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An ongoing experience of chastity and love

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by Lockedwithlove, Apr 4, 2016.

  1. please feel free to comment or ask any questions if you wish :)
    I'm rounding up to about a year of being in chastity and I wanted to start a new blog as I no longer feel like calling this a beginners experience. My other blog is over at [ http://www.chastityforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=61167 ] if you're interested in reading my thoughts from the very beginning of my chastity and reading about some pretty hot sex too.
    What lead me to chastity is an interesting question and a lot of us probably have similar answers to mine. To sum it up from the beginning I had a masturbation problem and it roots back to day one, the first time I orgasmed. I can completely remember it, I was really young, 11, I had hit puberty at a very young age. It was such an intense feeling I remember thinking that right after it went away I wanted to feel it again. From then on it was literally a multiple sessions a day problem that lasted until just last year, so figure a good 21 years of lots of self pleasure. I think because I was such a young age when I started it just felt like such a natural thing to do, which it is but can quickly get out of control. Well couple that with growing up with Internet porn you can imagine how that fueled the fire of my addiction.
    By the time high school came around my hormones were in full force like all teenagers. I was a damn good looking guy in high school too but I never dated that many women. I had two things that were slowing my social life down, I had low self confidence and pretty much from the beginning I've felt submissive towards women. My confidence was low because coming from junior high I was kind of a dork and fat. My submissiveness to women might come from growing up in a house with my mom and two older sisters, dad was definitely there but traveled a lot for work so I think I just got used to women telling me what to do and I like it. When I hit high school I miraculously ended up being one of those guys who completely transformed over the summer into a really good looking guy, I shot up to 6ft, thinned out and got my hair styled differently. My mind wasn't ready for my new look yet, I still felt like the dorky fat kid, so I remained a nice submissive boy who a lot of the girls didn't have an interest in me because I wasn't one of the bad boys. Or id go on a date or two and I was just a little to sweet and respectful for them. My junior year of high school I had a senior girl who was infatuated with me. She was pretty cute but a lot of people thought she was loud and opinionated which to be honest was absolutely true. I'm not even sure how we started hanging out but we did. It came to the point one night when we were talking on the phone and she flat out told me that she wanted to fuck me, told me how hot she thought I was. It was exciting, we were planning it out, she was even going to buy special lingerie to wear for me. I asked her if she would tie my hands and "take charge of me" she said she'd only tie up one because she wanted me to be able to take her clothes off. Sadly long story short my low self confidence kicked in and I ended up being a pussy and I didn't get laid, probably a good thing because it might have changed who I was and I might've ended up a cocky prick. Fast forward 3 years and a few sexless relationships later and I would meet my soulmate and best friend. I met my mistress in a college English 102 class.
    I don't know what it was but no one has ever made me feel as comfortable around them as mistress does. She is and has always been such a kind, warm and loving women. One night almost 3 weeks into our relationship she told me she loved me and that she picked me. I absolutely melted, the women of my dreams told me she loved me and wanted me from the first time she laid eyes on me.
    Rewinding a little bit... As I said we happened to be attending an English class together. I had certainly noticed her but I assumed she was out of my league and I never spoke to her. Little did I know that she was watching me very closely everyday for several weeks as I came to find out later.
    One day In early October I was working in a store in our mall, I was 20 years old. There was a calendar stand that had been set up the night before right next to the store I worked at. I came in for my shift and sure enough there was my goddess standing by the cash register working at the calendar stand looking as beautiful and radiant as ever. I watched her for a minute before I started walk over to talk to her, she's right around 6ft and has this beautiful natural auburn reddish colored hair that went just past her jawline and flipped outwards, she has beautiful soft brown eyes and light freckling on her pretty face. I also couldn't help but think how good her ass looked in her dark blue tight jeans and she has an incredible 38C chest. I was probably drooling at her is more the accurate description of me looking at her. She caught me looking at her and she started to approach me. I was so thrilled I could hardly believe it was happening. We instantly hit it off and I have never felt so instantly comfortable or welcomed by anyone as I did with her. We talked all night during our shifts and right up to around the time the mall was closing. I mustered up my courage and said something dorky and cheesy to her to get a date and she ended up giving me her number, we hung out together that night with another one of her friends, I bought them both dinner and we had a great time . Two days after that night I was driving to work and she called me on my cell, I couldn't believe it, I was doing the 2 day no call rule because I liked her so much I didn't want to seem to eager(stupid right). mistress knew what she wanted and we went on another date two nights later. 3 weeks after that she took my virginity and I belonged to her.
    These last twelve years have been absolutely incredible with her and she remains the woman of my dreams and I'm lucky she puts up with me. About a year into our relationship some of my porn fetish spilled over into our sex life. Even though we were having sex like crazy I was still masturbating and looking at porn. I was looking at so much porn I was always looking for harder stuff because that's what I needed to get off, my tastes grew darker. I have a huge latex/PVC fetish and I love sexy little outfits made from those materials and there is a plethora of porn dedicated to that fetish as I'm sure a lot of us know. Anyway I bought my mistress a black pleated PVC skirt, black PVC short zip front tank top and fishnet stockings. I laid them all out on my bed and pulled my blanket over them (we weren't living together yet). My queen was going to be coming over shortly and I wanted to surprise her with the outfit and see how she'd react to my fetish. Well she came over, we chilled for a bit and then I brought her into my bedroom and told her I had a surprise for her. She had a curious look on her face and then I whipped back my blanket to expose the naughty wear. She was slightly shocked when she saw what I bought her but she had a smile on her face too. After the initial shock she stripped down to try them on. Oh my god did she look so gorgeous in that outfit! Her breasts were busting out of the top, the skirt hugged her hips perfectly and her ass looked so good and damn her legs looked sexy in those fishnets. I instantly got hard and she came over to me just to see how horny she made me. We laid together in my bed making out, my cock still at full attention, I loved the feeling the material over her warm and soft body. There was even an arousing scent from the martial itself and her perfume and it was all driving me insane. It was some of the best most unforgettable sex I've ever had because she made my fantasy real, the mental image of her in that outfit will forever be in my memory and is making my device tight just thinking about her.
