that I like to get involved in (not porn), but I can't ignore the horniness and urges to jerk off for much needed relief. On the one hand, I love how it feels, but on the other hand, it's really starting to weigh down on me... Had more urges in the evening while at work. There was one MILF of a customer at the store I waited on who had me silently moaning in frustration after her departure. I ended up going to bed late because I was so horny and it was difficult for me to fall asleep.
Day 55 - Less than a week to go until my 2nd full month is in, yet this is getting more & more difficult, in contrary to others telling me things would smooth out after a month or so... I didn't get a full night's rest, because a serious erection woke me up and made me even more horny. I was swelling in my cage and couldn't get images of hot MILF's out of my head for more than an hour. After my cock finally calmed down and went soft, I leaked ALOT. It's a good thing I ditched my white underwear for dark colors, because I'm leaking in them literally every day. Others in CM suggest I'm reaching a "breaking point" and it may be time to call it... Perhaps they're right, but I'll wait until I get that 2nd full month in before I decide anything. 2 full months may be my hard limit. I think desperation is finally setting in! If I go further than 2 months and this just keeps getting harder, then I'm gonna lose it!
Day 56 - Got a decent night's rest but feel exhausted this morning... I'm thinking maybe instead of starting another set schedule for my next session, I'll start playing my dice game again and let fate determine how long to stay locked up for. I think that'll be more interesting. Regardless what my next session will be like, I decided I'm giving myself release upon hitting the 2 month mark, so I don't literally go insane and drive myself to doing something stupid. I think I'm already partially there, because getting nothing but ruined orgasms for 2 months has made me more than just non-stop horny and frustrated... I'm constantly imagining hot women totally naked and teasing me, plus the customers at work are now triggering urges and I'm starting to catch myself staring at some of my co-workers who I always found attractive, but now I'm finding it hard to resist picturing them totally naked in front of me. I'm conscious about my job, so this has got to stop! On May 2nd, I'll give myself release and hopefully that'll help put my mind back where it belongs.
