Is she coming along?

It sure sounds like it

Just don't be pushy, let her go at her own pace.

 

Just play it cool, don't be needy, don't bring it up,

 

Make sure to give her a lot of attention when you wear the cage. That is attention without some kind of expected return. With back rubs and foot massages she will hopefully tease you in return. Remember that it is up to her when things will go further. That is the most difficult part of chastity.

 

It also sounds like she doesn't want you masturbating. Keep it up.

It sounds like you don't need to make too much of an effort to hide it as long as you aren't flaunting it intentionally.

Your authenticity with integrity, purity, and

 

Good luck. She'll come around if you show her it really works. Not tell her.

 

Sounds like it's going well for you, stay the course, and maybe she will ease back into it

 

Just looked through your previous experience.
I should apologise, my tongue in cheek remarks probably did not help you in any way at all.

Reading this now I probably have some better feedback.
I don’t think this is healthy.
Keeping your cage as a weird thing in between you two, not knowing whether she’s accepting or would prefer it all to just stop. You could be driving her from you more than helping the situation. What if she wanted to be close to you the other morning and instead felt your cage and stopped… maybe she feels you wear the cage to keep her from you. I don’t know the answers to that, what conversations you’ve had or her understanding of what you want.

I think it’s pretty obvious you made mistakes previously.

What’s in it for her?
You’ve got to think about the aspects she would want from this. If I was getting my cage out in public or washing my windows naked because I had a cage on I doubt my wife would be too accepting either.
She keeps me caged as she sees how it improves me and our relationship.

This started with her first accepting the cage and then understanding of what it was all about. It sounds as if your partner is accepting to some degree of the cage now, or at least your determination to wear it. Does she know why?

You said in your previous thread that she found it ‘in her face’. That could be a nod to the excessive behaviours you were demonstrating… but I think it might be something far more simple. Your cage is very big. Almost daunting. I know from speaking to my wife about my cages that she would not allow that one for me.

Here’s my 5 point plan to get this moving to where you want it to go… (I’m assuming this is you caged 24/7 with your partner in control of your orgasms):

1. Research the hormonal affects of chastity.

2. Bring up the cage with your partner. Something simple like “are you happy with my cage”

3. Explain to her how being caged makes you feel. Yes horny and frustrated, but also all your attention is devoted to her. It makes you feel closer etc. be genuine. Show her the research.

4. Ask her to pick a cage with you that she would be happy to keep you in.

5. Lock it up and ask her just to keep the keys until she wants you out. Do not discuss it or show any other weird kinks. See where she leads it to.

Might work, might not. Wouldn’t want to stay in chastity limbo like you are now though…

I will say if you’re expecting her to suddenly more dominant and into weird fetishes you’ll only ever be disappointed. She is who she is and you’ve got to be accepting of that.

 

Food for thought then.
How do you change her understanding that the cage doesn’t cause problems and you’re really good to her…
To understanding that you are being really good to her because of the cage*?


*If that is the case

 

@IB-Chaste has laid out a great 5 step plan for you, @Pieterchaste . The only thing that I might suggest you add, if this is part of your thinking, is that you appeal to her to help you with your compulsion to view porn & masturbate so that you can be chaste for her. Tell her you love her and want her to be the only source of your sexual pleasure, but only after satisfying her needs for emotional, intellectual, & physical intimacy.

 

Sex with it on might be one weird thing too far to start. You know her best, and will have make that call.

 

Definitely. She doesn't seem to mind you wearing it, so that's a big plus.

But don't pester her at all. I mean about holding the key, rules, or even explanations.
Just make wearing your cage your new normal.
If she asks you to take it off, for sex or any other reason, do so without question. But then, once the reason for not having it on has passed, without a fuss or even mentioning it, put it back on.
That will have two effects. Firstly it will normalise your wearing of the cage, and also it will put her in charge sexually. It won't feel like it to her to start with, as you'll always be compliant, so it won't feel like a power struggle. If you allow her to always make the decision when you take your cage off, then she's effectively making all the decisions on when you can have sex, so will become the dominant controlling partner.

Oh, but you DO want her to notice a change in your behaviour. What you shouldn't try to do is change her, that's hard to do. What's much easier is to be the person who changes their behaviour for the better. You are the person that needs to change!
What you need to aim for is for her to experience the benefits of you being caged. Being more attentive, caring, catering for her needs, anticipating the little things that she needs done, and just doing them before she needs to ask, or does them herself. It will be mostly just little routine daily things, picking up the garbage, making breakfast or dinner, doing the dishes, fetching her slippers, getting her a drink, ...

Once she understands that your chastity is changing you for the better then you won't need to offer her the key, she'll be asking for it!

 

I think you are on the right track... go slow and be prepared to win her over with your behavior and a little information to help her realize it's not as weird as she thinks. It took my wife awhile to come around to that, but having a changed man who is her best friend and confidant is very compelling!

 

That's where your definition of "sex" becomes important. If to you that means PIV, it's going to make things very difficult. But if for me it means sexual activity resulting in arousal and / or one or more of us reaching orgasm, than sex can happen a lot without ever removing the cage.

 

You are so spot on! Your changed behavior, all of the things that you begin to do for her, etc. very well could produce significant change in her without you even trying to change her. It happened to my wife and I love the changes it's produced in her.

 

I was assuming he meant piv strapon sex, and was urging caution. It has taken my wife a long time to get used to even keeping me locked after some worshipping, I think she'd feel like rewarding me, and it would usually lead to piv and an orgasm for me. Despite me being happy to be denied, wanting to be denied more often than she would... She still does a bit, and she knows for sure that I'm so much better at 2 weeks than at one. When she wants it she'd rather it were fairly conventional. For me, it is more intense every time, even if it's been only a few days, the fact that it's less played with has made me very sensitive.