    However... this created a problem for me. I thought she liked the outfits and I wanted to get her all kinds of slutty whorish things to feed my fetish. I started buying a lot of these outfits and over the years I'm sure I've spent thousands of dollars on them, some of them she's only worn once or twice. I was always trying to convince her to wear them for me. She did for a while but then she became fairly reluctant and flat out refused to wear them for me anymore, I started to make her feel self conscious. I felt I needed her to wear them because porn had created such unrealistic expectations for me that seeing her in those outfits was what got me horny and I had a hard time reaching an orgasm unless she was in one of those outfits. This problem persisted for a long time although we had an amazing relationship because we were still best friends but I was slowly pushing her away unbeknownst to me. Well like most couples do, we decided to have a baby and this was after 9 years of being together, married for 3 years at this point. We had some incredibly intense sex the whole time mistress was pregnant and let me tell you wow! I couldn't believe how sexual she was during those 9 months, it was like she was as horny I was all the time, we could barely keep up with each other. My asking her to wear the outfits at that point was dying down because she couldn't fit in them anymore because of the baby and I know for a fact she was glad she couldn't fit so I wouldn't ask her.
    Well after our little dude was born mistress and my focus was on the baby. my mistress's libido was at an all time low. She had been through a lot during birth and had a very minimal sex drive for that first year and a half after our baby was born. Actually we really couldn't have PIV sex for about 6 month because it would hurt her when I would enter her, so we just stopped having sex for a while.
    This is where my bad habits and behavior came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. Instead of trying to find what works for my queen and how to make her happy I just kept jerking off and looking at more wired porn so I could get off selfishly taking care of myself. There was very little intimate contact between us even though we still loved each other very much. We would go weeks without any real contact and I was to oblivious to notice because I was satisfying myself not looking out for her needs. She would often head to the bedroom after the baby went to bed, I would head to living room and if we needed to communicate we texted each other when we were literally 30 feet away from each other. Now to be fair to myself obviously with a new baby there is a lot going on so intimacy wasn't exactly high priority at the moment anyway but in the same light it is a sort of support and it lets your loved one know they are truly loved. We actually did have one very intense intimate moment a couple weeks after our son was born. It was the first real break we had. My mom had come over to watch the baby while mistress and I caught up on some much needed sleep. We couldn't go to sleep right away and we laid there staring at each other, then we both just started passionately making out, I squeezed her breasts and the milk flowed. She wanted me to lick and suck on her nipples and I gladly did. They were so sensitive I nearly gave her an orgasm that way as I couldn't play with her clit because it was still very sensitive. At that point mistress claims that was the most intense passion she has really ever felt. There was no sex but it was an incredible moment for us both. Unfortunately as I stated above after that we had nothing that came close to level of passion and intimacy for the next year and a half.
    One day over a year later, mistress was out and I was home alone. I got my laptop and started my usual self pleasuring routine. Today was different though, I was bored with my usual stuff and needed to find something that would send my cock over the top. I ended up stumbling across cuckold porn and figured what the hell let's see what this is about. Wow this shit was way hot! I found more and more and it was some seriously hot and dirty stuff. I was on a cuckold kick for about 2 weeks when I stumbled across Male Chastity with cuckolding. This is interesting I thought to myself as I watched a few videos and touched myself. For the first time in a long time I fantasized about my wife. But I fantasized about my wife getting fucked hard by another man while I watched helplessly bound in the corner. This was the first time I had sexually fantasized about my wife in a long time. Even though it was a strange fantasy it felt good to revive such strong sexual feelings for my wife again. Something funny happened when I orgasmed though, I realized how much I really wanted my wife and that I didn't really want another guy fucking her. It made me think about how I'd been pushing my wife away for the last 18 months by not paying the kind of attention to her I should've been. Well from there I did a little more research into MC and I found some real sites that truly discussed MC for relationship building purposes. One of the web sites was Kept For Her.com. They had a section titled "tips for him", I read through the page and had a bit of a pit in my stomach when I was done because of how the article made me feel. Everything I read about was how I should be treating my partner better and giving her the utmost respect. Masturbation and porn are purely forms of cheating etc... In the end masturbating takes your focus off of the woman in your life and other goals making you less attentive and ultimately careless. Jerking off is saying I care more about my needs than your needs. This all came down on me like a ton of bricks after I read this, I felt so guilty for the last decade of pushing slutty outfits at her that she didn't really want to wear, me looking at porn and tons of other naked women jerking off to them online instead of worshipping my goddess's beautiful mind and body furthering our connection. I wanted those intense feeling we had for each other like when we first met and right after our son was born. Ultimately I wanted to re-fall in love with my wife again. Not that we ever fell out of love but our love needed an overhaul.
    When I read about chastity it just seemed so right for me especially because I was so addicted to masturbating, plus the fact that it's a really hot fetish didn't hurt either and the benefits were clear. After about two weeks of research and refraining from looking at porn and masturbating I got up enough courage to ask mistress if she would be my keyholder. (To be continued) please feel free to comment or ask any questions if you wish :)
     
    Love&Passion likes this.
  2. I remember I was really nervous when I was getting ready to ask my mistress to lock me up. The thought was terrifying yet so thrilling at the same time. I probably masturbated 4 times that evening just thinking about it. I was actually staying elsewhere the night i asked my queen because I was going turkey hunting the next day. We were texting back and forth before bed and I told myself I should just wait and ask her the next day when I saw her in person. Nope, couldn't do it I am way to impatient of a person. So I texted her "what do you think about putting me in a chastity device and you holding the key?". There was a good long 5 minute gap before she responded, I was starting to sweat and thinking it was a bad idea that I asked her. Finally my phone vibrated and her response was "we'll see, good night, I love you honey" and that's what I was left with. I was thinking about it all the next day and not thinking about hunting turkeys at all. I was thinking about how I wanted my wife to be mistress and I wanted to be her sub. That night when I got home and we are alone I said "what do you think about my idea" she got shy and told me that she was bad about talking about this kind of stuff and then just said "I don't know" nervously. I was crushed but I had also asked her to do something that she knew nothing about other than a brief description of what I told her.
    I regrouped my thoughts and decided to send her a detailed email explaining chastity, her role and then of course my role, I've found email is a great way to talk about hard to talk about things with my wife. Email allows me to be more open with my thoughts and it gives her a chance to read-read my thoughts for better clarity, then it's easier to discuss the email in person later. I confessed my porn and masturbation problem and let her know that I wanted to stop it all and only be allowed to orgasm when she allowed it. I explained how this could benefit us both with usual I'll be your house space stuff and it's all about your pleasure etc... Her response was "I'll seriously think about it but we have to discuss it more". Yay! The door has been opened I thought to myself. I did even more research and found her some good info to read online, I also ordered her a book titled Male Chastity by Lucy Fairbourne that's really good for beginners. Well over the course of that next week she kept going back and forth about it but sounded like she did want to give it a try. I told her I had ordered her a book and it should arrive soon, it would give the women's perspective on MC. She was excited to read that book once the idea caught on a little more and actually asked me each evening before the book arrived if it was there yet, I found this quite encouraging. Well the book finally came on my day off, I unwrapped it and placed it on her pillow and was waiting for her to get home from work. Well after she got home and splitting the nightly duties between us, putting our baby to bed around 7 I let her know her book had arrived. She was very excited and went into our bedroom to lay down on the bed and read it. I had to wait in our living room because I didn't want to see her facial reaction to some of the books content but I was on pins and needles waiting for her response. About 45 minutes later (thank god it was a short book) she came out of the bedroom and I met her over by the door. She had a shy but excited grin on her beautiful face, I could also see a little bit of devilishness in there too. "I didn't realize boys were so dirty, I want to do it" she said. I felt so elated and there was such a feeling of gratitude and relief all at the same time. After I made my queen a nice dinner we watched a movie. After the movie she took my hand and lead me into the bedroom, we started making out and things got hot. She pulled away from French kissing me and in a very seductive voice told me she wanted fuck my brains out the moment I told her I wanted to be in chastity for her. And yes we had some very incredible sex that night, very incredible. The next day I texted her pics of 4 different colored Holy Trainer 2 devices and asked her to pick one for me. She ended up picking the black one. I ordered it and was wearing it two days later.
     
    Jblocked, iome343 and CagedAnimal2 like this.
  3. Great story! It is amazing how hot reality can be!
    Ss
     
    Lockedwithlove likes this.
  4. So the trials began, it was a little after May of 2015 and I'm now locked in my HT2. We're both trying to figure out our roles and understand what we're doing. Actually I'm just going to try to sum up May to November in hopefully a shorter post but we'll see. There were some very exciting things that happened during that time it was a lot of trial and error figuring each other out. I had a big problem with topping from the bottom. Even though what I was asking for was more female dominance, the fact that it was me asking for it was ruining the whole point of being in chastity for her and asking her to take charge. Was she really going to be dominant if I kept imposing and telling her what I wanted to do? Hell no and thank god I figured that out.
    In the first few months it was a fun start but equally as irritating because I had constant problems with my HT2. In the first few weeks I discovered I needed a 45mm cock ring instead of the 50mm, I was able to pull my device off completely once my body got accustomed to the larger size, I think most people run into this issue. So I ordered the 45mm ring and that was a much better fit so I thought I was good to go right? Nope, I had chaffing pretty bad on and off and then when that finally went away I found when I was locked overnight I would get mild edema in the morning. At this point my mistress and I decided I shouldn't be locked while we're sleeping and that was also after breaking my first HT2 device because I was sleeping in it. Anyway, I got my new HT 2 and got some really fine grit polishing paper and polished the hell out of it, it was super smooth and seemed to take care of my chaffing issues. I was still having issues with edema though and that was freaking me out but it seemed as long as I was out at night it was okay. I did a little research to see if others were having my same issue and I found other people that were having similar issues. They had customized their HT's by shaving little by little off to make a better fit. My issue was that the tube was too tight on my penis and not allowing the lymph fluid to flow back out giving me a little bit of swelling in the skin near the head of my penis. Usually after 30 min or a hot shower it would go away but it makes you a little paranoid that your dick is going to fall off or something. So I finally got it to the point where it fit just right and was still secure as the HT can be. But because I'd had so much trouble I was a little discouraged by it and also found it fairly easy to pull out of anyway, not that I was planning in trying to pull out to masturbate but as we all know it's more fun to know you can't get out. I was really wanting to try a steel device but I didn't want to spend $500 on a Mature Metal Queens Keep if I wasn't able to wear a device long term. I decided to buy a couple knock off devices to see if I even liked the feel of the steel. So I picked a few on eBay and they arrived a few days later. I'm really glad I tried these knockoffs, one of them ended being an absolute perfect fit and the other was a piece of crap. I couldn't believe I was only out $45 for the two and one of them fit like how some people described their multi hundred dollar custom device fitting. I really lucked out. I'm certainly going to be getting my MM queens keep one day, but as this is working for now I'll stick with it for a while.
    Consequently, changing my device over to steel was one of the best things that could have happened. It was right around month 4 when I dumped my HT2 for the steel knockoff. When I came out of the bedroom to show my mistress how it looked I was surprised at the smile on her face. She said "I love it! I hated that ugly black one you were wearing, this one looks more secure and permanent and I like how it's bulkier". She loves the way it looks in my underwear too. Ironically after I switched devices she wanted to play with my caged cock more and she would tease me a bit through the bars. This was a nice change because she's not into T&D or edging. I didn't realize that she was actually put off by the HT2 and I'll make sure to get her approval before ever ordering another device.
    After the new device was in place things changed a bit. I started to feel more of a desire for control and more dominant behavior from my mistress. She became a little more demanding and started expecting more from me in regards to household chores and other tasks. I was cooking all the meals at this point and serving her etc. When we'd have one on one time we spent a lot of it just talking to each other, I've become such a better listener when mistress is speaking. I admit I used to become easily distracted and zone out or just not pay as close of attention as I should've. Now I make sure I hang onto her every word when she is speaking to me and engage her in the conversation so she knows I'm interested and giving her my full attention. I realized the harder I worked at doing all the cooking, chores and being a good listener and making her happy in general made it easier for her to act more dominant with me because I was proving to her how much I wanted this lifestyle. I initially thought that she would just flip a switch and dominate me once I was locked up. It was after that stupid idea that she would just miraculously change that I finally realized that there is a lot of work that goes into a D/s relationship. We both have had to work at very hard through determination and patience to get where we are now. As a sub I needed to work on not topping from the bottom, and I did top from the bottom several times over the initial 4 or 5 months and really have had to catch myself and remind myself of my position but I was still a pest at times. For example, I was obsessed with the thought of my mistress fucking my brains out with a big strap on. I love anal play and mistress knows this too. Every once in a while she'll own me with her fingers but she has to be really horny to venture down that path. So I was trying to come up with some ideas such as rules or a contract that would really make me her bitch and make me feel like a slave. I came up with some really good ideas but the problem was that they were my ideas and not hers. It was my view of what Male chastity was supposed to be based off of other blogs and experiences I'd read over the last 5 months. So I really pushed for strapon sex hard and mistress finally allowed me to buy her a strapon. The strapon came in the mail and I was so excited. Because mistress said I could order one I thought it would be something often involved in our playtime often. Wrong! Mistress told me after it had arrived that she would certainly fuck me, but it would be up to her where and when. I said okay and kept my mouth shut or at least tried too. Almost 2 months had passed since I bought the strapon, I had made a few comments over those two months but very minimally as I didn't want to piss her off and mistress not fuck me. Some point during the month of October last year, mistress and I had an afternoon together, our child was at daycare and we were alone. We were just being lazy around the house talking about what we're going to do for the day. We chatted for a bit but I could tell mistress was up to something. Mistress got up from the couch and went into our bedroom and told me to stay out in the living room. A few moments later I was summoned by mistress "get in here slut!" I hurried to the bedroom and there was my beautiful mistress posing with her big tits out, wearing nothing but the red and black leather strapon harnessing a 7 inch dildo. She told me to unlock and to stand with my hands on our bathroom counter. I could barely get out of my device because I was starting to get so hard. I unlocked and assumed the position as she took the silicon lube and stroked her rubber cock to lube it up. She got behind me and handed me the lube and told me I was her lube bitch. I gladly took the lube and she held out her two fingers and I put an ample amount on them. She told me to put the lube down and put my hands back on the counter. I obeyed her and felt mistress run her fingertips up and down my butt crack and slowly massaged the lube onto my anus. She rubbed me back there for a moment just caressing me, driving me crazy. She wrapped her other arm around my chest and stuck her fingers into me, I could feel the cum starting to drip from my cock. She finger fucked me for a while until she thought I was ready for her cock, then I felt the cool head of a rubber dick pressing into my ass. I took a breath and slowly pushed back into my mistress. I opened up a little and then I felt her enter me all the way. What a rush! We slowly got a rhythm going, it was very uncoordinated at first but then we got our stride. Mistress was trying to reach around me and jack me off while she fucked me but couldn't quite reach so she told me to go to our bed and lay on my back. I obeyed and held my legs back for her once in position. She entered me again with ease as I was very lubed up and ready to go. I lay on my back holding my legs behind my knees while she rocked me back and forth. While she was fucking me on my back I asked her if she'd fuck me doggy style. Her breathing was heavy but she said "sure, I'll fuck you doggy style baby, I didn't think I'd like this as much as I do but I really do". I was elated because that was exactly what I wanted and needed to hear, I wanted her to fuck me caged all the time, I really wanted a true role reversal. So I got on my knees and mistress got up on the bed behind me. I have never been so turned on in my life I wanted this so bad for so long and I was finally getting it. She tried to do me doggy style but for some reason we just couldn't get it to work. So after mistress's cock kept falling out she said "fuck this, I'm going to lay down and you're going to ride my cock and cum on my chest". She laid down and got on top of her and sat right on the rubber cock and took its full length in. I started bouncing on her cock and pumping my own. I was bouncing so high I was coming up to the tip and going right down to the base. My mistress started to make some groaning noises that really got me going and I started to cum. I let go of my cock and just continued to bounce on my mistress's cock and cum all over her chest and tummy. After a moment I rolled off of my queen in an exhausted heap. She just looked at me and laughed then smiled. I got mistress's vibrator and continued to give her a very hard and intense orgasm.
    So I thought that was it, I thought she was hooked on femdom at that point and things would change, I thought our roles would be reversed and mistress would really be into it. I was dead wrong, it was like it never even happened. She never really wanted to talk about it afterwards and even to this day she hasn't fucked with a strapon again. I didn't understand it, I begged her and told her I would do anything but she won't really acknowledge how badly I want it still.
    Maybe she was just giving me a taste of the type of domme she could be just to fuck with me... Well it did and I want more!!! But I realize where I went wrong. I was always pushing for what I wanted and not what would please my mistress. My mistress called me out on it too, said I was clearly topping from the bottom regardless of how submissive my acts were trying to be. I had to agree with her, I made a decision to shut up and just go with whatever she says because that is how it's suppose to be that's what we all signed up for.
    Mistress started having a lot more fun in her role and I started to become grateful for any manner in which mistress played with me once I started living my role properly. She seemed more confident at that point and that was a lesson learned for me.
     
    CagedAnimal2 likes this.
  5. I have a dilemma, a query, an issue, all based around my problems with this phrase, "topping from the bottom". I realize that in a D/s relationship the s is not supposed to influence the D, that any activities carried out are when the D decides they will, and they should be all about the Ds desires, not the s. But surely any relationship, even a D/s one, are stronger if the desires of both are at least partially fulfilled?

    Also my Wife gets a lot of enjoyment seeing me get turned on. So if I don't tell her things that I would like, how is she supposed to find out by herself? If my Wife dressed me up as a baby I would go along with it but I wouldn't enjoy it. I would probably get bored and she wouldn't get that feedback that turns her on so much. But, if she was to ask me or allow me to tell her what my actual dress up fantasies are then light the fuse, stand back and off we go!

    I have got to a space in my development where I am happy with what we are doing and don't in any way try to influence my Wife. But I know there is so much more we might be able to do if she knew what turns me on.

    Anyway, I'm loving reading this. Keep going!
     
    Lockedwithlove likes this.
  6. Great story! Thanks for sharing. I would def not bring up the strap on again. She will in her own time. A side note, skipping a line between paragraphs would make your writing easier to read and probably lead to more comments.
     
  7. I agree, communication is absolutely key. I'm not exactly sure why she's not very receptive to my ideas. I half wonder if she's getting me back for all those years of pushing those PVC outfits on her when she felt self conscious about wearing them. She really likes being in charge is what she tells me so I just have to go along with it. In all fairness we have a lot going on. She's in graduates school, we have a 2 year old blah blah blah... So in the end her mind isn't as focused on me as I am on her. One thing she really really likes is to give me hand jobs and be really dirty about too. Probably 95% of the time Im allowed an orgasm it's by her hand. She says it makes her feel powerful and she just likes doing it like that. At first it was disappointing because I felt like hand jobs were getting boring. But when that's solely what I was getting I became grateful and she's gotten really good at them or I'm a lot more sensitive now probably both. Anyway once I just accepted it entirely up to her I truly felt more submissive to her and I think she felt more dominant. So I'll just keep taking baby steps and go from there. If I were to get really bored then something would have to change and I think mistress would agree. Right now I'm just going to go with it and see where she takes it. Maybe since summer is right around the corner she'll have more free time and be willing to experiment more. I know I still need to learn more patience though.
     
  8. Sorry I'll make sure I do that, I'm literally typing this all out on my phone but I'll separate my paragraphs in the furure :)
     
  9. Great effort! Cell typing is hard. Best of luck in the future for you both!!
     
    Lockedwithlove likes this.
  10. FINALLY UP TO DATE:

    There is a lot I didn't include in the last two large posts I recently left but there just isn't enough timed or me and there is just to much to include. If you're really interested in a lot of my details from early on in our chastity play go back to the very top of this thread and there is a link to my journal over at chastity forums. It's pretty hot reading for the most part. So moving forward to present day and how things are going up to this point.

    These last 5-6 months have been the most enjoyable for my mistress as I found out. Reasons being, I finally shut up about chastity. I have a tendency to over talk things and chastity was one of them. Even though I know she's really likes it, chastity is not something she really discusses with me, although I'm always open to her if or when it does come up.

    I'd mentioned in an earlier post how I thought my mistress was becoming more dominant which I know to be true. Little things that I pick up on now, certain things she says to me such as asking me to get things for her or she'll mention something and just expect me to get it. If I don't realize there was something she wanted then I get "the look" and I can pretty much figure out I missed something at that point and I scramble to make mistress happy.

    For a long time mistress struggled with being "mean" to me and she still does. I think for a lot of women who are still learning their roles the being "mean" part is a hard one to wrap their heads around. I've tried explaining that I don't see it as mean and there is a difference between beating truly mean and just playing. I need to find a way to let her know she can really test her boundaries with me and ill let her know if it's to much for me to handle. The awesome thing is I can definitely see changes in this area of chastity with her but again my patience gets the best of me sometimes.

    Going back to something I brought up in a previous post, I was talking about how my mistress accuses me of topping from the bottom I wanted to be a little more clear on that. It's not that every suggestion I give her she sees as topping from the bottom but more so some of the more sexual things I'd like us to try mainly talking about the strap-on sex. I've also asked her a few times in the past if we could try T&D and edging. Actually I asked about trying edging a couple months back when we were in the shower. One of her favorite places to make me cum is in the shower. She likes to stand behind me and jack me off with body wash. I asked her if she'd be willing to try edging me instead of giving me a full orgasm. She just said "that's something to think about, but it's not happening today" she then proceeded to stroke me very hard and forceful getting me to cum in probably under 30 seconds. Since then still no talk of edging. The ironic part about it it that she edged me several months back on purpose, she had a look of pure pleasure in her face after she knew what she did.

    Well that was the last time she edged me and hasn't tried since even after I brought it. It's just like with the strap on, mistress truthfully admitted how much she likes it but I haven't heard a peep about it again. Maybe it's because she knows how much I like it and she's torturing me by denying me that. I don't know this is all very confusing. What I do know is that the more she does deny me these things the more I crave whatever she offers me. For instance, last year we actually had a lot of PIV sex but starting the beginning of 2016 she decided to deny me her pussy. She didn't say anything to me until around the end of January when I mentioned she hasn't let my cock anywhere near her pussy. She said I know I'm doing it on purpose to you. I want to drive you crazy and make you want me in that way even more.

    Well it was working and the fact that I knew mistress was doing that on purpose made me even hotter for her. She made me wait a couple more weeks after she told me what she was doing before she allowed me into her goddess temple. It was well worth the wait! This was the middle of February but I remember it fairly well because it was that memorable. Baby was put to bed, house cleaned, dinner made and served to mistress. We were sitting on our couch watching a movie. Mistress laid out on the couch and put her feet in my lap to be rubbed.

    I rubbed her feet with lotion, when she felt relaxed enough she slipped onto the floor in front of me so I could rub her back. I started with her lower back and worked my way up. I gave her an amazing massage finishing up by playing with her hair. I ran my fingertips over her temples and gently over her ears and back up to her temples again. I said "mistress, may I please go down on you" she replied "yes, and go unlock yourself". She told me where find the key and I did as she ordered. When I came back from uncaging myself she had slid a little further down onto the floor, removed her yoga pants and opened her legs for me. I got down on my hands and knees and crawled up between mistress's legs and kissed her on the lips then said "thank you mistress".

    She kissed me back and without saying a work placed her hand on top of my head gently pressing me down. I got down into my rightful position and started pleasing my queen. She was very ready for me, her pussy was so wet and delicious. My cock was so hard it hurt because it hadn't been hard all week. It was such a pleasure to go down on her because she also hadn't let me do that in quite a while either. She was moaning and moving her hips around, I knew I was doing my job right. She told me she wanted to feel me inside her, my cock was throbbing just hearing that. I got on top and she guided my cock into her. She felt so nice and I just wanted that feeling to last a long time.

    I didn't think I'd last very long because I hadn't had her in so long, luckily our living room is hardwood with an area carpet so my knees were getting nice and sore helping me hold back my orgasm. I started to get a little more rough and mistress pushed on my head to go back down on her. I started licking her again, I love going back down on her after we've been going at it hard. There's something really hot about eating her loose pussy and the extra wetness. As I was going down on her mistress said we were going to play a game. She said that I can come up and fuck her whenever I want but she would push me back down to lick her whenever she wanted. I loved it!

    This went back and forth for a good while before I was having to pull out and go down on her because I knew I was moments away from cuming. I pulled out one more time and went down on her and wanted to make her orgasm. I played real gentle with the tip of my tongue and her clit just the way she likes it, soft strokes. Mistress's breathing and moaning grew heavier and then I pushed her over the top. She was cuming hard and I kept licking, she told me to fuck her till i came so I did. I wasn't to far off just a few pumps away, I pulled out just as I started cuming and I gave myself a ruined orgasm on accident! Shit! Oh well it was amazing regardless of ruined "o" or not.

    The next morning we were taking a shower together, and I was explaining to mistress what a ruined orgasm was and how I'd accidentally done that to myself last night. She just looked at me and said well " I guess if you're going to complain about it I'll give you another one" she said jokingly. She turned me around and got her body wash and started jacking me off from behind. Mistress had me cuming in a matter of no time. In all reality she just likes to make me cum so she was totally stoked that I still had cum inside me for her to release. You really should see her face after she gives me a release by hand, it's fairly priceless.

    Although I get released just about once a week she still denies me her body for a month at a time sometimes and that drives me just as insane. I don't know if our chastity play is that conventional but God we sure both love it and love each other even more because of it. Mistress really isn't queen and I would do anything for her to make her happy.
     
  11. Awesome!!! Thanks for making it easier to read also. Great writing! I'd keep the pressure off with the edging and strap-on play. I think you're right. She clearly knows what she's doing. I'd add ruined orgasms there too. If she like to make you cum, be greatful!!
     
    Lockedwithlove likes this.
  12. I won't bring up the strap-on play or the other stuff again. I'll let her venture down that road if she chooses, she clearly knows I like it and want more of it. so there is no point in me saying anything to her and I certainly don't want to annoy her. I forgot to mention that she teases me occasionally with talking about strapon play, telling me she going to fuck me with a big black cock. She says that while she's stroking me, it always sends me over the edge when she talks dirty to me like that. She definitely knows what she's doing that's become clear over the last several months. I certainly am grateful she does let me cum as often as I get too, she is a wonderful mistress. I really hope I can get her involved with the CM community but again I don't even want to push that :)
     
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  13. Well stated, just enjoy your awesome ride!
     
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  14. Well, I am sure there are many opinions on this and many variations on works for people. Having been a Master in the past, I can clearly tell when someone is topping from the bottom...it is not telling someone what you like or indicating what works for you..every good Master attempts to discern that as early and as often as they are capable of. Topping from the bottom is an attempt by the "s" to lead the session or the relationship from a false position of submission. Frankly, it happens in both male and female subs, but can frequently be more insistent by males...mostly because they can't deal with delayed satisfaction! That is why cages and strict rules are best for training purposes...it gets the head in the right space!

    I will probably come back to this topic as it is an interesting one and something I haven't defined precisely enough. But the general idea is a true submissive, either by nature or training, surrenders the lead to the Dominant and just rides the wave that the Dominant constructs....if the Dominant does his or her work well, the submissive spends no time thinking ahead, no time figuring out what they want, they just live in the moment.
     
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  15. Tombow, you nailed it right on the head, it came down to struggling with delayed satisfaction for me. I'm much better with dealing with that now because it's the delayed part that makes everything so worthwhile in the end. I've got my head in the right space now and am enjoying the ride. Even though there are a lot of things I would like to try and don't know if my mistress would ever try them she always makes whatever we're doing very exciting for me. I love the way she talks to me and verbally teases me when we play. To revise something I said in an earlier post, I'm not going to stop giving her ideas for things to try because there might something I suggest she might actually like to try. This time though I'll just mention whatever it is I want to suggest and then drop it, leave it up to her if she ever wants to bring it up again. That wouldn't be topping from the bottom just kindly dropping a suggestion.
     
    Tombow likes this.
  16. I think your description of what you intend to do is perfect. Just remember that your Mistress is quite likely to have remembered all of your requests and will not appreciate bringing them up again. Typically males think they have forgotten or did not hear the request and try again in a week. As a general rule, you should wait at least 6 months! She has not forgotten, trust me :). You appear to already have this in mind...I am just offering an observation for future reference :)

    Enjoy, you are very lucky indeed!
     
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  17. A rough week:

    I'm really glad to have the Mansion to scroll through when I'm bored, horny or whenever I just need something to occupy my time and or mind. As you probably read above I restarted my blog on this site mostly because the Mansion is much more interactive and is very diverse as well. I enjoy people giving me feedback or offering advice on my posts especially since our chastity play is always evolving.

    I had a lot of down time this week because mistress was quite ill. I won't go into details but she was incapable of doing anything for herself for about 4 days it was that serious. This was the first real dose of actually having to do ALL the work around the house and take care of our child. I take my hat off to single parents because that is no easy task. I feel fortunate that I was already doing the bulk of the housework and all of the cooking because I think I would've been quite literally overwhelmed if I wasn't already use to that.

    I am going to pat myself on the back for keeping such a clean household and having just about everything organized like we never skipped a beat. Although now mistress knows exactly how capable I am of maintaining the household and I might end up with all the chores in the end, which consequently I'm okay with. Anything that pleases my queen.

    Well without going into to much detail mistress was having some severe anxiety. It's understandable considering she is working towards a very difficult graduate degree in the medical field. I was doing everything I could think of to help relieve her anxiety and tension but nothing was enough. It was 4am and I had to work the next day and she needed to be capable of studying and retaining important material. So I suggested id try to give her an orgasm with her vibrator to relieve her anxiety. I got her the pink hitachi and we laid together.

    She took the magic wand and placed it between her legs. I gently ran my fingertips over her stomach and breasts while speaking softly to her trying to relax her. Mistress calmed a bit and started to relax. Her breathing slowed but was deeper, she started to make little moans and noises of pleasure so I knew it was helping. Mistress then passed the wand to me and wanted me to make her cum. I took the vibrator and pressed it right into her clit and started some slow circular movements. I often wonder if it's even necessary to move a hitachi vibrator around on the vagina for more stimulation. Those things are so powerful I could probably keep it in one spot to get the same effect.

    I continued to use the vibrator and started to softly lick and kiss her hard nipples. Mistress really liked that, she started to moan louder the more I teased her breasts. I was treating each nipple like they were individual clits and I started licking and toying with them in the same manner I do when I orally please mistress.

    That sent her over the edge and she came. Not as hard as I thought she would've but nevertheless she orgasmed. All was well for about 5 minutes, I thought she would remain relaxed and the fall asleep and she thought so too. In short order the anxiety came back and unfortunately she was up the rest of the night watching Sex and The City.

    The next day she saw the doctor and was prescribed Xanax. Finally mistress could get some peace. She is much better now and is getting back to her old self after 4 days of no sleeping or eating. She thanked me for being such a good husband and taking care of her and let me know I would be rewarded. I let mistress know that I will always take care of her and serve her for the rest of my life. Mistress also told me that even though she wasn't able to sleep after I got her to cum, she thought it was very hot and it was the best she felt over those 4 days. I just said I wish I could've done more for her.

    Moving forward, mistress is able to study today and make up her work. She looked as bright and beautiful as ever this morning and I made sure to let her know. There are only 5 more weeks till she's done for the semester and then I can pamper her all summer long. We have our first chastiversary coming up in the beginning of May which is right after school and I have a plethora of gifts to spoil my queen and I can't wait. I thought I'd mention this too because i thought it was funny. Our chastiversary had to be delayed by two weeks so mistress could finish school that way she could use her weekends to study for finals. How fitting for a chastiversary to be delayed. ;)
     
  18. Some days are little tougher than others. Mistress makes me feel like a real ass when I screw up on even some of the smaller things even though my intentions are good.
     
  19. One thing chastity will teach you is understanding and patience and I can tell you this first hand and at some points I still struggle with both still. I'll often give advice throughout the forum but many times I need to remind myself of my own advice primarily baby steps. For instance, a few nights ago I was reading a thread post titles "what you miss most". Almost everyone replied being able to fuck their partners brains out. Of course it takes two to tango but let's face it, most of the time this was easier to achieve when you weren't locked in a dick cage. I too miss that, I miss sitting and making out, getting hot and heavy and then fucking the hell out of my wife. It just doesn't happen like that anymore but it is what she wants.

    When I asked Sexy (she prefers to be called Sexy instead of mistress now so I will be referring to her as Sexy or Mistress Sexy from now on) if she missed just being able to have sex on a whim like we used too as well as my lasting power being much better. She just replied with a "meh", so I prodded further to get more of an answer from her. Well as it turns out a lot of the time penetrative sex for her is fairly uncomfortable in a particular spot in her vagina. She's always had this issue but it was exacerbated after she gave birth to our child over two years ago. Now over time that spot that's sore/burns when we have PIV has gotten less tender but it's still an issue for her.

    After her first ultrasound over two years ago is when she learned what was causing her discomfort. Before this she never told me about her discomfort probably thinking it was normal after a long fucking. So even though the spot has gotten better over time she has really cut back on our PIV in the last year and we've probably only had PIV sex 4 or 5 times this year. I'm really okay with that because I don't want to do anything that hurts her just for my own satisfaction. She did tell me that after I go down on her or give her a good orgasm via the vibrator that creates the perfect moment for PIV sex.

    Onto the next issue that prompted me to write this post in the first place. Along with telling me about the discomfort she admitted that her sex drive lately was just really low. I knew this from the last 2 years when she said she felt a change in her sex drive. I had thought things vastly improved over the last year while I was in chastity. Truth is I'm sure things have improved but I got a little offended by this. Which I shouldn't have because it's biological and this is nothing her or I can control. But I took it personally and I brooded about it all night and a little the next morning.

    What changed my thoughts from brooding to feeling a little better about it was waking up next to Sexy. She asked me to make some coffee and her lunch for her to take to class. I obeyed like a good chaste boy and made her a nice lunch and coffee and even added a love note to brighten her day. After she was done getting ready and was about to leave she smiled at me very grateful for what I'd done and gave me a kiss. I guess I'm taking her low sex drive personally because in a way I feel like it's something I've done or I'm not doing enough to make her happy. I know the last sentence sounds stupid but that's just how I felt. I read others blogs and read about the vast improvements to their relationships and sex lives and in a way I now just kind of feel like we're at a bit of a standstill.

    While Sexy was giving me a hand job in the shower a few days ago she apologized for just giving me hand jobs lately because I commented on them getting a bit boring in an earlier blog posting but she really like doing that to me. She then said that she promised more was to come in the future and just to give her more time to grow into her role. I felt really bad because I realized I hadn't really meant to say that what she was doing was boring because I actually really enjoy the way she controls my orgasms and am grateful for all the times she allows me to cum, I'm not really sure why I said it in the first place. I think when I get to reading others blogs I get a little envious of the kinkyness others and wish for the same. I know we're going to get there because Sexy is a kinky girl and she likes to play dirty but as I said she needs more time and I need to slow down.

    So last night I apologized to her for being short with her the last couple of days and explained how I took it personally when she said she had a low sex drive. I said I thought it was something I was doing even though I'd been trying really hard to please her. Sexy said that it was nothing I had done or was doing and the fact of the matter was even though her second drive is lower its certainly much better now than it was even a year ago. Sexy said that chastity has brought us much closer together and wouldn't trade that for anything and we both continued to talk about it. I felt much better now that we had discussed it and it was made clear to me.

    Sexy then gave me a coy look and asked me if I'd like to take a shower with her, of course I said yes. She instructed me to get everything ready while she went to find her hidden key. I got the water hot and got us a couple of towels. She came up to me with the key and unlocked me and removed the lock. I removed the rest of my device and then Sexy grasped my dick and used it like a leash and lead me into the shower. Sexy then asked me to lather her up while she still was playing with my dick. I happily obeyed and started lathering her with her luffa from her gorgeous auburn hair to her pretty little toes. As I was rising after washing her feet, Sexy grabbed the body wash and squeezed a large amount into her right hand. I stood behind her just to the right side so she could play with me easily. I ran my fingertips up and down her back and then over her breasts and nipples and she was visibly getting turned on and then I wrapped my arms around her. She then grabbed my cock firmer and started jacking me. I started moaning and talking softly into her ear saying dirty things. Sexy then firmly told me to "shut up and cum!". So fucking hot how she said it to me! It took only a few moments after that and she got me cumming hard.

    We both calmed down after I came and she said "the thing is, I know you think you need to be giving me more orgasms than I'm giving you but this honestly is almost as good and very fun for me". She feels tension relief when she's me spurting all that cum, and again repeated to me that it's a lot of fun controlling my orgasms.

    Everything was cleared up and I felt much better, Sexy felt better and we continue down this path. I just have to remember, small steps and we will get to where we want to be. Chastity had really helped me when it comes to explaining myself. I can't explain it exactly but being locked up and having to answer to Sexy because she's in charge has made it easier for me to be plainly honest with her. It just sometimes takes me a little longer to organize my thoughts and explain to her what I really want to say but my communication with my Sexy has vastly improved.
     
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  20. Had an odd problem the last couple of days, I seem to have a pain and tight feeling in the head of my penis when I get really hard. Initially I thought it was maybe a medical problem but now I'm starting to think it's a combination of me getting really hard and not being used to being that hard. It's still pleasing when I'm touched but not as comfortable as I'd like it to be. Sexy thinks my cock has gotten bigger too and it might just be me being extra horny so I get just a little harder when I'm free.

    Lady_M on chastity forums said her man has a similar issue and she makes him use lots of lotion to help keep the skin stretchy, I think I'm gonna do the same. I'm hoping that Sexy will be willing to tease me to stretch me out and lotion me to keep the pain away. It would be like tease and denial but for more of a medical purpose. Maybe she'll just have me unlock and do it myself who knows. What I do know is I miss having my device on, it feel strange not to. Also I didn't realize how sensitive my penis had become. We took a long walk last night and I wore an old pair of boxers that I hadn't worn in a year. I've been wearing my incontinents underwear because of the extra support for my device as well as potential cum an urine leakage.

    The head of my cock was rubbed raw after those two miles of my cock rubbing on the seem. It had healed by today but I wore boxer briefs today to help cut down on the rubbing. Sexy wanted me back in the device today but I asked for one more day out just to play it safe. If all is good by tomorrow morning I'll be a locked boy again. It's just more fun to be locked up than on the honor system. :)
     
    Jblocked likes this.
  21. Despite having the mild pain in the head of my Johnson that didn't stop me from having two amazing orgasms. I would have noted them in my previous post but I was more focused on worrying about my junk . It seems pretty normal feeling now after being out for a couple of days for a good stretch. I think I'll be able to go back in tonight or first think tomorrow morning.

    I'd been unlocked since Saturday night the 16th with promise of being played with. That night Sexy was stroking me while we watched a movie in bed and she was to tired for some serious play and literally fell asleep with my dick in her hand lol. The next morning we took a shower together and she started playing with me again. I noticed the pain at that point and not the night before but that didn't stop either of us. Sexy was just touching me lightly down there driving me nuts gently playing with me.

    She gave me one of those impossible to hold back orgasms and I shot cum all over the shower. She was proud of herself as usual but also very horny after doing this. She rarely wants me to but that morning she wanted me to rub her clit in the shower. I played with her getting Sexy very worked up. She said she needed something more powerful and so she hopped out of the shower dried off and got her hitachi vibrator. I exited the shower too. She quickly got herself to orgasm in no time. She handed me the vibrator and I tossed it to the side. She said she wanted to have sex with me and asked if I could go again. I started making myself hard and got a bit of silicon lube and rubbed it on my hard shaft.

    I got on top of Sexy which was a wonderful place to be after not being allowed that kind of play for so long. It's been quite a while since we've had PIV sex. Slowly I pressed my cock into Sexy until I was all the way, it felt tight on the head of my cock and slightly uncomfortable but no pain. I wrapped my arms around her embracing her tightly and I felt her big bare breasts pressing into me. I really missed how that felt, feeling her soft skin and warmth up against me like that while we rock back and forth. But as much as I was enjoying that it was also bittersweet because there was still mild pain once we got a rhythm, I think she was squeezing my cock with her pussy too. Nevertheless that didn't stop me, I was able to give Sexy two very nice orgasms before I finally came very hard. The orgasm I had was very intense and i felt it throughout my body. The pain actually allowed me to hold off my orgasm longer which was a blessing in disguise.

    It felt so amazing to be able to give my mistress a vaginal orgasm that wasn't me licking or using a vibrator. Don't get me wrong, I love making her cum any which way possible but nothing makes you feel like a real man like when you're woman is having a moaning screaming orgasm because your dick feels amazing to her. I don't know when she'll let me do that to her again but it was certainly worth the wait even with the mild pain.

    Now because I was allowed to orgasm twice I've had the drop in desire to be my queens servant. It's slowly coming back and having the device off isn't helping speed that process up either. There's something about wearing the device that helps you get your head back into the right role. Anyway, maybe I'm just feeling lazy because it's been so nice outside. Either way I'm sure once I'm locked back up things will return to normal and I'll be back on me knees in front of my queen.
     
    salonslave likes this.
  22. On your knees in front of your queen! A great place!
    Ss
     
  23. Your description of mild pain when you make love does sound like the beginnings of a phimosis, but that only makes sense if you are uncircumcised. At least I think so, I haven't heard of a phimosis developing if you are cut.

    I just want to say that one of the things I hear constantly, about post orgasm dip in a readiness to serve, doesn't have to happen. I get a dip in response to reaction to my Wife's teasing, the intensity of my feelings just isn't there until about two weeks after my last release. But I know that it will come back and I know that if I change my attitude this will disappoint my Wife. Because of this I have not experienced the issue as you describe it. Each time I am allowed an orgasm I actually search my feelings to check and see whether the fabled lack of interest happens to me and so far I am glad to say it hasn't.

    I am not trying to criticize you, I loved reading about your experience, it sounded amazing. I also realize having read your story how rare your opportunity to make love was and I am really pleased for you. But maybe this dip in readiness is something you could work on, make it a choice not to allow it to happen as a way of being even better in your role.

    Your writing is getting better by the way. Your description of your experience had enough detail to be a real turn on without dwelling too much on all the details. Fabulous stuff!
     
    Lockedwithlove likes this.
  24. Glad you like my writing!
    Yes, I've been consulting Dr. Google all day to see what's going on. The closest thing I found was possibly prostatitis, it's the only thing I can find where you feel a tightness/pain in the head of your penis. It's essentially an infection in your prostate and one of the causes is sexual arrousal over time with no ejaculation. Doesn't really seem to make sense though because I'm not T&D'd and I usually orgasm at least once a week. If it's not completely gone in a weeks time I'll go and see the doc. I think the dip in enthusiasm in my role might have more to do with this weird pain. In fact I'm going to say that's what's doing it because 99% of the time I'm right back at it doing nice things and trying to get my mistress's approval.
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  25. Great writing!
     
    Lockedwithlove likes this.